


The Memory Band

by AuroraBorealia, LadyNorbert



Series: Skyhold Academy Yearbook [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Teachers, F/M, Firsts, M/M, Memories, One-Shot Collection, School Reunions, Sequel, Storytelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-03-11 15:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 97,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13527222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraBorealia/pseuds/AuroraBorealia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNorbert/pseuds/LadyNorbert
Summary: Part Seven of the Skyhold Academy Yearbook series focuses on the theme of memories and firsts. The inhabitants of the "best school ever" have plenty of memories to share, as well as new ones to make, as another winter comes to the school. From storytelling to school reunions and all the zaniness in between, it's everything you would expect from Skyhold Academy. So grab your syllabus and don't forget to enroll in your classes as you join us in Skyhold yet again!





	1. A Wintersend to Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, dearest darling Skyhold Academy Yearbook readers! AB here! First of all, my deepest apologies on how long it took to post this - I've been in a bit of a funk lately, so I just wasn't getting around to it. But I'm here now with Part Seven in the Skyhold Academy Yearbook saga of craziness! This installment is named after the special Dragon Age: Origins item of the same name and, as the description of the story implies, focuses heavily on memories, both new and old. We sincerely hope you enjoy - and don't forget, if you haven't already and you want to be a part of the school reunion chapter, to give us a name you would like to use and we'll give you a cameo as a returning student! (See our story "Disorienuptials" for more details) So let's dive in, shall we?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Cassandra goes to visit her husband in Ostwick for Wintersend, they both end up making a new friend - and a decision.

* * *

  **A Wintersend to Remember** ****

* * *

Almost three months had passed since the day of Skyhold’s legendary double wedding, and as fall became winter, the school was settling back into normalcy (or, at least what passed for normalcy in Skyhold). Bethany – and Duke – had successfully completed the permanent move to the school, Aveline and Donnic had taken up residence at the Hawke estate, and Cole’s mabari Snow was more than happy to gain Duke as a friend. Meanwhile, Skyhold was full as many of the students once again opted to stay in the “best school ever” over the Wintersend break, which was fast approaching. Evvy, Cullen, Cole, and baby Skye were all preparing for a visit to Ostwick – an event that had been impossible the previous Wintersend, thanks to the blizzard that had kept the entire school snowbound. Since their plan was to depart a week before Wintersend and come back the week after, the staff decided to have a bit of an early celebration so the Rutherfords could be a part of it before they left. Once everyone was installed in their usual corners of the staff room, the gift exchange began in earnest.

As usual, the staff was lavish in their generosity to one another. Josephine had made everyone beautifully decorated boxes of cookies, Michel (who wanted to make sure his first Wintersend gift to the Skyhold staff was a memorable one) had commissioned handmade personalized Orlesian masks for each staff member, and the Tethrases gave out their first joint gift as a married couple, which was of course an epic poem written by Varric coupled with artwork by Bethany. Dorian, who gave everyone the gift of new leather bound notebooks for their lesson plans, also gave out brightly colored vests for each staff member as a bit of a gag gift, calling to mind the “coat of many colors” incident. Additionally, since Dorian was loath to forget his niece and nephew in any way, a new hat had been purchased for Cole and a beautiful hand painted doll was designated for Skye. But it was Hawke’s gift that took the cake, and her continued smirking throughout the evening proved as much.

While she gave out several handsomely painted glass paperweights earlier in the evening on behalf of herself and Fenris, who was currently out of the country with the dance troupe, she had something else up her sleeve when the primary gift-giving had finished. The flat boxes that she handed out were revealed to contain simple hardcover books, the subject matter of which was made obvious just by taking one look at the cover.

Over the previous months, Skye Rutherford’s vocabulary had slowly been expanding. She had started, of course, with “Da” as her first word during the summer visit to Redcliffe farms and shortly thereafter added Cole’s name (much to the delight of her big brother) as well as “Ma”. After that came halting and adorable attempts at each of the staff members’ names, as much as a child not even a year old could manage – including “Jojo” for Josephine, “Elly” for Leliana, and “Boo”, which, after much puzzling, everyone realized was her attempt at “Bull”. Naturally, Uncle Dorian’s name was one Skye learned right after she learned the members of her immediate family… sort of. When it came time for the child to try and identify her “shiny uncle”, the best she could manage was “Dodo,” much to Dorian’s surprise.

“No, no, princess,” Dorian had tried to correct her one day in the staff room. “It’s _Dorian._ Do-ri-an. See?”

“Dodo!” she cooed cheerfully, reaching for his face.

“Huh.” The noise came from Varric, who of course found the scene hilarious. “I always thought of you as a peacock, Sparkler, but I bow to her superior wisdom.”

Dorian had merely sighed, although as much as he pretended to be ruffled by it, everyone knew he secretly loved the child’s accidental moniker for him. “We all know Dorian’s ‘little princess’ could call him whatever she pleased and he wouldn’t protest,” Leliana had teased. Dorian merely shrugged, unable to deny what was so obviously fact.

He was, however, granted subtle revenge when Skye dubbed Varric “Ick.” Now it was Hawke’s turn to find a name hilarious, and – as her Wintersend gift proved – she hadn’t forgotten about it.

“Now, I can’t take all the credit for this,” she remarked as she watched everyone study the books. “Most of the credit goes to little Skye. And I will admit I had some help from the Poetry Club when it came to writing these.”

“You aren’t serious,” said Dorian, blinking.

“ _The Adventures of Dodo and Ick_.” Varric read the title in a somewhat flat voice, looking like he wanted to be offended, but just couldn’t. “Hawke, you didn’t.”

“Oh, but I did.” Her smirk widened. “It was too good to pass up. You’ll notice I did all the illustrations. And as I said, the Poetry Club helped me with the verse, but the thoughts are all mine.”

“Hawke, there are no words to describe this. Literally.” Varric shook his head and began chuckling. Next to him, Bethany was laughing so hard she was nearly in tears. “Laugh it up, Sunshine,” he said teasingly.

“She’s not the only one,” Evvy interjected, wiping her own eyes. Cullen was likewise in stitches.

“Very creative, my dear lady Hawke,” said Dorian, waggling his finger at her, but nevertheless grinning. “This might be the most creative Wintersend gift I’ve gotten yet.”

“I live to serve,” Hawke replied with a little bow. “Now, hold those books up. I promised the Poetry Club I’d get a picture of you with them as a reward for all their hard work.” She lifted her phone. “Smile.”

* * *

The party went on for a little while longer as the teachers admired their gifts and _The Adventures of Dodo and Ick_ was read aloud, which had everyone quite nearly rolling in the aisles. It was Cassandra’s phone that brought them all back to reality.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, rising to answer it as it buzzed. “Mahanon said he was going to call. I didn’t realize it was so late. Excuse me.” As she left the room to answer her phone call, the celebrants began to retire to their separate quarters, the happy gathering coming to an end. Only a few of the teachers remained when Cole came drifting in, searching for his parents.

“Hello, everyone,” he said as the teachers called him into the room. “Skye is asleep, my friends are watching her, so I came to find all of you. Did you have a nice time?”

“Very much so,” his father confirmed, waving him over. “Come sit with us a bit.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, noting the book on Dorian’s lap as he went to sit down. “Did you like the book, Uncle Dorian? Ms. Hawke made me promise not to tell.”

Dorian merely chuckled. “Yes, very much so. There was a dramatic reading of it too – your Aunt Cassandra has that filmed for posterity on her phone.” He looked up, seeing the woman in question enter the room once more. “Ah, speaking of whom…”

“Oh, hello, Cole.” She smiled at him as she took her seat again. “A happy early Wintersend to you. Are you looking forward to the trip to Ostwick?”

Cole nodded. “Yes. I haven’t been there since after Mother and Father’s wedding. It will be good to see everyone. It’s a little loud, so many people, but lots of love. And Skye can meet everyone.”

“Indeed she can. I’m sure it will be lovely.” She smiled, absently playing with her wedding ring as she spoke.

Cole watched the movement and cocked his head. “Is it strange to be married to Uncle Non but still have him so far away, Aunt Cassandra?” he asked.

“It is,” she confirmed, her tone a little wistful. “Especially this time of year.”

“You know, Cass, you could come along with us,” said Evvy thoughtfully. “Classes are over for the holidays, so you could get away with little difficulty. And you know Non would _love_ it.”

Cass considered that. “That… actually, that’s a wonderful idea,” she mused, a smile slowly spreading across her features. “I can be the one to surprise him for a change.” She glanced towards the headmistress, as if in search of confirmation.

Leliana chuckled. “As Evvy said, classes are out. How you spend your holiday break is up to you.”

“Well, in that case… yes, I think I will.”

“Marvelous.” Evvy smiled. “We’re staying with my parents – I’m sure they’ll love having you. I’ll call them as soon as we get back to the apartment. I cannot wait to see the look on Nonny’s face when we show up with you in tow,” she added, laughing.

* * *

Evvy was not disappointed when they arrived in Ostwick on the appointed day. Mahanon was waiting to pick them up at the airport and as the Rutherfords stepped aside to reveal Cassandra standing there looking smug, his eyes slowly widened.

“Well, happy Wintersend to me,” he said at last, smiling broadly. “My little lady with her clan, _and_ my beautiful wife all at the same time? Whatever I did to deserve this, remind me to keep doing it.” He held out his arms and Cass dropped her luggage in order to avail herself of an embrace.

“You’re always surprising me, I thought I’d return the favor,” she said with a chuckle, then buried her face in his shoulder for a moment. “I’ve missed you, my love.”

“And I you,” he replied softly, taking her hand and pressing a kiss first to the knuckles and then to the palm. After a minute, he looked up. “Oh, I’m sure the rest of you would all like to get a lift to the Trevelyans’, wouldn’t you?”

“No rush,” Cullen said, sounding amused.

When they did finally make their way to the Trevelyan estate, Cass was enthusiastically greeted by Evvy’s parents and was taken on a quick tour of the house by Evvy, Non, and Cole while Cullen got Skye settled in.

“It’s beautiful here,” Cass said, looking around as they strolled. “And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your parents opening up their home to me,” she added to Evvy.

“It’s no trouble at all.” She smiled. “You married my adopted brother, so you’re an honorary Trevelyan too. Oh, and Non – you know you’re welcome to stay here as well. I figure you’d like to stay with your wife rather than alone in your apartment.”

“Ah, yes, much appreciated, little lady. That sounds perfect.” He turned to Cass, looking almost apologetic. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond thrilled you surprised me – but since it was a surprise, I didn’t know to take off of work tomorrow. I can call into the office and…”

“No, no, it’s all right,” she assured him. “I’ll still be here when you get back, don’t worry.”

He smiled. “And after that shift, I’m all yours, Mrs. Lavellan.”

They all spent a companionable evening together in the company of Evvy’s parents, listening to her father’s stories, and the next day Evvy took Cass into town to show her Ostwick firsthand. The plan was to meet Non for dinner later – a sort of double date for the two married couples to enjoy – but Non called in the afternoon, apologizing profusely.

“It’s bedlam here,” he said, “so I’m probably going to be stuck here over the dinner hour. Rain check?”

“Of course, my love,” Cass assured him. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll see you later tonight.”

She hung up. “Why don’t you, Cullen, and your parents go out?” she told Evvy. “I can watch Cole and Skye.”

“Are you sure? My parents can watch the kids and you can join me and Cullen if you’d rather.”

“No, you all go out and catch up, I’ll stay and wait for Non.” She smiled. “I’m just happy to be here, don’t worry about it.”

Everyone agreed to the plan, but Mahanon had still not returned by the time the dinner party broke apart. Cass, electing to wait up for him, took a chair in their guest room and occupied herself by beginning _Swords and Shields_ for probably the tenth time. She didn’t get far, however, before she curled up and fell asleep, her thumb still in the book.

* * *

She was surprised to find sunlight streaming in the window when she next opened her eyes and realized she must have slept through the night in the chair. Groaning, she rubbed her neck and sat up, immediately turning to the bed to see if Non was still asleep. He wasn’t and the bed was pristinely made. _Maker’s breath,_ she thought. _What time is it? Have I been asleep that long?_

She roused herself to take a quick shower to untense her stiff muscles, then made her way downstairs to where Evvy and Cullen were having their morning coffee. It wasn’t as late as she thought, which both relieved her and confused her.

“Morning, Cass,” Cullen greeted her.

“Good morning. Where’s Non?” she asked, peering around, “I didn’t hear him get in last night.”

“He didn’t, as far as we know.” Evvy shook her head. “Cullen and I were just saying someone should maybe call him, but we wanted to wait until you were up, since we thought maybe you’d heard from him more recently.”

Cass shook her head. “I haven’t heard anything from him since yesterday.”

“Maybe you should be the one to call him,” Cullen suggested.

“Good idea.” She pulled out her phone and called, shuffling back and forth as she waited for it to finish ringing. “Voicemail. Hmm.” She hung up and tried again, then waited a few minutes and tried once more, leaving a voicemail before hanging up. She blinked, looking faintly concerned. “Strange… his cell phone is _always_ on. And there’s no answer at his work number either.”

“He could just be away from his desk,” said Cullen. “And maybe he has the ringer on the cell turned off.”

“Maybe.” Cass worried her lip a bit, thinking. “Perhaps I should go to his office myself, see what’s going on. At the very least, I can bring him some coffee and remind him to take a break.”

“Not a bad idea,” said Evvy. “Do keep us in the loop, Cass.”

“I will.”

Within the hour, she had made her way down to Mahanon’s office with a to-go cup of coffee in hand. She was probably concerned over nothing – he was probably just busy. But just in case…

However, the last thing she expected to see when she entered the office was Non at his desk shuffling papers while he carefully bounced _an infant_.

She couldn’t suppress a surprised chuckle at the sight. “Who’s your friend?” she asked jovially as she strode over.

He looked up, his face mirroring her surprise as he looked from her to the infant and back. “Oh, dear heart, hello.” He likewise chuckled faintly. “Yes, I imagine this probably is a vaguely comical sight.”

“Just a bit, yes,” she confirmed. “I hope I’m not interrupting. I tried calling, but…”

“Oh. Oh, Cass, I’m sorry.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his freehand. “I put the phone in a desk drawer and haven’t fished it out.”

“It’s all right. You’ve been busy.” She held up a hand to halt his apology, then set the coffee down and took a seat. “And you’ve had your hands full.” She nodded to the baby.

“I have, at that. We got a call late last night, you see – one of the local business owners was closing up for the night and when he was walking to his car, he found this little guy” - he bounced the infant again - “barely concealed and left on the doorstep of the Chantry like a character in some sort of tragic opera.”

Cassandra gasped. “A child left on a doorstep? In this weather?”

Mahanon nodded grimly. “What’s worse, that Chantry’s been shuttered for five years. He would have died if that man hadn’t found him.”

“Oh, that’s horrible.” Her cheek twitched slightly at the very thought of the whole situation, and she reached across the desk to give the baby’s head a gentle stroke. “Has anyone else come forward to claim him?”

“We’ve made some inquiries, but it’s not looking good. Obviously the parents don’t want him, and if there are no other relatives, it looks like he goes in the system – we have a call in to Child Protective Services.”

Cass cringed a little, evidently thinking of her own childhood. She and her brother Anthony would have easily ended up in the system had their uncle not swooped in to claim them. She didn’t like thinking about how their lives might have turned out had it happened – both the good and the bad possibilities. She visibly shook off the thought and turned her attention back to the boy in Non’s arms. “Any… any idea when they’ll arrive?” she asked.

Non shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. That’s why he’s staying here with me. I’ll be damned if I let him out of my sight.”

“Were you the one who went to fetch him?” she asked.

“Mmhmm. I was the only one left in the office last night. Thank goodness that man found him when he did – I was almost ready to leave.”

Cass was silent for a moment. “Non… have you slept at all?”

He pondered that. “I… uh… well, no, not exactly.”

“I thought as much.” She chuckled. “All right, up with you then. _This_ can wait.” She snatched the paperwork on his desk before he had a chance to use it as an excuse.

“I can’t exactly leave, Cass,” he protested. “Where am I supposed to…?”

“Take a quick nap at your desk or in your car,” she suggested, cutting him off. “Anything to get a little sleep. I’ll watch the boy.”

He hesitated, glancing from the baby to his wife. Cass shook her head. “I have looked after Skye plenty of times. I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, of that, I have no doubt, Mrs. Lavellan,” he said with a laugh. “All right.” He came to where she stood and relinquished the child carefully. “Okay, mate, this is my wife. She’ll take good care of you while I’m gone and I’m sure you’ll like her.”

The baby shifted slightly as he was passed from one set of arms to the other, but quickly settled in. Within a few minutes of Cass gently rocking him, his eyes had shut. Cass and Non watched him sleep for a minute, before Non broke the silence.

“Well, isn’t this quite the cozy domestic scene?” he whispered, smiling faintly. “Makes the mind wander to certain places.”

She rolled her eyes affectionately. “Go on, then, and follow this one’s example.” She gestured with her head to the sleeping baby.

With a slight chuckle, Non did as he was told, pushing two of the chairs together to create a makeshift bed. With Cass’s coat as a pillow and his own coat as a blanket, he soon had fallen asleep.

“I think he was a little bit more exhausted than he let on, wouldn’t you say?” Cass whispered to the dozing little one as she watched her husband fondly for a moment. She had to admit, he wasn’t wrong when he had said the scene had the power to make the mind wander to certain places.

* * *

When Non awoke from his nap and reclaimed the child, Cass, realizing she had skipped breakfast in her haste to get to the office, wandered out into the hallway in search of a vending machine. This was also a good opportunity to keep Cullen and Evvy apprised of the situation as they had requested. So, with food obtained, she sat down on a bench to send Cullen a text. She was light on the details – she wasn’t sure how much she was really allowed to report, after all – but let him know that Non was fine, had his hands full, and that she was going to stay and keep him company.

 _We’re so glad to hear things are all right,_ ran his reply. _And we’re not at all surprised to hear you’re going to stay with him. Try to keep him from working too hard, Ev requests._

 _Maker knows that’s a tall order, but tell her I’ll try,_ Cass texted back with a chuckle, before stowing her phone.

Non was in the middle of a stern phone conversation when she returned. She raised her eyebrows in query, but he simply rolled his eyes, clenching the phone with his dominant hand as if to show how utterly ridiculous this mystery conversation was. Then, after a pause, he gestured with his head to where he was supporting the baby with his other hand. Cass nodded and came to carefully extricate him so Non could raise his voice without fear of startling the little baby John Doe. Cass wandered with him, bouncing him to calm him down, watching her husband as she did so. At last, Mahanon slammed the phone down and rubbed his temples with a groan.

“That sounded fun,” she said after a beat.

“An absolute laugh riot,” he returned, putting on a mocking, sardonic tone as he continued. “Child Protective Services doesn’t know when a social worker can get down here because of the holiday. So it looks like everything is tied up in red tape until then. Which is bloody wonderful – we have to wade through red tape and paperwork to get to more red tape and paperwork, just to send him somewhere I don’t really want him to go in the first place.” His voice was tight with irritation, and he forced himself to take a breath. “The CPS folks aren’t bad people by any stretch of the imagination – I’ve met several of them, I like them. And I know the foster system does good work… but then sometimes I think of situations like the one Cole used to be in…” His tongue jabbed in his cheek.

Cass nodded. “I understand. Truly. So… what do you plan to do until they can send someone for our little friend here?”

“Honestly? I have no clue. It’s not as though any of us can just go waltzing out of here with him while this whole thing is still pending. Short of hounding CPS until they arrive or taking him there myself, I suppose I’m staying with him.”

“Staying with him is a good idea,” she replied. “And I do hope you know if you plan on staying with him, then _I_ plan on staying with _you_.”

A single note of laughter escaped him. “I know better than to argue, not that I’d want to anyway.” He sighed. “Probably not exactly what you had in mind when you made the trip to Ostwick, I should think.”

“No, but then again I came to Ostwick to be with you,” she pointed out. “So as long as I’m doing that, I’m on the right track.”

He smiled, a smile she returned. “Well, in that case, if you’re going to spend the day here with me, what do you say I take a walk down to the Antivan bakery on Third Street and get us breakfast? A granola bar from the vending machine for you and coffee for me is not going to cut it. We can eat in my office.”

“Sounds perfect. Then, when we’re done, _I_ can take a walk to try and find supplies for this one.” She ran her fingertips lightly over the baby’s head.

“It’s a date,” Non replied. 

* * *

This routine continued in a similar manner for the next two days. Cass and Non spent most of that time together – when he wasn’t busy, they caught each other up on the news or had meals together; when he _was_ busy, she looked after their “little friend” in a quiet corner of his office. Sometimes, one of them stayed at the office with the boy while the other went back to the Trevelyans. Non gave Cass the go ahead to share the details of what they were doing with the Rutherfords so they didn’t worry. They thought the whole thing was sweet, of course, but gently pointed out that Wintersend was just two days away.

Things were still unchanged by the time Wintersend night rolled around. The Trevelyans were hosting holiday dinner, and Cass and Non stood in the office that afternoon, wondering if they should bow out of the gathering, when someone cleared their throat. “I can stay with him, Ser.”

Non turned to where the voice came from. “That’s beyond kind of you, Loranil,” he said to the young agent standing before him, “but we can’t ask you to spend your Wintersend at the office when you should –“

“No worries, Ser – my family lives in Orlais anyway, so my plans for the evening were pretty much to order a pizza and watch Netflix.” He chuckled. “I can do both of those things from here and I would much rather do them knowing I was able to help you both. Besides, I watch my neighbor’s boy all the time, I’m old hat at this.”

Cass and Non exchanged a glance, with Cass nodding slightly. “Well, all right then,” Non replied. “Thanks, Loranil. Here…” He thumbed through his wallet. “The pizza’s on me.”

“Oh, thank you, Ser. But I’m happy to do it to help you and your wife.” He accepted the little bundle and with his free hand made a shooing motion, smiling as he did so. “Go on, then, enjoy your night! Don’t worry about a thing here, Ser. Happy Wintersend.”

“Happy Wintersend, Loranil.” With the baby in good hands, they made their way back to the Trevelyans’ at the appointed hour.

“There you are. We were worried you might not be able to make it,” Cullen informed them as he answered the door.

As Non went to greet Evvy and her parents, Cass told Cullen about Loranil’s kind offer. “So that takes care of the holiday. But after that… well, maybe by then we’ll hear back from a social worker…”

He gestured her over to the couch. “I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming,” he said, sitting down.

She sighed and by way of explanation, pulled up a picture on her phone – a selfie of her and Non sitting side by side on the floor with the baby on their laps. “Neither Mahanon nor I are in love with the idea of the boy going into the system.”

Cullen smiled at the picture. “Well, isn’t that a very cozy image?” He chuckled.

“That’s what Non said,” she admitted, turning off the phone’s screen once more. She was silent for a long moment, then sighed again. “I suppose we don’t have much of a choice, but… he’s a good little thing, Cullen.”

“You _may_ have a choice actually.” The corners of Cullen’s lips twitched. “I mean, you sound like me talking about Cole shortly before he started calling me ‘Father,’ after all,” he pointed out.

“Yes, I know. And at the wedding… Non did mention that perhaps we could adopt a child. We’ve talked about it for down the line, of course, but… it seems so soon. And yet, I can’t help think that circumstances have lined up so perfectly right now.”

“I tend to agree, based on everything you’ve told me.” Cullen nodded. “Maybe the Maker put everything in place for you both.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Cass replied, smiling slightly.

* * *

The rest of the evening was a haze of gifts and food, although both Cass and Non checked their phones repeatedly to make sure Loranil hadn’t tried to contact them. She noticed the look Cullen sent her way on one such occasion and made a noise that was not nearly as disgusted as her usual trademark noise, rolling her eyes playfully. He wasn’t wrong in his assessment, however, and she well knew it.

When the group began to disperse for the evening, she drifted over to where Non stood and slipped her hand into his. “Thinking about our little friend?” she asked.

He nodded. “Are you?”

She returned his nod. “All night,” she admitted. “My love… perhaps we should discuss some things. Come with me.”

She led him upstairs and sat on the edge of the bed while he took the chair. “I think I should just come right out and say it…” she began. “Neither of us really wants to see that little boy get put into foster care. And we’ve both spent a lot of time with him over the past several days. So I was just thinking that maybe we should… not send him there.”

“You mean adopt him.” Mahanon nodded slowly. “The same thought has crossed my mind once or twice. Or more than once or twice, if I’m being honest.”

“Mine too,” she admitted. “It all feels… very right. Like it was meant to happen this way. We’ve talked about adopting, maybe now is the time and this the child. In so many ways, he already feels like ours.”

Non smiled. “He really does, doesn’t he?” He chuckled, then turned a touch serious. “Nothing is guaranteed, of course, and the process would probably take a few weeks to make it official. But we could certainly try. And I don’t see why they would have any grounds to deny us. Is… is that what you want?”

“Yes, I rather think it is. And you?”

He nodded again. “I can’t picture him going to anyone else, to be honest.”

“And… you think we have a chance?” Cass asked cautiously.

“Nothing is certain,” he reiterated, “but… yes, I do. I think there’s a very good chance he could be… our son.”

At those words, a luminous smile spread across Cassandra’s face. “What a marvelous thought.”

He settled in beside her on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around her. “Not to put the cart before the horse, of course, but… if he does become our son, he needs a name. I was thinking… we could name him after your brother.”

Although she wouldn’t have thought such a thing possible, her smile widened. “I would like that. I would like that very much.”

“Well then… if he’s ours… ah, no, positive thinking – _when_ he’s ours – Anthony Lavellan it is then.” He chuckled. “I’ll repeat what I said a few days ago – probably not what you expected when you came to Ostwick.”

She laughed in reply. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” she assured him, leaning in to kiss him. “Happy Wintersend, my love.”

“Happy Wintersend, Lady Cassandra,” he said and returned her kiss.


	2. The Review Saga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing Jim is expecting on the eve of his eighteenth birthday is to be dealing with an internet troll. But in a bizarre and slightly hilarious saga - which he explains to Rory the next morning - he has some help from the staff of the "best school ever".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your sweet comments on the last chapter! This chapter is short, but hopefully enjoyable. Also, if you're wondering if this was inspired by true events, let me just say - not all esteemed defenders work in castles or come from video game franchises. Sometimes they're just cool people who hang out on Tumblr and AO3. You all know who you are. ;)

* * *

**The Review Saga**

* * *

Wintersend had come and gone, seeing the Rutherfords returned to Skyhold and the school preparing for midterms. Cassandra opted to remain in Ostwick for a little while longer to help Mahanon care for their hopefully-soon-to-be son, so Hawke was covering her classes until she returned, which was predicted to be in a few days.

Meanwhile, as classes geared up once more, the Partners in Crime were preparing for an event of their own – Jim’s eighteenth birthday. Seeing as he was the first among their little trio to officially become an adult, it was kind of a big deal in their eyes, and plans were already hatched for a visit into Redcliffe once classes were over. But in the meantime, there was a more pressing matter at hand.

As the morning began, Rory rolled over only because the sunlight streaming through the window demanded she do so. Groaning, she sat up, stretched, and reached for her phone. “Hmm. That’s a lot of texts. And emails. And... notifications? Maker’s breath, what even is all this?”

The texts were from Jim, and they were a little… dramatic. _Rors, when you wake up you’re going to find a bunch of reviews in your inbox on that period piece we wrote. Don’t open them - and whatever you do, DON’T open the YouTube link. I’ll explain everything when I wake up… it’s been a long night._

Immediately, her eyebrows shot up. _Okay, Jimmy, I’m awake. What happened?_ she texted back at once.

_Hang on, let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up. We got a bunch of really weird reviews complaining that we didn’t do enough research on pregnancy and that the relationship between the leads wasn’t realistic for the setting. I tried to explain that we weren’t going for realism, that this was just us having fun, but the reviewer then showed the story to a friend of theirs… who made a lengthy video on YouTube basically calling us idiots._

She stared at her phone screen in some disbelief. _You’re kidding me,_ she replied after a moment. _And all this happened after I went to bed last night? Have you slept at all??_

 _About two hours. Like I said, it was a long night. But don’t worry, everything’s been taken care of - you can delete the notifs if you want._ There was a pause. _Meet me downstairs in ten. I feel like you need to know everything that happened and it’s way too much to text._

 _I’ll be there, Jimmy. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. Expect a big hug from me when I get down._ She tossed the phone on the bed and set about getting dressed. Within the requested ten minutes, she had jogged down the stairs as quickly as she could without tripping.

“Hey, Rors.” A very tired-looking Jim accepted the hug she had promised. “This was not the way I intended to start my birthday, but now that it’s over it’s honestly kind of hilarious.”

“It… really kind of is.” She pulled back and studied him. “But the fact that you had to deal with this without me on your _birthday_ of all days makes me want to punch someone in the face.”

“Well, I had to deal with it without you,” he conceded, “but I wasn’t dealing with it _alone_. Which is part of what makes it hilarious. You ready for the epic, extended edition saga of The Night Jimmy Turned Eighteen?”

She lifted an eyebrow. “All right, well, you definitely have my interest piqued now. Let’s find a quiet spot and you can regale me with the whole tale.” 

* * *

They made their way to the inner courtyard, and took a bench near the door to the chapel. It was fairly empty, so they were unlikely to be overheard much. “All right, well, I got the first review in my inbox just as I was about to go to bed,” Jim began. “This person – their username was something or other with an E, doesn’t matter – made it all the way to chapter 32 before deigning to comment, but then they decided that they needed to fuss at us for not doing research on the pregnancy. The story wasn’t realistic, they said. So I replied, very politely I thought, that we weren’t really striving for realism because it was just meant to be a big pile of fluff, and I thanked them for reading and said that I was sorry they didn’t enjoy it more. I assumed that would be the end of it.”

“Really? They read 32 chapters and the only unrealistic thing in their eyes was the pregnancy? Given the fact that we’re teenagers on the asexual spectrum taking a crack at period romance, I think we didn’t do half bad. Anyway, continue. What happened then?”

“Well, I continued getting ready for bed and then another review came in. Same person. Same chapter. Same viewpoint. Longer review. Starts telling me resources and how we _need_ to do research and it’s _important_ that we get a woman’s symptoms right and also that there’s no way Her Ladyship could know she’s pregnant already, even though that chapter’s set in December and we pretty heavily implied that she got pregnant on the vacation in October. You know me, when I get tired I get a bit testy and I was pretty damn tired.” He grimaced. “So I replied, more terse but still polite I thought, that they might not know it but there’s an unwritten fandom rule that you don’t give constructive criticism unless the author has explicitly said they’re open to it. Which we have not. I said that we weren’t going for realism, we were striving for something more like a fairy tale, and that ultimately all we were really doing was playing with words.” Jim shook his head. “And silly me, I thought _that_ would be the end of it.”

Rory jutted her lip out in a pout. “Mm, my poor bestie. This is seriously the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard and it’s not even over. So where did the video come from? What even?”

“An excellent question. So E-whoever didn’t reply to my second comment, but I was feeling kind of twitchy about it. I wasn’t gonna get to sleep that way.” Jim struggled with general anxiety disorder. “I needed to talk to somebody, so I turned the computer back on and signed into the school’s chat program. Nessa was still up and I asked her to look at the reviews and tell me if she thought I was overreacting. You know our Ness, of course she said _no way_. She was actually pretty angry - she understands how fandom works and she said this person was being rude. That made me feel better, so I was going to try to sleep again. But _then..._  ding! Another email!” He paused to take a bottle of water out of his bag and drink deeply.

“Literally I want to hurt whoever hurt you. Who do I need to punch? I will get a step ladder and hit them right in the face.”

He chuckled. “Honestly, the thing that was bothering me most was the idea that you were going to wake up and see all this and maybe be more upset than I was. Nessa had gone to bed, but I opened the new email and it was from the same person. ‘These aren’t my remarks, I already made my critique. But my friend who doesn’t have an AO3 account read your story and made a video review. Don’t shoot the messenger.’ And there was a link to a YouTube video. Now, _I know I shouldn’t have looked_ , but at that point there was just no backing down, so I clicked.” He shook his head again. “The video was literally titled ‘Constructive Criticism for Jimquisition and LadyAuroraB.’ That’s when I knew for sure that this was going to be bad.”

“Holy Maker and Andraste.” Rory blinked a few times, then smiled slightly. “Well, I guess that means we’ve arrived on the writing scene at the very least - we’re getting called out by name. Go us.”

“Indeed. So, for a lark, I decided to listen to what this person had to say.” Jim smirked, although there was some pain lingering in the expression. “Rors, it was the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. He had chapter 32 displayed up on the screen, and then he was in this little box up in the corner - I guess it’s a Let’s Play format, but I’m used to the way the Dread Wolf does it where you can’t see him at all. Anyway, he started talking… he sounded exactly like you would expect a stereotypical dudebro mansplainer to sound. Like you could totally imagine him wearing a fedora and talking about being friendzoned because nice guys like him just never get the girl. And he just sat there and droned on about how _we don’t know what wordplay is._ ”

“Hang on, just a second.” She covered her mouth to muffle the fact that she was laughing. “I’m sorry, I still want to punch this guy in the face because no one hurts my bestie, but honestly...  _we don’t know what wordplay is_.” She laughed again, harder this time, then took a breath. “Oh, Maker. Honestly, Jim, we should be hella proud. We ticked off a dudebro. Well done us.”

“And you did it in your sleep,” he teased. “I don’t even know what all he said. I had to shut off the video after about thirty seconds because I hated his voice so much - he could have been reading Shakespeare and I wouldn’t have wanted to listen. But like I said, the thing that upset me the most was the idea that you were going to wake up and open your email like you do and see all of this and be hurt by it. That’s what was making me mad. I was so mad I was _vibrating_ , you know what I mean?”

“I do. Aww, Jimmy.” She gripped his shoulders in a half hug. “The thing that makes me mad is the idea of you having to deal with it and you’re mad because you didn’t want me to see it. We’re fabulous and I adore you. Anyway, so what did you do then? There’s no way you went to bed after that. Did you like wander around the castle or what?”

“Nope, I was up for good. I made a snippy reply to the comment with the link, telling E-whoever to tell her pretentious friend to jump in a lake and by the way, thanks for the epic and bizarre birthday gift. Then I got back on the school server. And as luck would have it, one Cremisius Aclassi was still signed in.” Jim smirked a little. “So I messaged him and asked him to take a look at what I was dealing with, could he offer any advice?”

“Andraste’s flaming skirts, you’re kidding.” Rory’s eyes widened. “So... like...” She gestured inarticulately. “What? What’d he say?”

“He was actually angrier than I was. His exact words were ‘Oh _hell no_.’ And then he told me to hang on a minute, and he got all quiet.” Jim grinned. “And _then_ I got invited into the staff chatroom.”

“No. Way. Literally no actual way. Maker’s breath!” She put both of her hands on her cheeks. “What’s the staff chatroom like?!”

“Full of teachers, of course. It looks just like any other chatroom but only the teachers and their partners use it. It’s nice because it lets them chat even when some of them aren’t here, like Mr. Hawke is in there sometimes and stuff.” He shrugged. “Anyway, they told me it was a one-time thing, but that I should tell them what I told Krem and give them the links. So I did.”

“Andraste preserve me, what?! They all saw this whole exchange? Professor Pavus and Professor Tethras and the Rutherfords?! What’d they say?”

“No, not the Rutherfords. I don’t think the teachers actually read the story, don’t worry - they read the comments and watched the video. It was Coach Bull and Professors Pavus and Tethras and Pentaghast, I guess everyone else was asleep. Oh, and Ms. Hawke came in during the whole thing, maybe Professor T texted her or something. They were mad as hornets. Told me to open an abuse report with AO3, and meanwhile they’d deal with the video - they had Krem calling the Chargers to sign on and report the video as abusive and bullying, and they were each reporting it, and Krem was actually arguing with the dudebro in the YouTube comments about how completely stupid his points were. Apparently in the video he complained about our paragraph formatting and other stuff like that.”

“Whoa. Just... whoa. I... wow. Like... I cannot words.” She leaned on her hand. “In case you couldn’t tell, the very thought of this overwhelms me just slightly. We have so many defenders. I bet that poor little dudebro didn’t know what hit him.”

“Right? It was the living personification of ‘get wrecked, son.’ Actually, I think Coach may have said that at one point. I took screenshots of the whole thing,” he added, “and I’ll email them to you. Basically, Professor Pavus was indignant that anyone was criticizing his precious Rory, and Professor Tethras was mad that the dudebro obviously hadn’t read any of our story except that chapter and ‘wouldn’t know good writing if it bit him in the face, which it clearly looks like something did at some point.’ Professor Pentaghast was mostly offended by the existence of the video. ‘A five-minute diatribe about a harmless story which hurts no one and has entertained many? Who _does_ that?’ It was pretty epic.”

“Glorious Maker and Andraste, Jim, leave me here to die of my many feels. Have my tombstone read ‘Here lies Aurora Brona Norbertson. She once pissed off a dudebro in her sleep and she died because her teachers, her boyfriend, and her bestie were too amazing.’ Please and thank you.”

Jim laughed. “I got screenshots of Krem’s amazing defense on YouTube, too. He should have been on the debate team with Nessa when he was a student, honestly. His points were valid and the dudebro couldn’t keep up. So then, all of a sudden, he starts laughing in the chat. ‘Look at this,’ he says, ‘he changed the title and description of the video.’ And he posts a screenshot - the title of the video had been changed to ‘Commenters Can’t Handle It,’ and the description talked about how the comments had gotten too fired up and people obviously didn’t understand that it was all just a comedy stunt.”

“A comedy stunt!” She clapped her hands together, and started laughing all over again. “Oh, Maker, Jimmy, one day they’re going to make a movie about our lives because honestly how does this even happen? Life is so weird.”

“I know, it was hilarious. Not so hilarious was the comment where dudebro said I was dense and ‘suddenly went all bipolar.’ Krem really let him have it for that one,” he added. “He told him that first, mental illness is not a character defect and should never be used as an insult, and second, he was getting his ass reported for his comments as well as his video. Your boyfriend is pretty awesome.”

“Maker, don’t I know it.” She sighed dreamily. “What a darling. However, that ‘bipolar’ comment really irritates me. Dudebro’s lucky I wasn’t around for this, I would have brought hell with me for that one.” She shook her head. “I’m thrilled Krem was there for you. So what happened then?”

“It went on for a few more minutes, with messages coming in from the Chargers and the other teachers that they had reported the video too,” said Jim. “Professor Tethras and Professor Pavus were having a bit of a grand time - while Krem feuded with the dudebro, they wrote up some additional comments. Professor T critiqued the contents of the video, and Professor Pavus critiqued that E-whoever person’s only existing fanfic. Oh, I didn’t tell you that part!” He laughed. “She’s definitely a she, by the way, she was also commenting on the video and saying _she_ knows how important the researching pregnancy thing is because _she’s_ pregnant. Anyway, get this - she has exactly one fanfic to her name. Remember how she said our story was unrealistic? Well, her one and only story features an Antivan girl named _Sansa_ \- you know, like from _Game of Thrones_ \- who falls into Skyrim and helps the Dragonborn and ends up marrying Jarl Balgruuf. Because _that’s_ realistic!” He started laughing, slightly hysterical from lack of sleep.

Rory giggled and gripped her best friend’s shoulder. “That’s just too funny. I mean, I’m all about people writing whatever they want to write, but like, glass houses and all that. Also, I’d kind of low-key give an arm to hear what Professor Pavus had to say about that fanfic, not gonna lie.”

“His comment and Professor T’s were both deleted within, like, nanoseconds of being posted. But don’t worry, they shared them with the chatroom so they’re in the screenshots,” he promised. “Anyway, a few more minutes went by, Krem said dudebro was signing off for the night, and all of a sudden he announced that the video was gone. If you click the link now, it has that weird frowny-computer-face thing YouTube does and a message saying that the video was removed by the user. The teachers said that either he gave up trying to fight everyone at once and pulled it of his own volition, or YouTube made him pull it because they got so many abuse reports in such a short span. Kind of a ‘remove _it_ or we’ll remove _you_ ’ thing.”

She gasped. “So it’s gone? They got it taken down? Oh, Maker, this really quite literally is the best school _ever_! Oh, that’s so epic.”

“Yep!” Jim grinned. “I didn’t delete the comments off of our story yet, because of the abuse report - the staff probably needs to see them. I don’t know if there’s anything they can do, since most of the bullying really happened on YouTube and not their site, but if she makes a habit of this sort of thing it might help them recognize a pattern or something. Anyway! Thus ends the thrilling saga. See what you miss when you do things like sleep?”

“Wow, seriously. I need to learn to sleep less - I miss all the crazy stuff. I think this is the story I’m going to tell if I ever get on _Jeopardy_.” She laughed, then sobered. “In all seriousness, I’m sorry that happened, Jim - especially today of all days. Other than being insanely tired, you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine, Rors. I got a couple hours of sleep, I’ll be okay. Might call it an early night tonight, but not before there’s cake.” He chuckled. “But yeah. Now you know. You can delete all those notifs from your email unread, or you can read them if you’re morbidly curious.”

“I’m really not. They were in the trash folder before I even brushed my hair. Seriously though, our lives are so weird. Thank the Maker for Krem and the teachers - really, I think the thing I’m taking away from this is that we’re truly blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people.”

“I’ll drink to that. Speaking of which, I think breakfast is absolutely in order.” He yawned. “And I’m sure you want to find Assistant Coach Fantastic and thank him for his heroism.”

“I really, really do.” She grinned. “So both of these things sound like excellent plans. Come on, let’s go.”

“On your six, bestie.”


	3. Operation: Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the teachers need a break from grading midterms, Varric decides Wicked Grace and stories are just what the doctor ordered. His own contribution to the evening is a tale about a certain caper at a certain Chateau - and everything that went along with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, this is a modern slant on the Dragon Age II DLC "Mark of the Assassin". You'll notice there are some major differences at times between this chapter and MOTA in order to have everything make sense for the Skyhold Academy Yearbook setting. But hopefully it's still fun. ;)
> 
> P.S. Lady Norbert here - I just wanted to point out that AB wrote this installment pretty much all on her own. It was my birthday present. I’m so proud. ^_^

 

* * *

**Operation: Heart**

* * *

With Wintersend over, online trolls defeated, and Cassandra returned to Skyhold, things settled down quite a bit over the next few weeks. Soon, the castle was in an unusual state of quiet that could only mean one thing – midterms were being graded, and most of the teachers were holed up in their offices. Only a few sat in the staff room, some drinking a little coffee to keep up their energy, while others, like Dorian and Varric, were installed in the corner of the room to partake in a little change of scenery. With a groan, Dorian sat up from where he had been hunched over the table.

“All right, I give up,” he declared, throwing his pen down and stretching his spine. “I need a break. Care to play a game of cards when we’re done here, Varric?”

The creative writing professor peered at him over the top of his glasses. “Not if it’s with your crazy Tevinter rules,” he said.

“Now, now, nobody ever died from those.” Dorian smirked. “Lately.”

“All the same, I think I’ll stick with the classics.” Varric shuffled a few of the graded papers in his hands. “Although, come to think of it, it has been a while since we all sat down for a game. We never did really get a regular thing going after that time Curly bet his clothes.”

Dorian chuckled. “True. Perhaps we can even assemble the same cast of characters. It might be a nice break from the monotony of grading. Think we can convince everyone?”

“We can certainly try.”

* * *

The plan was enthusiastically embraced by everyone – even Cullen, who agreed on the strict understanding that he was not betting anything other than money (Cass had already made them promise they wouldn’t let him). And so, at exactly eight o’clock that evening, the previous players were present once again, with the addition of Hawke and Michel, and set up in the staff room for a few hands of Wicked Grace.

Josephine hadn’t lost her touch and was cleaning up like usual, but the game was friendly, the betting none too rich, and the drinks – courtesy of Michel, who felt it only right he supply the wine as the newcomer to game – were excellent. Just like the previous time, they eventually found themselves turning to stories. Blackwall had more than his share of dramatic wilderness tales and Michel contributed a few of courtly intrigue from his time in the Imperial Court of Orlais. All the talk of Orlesian nobles reminded the resident storyteller of a tale of his own.

“Oh, did I ever tell you about the time we broke into Chateau Haine?” he asked, his eyes lighting up. He glanced over at Hawke, who immediately gave a snorting sort of laugh. “It started, as most capers do, with a trap…”

“It started, as most capers do, on Facebook,” Hawke corrected with a grin.

“No one likes a backseat storyteller, Hawke,” Varric replied, heaving a put-upon sigh that didn’t fool any of them. “But I suppose you’re right.” He cleared his throat and, relenting, started again. “It started, as most capers do, on Facebook.”

* * *

_It had been a tense few months in Kirkwall to say the least; Hawke couldn’t remember the last time she had had a decent night’s sleep. But Danarius – the man who had been funding the Kirkwall gangs for so long – had finally been brought to heel, his efforts rewarded with a sentence of life in prison with no chance of parole. With the backs of the gangs broken, clearing the streets felt like light housekeeping compared to what it had been. For her part in the whole thing, Hawke had been declared the Champion of Kirkwall, a title that, while flattering, she felt should have been equally distributed. After all, the others had done just as much as she had._

_At least she could finally begin to breathe easier again, although there were times that felt like a hollow victory. Fenris, who had returned to Kirkwall for the trial, was back on the road again, and although he and Hawke spoke frequently, nothing compared to seeing him in person. Bethany, in her final semester at university, was so busy that Hawke hadn’t actually seen her face in months, except for Danarius’s trial, which was hardly the world’s most relaxing reunion. In addition to finishing her classes, the younger Hawke had apparently also started some community service work with a few of the local kids in Darktown – her school had a program where some of the older students could become mentors to underprivileged kids. Bethany adored the work (and had quickly become a sort of group leader, last Hawke had heard), but it added to the general sense of the poor girl running around like a headless chicken. So without them there in person, Hawke found she took a lot of solace in the group chat the Kirkwall crew had on Facebook - all except Varric, who refused to make an account. But she knew that the writer, who often complained it was less “sunny” with Bethany gone, appreciated everything she shared with him perhaps even more than she appreciated seeing it._

_One particular Friday afternoon, Hawke sat alone in the mansion and logged onto the social media platform. Noting her favorite “broody boy” was online, she immediately opened the chat._

**_I’m glad I could catch you, Fenris,_ ** _she typed. **Did you get the gift I sent you?** Shortly after Danarius’s trial, Hawke had sent Fenris a little gift of gratitude – a tie clip, bearing the Amell crest._

_The dancer’s response was quick and flawless, evident of how far his reading had come in such a short time. **I did, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me, that you would give me a gift with your mother’s crest on it.**_

**_You’re family, that’s all there is to it._ **

**_Thank you, Hawke. Truly._ ** _The simple words managed to convey so much warmth and affection. **So, tell me what’s been going on lately. How are you? How are things in Kirkwall?**_

 **_Quieter,_ ** _she said. **But I still haven’t relinquished my gun or my bulletproof vest.**_

**_Good. The thought of that will help me sleep better at night. And how’s Bethany? Now that the worst of the gangs are gone, is she staying in Kirkwall to finish her degree?_ **

**_Yes. Varric and I considered sending her off for the last semester, but we never brought it up. It’s not like she would have gone anyway – my sister’s stubborn like that – so we got lucky that it wasn’t necessary._ **

**_I think stubbornness might be a trademark of the Hawke women,_ ** _he teased._

_Hawke laughed as she typed her response. **You’re not wrong.** It was at that moment she paused, surprised to see her sister had just logged on as well. Immediately, she typed a different response. **And speaking of my sister, there she is! Maker, I nearly forgot I had a sister. How are you, Bethy?**_

_It took a few minutes, but at last Bethany responded. **I know, I’m terribly sorry. I’ve been running around like a madwoman. How are you both? It’s been too long.**_

**_Glad to hear from you, Bethany,_ ** _said Fenris. **So, you’re down to the final push. How does it feel?**_

 **_Exhausting,_ ** _said Bethany. **Between the classes and the volunteer work, I don’t know what I was thinking. I suppose I thought I’d be an overachiever or some such. And I love the work – the kids are marvelous – but I’m ready to drop soon.**_

 **_It will all be worth it,_ ** _her sister assured her. **And I’m sure you’re great at it.**_

**_Thank you, sister, that means a lot. Graduation seems so close and yet so far away, and I’m sure they’ll come up with all sorts of new and creative things to keep me busy in the meantime. Like field trips for the kids and Orlesian fashion shows._ **

**_An Orlesian fashion show? You should wear one of those Orlesian dresses, Bethany,_ ** _Fenris suggested. **I know you love them.**_

 **_And it would look pretty on you,_ ** _Hawke added._

**_If only. Imagine the snags I’d get chasing the kids around._ **

**_Why does fashion not consider the needs of the woman on the go?_ ** _Fenris teased._

 **_All right, don’t work it too hard,_ ** _Bethany replied, and the laughter was evident even without an emoji._

 _Hawke laughed too_. **_Oh, how I’ve missed you both. Listen, Beth,_** **_I know this is impossible, but try not to run yourself into the ground these next few weeks. You actually have to live through to graduation to make it all worthwhile._**

**_I’ll try my best. I’m looking forward to seeing you there, sis._ **

**_Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Bethy. Oh, by the way, make sure you text Varric at some point, he misses you and I know you miss him too._ **

_The three of them continued to chat for a little while back and forth. Bethany, understandably, had to bow out in short order, but she promised she would get in touch again as soon as she possibly could. Once Fenris had also bowed out, Hawke went back to scrolling aimlessly, feeling her spirits slightly lifted by the little conversation. All she wanted was for all of them to be back in the same room again, but at least this was a start._

_But she was surprised out of her cyber wandering by perhaps the last post she was expecting to see cross her Facebook wall – an invitation to a soiree that was being hosted by Duke Prosper de Montfort at Chateau Haine in the Vimmark Mountains. One eyebrow inched up slowly as she read the particulars and she immediately texted Varric with a screenshot of the post._

_**What do you think?** she asked. _ _**Is this legit or are we being catfished?** _

**_Knowing us? Yeah, it’s probably some sort of trap,_ ** _Varric replied. **Even the internet wants us dead. Maybe I’ll run it by some contacts, see if anyone knows about this beyond the veil of Facebook. I’ll text you as soon as I can.**_

**_Good. I’m not usually one for parties – particularly Orlesian parties – but I hear they make excellent cheese. And I need to get out of this house before I go insane._ **

* * *

_Within a few days, Varric had heard from one of his underworld associates – a hacker by the name of Edge – who seemed to think the message was legitimate. However, he also advised caution, claiming that the dark web seemed to be talking a lot about Chateau Haine lately. So Hawke couldn’t say she was entirely surprised, as they walked through Hightown that day to head to the train station, that someone seemed to be following them._

_“Varric,” she said casually, “I think we may have company.”_

_“What else is new?” he replied._

_Hawke’s fingers curled instinctively around the grip of the gun clipped to her belt, but she had gone this long only having to kill one man, and she would prefer it remain that way. “May I help you, serah?” she said, turning to face their pursuer with an empty hand instead._

_“The Champion of Kirkwall…” said the man, in a tone more like a statement than a question._

_“The title is still fairly new,” she said, glancing down at where the man had obviously concealed his own weapon._

_The stranger’s lips twitched as he drew it, a few other men emerging from the shadows to join him. “You die today.”_

_Hawke and Varric had faced worse than this lot on several occasions, and Hawke was just calculating the best way to knock the gun out of his hand, when his cry startled her. The man stumbled, falling to the ground in a mass of twitching and writhing; it took Hawke a moment to see the two wired electrodes that had connected to his chest, which trailed back to a taser being gripped by a redheaded woman she had never seen before. “Well?” said the woman. “What are you waiting for?”_

_Whether that was addressed to Hawke and Varric or the dumbfounded assailants, Hawke wasn’t sure. All she knew was that the other men were caught so off-guard by the fall of their leader that dispatching them was no problem. She and Varric managed to knock two out cold, while the woman, brandishing a second taser, made short work of the third. When the quick skirmish was over, she surveyed the incapacitated men._

_“Sloppy,” she tsked at them, then looked up at Hawke and Varric. “It’s nice to meet you, Champion. You_ are _the Champion of Kirkwall, yes?”_

_“I am. ‘The Only One in Kirkwall Not Completely Insane’ was considered too, but ‘Champion’ fits better on business cards,” Hawke joked._

_The woman chuckled. “I bet it does. Anyway, I heard you like to take the bad guys down non-lethally, so I left the big toys at home and brought along the kid gloves.” She set about replacing the charges in the tasers as she spoke. “This is Kathryn,” she remarked, nodding to the taser in her right hand. She then indicated the one in her left, pretending to blow some imaginary smoke from its barrel. “And this is Thane.”_

_Hawke watched her for a moment. “Impressive. Well, now that we’ve been introduced to your weapons, might we perhaps be introduced to you?”_

_“Naturally. My name is Tallis,” said the woman, giving a little curtsey. “_ Agent _Tallis. And I’ve been looking for you.”_

_“And might we see some ID, Agent?”_

_“Of course.” Tallis flashed them a badge for the Thedosian Federal Bureau of Investigation, pausing as they both studied it. “You can call around if you don’t believe me.”_

_Hawke shook her head. “Maybe later. For now, might I inquire as to why you were following us too? I’m guessing you weren’t out for a stroll and happened upon us.”_

_“No. Let’s just say your friend Edge isn’t the only one with eyes on the dark web,” she said, glancing between Varric and Hawke. “I specialize in art fraud – recovering antiquities and priceless artifacts, things like that. I’m looking to relieve Duke Prosper of something he has no right to possess. With your reputation, Champion, I was hoping I could count on your assistance.”_

_“You mean steal from him?” said Hawke. “What makes you think I’m a thief?”_

_“I’m not saying you are,” Tallis assured her with a chuckle. “I just hear that you get things done and I’m hoping that’s true. The Duke has a jewel, you see, and I’ve been tasked with getting it back. If you’d like to join me, the train tickets are on me – I can explain everything on the way there.”_

_She began to walk off, seemingly very confident they would follow, while Varric and Hawke took a moment to stare at each other in confusion._

_“Today seems to be ‘take a lot on good faith day’, doesn’t it?” said Varric. “Think we should agree?”_

_“Well, we were going to go anyway. Besides, I’ve always wanted to steal a priceless artifact. It sounds very Indiana Jones.”_

* * *

_Soon after, they were all securely inside a train compartment bound for the Vimmark Mountains as Tallis explained her mission to them in a hushed tone._

_Chateau Haine, it was generally known, was a fortress back in the day and now was home to a museum. According to Tallis, the jewel she was after – “the Heart of the Many” – had been acquired for the museum illegally. “It’s a fine museum,” she said. “They just don’t know what this jewel truly is and they have no right to possess it. One who wishes to walk on water must first learn to swim, after all.”_

_Hawke shrugged and listened as Tallis explained how nigh impregnable the museum’s vault was. Nothing they couldn’t handle._

_The train pulled into the station a little while later and they made their way to the Chateau. The promised party was arrayed in the garden, where Duke Prosper was animatedly greeting his guests. When he caught sight of Hawke, however, he stopped what he was doing and made his way over to her._

_“The Champion of Kirkwall!” he said in that signature tone of somewhat false Orlesian effusiveness. “I don’t know if you remember me, Messere Hawke, but I sat next to you at the dinner celebrating your new title.”_

_“Of course I remember you,” she said, inclining her head. “It was such a pleasure.”_

_The first part of that statement was true; the second part was perhaps the boldest boldfaced lie Marian Hawke had ever told in her life – she remembered the Duke primarily because she spent half that dinner listening to him drone on about the supposed wyvern hunts Orlesians used to have in bygone eras (while texting Fenris underneath the table, begging for him to come put her out of her misery)._

_But the Duke seemed pleased by her statement. “I must say, I didn’t really expect you to come, but I’m gratified you accepted the invitation. After all, any soiree is better with two Amells. Or Hawkes, I suppose it is.”_

_“Two?” Hawke lifted an eyebrow. “Do I have a double somewhere I don’t know about?” They followed the direction of the Duke’s gaze, and to say they were shocked by what they saw was an understatement. “Bethy?” Hawke exclaimed._

_Next to her, Varric’s mouth had opened slightly, his lips quickly curling into a smile. “Milady Sunshine.”_

_Bethany looked over at the sound of their voices and gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth. “Maker and Andraste!” she cried, hurrying over to embrace them both. “Talk about a small world! What are you two doing here?”_

_“I was about to ask you the same question,” said Hawke, squeezing her baby sister’s shoulder affectionately._

_“Didn’t I mention the Orlesian fashion show?”_

_“Well, you did, but you failed to mention_ where _that Orlesian fashion show was actually taking place,” Hawke pointed out with a laugh._

_“Oh. Oh, I did rather, didn’t I?” Bethany pondered that for a moment, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I…”_

_“It’s all right, Sunshine,” Varric said warmly. He looked brighter than he had in days. “You’ve been busy lately, and probably very tired. It just slipped your mind. Besides, it gave us a nice surprise.”_

_“I suppose that’s true.” She smiled. “And I didn’t really know all the details when last we spoke. I mean, I just assumed we were staying put or going to a market if we went anywhere – the goal of the whole fashion show is to display things we made in class, and where better than a marketplace, after all? But with the Duke throwing this party, it seemed the perfect opportunity. Plus, the school wanted to take the Darktown kids on a field trip, so they brought them here to see the Chateau’s museum. Two birds, one stone.”_

_“Coming to an Orlesian estate for several days for class sounds right up your street anyway,” said Hawke._

_“Yes, but you should see the mountain of work I brought with me for the other classes I’ll miss while I’m gone.” Bethany rolled her eyes._

_“Ah, don’t think about that right now,” said Varric. “For now, just enjoy yourself. The day is young, the weather’s nice, and I hear they have ham here that tastes like despair.”_

_Bethany laughed, then turned to face Tallis, who had watched the reunion in silence up to that point. Hawke caught the look. “Oh, where are my manners? Bethany, this is Tallis, she’s an agent with the FBI. Tallis, this is my little sister, Bethany.”_

_“A pleasure,” said Tallis with another slight curtsey._

_“Likewise,” said Bethany. “You’re an FBI agent? How exciting.”_

_Tallis looked apprehensive for a moment. It was Hawke who spoke. “You can trust my sister as you’d trust me, Tallis,” she said._

_After a moment considering this, Tallis nodded. “Yes, I’m an agent. And I’m here on business. But this might not be the best place to discuss it…” Her eyes wandered over to where the Duke was still standing nearby, greeting other guests._

_They made their way through the party, arriving at a quiet corner of the garden in order to speak more privately. Tallis gave Bethany a few cagey details before making a hasty excuse about finding her way into the Chateau. While she was gone, Varric and Hawke filled in the gaps she’d left in the story._

_The younger Hawke seemed a little disquieted by the whole notion. “Are you sure we should be doing this?” she asked. “I mean, it’s stealing.”_

_“Stealing from Orlesians is never wrong,” Varric replied. “Or so I’m told.”_

_“And besides, we’re not stealing; we’re returning the jewel to its rightful owner,” Hawke added._

_“I just pray Tallis doesn’t cause an incident,” said Bethany. “There are children here. Children I should probably be chaperoning, in fact.” She craned her neck. “Although there are enough other chaperones here, I’m sure they’ll be fine for a little while.”_

_Tallis returned a few minutes later, looking extremely perturbed. “I had a quick look around,” she reported. “I’ll give the Duke this much, he’s hired plenty of security for this event. But there is a weak point – one door that no one seems to be paying attention to.”_

_“And?” Hawke urged._

_“I can’t get it open!” Tallis huffed in frustration. “And believe me, I tried. Bent a nice set of lockpicks in that stupid door,” she grumbled. “I suppose we’ll just have to find someone with a key.”_

_“We shouldn’t all go together,” said Bethany. “These snooty nobles will make a scene. Also, as I mentioned before, I should at least make a run at chaperoning and doing some of the things I need to do for class.”_

_Both Hawke and Varric chuckled. “Why don’t Tallis and I go gather some information?” Hawke suggested. “You and Varric can enjoy the party while we’re gone.”_

_“Just be careful, sister, all right?”_

_“I’ll certainly try,” Hawke promised. “Varric, take care of Bethany?”_

_“Of course, Hawke.”_

_“And Bethany, do the same for Varric, yes?”_

_Bethany giggled. “Always.”_

_With that, Hawke and Tallis departed, weaving in and out of the party guests, their keen eyes searching for their objective. Bethany watched them for a bit, shaking her head. “Better them than me,” she said at last, sighing._

_“What’s the matter, Sunshine?” Varric inquired gently. “Thought you’d be enjoying the whole ‘fancy Orlesian estate’ thing more, even if it is for school.”_

_“Oh, it’s just…” Bethany looked down at her outfit. She was in a simple long-sleeved dress, a pair of leggings, and boots, an outfit that suggested a busy day running around shepherding kids and doing things for her class. It was casual, but still stylish – as if Bethany could be anything but. Nevertheless, she looked faintly mortified. “As I mentioned, they didn’t tell us where we were going. I never expected…” She gestured around them, then pulled at the fabric of her dress. “I just can’t believe I wore_ this _to the chateau! Maker, what was I thinking?” she groaned._

_“That you were coming for a day of kids’ field trips and classwork, and you could make a burlap sack look good?” Varric suggested._

_Bethany turned at face him, her lips quirking slightly in a smile. “It’s hardly the height of fashion,” she protested._

_“You would_ kill _these people if_ you _wore the height of fashion,” he insisted. He was being entirely truthful, after all._

_Bethany giggled. “I suppose one must be merciful,” she said in pretend resignation. “But I have to get a new dress before graduation. Oh! You are coming to graduation, aren’t you?”_

_“Milady Sunshine, do you really think I’d miss your graduation? Not for all the gold in Orzammar,” he assured her, and she smiled._

_“Good, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you there. I promise I won’t show up in a burlap sack, though.” She laughed again, then looked out in the direction her sister and Tallis had disappeared. They were back amongst the crowd with their heads together, hatching some kind of plan. “Oh, dear. What’s my sister up to now? I hope she knows what she’s doing.”_

_The words had hardly escaped her lips when Hawke made her way over to a very unamused looking security guard. His words were not audible to Bethany and Varric from this distance, but they could hear Hawke’s exclamation clear as day. “I’ve been stung by a bee!” she keened, gripping her wrist. “I think it’s swelling! Maker, am I dying?” Since Hawke was very much not allergic to bees, both Varric and Bethany exchanged a bemused look._

_Tallis was effortlessly playing along. “The swelling is almost as big as your head!” she cried about Hawke’s imaginary sting. “Don’t just stand there, man, do something before it’s too late!”_

_It was at that moment that Hawke stumbled, falling to her knees. “If I die, make sure the world knows… I died at Chateau Haine!” she wailed, throwing her head back._

_“Well… this is… dramatic,” said Bethany, lifting an eyebrow._

_“But effective. Look.” Varric pointed to the guard, who was gesturing for Hawke and Tallis to follow him._

_For a moment, both Varric and the younger Hawke merely blinked in some surprise. Then, they glanced at each other and burst out laughing. “So…” said Varric when he had recovered, “that was a thing that happened.”_

_Bethany dabbed at her eyes. “I’m so glad my sister leaves the performing to Fenris and sticks with art,” she said, still laughing. “Had I known she was going to do that, I would have filmed it for posterity.”_

_“We’ll just have to tell the gang all about it when this is over,” he assured her. “Which means we can embellish it – not that it needs much embellishing.”_

* * *

_Hawke and Tallis continued to chase around the grounds in search of their coveted key, and Bethany had to abandon Varric a little bit in order to tend to the things that had brought her to the party in the first place. The party was nice enough – he even managed to strike up a pleasant conversation with the woman who would be in charge of Skyhold Academy once it was up and running – but without Hawke or Sunshine around, it was worthless to him. About an hour after they had parted ways, Varric made his way over to where Bethany was manning a little booth and extended a plate of food to her._

_“Thought you might be getting hungry,” he said as she accepted. “I got you a little bit of all the good stuff. You may notice that the ham is_ not _included, but I had some on the way over here.”_

_“And does it come as advertised?” she asked. “Does it really taste like despair?”_

_“Despair with notes of sorrow and disappointing your ancestors,” he reported. “Zero out of ten, would not recommend. But the canapes are all right,” he added, gesturing to her plate. “Those just taste like lemon.”_

_She laughed and took a bite of one experimentally. “Ooh, very nice. Thank you for fetching this for me.”_

_Leaving the booth in her classmate’s capable hands, she followed him over to one of the nearby garden walls, where they sat in companionable silence as she ate. Once she had finished and gave her plate to a passing waiter, she allowed herself to voice the question that had clearly been nagging at her. “I haven’t seen Marian or Tallis in a while. Any sign of them?”_

_“I think they finally managed to get inside,” said Varric. “I lost sight of them about twenty minutes ago and I’ve been all over this party, so they must have sneaked off.”_

_Bethany nodded, then sighed. “Varric… do you think Marian will be all right? I mean, we don’t know this Tallis or what she’s after…”_

_“That’s true – we really_ don’t _know a lot about Sparky. It’s very possible we never will…”_

_“‘Sparky?’” Bethany interrupted._

_“She helped us take down some low-level ruffians before we came here,” he explained. Noting Bethany’s look of concern, he added, “Trust me, sweetheart, compared to the gangs we’ve all busted in the past, they were small potatoes, but I guess she wanted to make an entrance. She heard we like to do it non-lethally, so she brought a taser. Two of them, actually. Hence ‘Sparky’. I also considered ‘Shivs’, since she looks like the kind of gal who would give you a good prison shank if given half the chance, but ‘Sparky’ seemed to fit her. Anyway, I don’t know Sparky, but I do know your sister, and I know she can handle whatever comes her way.”_

_Bethany studied him for a moment, then smiled, putting her head down on his shoulder. “I believe you.”_

_Without thinking, Varric encircled her waist with his arm. “Good, because I speak the truth, Sunshine. That woman can do anything.” He paused. “Anything except act, that is.”_

_“You can say that again.” Bethany snorted, then held up her wrist and adopted a false voice. “‘Maker, am I dying?’” They both laughed, still curled together in their half embrace as they watched the comings and goings all around them._

_For his part, Varric couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this relaxed, even if they were stuck at an Orlesian ball. Bethany somehow even managed to_ smell _like sunshine – some combination of fresh air, sunscreen, and her delicate floral perfume. It made something stir in his chest, pleasant and warm, and he wondered if maybe the punch he had sampled was going to his head. Why else would he feel faintly lightheaded?_

_After a few minutes of this, Bethany sighed and spoke again. “I used to want this, you know,” she said, gesturing to the crowd with something which might have been faint nostalgia._

_“Still do,” Varric replied, patting her hand. “I can tell.”_

_Bethany scoffed slightly. “But it’s certainly not likely to happen. The last thing they want is a noblewoman with no title and no fortune, coming out of school with a design degree and more than a few student loans.”_

_“Well, since when does ‘want’ give two squirts about ‘likely’? Enjoy it!” he said. “Besides, Hawke and I already promised we’d take care of those student loans.”_

_“Yes, I know.” She smiled faintly, then sat up to give him a sideways glance. “And ‘two squirts,’ Varric?” she repeated, lifting an eyebrow._

_“Ah, all this grandeur has me eloquented out,” he replied with a wave of his hand._

_Bethany chuckled and went back to watching the falderal, pausing for a moment as she listened to the music they were playing. “Well, hopefully all this grandeur doesn’t have you_ tuckered _out too,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “Care to dance with me?”_

_“Milady Sunshine,” he said, grinning, “I was just about to ask you the same question.”_

_“Well in that case, serah, I most assuredly accept.”_

_Varric helped her down from their perch, their arms linked together as they made their way to where the guests were dancing to some Orlesian waltz. “Now, I must warn you,” he said, “I don’t really know any Orlesian waltzes, so I’ll probably do this wrong.”_

_“Oh, that’s all right,” she said. “There isn’t really a right way or wrong way to dance, in my opinion, as long as the company is good.”_

_They took up position in the center of the makeshift dance floor, Bethany immediately putting her left hand on Varric’s shoulder and her right hand in his left. With only a beat of hesitation he didn’t quite understand, he settled his other hand on her waist, swaying her as the next song started. They were doing the dance entirely wrong, judging by the looks they were getting from the other dancers, but the look on Bethany’s face was the only one that mattered to the writer – and the look of pure delighted joy she wore was better than anything else. He gave her a small spin and she laughed, pressing closer to him as they moved. She pressed her cheek to his, and for several seconds everything was pure bliss – she looked completely safe, he looked completely happy._

_But, as with most things, it didn’t last. Bethany had just turned her head to say something to him, their faces close together, when a noise interrupted the song. They both jumped a bit in each other’s embrace, looking up to see what had caused the commotion. At the far end of the garden, several armed police officers and official-looking agents were swarming the scene, barking orders and sending guests scurrying._

_“Varric,” Bethany hissed. There was a note of alarm in her voice. “Look at them all. What if the Duke found Marian and Tallis?”_

_Varric tightened his hold on her protectively, surveying the scene. “I hate to say it, Sunshine, but you might be right. If they got into a snag, we’ll have to try and help them. Come on, let’s look around.”_

_They extricated themselves from the dance floor as quickly as they could and did a lap around the garden. Neither Hawke nor Tallis were anywhere to be found. “I don’t want to try and call Marian,” said Bethany, “in case they’re hiding somewhere and her phone would give them away. But if they were here, they would try to find us, wouldn’t they?” She moved in the direction of one of the security guards, all of whom looked a little fearful they had suddenly been replaced by more significant firepower. “Excuse me, messere… do you have any idea what’s going on?”_

_“The Duke has found burglars in his vault, my lady.” The guard grunted. “More than that I do not know.”_

_“Oh, how dreadful,” Bethany replied, trying not to sound too horrified. “Is nothing sacred? Good day, messere.” She drifted back to Varric, her eyes wide as she relayed what the guard told her._

_“That’s got to be Sparky and your sister,” said Varric. “I wonder if maybe we can get in through the same door, sneak in to find them.”_

_“Varric, I can’t leave the kids – I’m still supposed to be watching them,” Bethany protested, then paused. “Wait… I just had an idea. Give me a moment.” She dashed off and was gone for a few minutes, before she returned to where he stood. “All right, I’ve taken care of it. Thank the Maker there are so many chaperones here.”_

_“What’s the plan, Sunshine?” Varric sounded merely curious._

_“Your statement gave me an idea, just follow my lead.” She smirked. “Sister, take note, this is how it’s done.” She arranged her features into a look of pure panic, and pushed her way through the crowd, looking all over. At last, she came to a different guard than the one she had spoken to before, and all but threw herself at him. “Oh! Oh, messere, thank the Maker!” she cried. “Oh, messere, I’m one of the chaperones here today and one of my students wandered off! We were in the museum and I only turned around for a second – just a second! I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find her. I think she must have wandered into the Chateau. Can you please get me back inside so I can look for her?”_

_The guard studied her with a look both wary and sympathetic. “I’m terribly sorry,_ Mademoiselle _, I can’t do that…”_

_Varric was surprised (and impressed) to notice that tears were starting to form in the corners of Bethany’s eyes. “Y-you can’t? Oh, what am I going to do? Oh, please, messere, you’re my only hope! I’m worried sick!”_

_Varric played along, coming over to comfort Bethany. “There, there, I’m sure everything will be just fine.” To the guard, he added, “This is her first time chaperoning, she’s afraid she’s going to lose her job for this.”_

_Bethany nodded, then buried her face in her hands, her tone one of pure misery. “I can’t believe this happened!” With her face hidden, she started sobbing hysterically._

_The guard immediately looked panicked. “There, there,_ ma petit cherie _,” he said, attempting to soothe her. “I can’t stand seeing such a pretty girl cry. Come inside, I’m sure your student will turn up.” For some reason, the compliment bothered Varric, but he kept that to himself._

_“Oh, thank you, you are the soul of kindness!” Bethany looked up, squeezing the guard’s hands in gratitude. “Thank you!”_

_As soon as the guard brought them inside and left them to their own devices, Bethany dropped the act. Varric couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sunshine, that was beautiful,” he said. “And positively diabolical.”_

_She bowed, laughing. “Thank you, thank you. Maybe if my design degree doesn’t pan out I should become an actor, huh?”_

_Varric chuckled again. “You’re the most talented person I know, Sunshine, although don’t tell your sister I said that when we find her.”_

_“My lips are sealed,” she promised. “Speaking of Marian, let’s stage a little rescue operation, shall we?”_

_“I’ve got your back, Milady Sunshine,” he said, and they took off down the hallway at once._

* * *

_Hawke and Tallis had, after a lot of kerfuffle, finally managed to find the key in question (in the possession of the Duke’s son, no less). They spent most of their time sneaking around, although Hawke being an artist was a helpful bargaining chip at times, since it meant they could claim the Duke had invited her to see some of the museum’s more valuable paintings that had been secured in the vault. They made it all the way to said vault when things went sideways. It seemed like it was going to be one of those days._

_They had hardly been in the vault for half a minute when the Duke and his retinue of security guards had found them. “Don’t fret, my dear,” the Duke drawled. Hawke opened her mouth to explain, but Prosper’s attention was focused squarely on Tallis. “I knew who you were the moment you arrived… Special Agent 3354242.”_

_Hawke lifted an eyebrow. “Tallis, what is he talking about?”_

_The redhead’s mouth was scrunched into a frown. “It’s… complicated.”_

_“You can tell that to the people you pretended to work for,” Duke Prosper said. “I’m sure they would be very interested in hearing you not only impersonated an FBI agent, but that you broke into a world-renowned museum. Luckily the Chateau was a fortress before it was a museum, so I’ll have a place to hold you until the proper authorities arrive.” He waved his hand. “Take them away.”_

_Within short order, Hawke and Tallis had been carted off to the basement of the massive structure which was home to what had once been a dungeon. They were left in an old, but secure-looking cell, probably waiting to be formally arrested. “I would really prefer we not be incarcerated today,” Hawke said, pacing the cell. “My sister’s graduation is in a few weeks and whatnot, so…”_

_Tallis looked faintly miserable. “I think I owe you an explanation,” she said. “And an apology. This didn’t work out like I expected… obviously.” She huffed, running a hand through her hair. “I suppose I should start at the beginning. I’m not here for a jewel – although the Duke is certainly in possession of plenty of stolen antiquities. In fact, I’m not actually an FBI agent, as you probably gathered from my chat with Duke Prosper. I’m… well, actually, it’s classified._ I’m _classified.”_

_“Classified?” Hawke repeated. “So… you’re a spy.”_

_Tallis considered that and half shrugged. “In a manner of speaking, yes, I suppose so.”_

_“If you’re a spy, don’t you have anything up your sleeve that can get us out of this little predicament?”_

_“I’m not James Bond – I don’t have an exploding pen or lipstick that’s actually a laser or something.” Tallis managed a chuckle, before her features set themselves into a frown once again. “Anyway, the real reason why I came here is because the Duke is making a deal today… a deal I need to stop.”_

_“A politician making a dirty backdoor deal?” Hawke said dryly. “And an Orlesian politician to boot? Say it isn’t so.”_

_But Tallis shook her head. “You don’t understand.” She sighed again. “One of our agents – a man by the name of Salit – has gone rogue. He’s planning on selling the Duke a flashdrive full of names of other agents all across Thedas. Current and former agents,_ and _their families. In the wrong hands, that information could cost thousands of people their lives. I’ve been tasked with stopping him… it’s an operation we’ve come to call ‘Operation: Heart of the Many.’”_

_Hawke’s lips twitched in surprise. “So what exactly was your plan?”_

_“I knew Salit was here, I just couldn’t get in without drawing attention to myself – which is why I needed your help.” She smiled a bit. “You’re the ‘Only One in Kirkwall Not Completely Insane’, after all, I knew people would trust you. So I was going to plant this” – she reached into her boot to reveal a red gemstone hidden there – “somewhere for you to find while I went off to confront Salit, then return before anyone was the wiser.”_

_“‘Confront Salit?’ Is that a nice way of saying ‘kill him?’”_

_“If I have to. But I’d prefer it not come to that.” She held up a hand. “All I want is the flashdrive. No one should have that much information or power. Especially not Duke Prosper and his cronies. Look, I know I’ve involved you in far more than you bargained for, but… I’m hoping I can still count on your help. I can’t do this alone.”_

_“Before we do anything, we have to get out of here,” said Hawke. “Provided we get that far, I’ll help you.”_

* * *

_Neither Bethany nor Varric were exactly sure how long they had been running, but it was beginning to seem fairly obvious they were running in a giant circle. Bethany dashed into a hallway, her brow furrowed in thought, Varric doing his best to keep pace behind her. “Keep up, Varric!” she called over her shoulder. “I’m sure we’re almost there.”_

_“You’ve certainly quickened your stride since you started university.” He chuckled, skidding to a halt beside her as they peered around._

_“Too much to learn,” she said, smiling. “Or, you know, rescue in this case.”_

_“There’s my Sunshine,” he said warmly. “Let’s go!”_

_They were off again, headed through steadily more corridors. It felt like they had run the entire length of the Chateau at this point with no progress in sight. At last, however, Bethany stopped abruptly at a weapons locker near where the security guards got their gear. “I think that’s Marian’s gun,” she said, pointing._

_“And those are Sparky’s tasers.” Varric nodded in the direction of the two weapons. “Let’s get this open – I’m sure they’ll want these back when we find them.”_

_“Hopefully this means they’re nearby,” said Bethany._

_With the weapons liberated from the weapons locker, they set off at once, finally reaching a part of the underground maze they were certain they hadn’t seen before. “Marian,” Bethany called softly. “Marian!”_

_They dashed around a corner and almost smacked into Hawke and Tallis, who were emerging from their cell at that exact moment. “Sister! Are you… and you’re fine.” Bethany sighed. “Of course you are.”_

_“Sorry to interrupt the rescue.” Hawke laughed._

_“How did you manage to get out?” Varric wanted to know._

_Hawke and Tallis exchanged a glance. Hawke shrugged, smirking. “Exploding pen.”_

_“I don’t think I want to know what that even means,” said Bethany._

_“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Tallis interrupted. “If we go back the way we came, we should be able to…”_

_Bethany shook her head. “No good. The entire Chateau is crawling with police.”_

_“Which reminds me,” said Varric, “anyone care to tell us what the hell’s going on?”_

_“The short answer?” Tallis replied. “I’m not an FBI agent and we’re not really here to steal a jewel. But we_ are _here to stop a rogue agent from burning a whole lot of spies and their families.”_

_Both Varric and Bethany looked gobsmacked, their gaze swiveling to Hawke, who shrugged. “I don’t know if she’s telling the truth, but I don’t want the blood of that many innocent people on my hands if she is, do you?”_

_Varric sighed. “I suppose you’re right. Shit, I liked this a lot more when I thought we were just Robin Hood-ing an antique from some poncy noble.”_

_“You and me both,” said Hawke, before turning to face Tallis. “All right, if we can’t go back upstairs without being arrested and charged with all sorts of lovely things, how do we get out of here?”_

_“Don’t worry, I have a backup plan,” said the spy. “Follow me.”_

_Since ‘take a lot on good faith day’ seemed to be continuing, the Kirkwallers had no choice but to shrug and follow their guide down deeper through the Chateau’s labyrinthine corridors. At last, they came to a crack in the wall. “Here we are,” Tallis said. “Any fancy noble lodging worth its salt’s gotta have an escape route.” Noting the looks of surprise on the faces of the others, she shrugged. “What? I_ told _you I had a plan – it was a good plan, with an escape and everything, it’s just all the stuff in the middle that hit a reef. You really think I wouldn’t check out the building specs before coming here?” As if to prove her confidence, she plunged into the hole first._

_After a few minutes of stumbling around in the dark, Hawke, Bethany, and Varric stepped out into the brightness behind Tallis, who stood waiting for them. It seemed like the little escape tunnel had led them to the far side of the Chateau, out where the estate became woodsy._

_“Come on,” said Tallis. “My information says Salit and the Duke are meeting in a ruined area of the Chateau. We have to find it, and quickly.”_

_“Wait a moment, I’ve seen that,” said Bethany. “I think I know how to get us there. This way!”_

* * *

_The ruins in question had probably once been a summer kitchen or something similar; whatever it had been, it was clearly no longer used and had gone to seed over the ages. It was perched above the party, high enough that it was almost invisible from the ground, yet low enough that the sounds of music and the chatter of guests could be heard over the wind. By the time they arrived, the Duke and this Salit were already in the process of negotiating. Their body language clearly said they neither liked nor trusted each other, but Salit had promised the Duke a weapon, and he was delivering._

_“No!” Tallis hissed, watching Salit hand the Duke the flashdrive. The scene was flanked by some of Duke Prosper’s personal security and, before any of the Kirkwallers could even blink, Tallis dispatched the two closest guards with her tasers. As they fell unconscious, she immediately seized the blazer and sunglasses of the one closest to her, donning them over her own clothes and taking off through the shadows._

_“Tallis!” Hawke whispered frantically, but the spy was off, coming to stand at Duke Prosper’s side as if she had been there all along. “Well, there’s only one thing to do then,” Hawke told her companions, and advanced toward the assemblage._

_“Your Grace!” one of the guards exclaimed, gesturing to Hawke as she came into view._

_“Champion,” the Duke spat, turning to face her. “I should have known you would turn up.” He took a step forward, shoving the flashdrive into the hands of one of the waiting guards. Of course, the Duke didn’t know it, but that waiting guard was Tallis, who palmed the device with a look of undisguised relief._

_“It takes more than a dungeon to keep me down, Your Grace,” Hawke snarked, noting that as long as she had the Duke’s attention, the disguised Tallis could make short work of the guards. She was silent as the grave with Kathryn and Thane, and as the guards fell and she deftly replaced the charges in both tasers with skilled fingers, no one seemed to see what she was doing. Their attention was squarely on Hawke._

_“Champion of Kirkwall,” said Salit in his low gravelly tone. “I’ve heard of you. This is none of your concern. The Orlesian and I have a deal.”_

_“You’ll forgive me if I don’t agree,” Tallis’s voice cut in suddenly. As the last guard fell and everyone turned to see her surrounded by the bodies of the unconscious men, she shed the blazer and gave the sunglasses a dismissive toss. One of her tasers was pointed at Duke Prosper and the other at Salit, her gaze roving between the two of them._

_Salit’s eyes narrowed in recognition. “Tallis.”_

_“I said I would stop you, Salit,” she replied._

_“And I said I would shoot you if you tried,” he said, pulling a gun and pointing it at her. “You were foolish to not bring real firepower here.”_

_Tallis shrugged. “Maybe so.”_

_“Leave us, Tallis. The deal is done.” Salit’s eyes turned to the Duke. “I gave you the leverage you wanted. You promised me money and safe passage to Antiva. Where is what you promised me?”_

_The Duke merely laughed. “I promised you something? I do not recall such a thing.”_

_Salit growled. “_ Basra _!” he swore. “Where I come from, our word means something! We have honor!”_

_“And where I come from, my friend, we know how to play the Game,” said the Duke. “And honor has no place in such things. Oh, and one more thing. Your fellow spy may not have brought real weapons with her…” He pulled a gun in one fluid motion and pointed it at Salit. “…But I did.”_

_Before Salit could fire his own gun, the Duke had fired his, but Tallis was just a second faster. In her haste, her aim wasn’t as perfect as it might have otherwise been, and the electrodes of the taser attached to his upper leg instead of his torso. But it was enough for the Duke to lose his balance and his shot veered, winging Salit instead of killing or more grievously injuring him. Both Salit and the Duke crumpled to the ground – Tallis sprang towards the former, while Hawke loomed over the latter._

_“It’s over, Salit,” Tallis said, crouching beside him. “I have the flashdrive now.”_

_“Yes, Tallis, it’s over.” Unfortunately, like any good spy, Salit had an ultimate way out. Before Tallis could react, he revealed one of his teeth to be a cyanide tooth, popped it out, and bit down._

_“No!” Tallis tried to grab the pill from his mouth, but it was already dissolving._

_“_ Panahedan _,” the dying spy choked to his colleague and within seconds was gone. Tallis hung her head, gripping Salit’s hands in anguish._

_Varric, Bethany, and Hawke all exchanged a glance of sympathy. Tallis may have lied to them, but it was clear she respected this Salit and that he would be missed. Hawke walked over and placed a hand on Tallis’s shoulder. “You didn’t mention that Salit was a friend of yours,” she said gently._

_“He trained me,” said Tallis, getting to her feet. “I suppose, in a way, he saved me. I wish it had come to a better end.”_

_“There’s only so much you could do,” Hawke assured her. Her gaze then fell to the pocket in which Tallis had stowed the flashdrive. “What about that? Did you mean what you said earlier when you said no one should have power like that?”_

_Tallis took the device out of her pocket and studied it in her palm. “I did,” she confirmed. After a second more, she threw the flashdrive on the ground and crushed it under her heel several times until it was all but pulverized._

_Hawke stooped to pick up the pieces and, with a mighty toss, scattered the fragments as far as she could. “There. Done and done.”_

_“Thank you, Hawke, I couldn’t have done it without you.” Tallis cracked a smile, giving Hawke a slight nod._

_Hawke returned the nod and was just making her way back over to where her companions stood when Bethany let out a gasp. “Marian!”_

_Hawke turned and, with a sudden grunt, stumbled backward at the impact of something in her torso. Duke Prosper had been all but forgotten in the falderal, but he had gotten back to his feet now and had fired a shot from his reclaimed gun. Hawke doubled over for a moment, the wind knocked out of her, then straightened again. “Oh, that’s probably bruised a rib. Damn.” Noting the Duke’s look of shock, she added, “I didn’t fall off the back of the turnip truck, Duke Prosper – you really thought I would come and_ not _bring a bulletproof vest? They didn’t just make me Champion of Kirkwall for my good looks, you know.”_

_The Duke snarled, rounding on Hawke as he lifted his gun once more. But before he had time to do much of anything, Tallis jumped in between his weapon and Hawke, lifting both of her tasers. This time, she did not miss. The impact of both Kathryn and Thane sent the Duke careening backwards, aided by a swift kick from Tallis. With a shriek, he tumbled over the edge, falling through several awnings on the way down. Eventually, he crashed down onto a dessert table in the party amid several horrified guests. The companions all exchanged a look of surprise, rushing to the edge to see what had happened. The Duke was alive, but it was probably safe to say he had learned his lesson. After a few beats of silence, Hawke looked up._

* * *

Varric was delighted by his audience’s reactions to the tale thus far. All that was left was the grand finale. “And then Hawke looks up and says…” He exchanged a glance with Hawke, who was grinning, and together they said, “‘Looks like the Duke has fallen from grace.’”

Almost immediately, Cullen chortled, while across from Varric, Josephine’s eyes had widened. “ _That’s_ how Duke Prosper was injured?” she pondered, then nodded. “You know, that’s almost perfect for him.”

“I remember the aftermath of this!” said Michel. “He recovered with no more lingering effects than a slight limp, but he was in traction for over a month. The official story on how he got the injuries was… quite different, of course.”

“As far as we heard it, Empress Celene distanced herself from the whole thing,” said Varric. “Whether the Duke was acting under her orders when he tried to acquire those names from Salit or if he was doing it to feather his own cap, we’ll probably never know…”

“…But either way the Empress dropped him like a bad habit,” Hawke finished for him. “I think the only reason he never came back to seek revenge on us was the fact that his attempted murders of both Salit and myself were never reported and I can hold that fact over him. Well, that, and I think he’s afraid Tallis will come back and introduce him to Kathryn and Thane again,” she added with a chuckle.

“About Tallis,” ventured Cassandra. “I’m guessing you haven’t seen her since that day?”

“You guess correctly, General,” said Varric. “She smuggled Salit’s body out while the police tended to the Duke, then said her goodbyes. Oh, we did hear from her one other time, though – she sent Hawke the gemstone that she had intended to pass off as the Heart of the Many with a note about a week later.”

“Mmhmm.” Hawke nodded. “No return address. No name. And the note only said one thing: ‘One who wishes to walk on water must first learn to swim.’”

“To this day,” said Varric with a chuckle, “I still have no idea what that means.”

Everyone laughed and clapped as the story came to an end. “Now that was quite the tale,” said Dorian, lifting his mug in Varric’s direction. “I must admit I’m impressed.”

“I’m actually dying to know,” said Bull. “Do you guys still have the gemstone?”

“ _We_ don’t, no.” Varric sipped from his own mug. “Sunshine has it. Graduation present.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, it seemed like a good gift after everything we had gone through during that crazy caper,” he replied, “so with Hawke’s permission, I gave it to her the night we all went out for her celebration dinner.”

Hawke smiled at the memory. “That was a nice night.”

“Yeah, until Choirboy turned up,” Varric muttered almost to himself. He noticed Hawke studying him. “But that’s a story for another time, I think.”

“And speaking of nice nights,” said Cullen, getting to his feet, “this has been wonderful, but I think I’m done for the evening. We put Skye to bed before we came here, but I’d like to say goodnight to Cole before he heads to bed too.”

“I think you’ve got the right idea, Curly,” Varric replied, checking his watch. “It _is_ pretty late. But let’s do this again soon.”

The party broke up soon after and as Varric put away the cards, Hawke lingered to watch him. “So…” she began, smirking. “That comment about Seb at Bethy’s graduation dinner… have something to share with the class?”

Varric shook his head. “Some other time, Hawke. Sunshine’s probably waiting up for me, and it really is later than I thought. Night.”

“Night, Varric,” Hawke replied in a tone that suggested she wasn’t going to forget this, before she disappeared in the direction of her rooms.

Varric made his way to his own rooms, opening the door softly on the off chance that Bethany had fallen asleep waiting for him. Of course, she hadn’t – she was sitting on the edge of the bed, combing her hair, and looked up with a smile when she saw him. “Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted her. “Sorry I’m late. I got to telling everyone about the Chateau Haine misadventure and sort of lost track of time.”

“Oh, that one’s a favorite of mine.” She chuckled, patting the side of the bed. “No apology necessary.”

“You know, it got me wondering something,” he said, taking the invitation to join her. “Do you still have the gemstone?”

“Of course I do,” she replied. She got up and crossed the room to her dresser. Within a few seconds, she turned back around, holding up the necklace that the gem had been set into. “I don’t get to wear it often, but I still have it. I wouldn’t give it up for anything – it was a gift from you, after all.”

He smiled at that. “That’s my Sunshine.” He paused a moment, then plowed on. “You know, there’s actually something about that night I was just thinking about…”

“Oh?” said Bethany, coming to join him once more. “What about that night?”

* * *

_It was about three weeks after the Chateau Haine fiasco when Bethany Hawke finally got to call herself a college graduate. As Bethany walked up on stage to accept her diploma, Marian Hawke looked so proud that Varric thought her face might crack from all the smiling she was doing. Hell, he figured his own face probably wasn’t far behind. Seeing his girls so happy always had that effect on him._

_The rest of the afternoon was a blur of excitement and pictures and Bethany hugging her friends and classmates. At last, though, came the celebration dinner Hawke had planned with all the Kirkwall crew who could make it. Sunshine looked like a debutante, sitting there among all their friends with a mountain of gifts and a smile made of pure joy; she had even managed to get her hands on the new dress she had coveted before the big day, and Varric felt the overwhelming desire to spirit her back to the chateau and show all those puffed up nobles that_ this _was how a woman did elegance._

_He waited patiently as she squealed with Merrill and took pictures with Aveline before he finally got his turn. She smiled brightly as he walked up to her and, with a low and dramatic bow, presented her with a little box. “A graduation gift for Milady Sunshine,” he said._

_“Oh, Varric, you’re sweet.” She opened the gift and her eyes widened immediately. “Varric… this is… this is stunning.”_

_“The stone is from Sparky, but I had it set into a necklace,” he explained. “Apparently her original plan was to pass that stone off as what we were going to steal while she went in to get the flashdrive; when that didn’t pan out, she sent this stone to your sister to show her appreciation.” Seeing the look of incredulity on Bethany’s face, he held up a hand. “Don’t worry, it’s not a priceless antique like she made it out to be. But it is real and it is pretty, so I convinced Hawke to give it to me so I could give it to you.”_

_Bethany’s smile returned, even brighter than before. “Well, I love it, it’s so thoughtful.” She put it on her neck at once and rose to kiss his cheek lingeringly. “Thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome, Sunshine.” He didn’t even have a witty retort, all he could focus on was trying to steady his breathing. Why the bloody hell was it suddenly so hot in this room?_

_He had just managed to calm himself a bit when a new voice cut in. “Happy graduation. Sorry I’m late.” They all turned to see Sebastian, clad in a white shirt and khaki blazer, standing in the doorway. He flashed Bethany a brilliant smile._

_“Oh, Maker! Seb!” she cried in delight, springing back to her feet to greet him. “I didn’t think you’d be able to make it!”_

_“I almost didn’t,” he admitted, “But there was no way I was going to miss the day entirely, my Lady Hawke.”_

_“Well, I’m so pleased you’re here.” She hurried to his side and threw her arms around him, laughing merrily. Sebastian smiled once more, bright enough to light up a small city. When they broke apart, she led him over to the table and gestured to the seat next to her. “Here, sit down. It’s been so long, Seb, how are you?”_

_It took Varric a few moments to realize he had watched the entire interaction with rapt attention. The way Choirboy had smiled at Sunshine caused something fierce and unpleasant to barb in Varric’s chest. So did the way Sunshine had greeted the prince in return. So did the perfect way Sunshine and Choirboy seemed to fit together when they embraced. And then very suddenly it hit Varric – that unpleasant sensation was jealousy. And there was probably only one reason why he would ever feel jealous of Choirboy..._

_Well… shit…_

* * *

“Really?” Bethany laughed, looking surprised. “I never knew any of that! That was the night you realized you had feelings for me?”

Varric shrugged slightly. “Guilty as charged, Sunshine.”

“And that’s also when you realized you were jealous of Seb?” She shook her head. “Oh, Varric, I’m sorry. I never meant…”

“Sunshine, you never have to apologize to me for anything, you know that.” He smiled affectionately at her. “You did nothing wrong. And he didn’t do anything wrong either, really. I was just… it’s water under the bridge now, nothing to worry about.”

She smiled at that, chuckling slightly, and put on the necklace she was still holding. “Well, good.” She fiddled with the gemstone. “You know, Tallis may have intended to pass this off as the Heart of the Many, but it for me, it’s just the Heart of the One – the only one I need. I hope you know that.”

“Always, Sunshine. But it’s still nice to hear.” He smiled, and she cupped his face to kiss him.


	4. In Search of Certainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undeterred by internet bullies, Jim and Rory's midterm project is another fanfic that Varric just knows he has to share with the rest of the staff - a noir detective story featuring all of them. It contains about as many overdramatic noir descriptions and clichés as you would expect, with twists and turns and silliness around every corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few months ago, after discovering this awesome art [http://agarthanguide.tumblr.com/post/137986372336/i-love-pulp-and-camp-art-and-writing-and-dragon], LadyNorbert and I joked that the first picture of Cullen and Varric as detectives totally sounded like something Jim and Rory would write. Later, when an unrelated post made LadyNorbert consider how we could insert Varric leaping to Bethany's defense after being insulted, I postulated it could be inserted into that noir concept and the rest of the story came together from there. It's silly and over-the-top and we hope you love it as much as we do. ;)
> 
> You'll notice that Jim and Rory bill their story as a fanfic of Varric's "Hard in Hightown", which shows up in the game as codex entries and is a crime serial about a detective-type character named Donnen Brennokovic in the Kirkwall guard. In this universe, we decided "Hard in Hightown" would totally be a noir, hence how Jim and Rory come to the conclusion they should write a noir piece too. This is part one of two, since our finished product ended up being quite long.
> 
> Also, do check out the film noir page on TV Tropes if you're so inclined - we used this page heavily to get inspiration for different character cameos and plot points. Plus it's just good fun. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FilmNoir]

 

* * *

**In Search of Certainty – Part One**

* * *

Varric was genuinely concerned about Rory and Jim, following the minor debacle over their fanfiction. It all seemed to have ended well; the YouTube bully ultimately had his entire channel yanked over his behavior, and the reader who had started the whole thing had withdrawn and stopped contacting them. But he was still uneasy. They were young, a little unsure of themselves, and he was half afraid the experience might put them off of writing.

It was a relief, therefore, to open their joint midterm project and discover a new story. He read the first few paragraphs and started chuckling, knowing that he couldn’t keep it to himself.

“Everybody gather round!” he called, striding into the staff lounge with the sheaf of papers in his hand and a smirk on his face. “I have the latest offering from our resident budding authors, and if I may say so, this might be the best one yet.”

Several people looked up at that assertion. “The best one yet?” Dorian repeated, turning in his chair. “Well, that’s quite the endorsement. I must admit I’m very curious.”

“I may be a little biased,” Varric replied. “It’s not just fanfic about us this time, it’s fanfic based on _Hard in Hightown_. An unofficial sequel.”

“They wrote a fanfiction for _Hard in Hightown_?” Hawke laughed. “Oh, this should be good.”

“Wait, wasn’t there already a sequel to _Hard in Hightown_?” Cassandra asked from her corner of the room.

“Two of them, and they were both horrible,” Varric replied crossly. “They were also completely unauthorized. My editor almost had a nervous breakdown over the idea that anyone would think she was in any way involved in their publication. Finally got the guy responsible arrested. This isn’t technically authorized either, but they’re not pretending to be me so it’s perfectly okay. So, who wants a synopsis?”

“Do you even need to ask?” Dorian chuckled, and the rest of the teachers finished what they were doing in order to sit facing Varric. “Let’s hear it.”

“Well, tell me this doesn’t grab your attention.” Varric chuckled and cleared his throat. _“After the retirement of hard-boiled detective Donnen Brennokovic, two of his colleagues join forces to investigate the theft of a priceless artifact from the Kirkwall Chantry. There’s a dame in Hightown who’s willing to help, but for a price: the detectives have to protect her sister, who is being targeted to ensure the lady’s silence.”_ Smirking again, he glanced at his listeners. “It gets better - the detectives are Curly and me. I can only imagine who the dame and her sister might possibly be.”

“ _I’m_ one of the detectives?” Cullen asked, laughing faintly.

“Oh, I’d be willing to bet the dame is me,” said Hawke, smirking. “Always wanted to be a ‘dame.’”

“I only got in a little way before I decided this needed to be shared,” said the writing teacher. “From what I saw, Curly is the younger detective - happily married, two kids, maybe a little overly eager to do the job well. I’m the older partner - world-weary, confirmed bachelor, drinks too much probably.” His lips twitched. “Clearly this is all very true to life.”

“Obviously,” Hawke agreed with a laugh.

“It sounds very exciting,” said Josephine. “And I’m sure the ‘dame’s sister’ probably captures the world-weary detective’s heart with her charming ways. Very romantic.”

“What? No way. That never happens.” Varric paused. “Where _is_ my wife, anyway?”

“I think she’s just finishing a nap,” reported Hawke. “I can text her though - I’m sure she’d love to hear this.”

“All right, but if she doesn’t feel up to it, tell her she can read it later.” Varric sat down in his usual chair. “Let’s see here… _In Search of Certainty_ …”

 

 

> _Following the retirement celebration of Donnen Brennokovic, life in the Kirkwall police barracks returned pretty much to normal. His colleagues received a postcard from the coast of Starkhaven, where the now-former detective was settling down and looking into opening a tavern._
> 
> _“Lucky bastard,” said Varric Tethras with a chuckle. Like Donnen, he was a detective on the force, and had been for many years. He’d seen it all, done it twice, and had the recycling bins full of discarded liquor bottles to prove it. “Wish my retirement weren’t so far off. I’d love to do the same thing.”_
> 
> _“Somehow, it’s hard to picture you ever retiring,” said Varric’s young partner Cullen Rutherford with a slight laugh. There was no malice in the remark - Rutherford was too earnest for that. “The job is practically your life.”_
> 
> _“You go home at night to your pretty wife and adorable munchkins. This is what keeps me going.” Varric shrugged. “Living vicariously through you could definitely be worse. You’re right, though, I’ll probably do this until I die.”_
> 
> _“If you two are done yammering,” interrupted the stern voice of Captain Hendallen, “we’ve got a major issue that I want you to handle.” She passed a folder to Cullen. “Head up to the Chantry in Hightown, and keep your lips zipped. Seems that someone has broken in and made off with the sword. You know the one.”_
> 
> _The young detective grimaced slightly as he cracked open the folder to glance at the report. “Yes, of course,” he remarked. “Stole it, you say?”_
> 
> _“How’d they even get their hands on it?” Varric looked baffled. “I don’t exactly visit the Chantry on a regular basis, but last time I was there, that thing was under glass and flanked by a pair of honor guards.”_
> 
> _“Still is,” Cullen confirmed. “At least, it_ was _. I guess we’ll find out more when we get there - I’d better call home and let them know I’ll be late.”_
> 
> _“Go on. I’ll warm up the car.”_

 

“So far so good,” said Varric, pausing to take a drink. “Anyone care to take a guess as to what sword they mean? I covered the Blade of Hessarian in the original book, so I’m guessing it’s something else.”

“Well, the story is called ‘In Search of Certainty,’ isn’t it?” said Cassandra. “‘Certainty’ sounds familiar…”

“Wait, isn’t that the red sword they have in the Grand Cathedral?” asked Evvy. “The one that belonged to the first Divine or something like that?”

“You’re right.” Her husband nodded. “It was a surprisingly frequent topic of conversation during my time in the military - although I suppose a weapon with a reputation such as that one has _would_ be interesting to military folk.”

“True. So it got moved to Kirkwall in this story?” she guessed.

“They’ll probably explain. Unlike _some_ writers, Jim and Rory are pretty good at explaining things,” said Bull, teasingly.

“I heard that,” Varric protested.

“Now, now, you’re just _assuming_ he means you,” Dorian said, looking smug. “He could mean any Thedosian writer with a strange fixation on dropping characters out of the sky at opportune moments.”

“Hmph. Well, let’s see what’s going on here.”

 

 

> _“As you may have heard,” said the Grand Cleric, “the sword Certainty - once wielded by Divine Justinia I - has been in the care of the Kirkwall Chantry for some time now.”_
> 
> _“Pretty sure everyone in the Free Marches has heard that, Your Grace,” said Varric dryly._
> 
> _“Before she became the first Divine, Justinia was the only female general in the Orlesian army,” she continued, as though she hadn’t heard him. Maybe she hadn’t. “She was chosen to record Andraste’s own words, and all these years later, her version of the Chant is still the one we use. Certainty is normally kept at the Grand Cathedral, but in an effort to share holy treasures with more of the faithful, it will be spending a year in the Chantry of every major city or nation. Unfortunately, we’ve had… a problem.”_
> 
> _“What can you tell us about the incident, Your Grace?” Cullen asked, flipping through his notes to a clean page, his pen poised to start writing._
> 
> _“Per the current Divine’s directives, Certainty was kept under glass with an honor guard of at least two Orlesian Imperial soldiers at all times,” she said, guiding them through the Cathedral to the place of glory. “Sometime last night, however, the guards were incapacitated and the sword removed. No one seems to know anything; the morning revealed both guards tied up and unconscious, and no clues that we can find.”_
> 
> _“Donnen would have loved this,” Cullen remarked quietly to Varric as they studied the empty case. To the Grand Cleric, he said, “Has anyone interviewed the guards yet to see if they remember any details at all?”_
> 
> _“Yes, but to no avail. They say their minds are completely blank - and both appear to be quite ill besides. They’ve been taken to the hospital for evaluation.” She shook her head. “I pray you will have success, detectives. The loss of that sword is incalculable. Maker only knows what the thieves plan to do with it.”_
> 
> _“It’s all right, Your Grace, we’ll find whoever did this and make sure the sword is returned,” Cullen vowed with all the conviction that came from still being new to the game. “You have my word.”_
> 
> _“What he said.” Varric nodded. “We’ll do everything we can. Let’s head over to the hospital and start interviewing the soldiers; it’s a starting point.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _As they left the Grand Cathedral, however, a young boy - he couldn’t have been more than ten - rushed up to them. He had a mean, underfed look, like someone had plucked him out of the dregs of Darktown and given him a couple of silver just to play messenger. In point of fact, Varric suspected that was exactly what had happened. “Letter for you, sers!” he barked, shoving a rolled-up note into Cullen’s hand before dashing away again._
> 
> _For a moment, Cullen was too stunned to even speak. Then, his gaze swiveled to Varric. “How could we have been sent a letter out here? I didn’t think anyone except the captain knew what we were doing.”_
> 
> _“No idea, kid. Let’s have a look at the note.” He took the scroll and broke the seal. “Hmm._ I have information but I won’t talk without protection. Meet me at the Hanged Man _._ _Right, that’s not suspicious.”_
> 
> _Cullen’s brows knitted and he reclaimed the letter in order to scan it once more. “I’ve never been one to turn down a lead,” he said, “but I’m not sure I like this.”_
> 
> _“Well… you’ve seen one bar brawl, you’ve seen them all. Worst that happens is Corff throws us out on our rears.” Varric shrugged. “Let’s go be nosy and have a drink.”_

 

“So - who thinks it’s a trap?” asked Varric.

Cullen nodded. “It’s probably a trap, yes.”

“I’d like to think it’s from this mysterious ‘dame,’” said Hawke. “Or maybe it is a trap and she saves the two of you from getting your teeth knocked in.”

“I could see that,” he agreed.

 

 

> _Within the hour, both detectives were standing in front of the Hanged Man, Kirkwall’s preeminent dive._
> 
> _“New conundrum,” Varric muttered as they entered, breathing the scent of stale beer and rat droppings. “How are we going to find this person in the first place?”_
> 
> _“Well, they knew enough to send us that letter,” said Cullen, looking around. “Maybe they’ll find us?”_
> 
> _“Over there.” Varric jerked his head toward one corner, where two hooded figures stood watching them. One beckoned, then turned and led the other up the narrow creaking stairs to the rooms for rent. “I guess… we have to follow, if we want to know what’s going on. Stay close.”_
> 
> _“That or we’re walking into a trap,” Cullen pointed out, but he followed Varric nevertheless._
> 
> _“I know, but we won’t know which one until we investigate.” As they turned a corner, leading to a dead end, they found themselves confronted by roughly seven figures clad in leather. “Okay, it’s a trap.”_
> 
> _“You’re investigating the theft of that sword,” said one, apparently acting as the spokesman. “This is your only warning._ Walk away now _and forget the whole thing, or you’ll be in a worse state than those soldiers.”_
> 
> _“We don’t take kindly to threats,” Cullen retorted. “Particularly from the likes of_ you _. Think carefully about what you’re doing.”_
> 
> _“Nice speech, but… I don’t think this is helping,” Varric murmured, watching almost helplessly as their adversaries sprang to attack. He almost forgot to go for his gun, but suddenly, the entire corridor was filled with a white noxious smoke. He could hear people gasping uncontrollably and coughing. “Curly!” he managed, stumbling backward. “Curly, come on!”_
> 
> _A hand seized his wrist. “Follow me,” said an unfamiliar voice, and he belatedly realized that both he and Cullen were being pulled through the tavern and out into the fresh air._
> 
> _Standing in the sunlight, breathing deeply, he took a hard look at their rescuer. “What the hell just happened?” he demanded._
> 
> _“Simple - you sprang a trap, and I pulled you both out before those goons had a chance to crack your skulls open,” said the dame standing before them. “This is usually the part where I get a thank you.”_
> 
> _“Uh. Thank you,” said Varric, almost mystified. “You… want to explain things?”_
> 
> _“I will, but not here. I thought the Hanged Man would work for our purposes,” she admitted, “but they followed me after I sent the boy. So I hid and waited to un-spring the trap once you sprang it. They won’t be delayed for long - where’s your car?”_
> 
> _Probably figuring it couldn’t get any worse - and the woman_ did _just save their necks - Cullen pointed in the direction of the car with only minimal hesitation. “It’s this way.”_
> 
> _“Good. Let’s go. I’ll explain as you drive.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Several minutes later, they were on their way to the hospital as originally planned, and the woman lounged on the back seat. She had long legs and sharp eyes, and the sort of face that made you think she could kill you and you’d thank her for the privilege. “My name is Marian Hawke,” she said. “Just Hawke to you. I have information on the theft of the sword, but there’s a condition. I’ll help you only if you can offer protection.”_
> 
> _“Protection?” Cullen repeated, glancing in the rear view mirror at her. “You seem like you can handle yourself, Ms. Hawke.”_
> 
> _She chuckled. “Oh, I can. And they know I can. Just Hawke - you can drop the Ms. bit. No, it’s for my younger sister. The people you’re after know that I’ve got information that can help you, so they’re threatening her. She’s safe for the moment but I need a better setup.”_
> 
> _“If you tell us what you know, I’m sure we can keep her safe, Ms…_ Hawke _,” Cullen corrected. “We can find her some guards or something similar.”_
> 
> _“Not good enough. I want her_ safe _.” Hawke shook her head. “I want someone personally appointed to watch over her at all times. You don’t know who you’re up against… they could get into even your police barracks.”_
> 
> _“All right, if we agree to that, will you tell us what you know?”_
> 
> _“I will not only tell you what I know, I will go with you every step of the way. I may not be the most devout Andrastian in Thedas, but some things are just wrong.”_

 

“A face that looked like she could kill you and you’d thank her for the privilege,” repeated Bull, when Varric paused for a breath and some dramatic emphasis. “That’s you, Hawke, although I’ll admit I never thought of your face in those exact terms.”

Hawke laughed. “I’ve certainly been described in worse ways,” she remarked, considering the wording. “I like it, personally. Adds to the mystique, I think.”

“That makes Bethany the sister, then, as we surmised,” said Josephine. “Which means that she will definitely be winning over Varric in short order.” Her eyes sparkled playfully.

“Maybe.” He just chuckled.

“Think the rest of us can expect to appear?” Evvy wondered. “Or I should say, the rest of you - clearly I’m at home with Cullen’s two kids.”

“You probably sell beautiful artwork to supplement your husband’s meager wages from running around playing detective,” Cullen said, kissing her hand. “But you’re right, I wonder if there are any other cameos.”

“Knowing that Rory is one of the authors, I’d bet coin that Dorian’s in here somewhere,” said Leliana sagely.

“You’re probably not wrong,” Dorian agreed with a laugh.

“I’m not quite up on all the noir tropes,” said Solas. “I wonder just how everyone will fit into the narrative.”

“I guess we’ll find out. They seem to be having fun with the stereotypes so far, though,” Varric mused.

“You can say that again,” Hawke agreed. “I’m definitely looking forward to Bethy’s arrival in the story.”

“Me too,” said her brother-in-law.

 

 

> _The soldiers at the hospital were in a bad way. The doctor was able to give the detectives an explanation as to why. “They were drugged,” he said simply. “A powerful sedative I’ve only seen in books - it’s not available on the open market. They call it Crow Venom.”_
> 
> _“Bit of a stupid name,” Varric grumbled. “Crows aren’t venomous.”_
> 
> _“I didn’t name it,” Dr. Chevin replied mildly. “At any rate, it wipes the mind. How bad the wipe is depends on how much is administered; in their case, they were lucky to be given only a small dose. They’ve lost a few days’ worth of memories, nothing more. But they’ll be able to give you no intelligence about the theft, I’m afraid.”_
> 
> _“Keep them under guard, just in case,” Varric advised. “We’ll be in touch; if you learn anything, contact Captain Hendallen right away.”_
> 
> _“Well,” said Cullen as they walked down the hallway, “there goes any hope of clues from the soldiers. Maybe we can get some leads on this ‘Crow Venom.’”_
> 
> _“It’s something to try. Let’s see what Hawke wants us to do about this little sister of hers. I am not keen on babysitting.” They had left their new acquaintance in the car, where she assured them she could look after herself._
> 
> _“It’s a small price to pay for the information Hawke has. At least I hope.”_
> 
> _“I guess it depends on how much of a handful the sister is.” Varric shrugged._
> 
>  
> 
> _At Hawke’s direction, they returned to Hightown, to one of the stately manors which lined the cobbled streets. Like its neighbors, the Hawke estate was carved of whitish-gray stone, and glowered at them in the light of the setting sun like an angry monolith. “My sister’s inside,” she told them. “I left her under the protection of some friends - nobody will have messed with them thus far. But my friends can’t stay, so what I want is for her to be taken out of the city.”_
> 
> _“And taken where?” Cullen inquired. “You said earlier you didn’t trust the police barracks.”_
> 
> _“Well, if she’s finished what she was doing when I left, she’ll be well-disguised and can be taken almost anywhere relatively public. The Crows aren’t stupid and they don’t like to make a mess in civilized places if they can help it,” said Hawke. “Come inside and meet her, and you can figure it out among yourselves. But this is the price of my aid; my sister has to be safe. She’s all I have.”_
> 
> _Cullen was silent for a moment, nodding in understanding. “We’ll keep her safe, Hawke,” he promised, then followed her inside._
> 
> _They found the premises being guarded by a surly man with white hair and piercing green eyes, who looked wary until he spotted Hawke. Relaxing, he nodded. “She’s in her room. Isabela’s helping her with the dress, and the dog is up there with them.”_
> 
> _“Were there any problems?”_
> 
> _“None to speak of. Either they don’t yet know where you live, which I doubt, or they’re watching to see what you do before making a move. The Crows aren’t known for premature actions.”_

 

“Even I got to be in this one,” said Michel, looking delighted. “I must make sure they know I can be included. I wonder if they fear giving offense.”

“They keep mentioning the Crows,” Varric commented, pausing again for a drink. “Didn’t they used to be a thing in Antiva?”

“They were,” said Josephine. “They were more than just ‘a thing,’ in fact - they were renowned. They practically ruled Antiva back then.”

“The kids have clearly done their research,” Leliana said, impressed.

“The second they graduate I swear I’m introducing them to my editor. She’ll weep tears of joy.” Varric sounded amused. He glanced at Hawke. “Beth still sleeping?”

“She just texted me a couple of minutes ago to say she’s up and about - probably wants to pull herself together before she puts in an appearance.”

“Sounds like her. Well, let’s have a look at her in the story in the meantime.”

 

 

> _Soon after, a woman in too-tight white leather sauntered down the stairs, heavy gold earrings rustling on either side of her head. “You look like the cat who ate the canary,” Hawke commented._
> 
> _“You’re going to_ hate _what little sister is wearing,” the woman informed her. Glancing at the two detectives, she gave Cullen an admiring second look; Varric could pinpoint the exact second she noticed his wedding ring. “But,” she continued, turning back to Hawke, “it should serve the purpose. Nobody in their right mind will think this is Bethany.”_
> 
> _The sound of barking filled the room, then, as a large mabari warhound made its way down the same stairs. He was followed closely by a woman in red satin, who looked for all the world like she wanted to run back upstairs and trade the dress for flannel pajamas. Bethany Hawke was shorter than her sister, with delicate features and glossy black hair. She was the prettier of the two, Varric thought absently, and didn’t have the same air of defiant confidence. In her hands she carried a blonde wig, evidently the final part of her disguise._
> 
> _“Oh, Bethy.” Hawke chuckled. “Well, you look lovely even when terrified. It’s going to be fine, I promise.” She gestured to their guests. “Detectives Rutherford and Tethras are going to make sure nothing happens to you.”_
> 
> _Bethany managed a weak smile, nodding to the detectives. “It’s nice to meet you both,” she said, “I just wish the circumstances were better.” To Hawke she added, “Is the disguise_ really necessary _, sister?”_
> 
> _“I know you don’t like it. But the Crows are going to be looking for someone matching your description; you need to look as different as possible.”_
> 
> _Bethany sighed and, looking put out in the extreme, popped the blonde wig on her head. “I must look a complete fool,” she grumbled, adjusting the wig over her natural hair._
> 
> _“Nah,” Varric found himself saying. A little surprised by the outburst, he shook his head. “So what’s our next move?”_
> 
> _“Well, I… suppose we get out of Hightown?” Bethany shifted, as if a little unsure what to do. “Go somewhere public?”_
> 
> _“Any ideas?” said Cullen._
> 
> _“Well… there is that club outside of town,” said Varric, thoughtfully. “Adamant. I go there sometimes, we get intel from the bartender – decent bar, nice music.”_
> 
> _Bethany cracked a smile. “Well if the goal is go somewhere they won’t expect me to be, that’s a safe bet. I heard that place is nearly impossible to get into, though.”_
> 
> _“Not if you know people. I can probably get a couple of us in without difficulty.”_
> 
> _“We can’t all go anyway,” Hawke pointed out. “They’ll be expecting you to be with me so I can keep an eye on you, so I can’t go, and Rutherford, you mentioned researching the Crow Venom. I think one of you should take Bethy, and I’ll go with the other one to look into this other stuff.”_
> 
> _“Probably a good idea,” said Cullen, looking impressed. “I can stay with Hawke - I would probably be useless at a club anyway.” He chuckled._
> 
> _Varric blinked. “Uh. Well. All right, but I should… change, in that case.”_
> 
> _“Do you live far?” Hawke asked._
> 
> _“Not terribly. I can be back within the hour.” He wanted to glare at his partner, but didn’t quite dare. This was likely to be awkward._
> 
> _“Want me to give you a lift back?” Cullen offered._
> 
> _“I’m sure I’ll be safe in the time it takes you both to leave and come back,” Bethany added. “I’ll be with sis and Fenris and Isabela, after all.”_
> 
> _“There’s that. Yeah, okay, Curly. We’ll be back as soon as possible - try not to have too much fun without us.” Varric followed Cullen out to the car, feeling oddly twitchy._
> 
> _“I’m glad Hawke agreed to research the Crow Venom,” Cullen was saying as they walked out. “It seems like she has resources we don’t even know about. Maybe she can…” His voice trailed off abruptly as he watched his partner. “Is something wrong?”_
> 
> _“You sure you wouldn’t rather take her to the club? I mean, yeah, research is kind of your thing, but I… have not taken anybody anywhere in quite some time.” Varric shook his head. “Never mind. I’m overthinking this. It’s just a job.”_
> 
> _“Just a job,” Cullen agreed. But he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as he glanced at Varric from the corner of his eye. “Not exactly the ‘babysitting’ assignment we were expecting though, is it?”_
> 
> _“The way her sister talked, I was expecting a teenager,” the older detective admitted. “Not - what do you think she is? 25?”_
> 
> _“25, 26,” Cullen guessed, nodding. “You never really stop being ‘the baby sibling’ when it comes to the opinion of your elder siblings, though, so it makes sense Hawke wants to protect her.”_
> 
> _“I’ll take your word for it. My older brother would have sold me for car parts if he’d gotten a good enough offer.” Varric shrugged._

 

The real Varric paused, and laughed. “That’s actually true, I wonder how they know that. I could absolutely see Bartrand trading me for a decent transmission.”

“As we’ve said before, those two know everything.” Cassandra chuckled.

“And it’s possible they may have heard us talking at some point,” said a new voice as Bethany, smiling, entered the room. “Sorry I’m late - but I hear it’s storytime.”

“You just missed your introductory scene,” said her husband. “I’ll have to let you read the whole thing later, but I strongly suspect that our favorite student authors are setting you and me up for an awkward romance.”

“Why am I not surprised?” she said playfully. “Marian’s text said it’s a noir story based on _Hard in Hightown._ So am I the ingenue who steals your hard-boiled heart?” She giggled.

“Looks like it.” He squinted at her for a moment, then shook his head. “Nope. Just can’t picture you in a blonde wig.”

“A blonde wig?” She peered over his shoulder. “All right, I’ve _definitely_ got to see this.”

“Let’s find out where this goes, then.”

 

 

> _Varric returned about half an hour later, having put on his best suit and scraped his square jaw with a razor. He felt ill at ease, sort of like the sensation of being in line for an amusement park attraction that he’d just as soon not ride; it was a thrill of nausea coupled with an undercurrent of something he couldn’t identify._
> 
> _“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said, once the man called Fenris had admitted him to the house again. He took off his hat as he entered the main sitting room. “Do you need anything before we go?”_
> 
> _“No, nothing comes to mind,” said the younger Hawke, looking up. She paused for a beat, then smiled. “You look very nice, Detective,” she said brightly._
> 
> _He blinked a couple times, as though suddenly confronted with a blinding light. “...thanks. Uh. You too. Well, let’s get going then.” He looked at Hawke, feeling more at ease with the elder sister. “You two find anything important, have Curly text me right away.”_
> 
> _“Of course,” Hawke said. She looked faintly amused, as did Cullen, as if the two were privy to some hilarious joke of which the others weren’t aware. “You two have fun. And be careful.”_
> 
> _“I’ll guard her with my life.” That didn’t sound ominous or anything._
> 
>  
> 
> _Thus, in short order Varric’s car was speeding out of the city and in the direction of the club. “Interesting place, this,” he said. “It’s kind of a throwback to the last age; all the performers and servers and whatnot are in period costume and the songs are all from that time frame. Decent setup and the bartender sometimes has useful info.”_
> 
> _She nodded. “I’m sure it will be fascinating,” she said, checking her lipstick in the visor mirror with a look of uncertainty. She fell silent after that for a few moments before sighing and glancing at Varric. “You seem… on edge, Detective. Well, then again, I suppose I do as well, don’t I?”_
> 
> _“Little bit. But you’re within your rights. Don’t mind me, I just take my job very seriously.” He spared her a brief glance. “You’re stuck with me for the night; might as well call me Varric.”_
> 
> _“All right, then, Varric it is.” She rubbed her palms together, as if considering something. “Is my… is my sister going to be all right?” she said at last. “I’m afraid she may have bitten off more than she can chew this time.”_
> 
> _“Don’t you worry, Sunshine, we’re going to make sure nothing happens to either one of you.” The nickname slipped out so easily; they always did. This one wasn’t mocking like his nicknames often were, however. “Curly - my partner - he’s one of the best. She’s in good hands.”_
> 
> _“I certainly hope so. She always says I’m all she has, but she’s all I have too.” She turned away, fussing with the synthetic strands of the wig, then slowly turned back. “So... you like to call people by nicknames, don’t you? Like your partner, Detective Rutherford, is ‘Curly.’”_
> 
> _“Old habit. Does it bother you?”_
> 
> _“Oh! Oh, no, not at all. I just… ‘Sunshine’.” She repeated the new moniker, her lips curling into a smile. “I wasn’t expecting it. But I like it.”_
> 
> _“I usually don’t think about them too much. The whole process runs purely on instinct,” he explained. “Something that strikes me about a person when I first meet them. Usually it’s got something to do with how a person looks, like my partner being Curly because of his hair. Sometimes it’s a little deeper than that.”_
> 
> _“And I’m ‘Sunshine’?” she asked again, as if this were unfathomable. “I don’t feel very sunny here of late…”_
> 
> _“Well, there must be something sunny about you to make me call you that. Like I said, instinct.” He flashed her what he hoped was a reassuring grin. “Besides, it’s probably safer if I don’t use your real name in public - just in case.”_
> 
> _“That’s a good point.” She returned the smile and sat up a bit straighter. “At least for today, then, I’ll do what I can to bring the sun with me.”_
> 
> _“Something tells me you don’t have to try very hard.” He pulled the car into the club’s parking deck. “Here we are.” Turning off the ignition, he looked at her seriously. “It’s gonna be okay. Just… relax, and try to have a good time.”_
> 
> _She nodded at that, looking a bit like she was deliberately trying to steel herself. “I know it probably sounds silly, but somehow I believe you when you say that… that it’s going to be okay.” She took a deep breath. “And I’ll try to enjoy, I promise.”_
> 
> _“That’s the spirit. Look, you’re young, beautiful, and probably like catnip to the guys in there. Enjoy it. I’ll make sure nobody bothers you if you don’t want them around.” He got out of the car and moved around to open her door for her._
> 
> _She smiled at the gesture and climbed out of the car carefully, clearly unaccustomed to the shoes she was wearing. “Honestly? I get the feeling I’d much rather spend the evening with you.”_
> 
> _Genuinely startled, even as he gave her his arm to steady her, Varric uttered a bark of laughter. “Sunshine, I’m flattered, but entirely too old for you. Old and jaded and I have a face that was made for radio.”_
> 
> _She chuckled at that, a warm sound. “And I think you give yourself too little credit,” she protested. “Let me be the judge of how I want to spend the evening. Deal?”_
> 
> _“Far be it from me to argue with a lady.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Varric supposed he couldn’t really fault the bartender for the shocked look on his face as they approached. “Evening, Krem,” he said. “Sunshine, what’ll you have?”_
> 
> _“Oh, uh…” She pondered the question, but seemed to come up empty. “Whatever you recommend is fine by me.”_
> 
> _He nodded. “Two of my usual then, please.”_
> 
> _“Coming right up, Mr. T.”_
> 
> _“Any scuttlebutt?” the detective asked in a lower tone._
> 
> _“I’m hearing rumors that the Crows are in town,” Krem replied, his own voice equally low. “Nobody seems to know why, but I’d keep my eyes peeled if I were you. None in here tonight, though… that changes, I’ll give you a signal.”_
> 
> _“Thanks.” Varric took the glasses and gave Bethany a nod. “How about that booth in the corner? Backs to the wall and a nice view of the stage.”_
> 
> _“Sounds perfect. I’ll follow you.” She smiled at the bartender in thanks, still looking a bit unsure of herself as she glanced around. She wore the faintly haunted expression of someone who had had to spend too long looking over her shoulder._
> 
> _He watched her for a moment, frowning slightly as they slid into the booth. On the stage, a gorgeous redhead in a sparkling purple dress poured herself onto a stool and beckoned to a hulking bearded man. As the piano started to play, they launched into a sultry duet._

 

“Well, we just found Leliana,” Josephine broke in, grinning.

“Of course I would be the chanteuse,” Leliana said, laughing merrily. “And it seems I’m not alone in that role.” Her gaze drifted over to Bull.

“We should try a duet sometime for real,” he teased her. “And hey, no surprise that Krem is the helpful bartender.”

“No surprise indeed,” Dorian agreed, chuckling. “I’m sure he enjoyed having a cameo - I know his role in ‘Accidentally In Matrimony’ was an inspiring one.”

“To tremendous effect,” Evvy added with a smile. “So… how do you suppose the lovely ingenue will end up stealing the detective’s heart? Bethany?”

“I’m not sure, but I’m very curious,” Bethany said in a tone of eager delight. “Maybe they’ll get into some danger together and have to help each other out of a tight spot? I don’t know. It looks like she needs to show him the good in the world or some such. I wonder how she’ll manage it.”

“She seems to like him already, if I’m not misinterpreting those signals she’s giving him,” Josephine remarked. “That was quick.”

“She can clearly already see the good in _him_ ,” said Bethany, smiling in Varric’s direction. “Probably has something to do with him making her feel safe, and the fact that he can see the light in her even when she can’t see it in herself. Or, you know, so I surmise.” Her lips twitched.

Varric shot her an amused and affectionate glance. “Something like that, I suspect. Let’s see where it goes.”

 

 

> _The duo was well suited, and were accompanied by an Antivan dame decked in gold playing the piano. Bethany listened with rapt attention, leaning on her folded hands. The dim lights of the club glistened faintly on the strands of her wig and made her brown eyes glint like two stolen gemstones. After a moment, her gaze swiveled to Varric and her lips twitched into a shy, almost coquettish smile. “I don’t suppose you dance, do you, Detective?”_
> 
> _Some sort of alarm was ringing in the back of Varric’s mind, and he took a drink to buy himself some time. “I, uh… I’m not… much of a dancer, no,” he managed. “Are you?”_
> 
> _“A bit. I think I_ like _to dance more than I’d necessarily say I’m_ good _at it.” She chuckled. “But I never say no - especially not with the right partner.”_
> 
> _“Ah.” She was fishing like it was the first day of trout season, and he eyed the lure with his usual cynicism. “Maybe next song. So.” Maker, he was worse at this than Captain Hendallen had been with her husband. “Tell me about yourself.”_
> 
> _“Me?” She slowly traced the rim of her glass as if in thought. “You know I’m the Champion of Kirkwall’s sister, of course - sometimes I ran with her and her friends, trying to clean up the city’s mean streets. Compared to that, anything I say probably sounds mundane.” She chuckled again. “But I have a head for fashion too, design my own clothes from time to time. It’s nice to have a pretty hobby when so much of the world is dark.”_
> 
> _He nodded. He could respect that. She had a brain in that pretty head, unlike some of the dolls he’d met in the past. But to be fair, he’d met plenty of empty-headed male muscle too. “Your sister is friends with my boss,” he said abruptly, wondering why it had taken him so long to put those puzzle pieces together. “How come she didn’t just ask the captain for help?”_
> 
> _“She did,” Bethany said. “Captain Hendallen suggested you and your partner. She seems to think you can get the job done where they can’t.”_
> 
> _“Oh.” He wasn’t entirely sure how to interpret that. The captain was by no means negligent when it came to acknowledging that her men and women did good work, but to have been recommended for something like_ this _was… different. Varric wasn’t even sure why it was different; it just had a faintly surreal quality to it, like when a major holiday falls on a weekday and you spend the rest of the week trying to figure out what day it is._

 

“Okay, that might be my favorite analogy in here so far,” said the real Varric, chuckling.

“The fishing one was good too.” Blackwall laughed. “They’ve certainly got the whole ‘overdramatic noir analogies’ thing down.”

“The best part is that while they _are_ overdramatic,” said Bull, thoughtfully, “they’re not wrong. You actually understand exactly what they’re trying to convey.”

“That’s true,” Hawke agreed. “I know what they mean about that whole ‘holiday on weekday’ thing. It _is_ an odd feeling.”

“Yes, last Summersday I constantly felt like I was running a full day behind,” Josephine agreed. “There’s no other way to put it.”

“Our budding authors certainly can turn a phrase.” Dorian chuckled. “We may have to start using some of these analogies in our everyday parlance.”

Evvy chuckled. “Rory would die.”

“That’s what she said when she found out that Cullen enjoys your recording of Genitivi on account of their first story,” Leliana recalled, laughing.

“Oh, Maker’s breath.” Cullen shook his head, but gave a slight laugh himself.

“A treacherous labyrinth…?” His wife’s eyes twinkled.

“Quite. One of iced-over waterways, even.” He laughed again. “I may have to listen to that recording when this is over.”

“Get a room,” said Blackwall, snickering.

“And on that note, back to the story,” said Varric, winking at Bethany.

 

 

> _Back at the Hawke residence, the Champion and Cullen were going over everything they could find about the Crows and their mysterious venom. “Mostly what I was able to offer you was the fact that they’re responsible,” Hawke explained. “I have a friend, a Chantry brother who witnessed enough for me to piece it together. He’s gone underground until this is all over.”_
> 
> _“That’s a shame - we can use all the help we can get,” said Cullen, shutting the lid of his laptop with a sigh. “Does this friend of yours have any idea why the Crows came after the sword in the first place? Such a valuable artifact is bound to attract attention, after all. Surely there are easier targets.”_
> 
> _“That’s what neither he nor I could figure out,” Hawke admitted. She leaned back in her chair, pulling on a lock of hair and pouting at it like it owed her money. “They can’t very well sell it - it’s too recognizable. So they must plan to either smelt it down and sell it in a form that_ isn’t _recognizable, or else they intend to keep it. But why?”_
> 
> _“Exactly. The Crows don’t exactly strike me as the types who long for holy artifacts,” he said. “Unless they’re stealing it for someone else.”_
> 
> _“They must be. And that someone must be paying through the nose to get the help of an outfit like the Crows, but who… who would have that kind of coin and the pulsing desire to possess something like this?”_
> 
> _“The list of people who check off both of those boxes can’t be_ that _large,” Cullen said with a note of that youthful optimism the mean streets had yet to steal from him. “It’s a start.”_
> 
> _Hawke frowned, the space between her eyebrows scrunching like the mouth of a child who has just eaten an anchovy by mistake. “Maybe we should approach this backwards,” she offered. “Come up with reasons why someone would engineer a heist like this. If we can find the motive, that should narrow down the likely suspects.”_
> 
> _“That’s a good plan,” Cullen said, regarding Hawke over his reading glasses. “You seem to know a lot about the process behind this. Were you ever law enforcement yourself?”_
> 
> _“Only unofficially. I_ am _the Champion of Kirkwall, for some reason. Your police chief is an old friend of mine.” She shrugged. “I’ve helped her out a time or two in the past.”_
> 
> _“Well, unofficial or not, if Captain Hendallen trusts you, that’s quite the endorsement.” He smiled, then turned his attention back to their research. “So, let’s see what we can find on motive. Maker knows this city has enough crooks - and the worst crooks are the ones in positions of power - so I’m sure someone would be willing to steal a sword to feather their cap.”_
> 
> _“The person behind it all must plan to do something with the sword. Either they’ll keep it for themselves, or they’ll hold it for ransom, or they’ll destroy it,” Hawke decided. “Those seem to be the most likely possibilities, at least in my mind.”_
> 
> _“I would agree. And if they have enough money to throw around to accomplish that goal, the best bet would be to start at the top where the people with the gold are.”_
> 
> _“Like, say, the district attorney’s office in the Gallows?”_
> 
> _“Not a bad place to start,” he said, shrugging slightly. “I say it’s time to go stick our noses where they aren’t wanted and see what we can find.”_
> 
> _“Oh,_ you _I like. Let’s go.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _The song was ending and Varric was not convinced that dancing was something he ought to be doing. Of course, he was supposed to look like he was on a date with this girl, so bringing her to a dance club and not dancing might be a large hint to anyone paying attention that things weren’t what they seemed. He already looked as out of place as a nug in a sports bar; it was probably wise to at least try to blend in. That’s what he told himself, anyway, knocking back the last of his drink. “All right, I did say next song,” he said, nodding toward the singers. “Would you like to dance?”_
> 
> _Bethany smiled in something almost like triumph. She paused, listening as the song started. “I_ have _always loved this song,” she said impishly. “It would be my pleasure, detec- Varric.”_
> 
> _“Don’t say that until you’ve actually seen me dance,” he replied, sliding out of the booth and leading her onto the dance floor. “I’ll try not to step on you too much.”_
> 
> _“I have every confidence in your abilities.” She chuckled, settling into position in his arms. “And if you get lost, you can always follow me.”_
> 
> _“Funny, I’ve heard that line before… but you seem like the kind of light a man might really want to follow, Sunshine,” he mused. He shook his head. “That didn’t sound right. Never mind.”_
> 
> _“Nonsense, it sounded just fine to me.” Her smile was luminous. “If my role is to be the light in the darkness, well, I think that would be all right by me.”_
> 
> _“Guess somebody has to do it,” he said, a bit gruffly. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a mess like this, anyway?”_
> 
> _“I’ve got my sad story, same as anyone.” She sighed a bit as they swayed. “My family and I came to Kirkwall from Ferelden a few years ago - and lost both my father and my brother around that same time. After that, my sister and I did everything we could to give our mother the life she deserved. Now Mother’s gone too, and all Marian and I have left is each other.”_
> 
> _“And then she got mixed up in this crisis and you’re paying the price. You two have been through a lot already.” Sometimes the Maker just didn’t play fair, he reflected. “You ought to be… I don’t know, off designing a fashion line or breaking a couple dozen hearts or something. Not dealing with this garbage. That’s for old cynics like me.”_
> 
> _She smiled a little. “Well, the fashion line does sound nice. Maybe someday. But until then, someone needs to look after my sister while she’s busy looking after everyone else. And besides, I don’t like waiting around for everyone else to clean these messes up. Other people always took the risks to keep me safe - the least I can do is take some of my own.”_
> 
> _“Nice girls like you shouldn’t have to take risks.” It was starting to really bother him how much he actually meant that. “The world is a hard, ugly place. Soft things should be safe. Protected.” Okay, that was it - no more chili after 9 p.m. It was clearly messing with his ability to say things plainly._
> 
> _Bethany gave a tiny snort of laughter. “I’m not exactly a ‘soft thing’. Softer than my sister, certainly. Maybe softer than a lot of people in this city, and perhaps more optimistic - perhaps foolishly so, at times. But never soft if I can help it.” She flashed him a mischievous grin._
> 
> _“I don’t know… you’re hands down the softest thing I’ve encountered in a long time, kid. But don’t listen to me, I’m old and tired and cranky.”_
> 
> _She gave a more genuine laugh at that. “No, no, not old and cranky. Maybe a little tired, that much I’ll allow. But certainly not old. And not too terribly cranky either, from what I’ve seen.”_
> 
> _“I don’t know what rose-colored contact lenses you’re wearing, but I could use a pair,” he replied. “I’m probably old enough to be your dad.”_
> 
> _“I doubt that very much.” She laughed again. “I’m not exactly a child, even if Marian does call me her ‘baby’ sister.”_
> 
> _“You’re what, 22?”_
> 
> _“You can go ahead and add a few more years to that guess. Try 27. I’m a big enough girl to tie my own shoelaces and everything,” she teased._
> 
> _“All right, I do stand corrected. I’m not_ quite _old enough to be your dad,” he replied, amused. “I mean, I guess it’s technically possible to become a father at twelve, but that’s beside the point.” Well done on keeping sight of what’s important in this conversation, he told himself. “You’re older than you look.”_
> 
> _“I get that a lot. Maybe it’s my ‘sunny’ disposition that keeps me looking young.” She chuckled. “So you’re 39, then? How long have you been a detective?”_
> 
> _“About a hundred years, give or take. Maybe that’s just how it feels,” he amended. “Joined the force straight out of college.” He shrugged. “It pays the bills and keeps the streets a little cleaner. I’ll take what I can get.”_
> 
> _“It must be a hard life - especially in a city like Kirkwall. I think it takes an exceptional person to do what you do, Varric, truly.”_
> 
> _“Oh, I don’t know. Seems like anybody could do it if they wanted to do it… it’s just that most people aren’t interested. Still not sure how we got Curly, if you want to know the truth.” The song, he realized vaguely, was ending, and he started guiding Bethany back to their table. “Happily married, cute kids, well educated, and way too sweet for a cop. He should have been a kindergarten teacher or something.”_
> 
> _She laughed at that; for such a hard-boiled fella, Varric had somehow made her laugh more times since they arrived than he could have expected. “It’s an impulse to help people, I suppose - it manifests itself in all sorts of ways. For the two of you, it called you to do this. I admire that.”_
> 
> _“You make it sound better than it is.” Varric was torn between amusement and resignation. “To me, it’s just something I do every day that gives me a reason to get out of bed. Like I said to Curly just this morning, it’s probably what I’ll keep doing every day until I drop dead.”_
> 
> _“That… I think that would be a very lonely life,” she said, sounding rather deliberately casual._
> 
> _He shrugged. “It is what it is. You didn’t come here to listen to me, Sunshine. You want another drink?”_
> 
> _“I would love one.” She nodded. “Oh, and technically, I came here to get out of Hightown - that mission’s been accomplished, so the rest of the evening is me doing what I want. And what I want is to listen to you.”_
> 
> _“Can’t imagine why.” He smiled, however. There was something about the girl that made talking to her feel strangely comfortable, like stretching out a muscle he hadn’t noticed had grown tense and stiff. “Another of the same? Or do you want something different?”_
> 
> _She pondered that for a moment, popping her red lips in thought. Then she smiled. “Surprise me.”_
> 
> _“Back in a minute.” He forced a cheerful look until he was out of her sight, putting their empty glasses on the bar. “Krem, what do you recommend as a follow-up drink for the lady? She said to surprise her and I’m not really good at that.”_
> 
> _“Surprise her, eh? Let’s see…” He studied the wall of bottles behind him, before settling on one and pouring. He watched Varric as he did so. “Everything all right? You seem… dunno, not yourself. Like something’s bothering you - more than usual.”_
> 
> _“Eh… I’m not good at this whole thing.” He gestured vaguely toward the table. “Plus I’m on the job, which makes it weirder. I’ll be fine, kid, thanks. Let me have another of my usual.”_
> 
> _“You got it, detective.” He procured the drink in short order and handed it to Varric. “Oh, and for what it’s worth, it seems like she’s having a good time. I’d say you’re doing all right.”_
> 
> _“Appreciate it.” He left a decent tip in the jar and headed back to the table, his mind still churning like the Waking Sea in a storm._
> 
> _Bethany’s mouth had scrunched in a frown by the time he returned. Her lips twitched into some semblance of a smile as she thanked him for the drink, but the shadow of the frown still remained. “Those men…” she said quietly, nodding to one corner of the bar, “I don’t like how they’re looking at me.”_
> 
> _Immediately Varric felt his hackles rise. He peered in the direction she indicated, eyes narrowed. “All right, time for a little performance,” he muttered. “Sip your drink, and act like what I’m saying is hilarious and charming.” He settled his own features into a carefully suave expression, smiling at her. “We’ll finish the drinks and make our way to the door, nice and natural.”_
> 
> _“Probably a good plan - although I will admit I was hoping we could steal another dance. Some other time, I suppose.” She smiled, and sipped her drink as told. “Mm, well, the drink is good.” Following instructions, she waited a beat and then laughed, batting Varric’s hand playfully as if he had just made the most delightful and witty comment on the Maker’s earth._
> 
> _“I’m not actually sure what it is,” he admitted. “Asked the barkeep to recommend something he thought you’d like. He says you look like you’re having a good time, which means he’s been looking over here. I can slip him your number sometime if you want.” That notion left a vaguely unpleasant taste in his mouth, like when you’re eating jelly beans and you accidentally take a black one because the light makes it look green._
> 
> _“He’s certainly handsome, but I don’t think he’s quite the right fit for me. Besides, I’m sure he has plenty of admirers.”_
> 
> _“You’re not wrong,” Varric agreed. He leaned in as though whispering suggestively in her ear. “We’ll slip out in a minute or two and make for the car. I know a couple other places outside the city where we can kill time, maybe check in with your sister. Hopefully they’ll have found something.”_
> 
> _“All right,” she agreed, her fingers gently stroking his stubbled cheek as she spoke. She did her best not to look over at the men in the corner, and just hoped they were taking in this scene._
> 
> _What was with this dame? He felt the cheek under her fingers grow hot, and had to fight the urge to pull away. It was all for show, after all; just a masterful bluff in the game of Wicked Grace that was the whole evening. But he realized, noticing the way the club lights make her eyes sparkle, that he was going to fall like a house of cards if he didn’t watch himself._
> 
> _For the requisite two minutes, she took her eyes off of him only to sip at the liquid in her glass. Otherwise, she watched him as if trying to puzzle him out, her fingers dancing over his knuckles or her thumb ghosting across his lips. Then, she propped her elbow on the table, leaning into her palm as she studied him. “As wonderful as this evening has been so far, maybe we should make our exit,” she said at last, blinking languidly like a drowsy-eyed starlet from a silent movie._
> 
> _“Sounds like a good idea, Sunshine.” He put on his hat and stood, offering her a hand. “I have some ideas about where to go from here.”_
> 
> _“I look forward to finding out what they are.” She slipped her hand into his and pressed close to his side as they made their exit, as if hoping sheer proximity to him would protect her._
> 
> _She was rattled; he could practically smell it. Trying to reassure her, he released her hand and wrapped an arm firmly around her shoulders. “Just giggle,” he advised in low tones. “Or act like you’re whispering in my ear. You’re a pretty good actress.”_
> 
> _Clearly deciding both suggestions suited her, Bethany giggled, then turned and whispered, “Who’s to say it’s all an act?”_
> 
> _“I - heh…” Varric loosened his tie with his free hand, wondering why it felt so much like he was choking. “Gotta say, Sunshine, this is probably the most interesting night of work I’ve ever had.”_
> 
> _“Good, I aim to please,” she said teasingly, a slight smile curling her lips. But the smile quickly evaporated at the sound of footsteps behind them. “I think… I think we have company.”_

 

“Bethany, you’re practically a _femme fatale_ ,” Evvy teased her.

“I know, I love it!” Bethany laughed. “I would never picture myself in that type of role, but it’s wonderfully creative - especially playing off of Varric’s gruff detective.”

“Story-me is a little more freaked out by all of this than I would have expected,” Varric noted, chuckling. “Of course, it’s probably not every day that story-me has beautiful women throwing themselves at him. Unlike real me.”

“Ugh, Varric.” Cassandra rolled her eyes with one of her trademark noises of disgust. Bethany, on the other hand, merely giggled.

“Hey, just because you don’t _see_ it, General, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen,” he retorted. For his wife he had only a mischievous grin.

“I’m sure,” Cass retorted, her tone dry. “Anyway, let me know if you need a break - I’m happy to take a turn reading.”

“Actually, that would be great, thanks. Judging by the sheer size of this paper pile, this story’s going to be a long one.” He passed her the sheets of story.

“I doubt any of us will complain about that fact.” She laughed, then cleared her throat to start reading.

 

 

> _Cullen did not particularly like the Gallows, but that wasn’t the fault of the building - it lay entirely at the feet of the people who worked there, and thus he had a vaguely pained look on his face as he and Hawke made their way up the stairs. “I just pray their information is useful,” he muttered as they entered, more to himself than to her._
> 
> _“There’s got to be at least_ something _we can learn,” she pointed out, pragmatically, “even if it’s that nobody here is responsible. An absence of information is sometimes more telling than an abundance of it.”_
> 
> _“Very true. Although it wouldn’t surprise me to learn they were involved somehow - even if they just have some passing knowledge of the crime. We’ve encountered the judge and several of the attorneys here in various cases and in… various situations. Said situations have never been pleasant, to say the least.” But he would force himself to remain as impartial and unbiased as possible. He was here to do a job, and that’s what he was going to do, come hell or high water._
> 
> _When they arrived, an icy receptionist saw them into the main office where they could speak to the judge and the head district attorney. As soon as Cullen and Hawke’s arrival was announced, the judge waved the receptionist off and turned to face the pair with a smirk like she had the winning hand in Wicked Grace._
> 
> _If life was a painting, Judge Meredith Stannard wasn’t much of a painter. She had only two colors on her palette - black and white - and she tended to paint everyone with the same brush. For her, the line between guilty and innocent was a thin one, and the line between “cruel and unusual punishment” and just a regular afternoon was nonexistent. “Detective Rutherford,” she said coolly. “I see you brought a guest.” To Hawke, she added, “It's nice to see you, Champion.”_
> 
> _“Likewise, Your Honor,” Hawke replied calmly. “We appreciate your taking the time to help us with this matter. I know how devout you are, so I’m sure you understand the importance of our errand.”_
> 
> _“Of course. You are doing the Maker’s work, surely.” She leaned forward to light a cigarette, letting the smoke wreath her head. “Please, sit down. Can I get you anything?” Her gaze roved to Cullen. “I know you’re fond of coffee, Detective, I can have Samson fetch some for you.” She indicated the district attorney with a nod._
> 
> _“No, I’m fine,” Cullen replied tersely. “I’d rather we get down to business if that’s all right, Your Honor.”_
> 
> _“I’m looking forward to you doing your job so I can do mine, Rutherford,” rasped the DA. “Bringing these heathens to justice is going to be a rare treat for me.”_
> 
> _“Well then, I’m sure you would be more than happy to comply with our inquiry,” said Cullen, and his tone was still tense. “We have reason to believe the sword was taken by the Crows. And since I doubt the Crows have any use whatsoever for a holy artifact, we’re working under the assumption they are working for someone who does. Any ideas on who might want such an object?”_
> 
> _“Interesting theory - and question,” Samson mused. “Must be somebody with a lot of money, which eliminates about half of Kirkwall up front. Can’t say I’ve prosecuted anyone in years who would have that kind of coin.”_
> 
> _“My thoughts exactly. But the poor aren’t the only ones who commit crimes in Kirkwall - the ones with power, money, and influence are often the most crooked.” He glared at Samson and Meredith in turn._
> 
> _Samson gave a rough bark of laughter. “And you think - what? If you’ve taken it into your pretty head that I’m involved, Rutherford, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Public servants don’t get paid well enough for this kind of thing.”_
> 
> _“No, no, nothing like that,” said Hawke, surprising Cullen with her sudden tone - placating, almost supplicating, like a stereotypical sitcom wife whose husband just found the credit card bill and is demanding an explanation. “But we thought the two of you would be well-placed to identify anyone of high standing who might know something.”_
> 
> _“Quite the pragmatic suggestion,” Meredith drawled, and seemed to deliberately release a puff of smoke in Cullen’s direction. “And you’re right - I pride myself on knowing the secrets of this city. But that information doesn’t always come cheap.”_
> 
> _“I do hope you aren’t suggesting some form of bribery, Your Honor,” said Cullen._
> 
> _“I’m sure Judge Stannard knows you couldn’t afford that, Rutherford,” Samson replied derisively. “Not with the mouths you have to feed. How is that lovely wife of yours these days, by the by?”_
> 
> _Cullen’s cheek twitched. “She’s fine. Although I don’t recall giving you permission to discuss my family, Samson. I would suggest you not make that mistake again.”_
> 
> _“I was merely inquiring after her health, not for a play-by-play from your bedroom. Touchy, aren’t you?”_

 

“Oooh,” said more than one listening teacher.

Varric chuckled, getting to his feet. “Hold on. We need popcorn for this.” Next to the coffee station was a large cabinet full of assorted supplies and snacks, and he made his way over to it.

“Good idea,” said Leliana, laughing. “I have a feeling the district attorney is seconds away from getting his nose broken.”

“You wouldn’t do that, would you, dear?” Evvy asked teasingly, glancing at Cullen.

“I suppose that depends entirely on how much further he pushes,” Cullen replied, chuckling faintly. “We all know I’m not exactly above throwing a punch for you, darling.”

“True enough,” said Blackwall. “Well, if Varric’s getting popcorn, we’re going to need cold drinks instead of coffee. I’ll run down to the kitchen and get those.”

“And just like that, it’s a party.” Hawke laughed, rubbing her hands together. “I look forward to seeing where this story goes. I wonder if the judge and the DA really do know more than they’re letting on. Probably.”

“Or if they don’t,” added Bull, “they’ll probably have fun pretending they do just to wind up our heroes.”

“That wouldn’t surprise me,” said Cullen. “What _does_ surprise me is that the kids found out about Meredith. But it’s certainly clever, I’ll say that.”

“Well, they learned who Samson and some of the others were the day I read to them while a certain Curly-Cloud was making her debut,” said Varric, returning to his seat with a large quantity of popcorn and several small bowls. “They might have picked Cole’s brain a bit, since he knew more about that sort of thing than they did.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” Cullen nodded, accepting one of the bowls. “And since Samson is included, I wonder if some of the other major players at Venatori Prep will be included.”

“I think that’s very likely,” Josephine mused.

“You're probably right,” said Cassandra. “Let's see.” She gave Blackwall an opportunity to return, then began reading again.

 

 

> _“Now, now, Samson,” Meredith cut in with a smirk before Cullen could even open his mouth. “The good detective is just a little on edge - I'm sure it's difficult to be in his line of work, being away from his family so often.”_
> 
> _“Likely,” said Hawke mildly. “Perhaps we can return to the issue at hand, so that he’s able to at least get home in time to say good night. Can you think of anyone who could possibly be responsible for this crime against Andraste herself?”_
> 
> _“Well, I can tell you that you're wasting your time here,” the judge replied, snuffing her cigarette in an ashtray made of blood red crystal, probably worth more than Cullen made in a week. “We are the Maker's servants, pillars of righteousness in this city of sinners. Clearly this crime was funded by enemies of the Chantry - try the organized crime bosses or the mob before you darken my door again.”_
> 
> _“As we have noted,” said Hawke, still striving for a pleasant interaction in much the same futile way that a goldfish may strive to turn a doorknob, “the Crows are involved. Is there no one in the upper echelons of society who… fails to compare with your devotion to the Maker?”_
> 
> _Meredith chuckled, a cold, slightly haughty sound. “Plenty. But these types of inquiries, Champion…” She tutted. “These are dangerous inquiries.”_
> 
> _“The danger we face can be no greater than that which was faced by our Lady when she did the Maker’s work.” Hawke’s voice was silky with persuasion. “Should we not show the same courage?”_
> 
> _“Indeed we should, Serah Hawke.” The judge’s lips quirked into a grin. “We are not so different, all of us - we’re all trying to purge this city of the wicked. I can get you what you need, if you give me some time. Just tell your pet detective to heel, won’t you?” She nodded to where Cullen was grinding his teeth._
> 
> _“We are_ very _different from you, Your Honor,” he returned venomously._
> 
> _“Down, boy,” said Hawke, her voice still even. “Any information you can provide us will be useful, Your Honor. We’ll be sure to let the Grand Cleric know how much you assisted the investigation.”_
> 
> _“Of course. We’ll be in touch.” To the DA, she added, “I’m sure between the two of us we can give our… friends… some names, can’t we?”_
> 
> _“Oh, I’m sure we can find_ something _worth knowing.” Samson’s smile was sharp, and wrong in a way that was hard to define, like the word_ smaragdine _._ _“We do live to serve, do we not?”_
> 
> _Meredith chuckled. “We do indeed.”_
> 
> _Cullen gave a derisive snort. “You two are not untouchable, no matter what you may think. When this is over and the sword is found, you’ll be hearing from me again, mark my words.”_
> 
> _“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to threaten your betters, Rutherford?” Samson sneered. “You could learn a thing or two from your new partner.”_
> 
> _“Never mind it. Come on, Cullen, let’s leave them to their work. Thank you very much for your time; it’s been a delight.” Hawke practically dragged the detective out to the street._
> 
> _As soon as they were out of the Gallows, Cullen pulled his arm from Hawke’s grip. “I look forward to the day I can arrest those two. I will cherish the looks on their faces when I do.”_
> 
> _“You and me both, Cullen, but it doesn’t help the investigation to antagonize them before that.” Hawke shook her head. “Believe me, I don’t like them any more than you do. But sometimes you have to put up with horse manure in order to catch flies.”_
> 
> _“A charming turn of phrase, but I get your point,” he grumbled. “With any luck, they’ll have something we can use and this will be over soon.”_
> 
> _“That’s the spirit.” She looked at her watch, and chuckled. “I feel like a parent waiting up for a child who’s being allowed to stay out past curfew. I hope Beth and your partner are all right.”_
> 
> _Cullen likewise managed a chuckle, looking a touch more at ease. “There’s nothing to worry about, Varric will take good care of her. I’m sure they’re fine.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Bethany and Varric were not fine, however. Not entirely. The footsteps Bethany identified had not let up and she gripped Varric’s arm warily._
> 
> _“It’s okay, Sunshine,” he muttered. He was wearing a bulletproof vest; she wasn’t. He needed to get them close to a wall so he could stand in front of her if necessary, and pray to whoever was listening that their pursuers wouldn’t think to aim for his head. “Just keep walking. Not much farther to the car.”_
> 
> _She nodded, trying not to look as tense as she felt. “To the car. Right. And what if they follow us after that?”_
> 
> _He thought a little. “There’s a tunnel leading out to Sundermount,” he said. “I should be able to lose them on the mountain.”_
> 
> _“All right. I trust you. And perhaps we’ll get lucky and they’ll just turn out to be regular drunken ruffians and nothing more.”_
> 
> _“Keep thinking that. Optimism isn’t my strong suit.”_
> 
> _“I’ll do my best.”_
> 
> _The words had no sooner left her lips when behind them a long, low whistle could be heard. “Leaving so soon?” called a voice._
> 
> _Varric turned around slowly, subtly shifting himself between Bethany and the speaker. “Some things just can’t wait,” he said idly. “If she were with you, you’d want to get her home too.”_
> 
> _“Oh, of that I have no doubt.” The stranger chuckled, a sound like nails on a chalkboard. “But my desires are not so provincial. For the most part. You didn’t make it easy to find you, I’ll say that much - clever you, leaving Hightown. Or perhaps not so clever now.”_
> 
> _Varric’s eyes narrowed, staring a hole through the weirdo’s head. He had a slimy, ill-favored look, like something that had crawled out of the Undercity and demanded sentience. He needed to crawl back down there. “Not sure why you’re following me. Did you want an autograph maybe?”_
> 
> _“I have no interest in_ you _whatsoever,” the man said, pointing at Varric. He then turned his attention to Bethany. “_ You _,_ _on the other hand… why do I get the feeling you’re just who we’ve been looking for?”_
> 
> _“Can’t imagine why you’d think that.” Varric was as cool and calm as he could manage under the circumstances. “I somehow doubt you’re looking to get in trouble with Judge Stannard by threatening her favorite niece, now, are you?”_
> 
> _“I’m not threatening anyone - not yet, anyway. I think I’d like to enjoy the view for a little while.” He peered past Varric at Bethany. “But how rude of me, I haven’t introduced myself yet. Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, at your service.” He executed a gentleman’s bow, but he was certainly no gentleman, and the comments that escaped his mouth next would have been considered impolite even at the Blooming Rose._
> 
> _Varric was, for a few seconds, merely frozen in shock at the utter_ filth _which poured from the degenerate’s mouth. Then, behind him, he heard the sharp intake of breath, followed by a tiny sound which might possibly have indicated that Bethany was close to tears. For whatever reason (and he was not about to question it), that was all it took. Before he could think better of it, he watched his thick fist collide with Erimond’s face._
> 
> _With a yelp of pain and shock, Erimond flew backward, sprawling at the feet of the goons who had been flanking him. They scrambled to offer him assistance, which he shook off roughly as he hoisted himself up of his own accord. “Oh, you will pay for that!” he barked, running a hand across his split lip. To his associates, he bellowed, “Well, what are you waiting for? Kill them!”_
> 
> _But before the goons could even draw their weapons, several other shots rang out and Erimond’s men were left moaning in the shadows. Erimond himself fumbled for a gun, until a new speaker cut him off. “Now, now,” scolded the voice, which had a quality like fine velvet, “put away your silly toys before you make yourself look any more foolish than you already have, yes?”_
> 
> _“On your knees,” said Varric, grateful for the interruption which had bought him enough time to draw his own gun. “You’re under arrest.” He pointed the weapon at Erimond’s face, his eyes gleaming a taunt._

 

“And unless I’m wildly mistaken,” said Bull with a grin, “that would be you, _kadan_.”

“Excellent timing with a voice like fine velvet? But of course,” said Dorian, preening slightly. “Who else could it be, after all?”

“Me?” asked Solas, prompting a general chuckle. “I do wonder where I am, but I feel reasonably certain it’s not here.”

“Guess the date portion of events is over, if Sparkler’s around,” said Varric with a wry grin. “Ah well, the course of true love and all.”

“Just think of me as your chaperone,” he remarked with a laugh.

“Now that’s a disturbing picture. Go on, General.”

 

 

> _Erimond glowered at Varric from his place on the garage floor. Varric didn’t particularly care; if he weren’t on the job, he might have kicked the bastard while he was down. Since their new friend was on hand to keep an eye on things, he risked glancing at Bethany. “Are you okay?”_
> 
> _To say Bethany looked shaken was an understatement. Her eyes were a bit wide, as if it would take her a little while to convince them to stop revealing just how shocked she was, and she reached out to hold his arm in an effort to steady herself. But she nodded nevertheless. “I’m fine,” she told him. “Or at least I will be. Promise me you won’t tell my sister?”_
> 
> _“Sure, but why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”_
> 
> _“Oh, I know. But I don’t think I want her to hear it either way. Besides, she’ll probably try to cut the bastard’s tongue out if she does, so it’s probably better if this stays our little secret.”_
> 
> _He chuckled, cuffing Erimond. “Fair enough, Sunshine. Let me just call for some backup to haul these fools away. While I do that, Erimond, I don’t suppose you’d care to give us some intel as to who sent you? Might go easier for you if you sing now.”_
> 
> _Erimond scoffed. “Your petty justice means nothing to me! The man I work for will make you all pay soon enough.”_
> 
> _From where he loomed above the criminal, their new ally merely huffed. “Tevinters like you are the reason we_ all _get a bad reputation in the south,” he said. Twirling his gun, he glanced over at Varric. “Are you sure I can’t just shoot him?”_
> 
> _“Believe me, I’m tempted to let you. But he might be useful, and I’m sort of supposed to avoid killing people if I can help it. You know how it is.” He shrugged. “Thanks for the timely intervention, Mr…?”_
> 
> _“Ah, getting ahead of myself as usual. The name is Pavus. Dorian Pavus, most recently of Minrathous.” He reached up to tip his hat to them both._
> 
> _“Varric Tethras, Kirkwall PD. This is… well, we’ll go over that. What brings you here, though?”_
> 
> _“What brings anyone to a city like Kirkwall?” he mused, his mustache quirking slightly. “I’m here because I’ve heard about this missing holy relic of yours, and I have information you might find useful. Besides, an extra trigger finger never goes amiss - and since leaving my homeland I’ve become something of a vigilante. I can help you both.”_
> 
> _“Ordinarily I’d view a claim like that with a lot more suspicion,” Varric admitted, “but you did just save us so that’s in your favor. Once the boys in blue come and pick up these piles of dirt, we’ll take a drive and you can fill us in on what you know.” He glanced at Bethany again. “I’ll just be over here making the call.”_
> 
> _She nodded, giving him a faint smile. “Go on, I’ll be all right.” She gave his arm a squeeze before releasing it. “Oh, and… thank you for throwing that punch.”_
> 
> _Not quite sure how to respond, he just winked at her before taking a few steps away to call for backup. Fortunately, Captain Hendallen was not one for wasting time, and the flashing lights pulled up to the garage in very short order. Too short, even; Varric couldn’t help suspecting that she’d somehow been keeping an eye on things. She was like a mother hen in some ways, clucking and squawking but always keeping an eye on the good eggs._
> 
> _Within minutes, Erimond and his goons were being bundled none too gently into the waiting squad cars, Erimond still blathering about the glorious plans of his mysterious boss. The captain took in the entire scene, her eyes moving quickly to study the face of all those assembled. “What happened?” she asked simply._
> 
> _“Honestly, Captain, I’m not completely sure I know the answer.” Varric gave her a succinct rundown of events, concluding with introductions. “We’ve got to go find Curly and your friend; maybe they’ve found something by now. Either that or we go deeper into hiding,” he added._
> 
> _She sighed, shaking her head. “I have a feeling this goes deeper than we originally suspected,” she said grimly. “Keep me posted. Carry on.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Several minutes later, the three unlikely allies were in Varric’s car and heading back toward Hightown. “So what do you know about all this?” he asked Dorian._
> 
> _“I’ve heard whispers,” he said, “seen more than a few roving pockets of rogues like Erimond and his lot - they’re all part of a gang known as the Venatori. As a Tevinter who is proud of my nation’s history and believes in what she can become under the proper guidance, I find the world a better place every time I can help there be one less Venatori in it. Hence this.” He indicated his gun. “Now, as for this sword, Certainty - does the name Cory Pheus mean anything to you?”_
> 
> _Varric frowned, peering into the darkness as he drove, and shook his head. “No. Should it?”_
> 
> _“Yes. From what I can gather, he’s wrapped up in this whole plot. He may even be at the heart of it. What I can’t figure out is why…” Dorian’s voice trailed off in frustration for a moment. “What I do know is that one of his closest associates - a woman by the name of Calpernia - is here in Kirkwall.”_
> 
> _“Now that name_ does _ring a bell,” said the detective. “She’s… let me think… right, she’s the receptionist at the Gallows. Works with Judge Meredith and the rest of those types. Probably a bit late for her to be working, though,” he added. “Maybe we should lay low until morning and look for her then.”_
> 
> _“I bow to your opinion in this matter, detective, but I would just remind you time is of the essence,” said Dorian. “To you, she may just be the woman behind the desk at an office, but she has more power and influence in this gang than she would have you know. Regardless, whenever you talk to her, I would like to be there - I’ve come a long way to help stem this tide and I don’t intend to stop now.”_
> 
> _“Fair enough, but you realize it’s close to midnight? We were at that club longer than I realized,” Varric added, glancing at Bethany. She looked tired, he thought. “I have no idea where to find this Calpernia dame outside of business hours, hence my laying low suggestion. Sunshine, you think you’ll feel safe enough to sleep if we take you home? Set up camp in the house?”_
> 
> _She nodded. “I think after the night we’ve had, going home sounds like just the thing.”_
> 
> _Dorian likewise nodded, catching the drift of the conversation. “Of course. My apologies to the lady. I’ve grown too accustomed to working on my own, it seems - kicking down doors, shooting first, not stopping to ask questions. But if we’re working together for a common cause, I will try to be more mindful of my allies in the future.”_
> 
> _“My orders for the night are to make sure nothing happens to the lady,” Varric explained. “I’m assuming that includes collapsing from exhaustion. If I have to sit up all night to play bodyguard, that’s fine.”_
> 
> _Bethany smiled at that, weary but evidently grateful. “Thank you, Varric. I feel safer already.” She reached over to squeeze his knee as he drove._

 

“Sunshine’s getting handsy,” Varric said teasingly. “Maybe they _do_ need a chaperone, Sparkler.”

“See? That’s why I’m there,” Dorian replied, his tone equally full of teasing. “To make sure curfews are kept, and also to look dashing. That part’s less difficult.”

“Well, we were right about the Venatori squad putting in an appearance,” said Blackwall, refilling his glass. “But I have to wonder what they want with the sword.”

“Yes,” said Cassandra. “Are they all in cahoots? Are Samson and Meredith just a red herring? I’m very curious to see.”

“And I can’t help but notice you haven’t had a cameo yet,” Cullen put in.

“I have noticed that myself,” she admitted. “I wonder what I’ll be…”

“Maybe you’re the villain,” Varric teased her.

Cass shrugged. “As long as I’m included. I’ve always wanted to be a character in a story.”

“Duly noted, General.”

“Now, I hate to interrupt, but before we get started again, I really should check on Skye,” Cullen interjected, getting to his feet. “I’ll only be gone a few minutes.” There were a few teasing groans at the forced cliffhanger. “Just a few minutes, I swear!”

“All right, then, Curly,” said Varric. “Baby break, folks. We’ll be right back after these words from our sponsor.”

“Is our sponsor Babies R’ Us?” Blackwall said, chuckling.

“Might as well be,” said Dorian, likewise chuckling.

“Go on, Cullen, we’ll wait for you,” Leliana added. “Although if you’re not back in fifteen minutes, we reserve the right to start without you.”

“I think that’s fair.” Cullen nodded, kissed his wife’s cheek, and hurried from the room.


	5. Still Searching For Certainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Rory's noir assignment, part two. Will our detectives be able to find the sword? Will Detective Tethras finally admit he has feelings for the lovely ingénue he calls Sunshine? Will Solas, Cassandra, and Blackwall get their cameos? And how many more crazy over-the-top noir analogies can possibly be fit into one story? You'll just have to read and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back for the conclusion of "In Search of Certainty", which includes more DA character cameos and the type of crazy plot points you would expect from a noir story.
> 
> Also, just want to give a shout out to some amazing Dragon Age noir art that we found while writing this story and fell in love with. Slight warning, a few pictures are a tiny bit NSFW and a few feature some light blood, some smoking, and the occasional weapon (which you can expect in this chapter too). You know, noir-ish stuff. But they're brilliant and gorgeous and I totally recommend them. Here: [http://therealmcgee.tumblr.com/tagged/dragon-age%3A-noire].

 

* * *

**In Search of Certainty – Part Two**

* * *

Cullen returned to the staff room with just under two minutes to spare, retaking his seat. “All right. Skye’s fine. Fed her and changed her while I was there – she’s asleep now and Cole is in his room working on a poem.”

“So all is well in the Rutherford household,” said Dorian. “And you’re lucky, you got back just in time.”

“All right, so does everyone have food and drinks and comfortable seats?” Varric asked. “I’ll do a recap here – when we last saw our intrepid heroes, Detective Rutherford and the Champion had gotten nothing but a headache from the Hanging Judge and the Amoral Attorney, while Detective Tethras and a girl called Sunshine got into fisticuffs and picked up a sparkly stray. Now they’re heading back to the Hawke estate to rest and hit the ground running in the morning, starting with tracking down ‘this Calpernia dame.’” His lips quirked. “Think it’s that simple?”

There was a resounding chorus of _no_. “When is anything ever that simple?” Bull pointed out, chuckling.

“You’re not wrong there, Tiny,” said Varric. “All right, General, if you would be so kind as to get us back into the action.”

 

 

> _Varric parked the car a few blocks from the Hawke residence and, after helping Bethany out of the vehicle, took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. “Just in case word got out that you’re wearing red, this’ll hide it a little,” he explained. “Besides, it’s turned cold.”_
> 
> _“Oh, this is just what I needed, thank you.” She smiled. “Such a gentleman.”_
> 
> _“I try.” He pointedly ignored what he suspected might be a snicker coming from Dorian’s direction. “Come on, let’s get you home so you can rest.”_
> 
> _They made the walk to the house in relative silence. Cullen had, of course, long since gone home to be with his family, but Hawke was still awake and waiting for them to return. She looked up when they entered, something like relief crossing her face. “Bethy, I…” She paused, her gaze sliding to Dorian. “Who’s this?”_
> 
> _“It’s okay, Hawke, he’s on our side.” Varric explained the situation. “So we’ve got a few of the bastards in custody, at least,” he concluded, “and I figured it was best to let the poor kid get some sleep in her own bed before we started chasing down this receptionist.”_
> 
> _She shook her head. “Damn, if only I had known… we were two feet away from her. Ah, well. I’m glad you brought Beth back here, she’s probably exhausted.” Bethany shrugged slightly in a way that confirmed the statement. “Thank you for keeping her safe tonight.”_
> 
> _“No problem. I hope you had a good time, Sunshine,” he added. “Once you’re set up for bed, I’ll take watch outside your door.”_
> 
> _“All right. I shouldn’t be long.” She handed back his jacket. “Oh, and for what it’s worth, I did have a good time. A very good time.” With one last charming look over her shoulder, she disappeared to go get herself ready._
> 
> _The girl probably broke half a dozen hearts just by walking to and from Chantry services, Varric decided, rubbing the back of his neck. It was going to take some effort to avoid joining the pile. “So what did you and Curly find while we were gone?” he asked, glancing at Hawke._
> 
> _“Not a whole hell of a lot, unfortunately. We managed to get a little research in about this ‘Crow venom’, and we spoke briefly to the DA and Judge Stannard. That went about as well as you’d probably expect.”_
> 
> _“I’m sure you had tea and crumpets and talked about your flower gardens. So nothing, huh?”_
> 
> _“Basically. Everyone threatened each other in the nicest possible way, and the judge promised she and Samson would get us a list of names. I doubt they’ll be helpful names, but we’ll see.” She leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other. “So other than picking up a stray Vint and clubbing some goons, what else did you and Bethy do to pass the time?”_
> 
> _“Eh, she wanted to dance, so we danced a little. Talked. The bartender thought she was pretty, I offered to give him her number.” Varric shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “That’s about it.”_
> 
> _Hawke smirked. “Yeah, people often think Bethany’s pretty, so I’m not surprised. Sounds like you two had an interesting evening.”_
> 
> _“It was all right. She seemed to enjoy it, which is more than can usually be said for these protective details.” He was trying to stick to the facts without mentioning_ all _the facts, sort of like a kid who didn’t technically get caught with his hand in the cookie jar but is pretty sure everybody knows he was pinching extra snickerdoodles._
> 
> _“Mm, yes. My sister doesn’t usually smile at people like that, so I’d say she enjoyed it indeed.” Marian Hawke was the type of dame who would make you confess to her, even if she saw the pilfered cookies right in your hand, so she merely smirked at the detective, looking amused._
> 
> _“She’s a sweet kid.” Varric decided that was the safest place to leave it. Hawke didn’t need to know the details of his interactions with Bethany, and he had promised not to tell her much besides; he could stretch that promise to cover more than it actually entailed. A king-size bed shouldn’t be made up with queen-size sheets, but sometimes you just have to make do._
> 
> _“Mmhmm, that’s what I tell people,” she said, still smirking._
> 
> _A second later, the ‘sweet kid’ in question came back into the room, running a brush through her natural hair, which was now free from its synthetic blonde prison. “Thank you for waiting,” Bethany said to the detective. “Sorry to keep you.”_
> 
> _“No problem. You just let me know when you’re ready to head up and I’ll take position outside.” He paused, thinking. “The window locks from the inside, right?”_
> 
> _She nodded. “They should be high enough up that they can’t be broken from the ground either. At least, I hope.”_
> 
> _“You never know, Sunshine. Crows can fly. I’ll go in ahead of you and just check everything first, if that’s okay.”_
> 
> _“That’s fine, but be careful, okay? I don’t want anything to happen to you.” She looked mildly concerned, before turning to say goodnight to her sister and Dorian._
> 
> _“Don’t worry about me - this is my job,” he assured her. Ignoring any sort of look either of the others might be giving him, Varric followed Bethany upstairs and entered the room she indicated. Neatly kept, he noted; the walls were adorned with sketches he suspected were of the girl’s own making. He examined the window carefully. “Looks secure enough. Just gonna bolt this real tight. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside.”_
> 
> _She nodded, giving him a smile. “Good, I’m glad. And if_ you _need anything while you’re waiting - a drink or something, maybe - Bodahn should be around here somewhere, he can get you what you need. Good night, then.” She leaned in to kiss his cheek._
> 
> _“Uh. Good night,” he managed. He needed to nip this in the bud, he knew… but he was surprised at just how much he didn’t_ want _to nip it in the bud. He stumbled out into the hallway and sat down on a nearby chair, trying to collect his thoughts._

 

“Hook, line, and sinker.” Hawke laughed, elbowing Varric playfully. “You can’t say no to those brown eyes in any universe, can you?”

“Guilty as charged,” he replied amiably, smirking at her. “Story-me seems more confused than anything, though.”

“Real you had a bit of confusion too,” Bethany said sweetly. “It was more complicated than just that, of course, but still.”

“True. Well, given the identity of the authors, ten royals says that someone gets into the dame’s bedroom and story me has to execute a daring rescue.”

“I'm sure the dame would appreciate such a thing.” Bethany chuckled.

“That would be so romantic,” Cassandra enthused. “Let's see what happens.”

 

 

> _For a long time, all was quiet. Hawke went to bed; the manservant Bodahn came and went intermittently, occasionally bringing Varric a cup of coffee or pastry; Dorian took a post in the upper library, within shouting distance. All seemed well. Varric almost dozed off._
> 
> _And then he heard it._
> 
> _It was very subtle - a faint scratch, like a pencil tracing over a sheet of paper - but his senses were instantly on the alert. His gun found its way into his hand without his really knowing how, and by the time he had the bedroom door open, he was completely awake and furiously, incomprehensibly angry._
> 
> _The room was still - almost eerily so - and looked untouched... but there was a sensation of movement, like the feeling when a portrait’s eyes seem to follow you as you walk. Sure enough, lurking in the shadows was one of the Crow assassins, his face obscured by a mask. Bethany was still asleep, but she awoke as Varric opened the door and blinked in confusion. “Varric? What…?”_
> 
> _“Don’t move, Sunshine,” he rasped, pointing his gun at the darkness. “All right, bird, start singing. You have five seconds before I pull the trigger.”_
> 
> _Bethany recoiled at the sudden sound of the strange man’s voice, which was low and heavily Antivan accented. “What is there to say, my friend? You’ve been warned by the Crows to let this matter drop and still you persist. I’m almost a little impressed.”_
> 
> _“I’m a cop. It’s kind of what we do.” Varric moved to shield Bethany from view. “Now, nobody has to die here. You tell me what you know and I’ll make sure they go easy on you.”_
> 
> _“So my options consist of being arrested or crawling back to my very unsympathetic fellows? What a generous offer,” the assassin said dryly._
> 
> _“You’ll have to excuse me, but I’m not letting you kill anybody here. So you turn state’s evidence,” Varric continued, “and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”_
> 
> _The assassin pondered that, resting his weapon as he did so. Bethany took the opportunity to scramble from the bed and hurried to Varric’s side instead. “Hmm…” said the Crow at last. “I suppose the best way to evade my fellow Crows is to see them carted off like the criminals they are. Very well, I will help you - but you do know you are playing with forces far beyond a stolen sword and some guns for hire, yes?”_
> 
> _“I figured that was the case. But this has gotten bigger than me or anyone else.” Varric shrugged. “For all I know, eternity’s at stake. Let’s just say I’m not comfortable taking chances. So what’s going on?” He paused and glanced up as both Dorian and Hawke came on the run to see what was going on; apparently they’d been louder than he realized. He gestured to the Crow and remarked, “Caught something.”_
> 
> _“‘Something?’ My dear man, I may be an assassin, but I am not without dignity. My name is Zevran and I hope you understand this is nothing personal.”_

 

Cassandra was forced to pause as Leliana started to laugh. “Oh, it’s Zevran! The kids must have seen him at the Exalted Age faire!”

“Ah, I wish I had gone along.” Michel chuckled. “Every time you mention the trip, it sounds like such fun!”

“We didn’t get a chance to go this year because of the wedding preparations,” said Varric apologetically. “Next year for sure, Champion.”

“Zevran danced with me,” Evvy recalled. “I showed Jim and Rory a video of him on YouTube after the faire - they mentioned they were doing a story set in that time and were looking for things from Crestwood to watch. I wonder if it was the one they gave you two as a wedding present.”

“That explains it then. They must have decided he would be a good assassin.” Leliana laughed again. “Oh, I must ask them if I can email this to him - he would get such a laugh from it.”

“He’s not that good if Varric caught him,” said Bull, chuckling. “Think he’ll flip on his employers for real, or just lie to save himself?”

“You know, it is actually historical fact that if Crow assassins failed, _their_ lives were forfeit,” said Josephine. “The kids certainly did their research. So I think Ser Zevran will use the information he has to make sure the other Crows are caught before they can go after him.”

“Makes sense. All right, Cass, let’s hear what he has to say.” Bull reached over and refilled Dorian’s glass before stealing some of his popcorn.

“Away with you.” Dorian chuckled, swatting Bull’s hand affectionately. “Yes, let’s continue before all my food has been pilfered.”

 

 

> _Hawke was clearly livid that the assassin had found his way into the house in the first place, but she let him say his piece. In addition to having the names of the other Crows who had participated in the heist, he confirmed Dorian’s thinking that this mysterious Cory Pheus had hired the Crows in the first place. “I don’t know much about this Calpernia woman,” said Zevran when he had finished his own description and listened to them speak, “or any of these other people you suspect may be involved. But if she can lead you to Cory Pheus, you would be wise to speak to her.”_
> 
> _“Good, we’re on the right track,” said Hawke irritably. “I’ll go call Captain Hendallen to come and collect… him. Nothing personal,” she added in a voice that fell on the ears like acid. “I always act like this toward men who sneak into my baby sister’s bedroom with ill intent.”_
> 
> _“I would expect nothing less, serah,” Zevran replied, bowing deeply. He turned to Bethany. “For what it’s worth, you seem a decent girl - I’m almost pleased I failed. You’re very lucky your detective friend was on hand, my dear woman.”_
> 
> _“Just doing my job,” Varric replied gruffly. “Hawke, does this house have any windowless rooms? Maybe that’s a better plan for the rest of the night.”_
> 
> _“The library might be the best bet for that. I can find a sleeping bag,” said Hawke. “Besides, the wine’s in there - and after the day we’ve had…”_
> 
> _“I’ve already imbibed more tonight than I should while on the job, but I won’t begrudge the rest of you.” He sighed. “At least Curly’s getting some sleep.”_
> 
> _“Theoretically, at least - his daughter may have other plans. But that’s a much better way to spend the evening, I’m sure.” Hawke also sighed. She reached out to squeeze Bethany’s shoulder. “Hopefully this will all be over soon.”_
> 
> _“I’ll call the captain, Hawke. You girls go on into the library and get comfortable.” Varric paused and, catching sight of Bethany’s bathrobe draped on a nearby chair, picked it up with his free hand and passed it to her._
> 
> _“Oh, oh, thank you.” She wrapped herself in the garment, as if taking comfort from the fabric. Then, after a moment, she seized Varric in a fierce hug. “If you hadn’t realized something was wrong… just… thank you.”_
> 
> _“Uh… yeah… you’re welcome, Sunshine. All in a day’s work.” In all his years of assigning nicknames, he’d never given anyone such an accurate one. Shame it didn’t pay anything; he could retire on that accomplishment. He watched the sisters leave the room while pulling out his phone, leaving Dorian to monitor the intruder until he finished his call._
> 
> _Since his objective was an obvious failure, Zevran was a model prisoner, making Dorian’s job not all that challenging. Thus, the Tevinter waited until Varric returned from the other room and he smirked at the detective slightly. It seemed now that the lady was out of danger, he could allow himself to find some amusement in Varric’s obvious befuddlement. “You look puzzled,” he remarked idly._
> 
> _“Puzzled? No. Just trying to solve this case in my head, that’s all.”_
> 
> _“Oh, so a certain lovely young woman dubbed ‘Sunshine’ is_ not _vexing you. I apologize, my mistake.” The smirk remained on the vigilante’s face._
> 
> _“Why would she be ‘vexing’ me?” Varric eyed him, not liking where this could go but recognizing that he didn’t have much choice but to let the chips fall and try to clean up afterward._
> 
> _“I may not know any of you very well, but I do have eyes, my friend. I can see the smoldering looks flying around when you two are in close proximity - and I can see it’s weighing on you.”_
> 
> _“Smo-what? Andraste’s ass, you sound like my partner.”_
> 
> _“This partner of yours sounds like a smart man.” Dorian chuckled. “If you won’t take my word for it, take his - there is most definitely a spark between you and the young lady. A certain_ je ne sais quoi _, to coin the Orlesian turn of phrase.”_
> 
> _“I don’t know what that means,” Varric replied flatly. “And I don’t want to know.”_
> 
> _“Suit yourself, friend. Suit yourself.”_

 

“I can’t help but notice the allusion to a certain work of which we know the authors are fond,” said Solas, smiling benignly.

“I’m only surprised there wasn’t one sooner.” Cullen laughed.

“This has been remarkably light on the modern media references, come to think of it,” said Varric. “Usually their work is crawling with them.”

“They’ve been embracing the noir feel so perfectly, perhaps they thought they didn’t need too many media references,” said Leliana, smiling. “But a good Disney quote is always fun.”

“Can never go wrong with Disney. Especially if it makes me look absurd.” Varric chuckled. “So, General, what’s next?”

Cassandra took a quick drink to wet her throat, then peered at the papers. “Ah, looks like we’ll be hearing from Calpernia…”

 

 

> _In light of the previous evening’s madness, Hawke opted to stay with her sister as Varric and Dorian met Cullen the next morning to find this Calpernia dame. Varric introduced the Tevinter and the younger detective to each other, as well as briefing the latter on what had happened in his absence._
> 
> _“Maker’s breath,” Cullen said, his eyes wide as the tale concluded. “I’m glad everyone’s all right.”_
> 
> _“For a given value of ‘all right,’ anyway,” said Varric. He was still a bit angry about what had almost happened to Bethany on his watch, and the lack of sleep wasn’t sweetening his temper any. “Poor kid was still pretty shaken up when we left this morning.”_
> 
> _“I imagine so.” Cullen shook his head in sympathy. “At least we have this lead to follow - maybe we’re one step closer to ending this. I’m still convinced Meredith and Samson have_ something _to do with the theft, but we’ll see what Calpernia can tell us about this Cory Pheus for now.”_
> 
> _“Right. Let’s go.”_
> 
> _The Hawke estate was barely a stone’s throw from the Viscount’s Keep where police headquarters was based, but to return to the Gallows was a serious trek. They stopped for coffee (at Varric’s insistence) before making their way to the receptionist’s desk. She was a prim, mousy thing, with dull brassy hair in braids and a dour look in her eyes. “Miss Calpernia, we were hoping you could assist us with our investigation.”_
> 
> _Calpernia’s lip twitched in something like irritation and she heaved a put-upon sigh. “Back again, are we, gentlemen? With a friend this time, I see.” She glanced in Dorian’s direction before turning back towards Cullen and Varric. “You truly expect I have something to say that Master Samson and Judge Stannard haven’t already said?”_
> 
> _“Well, we’ve had a tip that may or may not be at all related to them,” Varric explained, “but the tipper in question suggested you might have some inside information. Do you know a man by the name of Pheus? Cory Pheus?”_
> 
> _Her spine appeared to stiffen ever so slightly, but her facial expression remained the same. “I know the name, of course - I’m Tevinter and he owns a very successful business there. I did an internship for the company when I was at university. But I’d hardly say I ‘know’ him.”_
> 
> _“What line of business is he in? He’s not commonly known in the Marches.”_
> 
> _“Biotechnology and pharmaceuticals. My only purpose in life is not simply shuffling papers and fetching the judge her coffee, you know,” Calpernia said tersely. “I studied to be a chemist.”_
> 
> _“Shame Kirkwall doesn’t offer much in the way of job opportunities in that line,” said Varric mildly. “But anyway, our source appears to think that he might have some connection to all of this, and we were hoping you’d have some kind of scoop. Can you tell us anything about him that might help?”_
> 
> _“Master Pheus is a visionary,” she insisted. “The work his company is doing will help countless people in Tevinter. To say he has anything to do with this crime is simply preposterous - clearly deceit put forth by his enemies.”_
> 
> _Behind them, Dorian let out a bark of bitter laughter._
> 
> _“You want to weigh in, Sparkler?” Varric asked._
> 
> _“I -_ Sparkler _?” he repeated, but merely sighed and shook it off in order to circle back to his original point. “It’s just that I can’t help but take umbrage with that rosy view of things back home. I don’t know if your time working for the company gives you a particular blind spot, Miss Calpernia, or if you’ve just been away from Tevinter for too long, but Cory Pheus is hardly a visionary and his company is hardly a paragon of virtue.”_
> 
> _“Which makes him quite the likely prospect for being behind all of this.” Varric nodded. “Means and probable opportunity. Well, we’ve wasted enough of the lady’s time. Thank you for humoring us, and if you get the opportunity, please remind Judge Stannard that we could use her list of names as soon as she has the chance to cobble it together for us.”_
> 
> _Calpernia, who somehow managed to look both suspicious of and vaguely scandalized by Dorian’s words, seemed hardly able to nod. But she did so, watching the men as they turned to leave._
> 
> _“Anybody got any bright ideas?” Varric muttered, squinting as they walked out into the sunlight. He felt tired and heavy, like a sack of potatoes that had been weighted down with another sack of potatoes and left to rot._
> 
> _“You go get some sleep?” Dorian suggested. “I’m sure Miss Bethany is safe with her sister, so your bodyguard services probably won’t be required. In the interim, I can do a little more digging on Cory Pheus and his company.”_
> 
> _“I want to argue the point, but I’m not gonna be of any use to anyone the way I feel right now.” Varric sighed and rubbed his face. “All right. I’ll go home and try not to get shot in my sleep.”_
> 
> _“Why don’t you come to my house?” Cullen suggested. “That way you have someone around to make sure you don’t get shot in your sleep.”_
> 
> _“I can’t put Ev and the kids in danger like that. These people are after_ us _now, don’t forget… we should ask the captain to put a protective detail on your family.”_
> 
> _“You’re probably right. Maker’s breath, all this over a sword.”_
> 
> _Varric rubbed the space between his eyes, where a headache was trying to form. “Maybe we can just put them all in one place together, reduce the needed manpower,” he mused. “Let’s ask Hawke about it and see what she thinks. I’ll sleep once this is settled.”_
> 
> _“No, no, I can take care of this, you sleep,” Cullen insisted. “Maybe we should all go to Hawke’s place for now, if she doesn't object, that way no one of us is alone.”_
> 
> _“Well, if the elder Hawke doesn't object, I'm sure the younger one most certainly won't,” said Dorian, his lips folding in a barely suppressed smile as he glanced at Varric._
> 
> _“I suppose you’re right.” At this point, Varric was too tired to even pretend to argue. He allowed himself to be herded into the waiting vehicle and driven back to the Hawke estate, waiting while Cullen explained things to the ladies._
> 
> _Once the detective had told his tale, Hawke immediately nodded. “Of course you can set up camp here. We can use the library for that research Dorian wants to do.” To her sister, she added, “Bethy, why don’t you show Varric to one of the guest rooms.”_
> 
> _“Of course.” Bethany turned towards Varric. “You stood guard for me, I can do the same for you.”_
> 
> _He chuckled wearily. “You’re not standing guard over me. But the bed would be appreciated.”_
> 
> _“Oh really? And who’s going to stop me?” she said teasingly, taking his arm. “Come on, let’s get you settled. You look exhausted, you poor thing.”_
> 
> _Varric’s expression for the others was so laughably bewildered, even in its fatigue, that Hawke was hard-pressed not to laugh until he was out of earshot. “Is he always this awkward around girls?” she asked Cullen teasingly._
> 
> _“Not usually,” Cullen said, and couldn’t help but laugh. “I mean, this is nothing compared to the way I interacted with my wife when I first met her, but it is pretty rare for Varric, I can tell you that.”_

 

“I am not awkward around girls,” Varric objected mildly. “I am, in fact, often admired as being suave and genteel.”

“You are,” Bethany assured him cheerfully. “You certainly charmed the nurses at my treatment facility when you came to visit. You’re very charismatic.”

“Somebody appreciates me.” He glanced at Hawke and winked.

Hawke rolled her eyes playfully, as did a few of the other teachers. Bethany merely laughed. “And besides,” she continued, “I’m sure you’re very suave and genteel in this universe too - it’s just that my presence throws you off your game.” She grinned.

“You might be onto something,” he allowed. “Okay. Sorry to interrupt, go on.”

 

>  
> 
> _“I would say there’s probably reason for that,” Dorian remarked quietly, smirking._
> 
> _“Well, yes.” Cullen laughed._
> 
> _“Don’t worry, he’ll figure it out soon if he hasn’t already.” Hawke smirked. “Bethy can be very un-subtle if she feels it’s necessary.”_
> 
> _“Then I suppose we shall see what happens,” said Dorian. “For now, though, I believe the three of us have some work to do.”_
> 
> _“Right. Cullen, you go collect your family and bring them back here; Dorian, maybe you’d better go along to keep an eye on things.” Hawke looked thoughtful. “I’ll get Bodahn to ready a room, and call to have some extra groceries delivered.”_
> 
> _“An excellent plan all around,” said Dorian, his hand resting on the gun at his waist. “Everyone be careful, yes?”_
> 
> _“Definitely. I’ll call the captain while you two are gone,” Hawke added, “and keep her informed. If she wants to send a couple extra boys in blue to keep an eye on things, that’s her call.”_
> 
> _With their plans cemented, the three unlikely allies peeled off to take care of everything that needed to be accomplished. Meanwhile, Bethany had led Varric upstairs to one of the house’s many guest rooms. “I think this should do nicely,” she told him, opening the door. “Is there anything I can get for you?”_
> 
> _“Thanks, Sunshine, but I’ll be fine. If I can just get in two or three hours, it’ll help.” He shook his head, putting his gun and badge and hat on the bedside table and shrugging off his jacket. “You just keep your nose clean in the meantime.”_
> 
> _“I think I can handle that. Hopefully.” She chuckled and sat down in a chair across the room, crossing her legs delicately as she did so._
> 
> _He was trying not to look, he really was, but she had long legs like her sister and they tended to demand attention. “You’re going to watch me sleep?” he yawned, playing it cool. “Don’t you want a book or something?”_
> 
> _“I’ll be fine. I enjoy the quiet - it gives me a chance to think.”_
> 
> _“Your call.” He took off his shoes so he wouldn’t dirty the bed, and rolled his shirtsleeves to the elbows. This accomplished, he all but pitched sideways onto the pillow and was out in minutes._
> 
> _Bethany couldn’t help but chuckle softly. For such a world-weary man, Varric looked almost peaceful now, and it only endeared him to her farther. She hated this entire dirty business with the sword, but she enjoyed spending time with the detective, that much was obvious. Rising from the chair on quiet feet, she crossed the room to pull the blankets up around him before returning to her seat once more._
> 
>  
> 
> _Cullen and Dorian returned a little over an hour later, with Cullen’s wife and two children. Evvy Rutherford was a sensible woman with pleasant manners and arresting eyes. “You’re kind to have us all hide out here,” she told Hawke. “I’m looking forward to all of this being over, Cullen tries so hard not to mix work and home.”_
> 
> _“It’s the least I can do, Mrs. Rutherford,” Hawke said, shaking the other woman’s hand. “Your husband and his partner are protecting my sister, so I’m happy to return the favor. Hopefully we’re nearing the end of this whole debacle.”_
> 
> _“I hope so. Can I do anything to help while we’re here?” She shifted her small daughter in her arms, pausing long enough to introduce her children to Hawke. Cole, the son, had already settled down by the fireplace with a book._
> 
> _“You’re very kind to offer, but as long as you’re here, think of yourselves as my guests,” said Hawke. “Your primary job is staying safe.”_
> 
> _“I’ll do my best.” Evvy chuckled, but she looked seriously at Cullen. “You just be careful. All of you. Varric’s asleep?”_
> 
> _“Yes. He had quite the night last night after I went home, so we insisted he sleep before we do anything else. Hawke’s sister Bethany went to watch over him.”_
> 
> _“Interesting. I thought you said_ he _was watching_ her _.”_
> 
> _“He was.” Cullen smiled faintly. “It seems like the tables have turned a bit. Never thought I’d see anyone get under Varric’s skin like this, honestly.”_
> 
> _“Oh my.” She laughed. “This I have to see. All right, let me get Skye’s playpen set up over here by Cole.”_
> 
> _Cullen came over to take their daughter as Evvy set to the task. “I hate that you all have to be involved in this,” he muttered, stroking the little girl’s cheek. “The sooner we get details on this Tevinter businessman, the better.”_
> 
> _She responded with a small string of syllables, which was about all anyone could expect of someone so tiny. Cole, however, looked up from his book. “It’s good that we’re here,” he said. “Now you can find this man without worrying about us.”_
> 
> _“That is very true, my boy.” Cullen smiled. “I’ve been so worried about all of you since this entire case began. Knowing you’re here with Hawke and a few officers will go a long way to easing my mind.” Of course, he wouldn’t completely unstiffen until the sword was back where it belonged, but it was a start._
> 
>  
> 
> _Varric wasn’t sure what woke him; he supposed it didn’t matter. He had gotten a little sleep; coffee could sustain him for the rest. He blinked, pushing back the blanket which had been laid over him, and sat up slowly. “Any news?” he grumbled._
> 
> _“There he is,” Bethany said warmly, the sound of Varric’s voice drawing her back out of the haze of her own thoughts. “You haven’t missed very much - I think Cullen’s family has arrived from the sound of things, as well as a few officers. Otherwise, nothing new, I suspect.”_
> 
> _“No news is good news, at least sometimes. You didn’t have to sit here the whole time.”_
> 
> _“I know. But I wanted to make sure you were all right.” She smiled slightly. “It’s like I told you at Adamant - other people are always taking risks for my sake, it’s the least I can do to try and repay that.”_
> 
> _He gave a weak sort of dry chuckle. “You don’t owe me anything. I do this for a living, you know.”_
> 
> _“Even so, I owe you my life a few times over by this point. Job or not, that means something to me.” Her eyes grew cloudy for a moment. “My life must be extremely valuable for all the times people have given up their own health and safety for my sake.”_
> 
> _Varric paused, and frowned. “You’ve been through something like this before?”_
> 
> _“Nothing exactly like this, but… you may remember me mentioning my father and my brother. They’re both dead because they wanted to protect my sister and me. Too many people sacrifice too much on my behalf - I don’t want you to sacrifice too much too. I don’t think I could stand another person doing that.”_
> 
> _“I went into this line of work knowing that was a possibility,” he replied gently. “I don’t know a better cause, really. I promise I’ll try not to die, but that’s the best I can do. What’s more important is that we keep you and the Curly clan safe until this whole sword business is patched up.”_
> 
> _“And when it is?” she asked softly. “When this whole business is indeed patched up, where does that leave… things?”_
> 
> _“Well, you’ll have a lot fewer houseguests.” He was trying to pretend that he didn't know what she might be implying, and that his stomach wasn’t flipping over about it. “Don’t know if that’s to your liking or not, but it’ll be quieter and you’ll have your life back.”_
> 
> _“Well, quieter_ will _be nice - Crows not trying to kill me will be delightful. But I’ll miss some of the houseguests,” she said, biting her lip slightly. “And I still want a second dance at a certain club with a certain faithful bodyguard of mine.”_
> 
> _Varric had the uncomfortable feeling that saying_ no _to this girl was not part of his skill set, sort of like looking at tools in shop class and having no idea what a ratchet does. However, as he watched the afternoon daylight playing on her skin, he dimly noted that maybe he didn’t mind too much. “Tell you what. You keep your pretty face out of harm’s way,” he found himself saying, “and I’ll make sure you get a second dance.”_
> 
> _“I think that sounds like a fair deal.” She smiled. “You make sure you stay safe too and I’ll see what I can do.”_
> 
> _“Trust me, I doubt they think I’m worth the trouble. You, however, are, so sit tight.” He put himself together. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to the rest of the squatters.”_
> 
> _With Bethany and the Rutherford family safely installed with Hawke and a few of Kirkwall’s finest, Cullen, Varric, and Dorian went to the police barracks to see what leads they could chase. The last thing they were expecting was for the lead to come to them._
> 
> _“Woman here to see you,” said one of the rookies, poking her head into the room where they sat discussing the case. “Says she has information.”_
> 
> _“Hawke?” Varric guessed._
> 
> _The rookie shook her head. “No, blonde woman with looped braids. Got a gap in her teeth.”_
> 
> _Cullen and Dorian exchanged a look of confusion. “Calpernia?” Dorian said in disbelief._
> 
> _“Calpernia,” said a new voice, calmly. Calpernia herself stood on the threshold, giving them all the unconcerned sort of glare that a cow gives to an oncoming billy goat. “I decided to talk.”_
> 
> _“Just… like that?” said Cullen, his notepad already in his hand._
> 
> _“I half expected you were coming here to tell us to die in the void,” Dorian remarked. “What’s changed?”_
> 
> _“One doesn’t easily turn on a man as powerful as Cory Pheus - or a woman like Meredith Stannard,” she replied. “But things are getting too intense. I need to get out of the situation. I’m thinking if I help you, you’ll help me.”_
> 
> _“Of course,” said Cullen. “If you give us the information we need, we can make sure you’re protected.”_
> 
> _“Besides, I can tell how much you care about Tevinter,” Dorian added. “Cory Pheus doesn’t have the country’s best interest at heart like you do - you don’t need to protect him when you could do what he cannot.”_
> 
> _For the first time, Calpernia’s expression held something other than disdain. “I want to go home,” she said, “but I may not be safe there either. You guarantee me safe passage to Nevarra and I’ll figure things out from there. In return, I’ll give you everything I’ve got.”_
> 
> _Cullen glanced at Varric. “I think we can arrange that. We’ll speak to our captain when this is over, but I’m almost certain she’ll agree. And you have my word we’ll do everything in our power to see to it.”_
> 
> _Seeing Varric nod, Calpernia did likewise. “It’s like this,” she said. “I’ve been working for Meredith…_ and _Pheus. He wanted to get an inside perspective here in the Marches because he wants to expand his company. I figured that was reasonable enough, and what’s good for his company is good for Tevinter. He’s the one who hired the Crows to steal the sword, after I told him it was here. He wants to ransom it.” She sighed. “Here’s the thing. Meredith has always known he was responsible. I told him it was here, and he approached her about a deal._ She _gave him all the intel about where it was kept and how the Crows could help.”_
> 
> _“I knew Meredith was involved somehow!” Cullen spat._
> 
> _“A deal, you say,” Dorian put in. “What kind of deal? A quid pro quo - ‘you tell me about the sword, you get a cut of the profits?’”_
> 
> _“Basically. What he doesn’t know, though, is that she’s got Samson tracking down the sword too,” Calpernia replied. “He’s going to steal it back for her so she can make it appear that_ she _found it - not you - and be the hero of the day.” Rolling her eyes, she added, “She’s a fool if she thinks Pheus won’t just have the Crows take her out. He never had any intention of giving her any of the money. But once I heard about her plan to double-cross him, I knew I had to get out of there before I become collateral damage.”_
> 
> _“Maker’s breath, it’s_ all _of them.” Cullen blinked. “They’re_ all _involved.” To Calpernia, he added, “You were wise to get out when you did - I’m sure we don’t have to tell you how dangerous they are.”_
> 
> _“Up to this point I thought I was doing the right thing just staying put and keeping quiet. I’m supposed to get a good position with Pheus’s company - guess that’s not happening now.” She groaned. “They were both using me. I can’t believe I was so blind.”_
> 
> _“Not blind,” said Dorian, “Perhaps a bit too trusting, but not blind. Even without Cory Pheus and his company, you can be the type of reformer Tevinter needs. There are plenty of us who believe Tevinter has potential.”_
> 
> _“I’ll write down everything I know about where the sword is and when Samson plans to steal it,” she said, casting a somewhat grateful look in his direction. “With any luck, you can take down the whole lot of them.”_
> 
> _“Thank you, Miss Calpernia,” said Cullen, giving her a nod. To his companions, he added, “Gracious Andraste, this could all be over_ and _we could finally take down Samson and Meredith.”_
> 
> _“You’ve been wanting to do that for ages,” Varric teased him. “Your chance is coming, Curly.”_
> 
> _“Thank the Maker. Two fewer criminals in Kirkwall - I know it’s not much in a city like ours, but it’s a start.”_
> 
> _“More than that, I’d say,” Dorian interjected. “The good judge probably could have parlayed the successful restoration of the sword into something much more - such as even more power and influence than she already has. Same with Cory Pheus. This could have done irreparable damage.”_
> 
> _“Not to mention the innocent lives that could have been caught in the crossfire,” Varric added._
> 
> _“Yes.” Cullen shook his head. “Well, I’ll speak to Captain Hendallen, let her know what’s going on. Do you know where Cory Pheus is now?” This last remark was addressed to Calpernia._
> 
> _“On his way here, if the schedule I was given is still accurate. He expected to reach the city on Friday.”_
> 
> _“We’ll be waiting for him then. And once you’re safely out of Kirkwall, we’ll pay Meredith and Samson a visit as well.”_
> 
> _“Pheus expects to take the sword Friday night at this location. From what Meredith said, Samson expects to get there ahead of him.” She wrote down an address._
> 
> _“That’s what he expects, but it’s funny how things don’t go according to plan, isn’t it?” Dorian couldn’t help but chuckle. “Permission to come along when you take these cretins down? I think it would give me a great deal of satisfaction to see one of Tevinter’s corrupt elite brought low.”_
> 
> _“Wouldn’t dream of leaving you out, Sparkler,” Varric assured him. “Got to make it a proper party, right?”_
> 
> _“My thoughts exactly,” the vigilante agreed. “And when this is all over, we can all have an_ actual _party.”_

 

“What do you know,” Dorian chuckled, “in every universe, in every setting, I’m still the man in charge of party planning. Not that there was ever any doubt.”

“Sounds about right,” said Evvy. “But I have a feeling there’s at least one more surprise in store for our heroes.”

“Could Calpernia be a plant? Sent to double cross them?” Josephine wondered.

“It’s certainly possible,” said Leliana. “Most good noir stories have twist endings, after all - if I had to guess, I’d say this one is no different.”

“Wait, I know,” said Bull, laughing. “It turns out Cullen masterminded the whole thing in order to finally get his partner a date.”

Everyone else started laughing as well, Cullen perhaps hardest of all. “That would be positively diabolical of me,” he said when he had finished chortling, and rubbed his hands together.

“I’m not _that_ desperate!” Varric protested, laughing.

“Actually,” Hawke teased, “it sounds like you kind of are.”

“More like he just needed the right dame,” said Bethany, elbowing him playfully.

“I can live with that.”

Everyone sort of chuckled. “Need a break, Cass?” said Leliana after a beat. “I love telling stories, so I’m sure I can do a fanfiction reading some justice. I’ll take over, if you’d like.” Once Cassandra had surrendered the pages, the headmistress settled in with a look of delight on her face. “All right, then, let’s see what twists await us, shall we?”

 

 

> _Varric was frankly suspicious about the lack of attempts to break into the Hawke estate between their meeting with Calpernia and the expected rendezvous on Friday. “I don’t get it. The Crows have been doing their best to make life miserable for everybody concerned,” he said at breakfast on Friday morning. “Not that I’m ungrateful, but why haven’t they made another strike at any of us?”_
> 
> _“Perhaps they’ve been deterred by the police presence here?” Cullen suggested. “Or maybe they’re so certain we’re on the wrong track that they’ve decided we aren’t worth their effort.”_
> 
> _“Or maybe they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security and they’re going to spring a horrible trap tonight.”_
> 
> _“What a cheering thought,” said Dorian dryly._
> 
> _“Yes, please don’t mention that when my wife comes downstairs,” said Cullen, glancing anxiously behind him to make sure she hadn’t appeared without his knowledge and heard the whole exchange._
> 
> _“Sorry. I’m a pessimist by nature,” Varric reminded him. “And a cynic. And a curmudgeon. Let me get the thesaurus, I’m sure there are other words too.”_
> 
> _“All that and more,” Dorian agreed, chuckling. “The perfect foil to Rutherford’s relentless earnest optimism.”_
> 
> _“Pretty sure that’s why Captain Hendallen assigned us to work together. I keep him from stumbling off cliffs in blind trust and he keeps me from being too much of a miserable sot.”_
> 
> _“Yes, however would I survive without you?” Cullen snarked, rolling his eyes teasingly._
> 
> _“Are you_ sassing _him, Detective?” Dorian looked genuinely surprised. “I didn’t know you had it in you! Anyway, you must do a good job of keeping him from being a miserable sot, since somehow the pessimistic cynical curmudgeon managed to catch the attention of the sun.”_
> 
> _Varric choked on his coffee. “This again? Haven’t you beaten that subject to death yet?”_
> 
> _“Oh, my dear ser, on the contrary - I have hardly even begun to beat this subject,” said Dorian, waving his hand. “I’m not certain I see what the holdup is, exactly. Once this sword debacle is concluded, what could possibly be impeding the two of you?”_
> 
> _“I promised her a second visit to the Adamant club. Beyond that, I’m not presuming anything.”_
> 
> _“Well, that’s something at least. I think it’s obvious she has her sights set on you.”_
> 
> _“Yeah, it’s reached a point where even I couldn’t be willfully blind to it,” Varric conceded. “Eventually she’ll come to her senses. Right now she’s probably caught up in gratitude or something.”_
> 
> _“We’ll see,” Dorian replied, smirking into his coffee cup. “I’m not convinced it’s that surface level, but I have been known to be wrong on extremely rare occasions.”_
> 
> _“Speaking of the club, though, instead of having a regular party, why don’t we all go out there when this is over?” Varric suggested. “Less work for everyone involved.”_
> 
> _“I think that sounds like an excellent idea,” Cullen agreed. “Once everyone is back home and settled and all the paperwork is done, I think that will be just what we all need.”_
> 
> _“Just need to find you a babysitter.” Varric drained his coffee cup. “Anybody else need a refill?”_
> 
> _“On a day like today, I don’t think indulging a bit will hurt,” said Cullen, holding out his own cup. “I’d like to propose a toast then, if I may. To this finally being over, and justice being served.”_
> 
> _“I’ll drink to that,” said his partner._
> 
> _As mugs were clinked and drained, they were joined in short order by the women. “So,” said Bethany, entering last of all with her hands folded behind her back, “this, hopefully, is it then.”_
> 
> _“With any luck, we will be out of your hair by tonight,” said Evvy, bouncing her daughter in her arms. “Cullen, can you take her so I can eat? Or are you not finished yet?”_
> 
> _“No, no, I’m finished. Come to Da, darling.” Even to those who had only met Cullen a few days hence, it was obvious he was not a man who ever missed an opportunity to hold the child in question._
> 
> _“You’re not in our hair at all,” said Hawke with a laugh, watching as Cullen snuggled his little girl. “I’m sure you’re all eager to get back to your own home, though, and I don’t blame you.”_
> 
> _“The only difficulty I foresee is getting Cole out of your library.” Evvy chuckled. “He’s been plowing through every book you have on poetry or history.”_
> 
> _“That’s my boy,” said Cullen fondly, likewise chuckling._
> 
> _“Oh, he’s more than welcome to take a few of those books with him, or come back and make use of the library whenever he wants,” said Hawke with a wave of her hand. “In fact, you’re all welcome here. It’s a big place - sometimes it gets a little lonely with just me and Bethy and Fenris.”_
> 
> _“Fenris lives here?” Varric couldn’t help looking a bit surprised, since they hadn’t seen the white-haired man since the first day._
> 
> _“When he’s not traveling for work, which admittedly he does a lot.” Hawke shrugged. “He’s been in Orlais on business for most of this, and this is one of the only times I’ve been happy he’s away. I’m glad he’s not around for this whole mess.”_
> 
> _“Huh. So he’s your…?”_
> 
> _She laughed slightly. “Probably should have mentioned he’s my husband. I don’t wear the wedding ring too often - that way people don’t see it and know I have someone else in my life who can be put into danger. A lady’s got a right to her secrets, after all,” she added with a smirk._
> 
> _“No argument.” He held up his hands placatingly. “Just didn’t know. Seems like you’ve got the right idea, honestly.”_
> 
> _“Hey, just because you live dangerously doesn’t mean you deserve to be alone forever,” she said, gesturing broadly with her coffee mug. “Sometimes you just have to get creative.” She regarded Varric and her sister over the top of said mug as she sipped placidly._
> 
> _He busied himself with adding sugar and cream to his refilled cup. “As we were saying before you ladies joined us, we’re hoping this will all be done by tonight. But I feel like there’s something still missing from the situation.”_
> 
> _“Oh yes?” said Bethany, watching him curiously. If she had caught her sister’s glance, she was doing a masterful job of ignoring it. “Like what exactly?”_
> 
> _“Not sure. I just think we need to be on our guard - there’s going to be some kind of surprise before this is all said and done.”_
> 
> _“It could be something good,” said Hawke. “It could be a surprise fleet of griffons waiting just for you.” She chuckled, then sobered. “In all seriousness, though, do you want me to call Hendallen, see if she can spare some extra backup for you?”_
> 
> _“It might be worth having some of the crew on standby,” Varric allowed. “We’ll get in touch with her this afternoon - let’s try to enjoy the morning.”_
> 
> _“You’re right,” said Hawke. “It’s been a while since we’ve had so many guests for breakfast. Let’s leave this mess outside.”_
> 
> _“You know,” said Bethany, smiling slightly, “I would actually be interested in hearing how you met your wife, Detective Rutherford.”_
> 
> _“Oh, oh, of course.” Cullen smiled in return and exchanged a glance with Evvy. “It was about two and a half years ago. Thedas was suffering under this group of bank robbers, you might remember them - the media dubbed them the “Red Templars” because they always wore these red masks to cover their faces. Anyway, they eventually made their way into the Free Marches to hit the Royal Bank of Starkhaven and some of the banks in different cities here, including some in Kirkwall. As they were fleeing the scene of one heist, they got careless and caused a massive traffic accident, several fatalities.” He shook his head, clearly remembering the destruction. “I went down to talk to the only victim who survived the accident.” He glanced at his wife again._
> 
> _“Pure luck,” she said. “There was a Chantry priestess nearby and she somehow pulled me out of the wreckage. Never did find out who she was, she disappeared - I remember very little else.”_
> 
> _“Andraste was smiling on you that day, my love,” said Cullen, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I accompanied her to the hospital, but never expected to see her again after that. Imagine my surprise when Cole - who used to help the police by giving us tips back before he was officially my son - came to me a few weeks later and told me about the nice woman named Evvy who had been taking care of him just like I took care of him. Turned out Evvy was here for her teaching degree, so I saw her more and more.” His gaze darkened for a minute, turning steely like a dull blade. “There was a bit of… unpleasantness with the Red Templars during that time as well. I’ve never stopped suspecting Samson and Meredith were somehow involved, but I could never prove it.”_
> 
> _“No wonder you were so on edge when we went to see them,” said Hawke. “It makes sense now.”_
> 
> _“It helped, in a way,” Varric snarked. “He had a rough time talking to her unless it was related to the case - or the kid. The whole situation gave him an excuse to have actual conversations and she eventually got him to talk about other things.” He winked at Evvy._
> 
> _Cullen chuckled faintly. “I was… utterly hopeless - to the point where Evvy almost went back to Ostwick to finish her degree there instead.  That was enough to make me realize how much I need her.”_
> 
> _“And once we got married, we adopted Cole officially, and Skye came along about a year later.” Evvy smiled._
> 
> _“I never expected any of this was waiting for me when I left Ferelden,” Cullen said, and his tone and gaze were full of affection. “And after the things I'd been through there, I didn’t think I even deserved them. But I’ve never been so happy to be wrong.” He squeezed Evvy’s hand and smoothed Skye’s hair._
> 
> _“How sweet.” Bethany smiled. “You two have a lovely family.”_
> 
> _“Varric is the honorary uncle,” Evvy added. “He was even there when Skye was born.”_
> 
> _“For a given value of_ there _,” Varric clarified. “I wasn’t in the room, but I was at the hospital.”_
> 
> _“Skye came along a bit earlier than expected, so I was at work when the call came. Varric drove me and Cole there - and thank the Maker for it too. I was in no fit state to drive.” Cullen chuckled._
> 
> _“Never saw anybody’s face turn that particular shade of white before,” his partner joked. “It was an adventure.”_
> 
> _“Poor man,” Bethany said with a little laugh. “But she’s such a precious little thing - she has your hair color and your eyes.” She nodded first to Cullen, then to Evvy._
> 
> _“She’s a beauty,” Hawke agreed. “Cole seems like a sweet kid too.”_
> 
> _“He is,” said Cullen. “Although I am probably a little biased. But he’s been through so much in his life already and it hasn’t dimmed his spirit. Sometimes I wonder how he does it.”_
> 
> _“Some people are like that,” she replied sagely. “Life hits them hard and it’s sometimes more than the usual amount of unfair, but they still keep going. Nothing dulls that light.” She glanced fondly at her sister._
> 
> _Bethany returned the look, which was also mingled with gratitude. “I find those types of individuals often have wonderful people helping them through everything,” she said, “helping to keep them… sunny.”_
> 
> _Varric chuckled into his coffee, ignoring whatever look Dorian was sending in his direction. “That’s usually how it goes. Everybody needs somebody propping them up from time to time. Well, the pot seems to have gone empty, let me go whomp up some fresh coffee.”_
> 
> _“I’ll come and help,” Bethany said, rising. “I can show you where everything is.”_
> 
> _“Oh, that’s - uh - yeah, okay, thanks.”_
> 
> _There may have been some snickering behind them as Bethany led Varric into the kitchen, but she ignored it, instead focusing her attention on finding the proper cabinet. “Here we go,” she said at last, leaning up to get the pot. She turned back around to face Varric, her fingers brushing over his as she passed it to him._
> 
> _“Thanks.” He tried to find neutral things to say while he filled the pot with water, like commentary on the weather or the color beige. “I drink too much of this stuff, but it keeps me going.”_
> 
> _“Mm…” she replied, bouncing her fist off of her palm, clearly lost in thought. After a moment, she spoke. “Varric… you_ will _be careful tonight, won’t you?”_
> 
> _“I’m always careful. It’s why they give me the big guns,” he joked, turning on the stove. More seriously, he added, “It’ll be all right. Whatever happens, it’ll be all right.”_
> 
> _She nodded, but still looked uncertain. “It’ll only be all right when you all come back safely,” she said. “When_ you _come back safely.”_
> 
> _“You’re really that worried? We’ll have a lot of backup… and they don’t know we’re coming so we have the element of surprise on our side too.” The water was starting to get hot, which he supposed was why the kitchen was feeling overly warm, sort of like walking into the bathroom after your suitemate took a shower and used up all the hot water and all you can do is draw smiley faces in the steamy mirror._
> 
> _“Of course I’m worried - after everything we’ve all been through since this started, how can I not be? I don’t want anything to happen that takes Cullen away from his family or that takes you away from…” She cleared her throat. “...from me.”_
> 
> _His look for her was incredulous, though unusually soft. “You barely know me, Sunshine. Why all the concern - or attachment?”_
> 
> _“It’s not everyday someone looks at you like you’re the sun,” she said, smiling. “It’s not a skin deep sort of look, it’s something deeper - and I like it.”_
> 
> _“Bah. A lady like you probably has a dozen people looking at her like she’s the sun and she just doesn’t know it.” The thought vaguely annoyed him, however, so he plunged ahead. “You’re a prize. Your sister knows it, everybody in that whole room knows it.”_
> 
> _Her smile was extremely luminous at that and it was possible a faint blush dusted her cheeks. “Even if people do look at me like that, there aren’t a whole lot who mean it like you do. You’re right that we barely know each other, and yet I feel like we do. I don’t know how else to describe it.”_
> 
> _“I kind of understand. I just… am not good at this.” He gestured aimlessly. “Last time I tried something like this, it ended pretty much in disaster, in almost every sense of the word.”_
> 
> _“Oh?” Bethany’s delicate eyebrows lifted in query. “May I ask what happened?”_
> 
> _“Shortest of short forms, got dumped for another guy. It was a long time ago, but it stayed raw for years. I’ve only dated very casually since then so I don’t bust the wound open again, if you take my meaning.”_
> 
> _“Maker, I’m sorry, that sounds dreadful. I didn’t… I hope I didn’t pry.”_
> 
> _“Nah, it’s fine.”_ Fine _was perhaps not the right word, but she hadn’t meant any harm and he knew it. “All I’m saying is that it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t… I mean… my life’s kind of weird. Also dangerous, as you’ve observed. Not the best place for a real lady.”_
> 
> _She smiled a little at that, somewhere between flattered and a bit amused. “‘A real lady,’” she repeated. “I don’t know about all that. I think danger and I get along just fine.”_
> 
> _“You shouldn’t have to get along with it. Like Siren - Curly’s missus - it’s not fair what happens to some people. You don’t deserve this mess, and neither did she.” He shook his head. “I think I’ve wandered away from my point. Mostly I just didn’t want you to think I was… I don’t know. You can do better.”_
> 
> _“Maybe. But I disagree. Life has given me my fair share of things I didn’t deserve - that’s life. But maybe now life is giving me something I really want. Something I really need.”_
> 
> _“You decide things quickly,” he teased her. “Considering we’ve been out once, it was technically work for me, and it only ended as well as it did because of a dashing vigilante coming to our rescue, I’d have expected you to run for the hills.”_
> 
> _She could not suppress a laugh at that. “My sister’s the Champion of Kirkwall. And even before that, danger seemed to follow us like a lost mabari puppy. As I said, I’m quite accustomed to life not being neat and orderly, so I suppose the same is true for my love life.”_
> 
> _“You may be onto something,” he admitted. “I swore I’d never go through this again, but… something tells me that I couldn’t say no to you even if I wanted.”_
> 
> _She laughed again, a pleasant sound, and her eyes were sparkling slightly. “Am I really so beguiling?” she asked, still giggling._
> 
> _“You are, and you know you are,” he returned, smirking. “I’m probably not the first man who couldn’t say no to you.” The unfinished thought hung in the air; much to his genuine surprise, he found that he probably wasn’t the first, but he wanted to be the last. He rubbed the back of his neck._
> 
> _Her smile lit up at the compliment, but at the second part of the detective’s statement, Bethany shook her head. “Would it surprise you to find out you are?”_
> 
> _“It would render me shocked and stunned. You probably leave a trail of slack-jawed admirers behind you wherever you go.” He was laying it on a bit thick, like too much peanut butter in a sandwich; but sometimes too much was just enough._
> 
> _“You’re flattering me.” She laughed. “To the best of my knowledge, there is no trail of admirers, slack-jawed or otherwise.”_
> 
> _“You’d have your hands full with me,” he warned. “I keep odd hours, and I probably drink too much, and there’s the whole danger thing I already mentioned.”_
> 
> _She shrugged. “Marian’s right in what she said over breakfast - just because you lead a dangerous life doesn’t mean you should be alone.”_
> 
> _“Hm, can’t deny you have a point there.” Varric found himself idly wondering why he’d never met either of these women before now; it seemed unlikely at best. But it was what it was. “Let’s… let’s get through this first. Then the others agreed we’ll go back to Adamant to celebrate and you can get that second dance you requested. After that… well… let’s see how things go.”_
> 
> _She nodded, smiling softly. “I think I can agree to that. But at the very least, I didn’t want you marching off to whatever awaits you all tonight without… knowing how I feel.”_
> 
> _“You’re something else, Sunshine, I’ll say that.” He took the boiling kettle off the stove and started making the coffee. “I actually feel a little younger when you’re around, and I’ve thought for years that I was born 35.”_
> 
> _“You’ve been through a lot, seen a lot… if I have the power to make things a bit brighter, then I’m glad.”_
> 
> _“You do.” Glancing at her, he managed a smile. “Let’s get this out to the others while it’s still hot.”_
> 
> _“Okay.” Before he could take the pot, however, she leaned forward to place a ghost of a kiss on his lips. “A taste of what’s to come, perhaps? Maybe some incentive to come back tonight?” She smiled coquettishly._
> 
> _Well, he hadn’t seen that coming - maybe he should have, Dorian probably would have, but somehow he didn’t. There was something crazy about this dame; he had a feeling she’d be keeping him on his toes for a long time. “I think I could be persuaded,” he said after a short, stunned pause._
> 
> _She couldn’t help but giggle. “Excellent. Well… uh… coffee.” She took the pot and smiled over her shoulder at him as she departed._
> 
> _He trailed after her, still a little mystified, like the cosmic dust left in the wake of a passing comet. Life just got interesting in a whole new way._

 

“For the record, yes, the in-universe version of me would indeed have seen that coming.” Dorian grinned.

“I’m still laughing over that steamy mirror analogy,” said Bull, chuckling quietly. “That was… something.”

“I’d bet coin that was one of Master Scout’s contributions,” Solas commented.

“And I would not bet against you, because you’re probably right,” Dorian agreed.

“I can just picture how the brainstorming for this story must have gone between Jim and Rory,” said Leliana, joining the laughter.

“I think the weekday holiday analogy is still my favorite,” said Varric. “They must have been competing to come up with the most elaborate ones.”

“Probably, knowing them,” Josephine remarked. “I don’t think I could pick a favorite one, though - they’ve all been so creative.”

“Well, let’s hear how they wrap things up,” said Blackwall. “I’m a bit miffed that I haven’t appeared yet, but maybe there’s a place for me down the line.”

“I’m sure there is,” Josie replied soothingly. “And for Cassandra and Solas as well.”

“I have a feeling at least one of you three have something to do with the twist ending we’ve been speculating on,” said Leliana. “But let’s see here…”

 

 

> _The afternoon passed decently, but soon it was time - with their retinue of backup - for the three men to make their way to the rendezvous point. They infiltrated the warehouse without much difficulty; Kirkwall was full of such nondescript locations, so it had just been a matter of finding the right one. “These places all look alike,” Dorian complained._
> 
> _“Part of the city’s charm, Sparkler,” replied Varric. “Now we wait.”_
> 
> _“Now we wait,” Cullen repeated. This was never his favorite part of an operation, but if they could just get through this, they would be home free. Hopefully. “According to Calpernia, we should be expecting Samson first - with any luck, we should have him in custody with none the wiser by the time Pheus arrives.”_
> 
> _“I still think we’re in for some kind of surprise,” Varric muttered. “I just wish I knew what it might be… of course, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”_
> 
> _“Well, this is why we carry guns,” said Dorian, hefting his own experimentally. “That way surprises tend to be a little less… surprising.”_
> 
> _“Shh… listen.” Varric held up a hand. Distant footsteps could be heard echoing through the seemingly empty warehouse._
> 
> _The other two men froze, tilting their heads to listen. After a beat, Cullen drew his weapon and glanced at his companions. “Samson?” he mouthed, lifting his eyebrows in rhetorical query._
> 
> _Varric lifted his hands in a gesture of unknowing. Likely it was either Samson or the Crows he had been sent to rob; but it sounded like only one person. The odds were in favor of it being him. They began to creep through the shadows in pursuit of their quarry, jaws set and eyes hard and flinty._
> 
> _There was a moment where all was silent - a silence so tense it seemed even the slightest noise would shatter it like a cheap wine glass. Cullen nodded to his two companions, signaling for them to watch his back. Then, he raised his gun and stepped out of the shadows to point it at the interloper. “Don’t move.”_
> 
> _“Oho. Well played, Rutherford,” rasped the district attorney. “Suppose now we know for sure where Calpernia went when she disappeared - ran right to you, told you everything she knows. Meredith’ll have words for her.”_
> 
> _“The only person Meredith will be having words for will be her own cellmate once we’re finished with her,” Cullen replied, a smirk of satisfaction conquering his mouth. “I told you that the two of you weren’t untouchable. I’ve waited for this for a long time.”_
> 
> _“I know you have, you’re a champion grudge-holder. Did you think I was really going to come alone? Calpernia may have turned on us, but her Venatori are still useful, especially when added to my crew.” Samson sneered, looking pleased with himself, but after a moment he paused. Whatever support he was expecting was not coming; the backup officers outside must have detained them. “Very clever, Rutherford. Give my regards to your pretty wife; the day she survived that accident was where it all started to unravel.”_
> 
> _“I always knew you were involved. I’ll make sure you pay for that too.” There was a moment where it looked as though Cullen genuinely considered clobbering the wicked DA with his gun, but if such an impulse existed, he swallowed it._
> 
> _“It’s okay, Curly. We got him.” Varric patted Cullen’s shoulder. “Let’s get him out to the captain, I’m sure she’s arranged a special ride for him.”_
> 
> _Cullen took a deep breath and smirked once more. “You’re probably right.” He reached down to his belt, fetching the pair of handcuffs that were secured there, then forced them roughly around Samson’s wrists. “Raleigh Samson, it is with great pleasure that I can finally say you are under arrest.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Almost two hours later, the whole thing seemed to be over. Cory Pheus had arrived and been taken into custody, along with the Crows, and the heroes of the hour were left holding the sword of Justinia I. “Not bad for a day’s work,” Varric remarked. Everything seemed to have been wrapped up in a neat if oddly-shaped package, like when your grandmother sends you an extremely lumpy pair of hand-knitted socks for Satinalia._
> 
> _“No, not bad at all,” said Dorian. “Two of the most corrupt figureheads of Kirkwall’s legal system have been toppled, Tevinter has lost a madman and, should Calpernia return, will gain a reformer, and the Chantry gets its priceless sword back on top of it all. We should be celebrating, I think.”_
> 
> _“A premature decision,” said a new voice. They looked around, but it was impossible to tell where it originated. “You’ll forgive my tardiness, but I was waiting to see how everything would play out. You have my thanks, detectives, and my compliments, for dispatching everyone so neatly. Now if you’ll be so good as to hand over the sword, I’ll be on my way.”_
> 
> _Weapons that had previously been laid aside jumped into hands once more and were pointed into the gloom of the warehouse. Cullen peered around. “Kirkwall PD,” he shouted. “We are armed. Come out with your hands up.”_
> 
> _“I’m perfectly well aware that you’re armed, Detective Rutherford,” said the voice. It was so calm, so cool and collected, it was almost mesmerizing. “I have no desire for bloodshed, but I have something of great value and I daresay you’ll be willing to make this exchange.”_
> 
> _“Who are you?” Varric demanded. “Show yourself.”_
> 
> _“You may call me the Dread Wolf,” he said. “I was the one who set Pheus on his path to steal the sword, so that I might take it from him when he succeeded. I didn’t expect the official forces in this matter to be so competent. As I said, my compliments.”_

 

Leliana had to pause here at the chatter that exploded from her fellow faculty members. “Aha! So that’s where you come into it,” she said to Solas, laughing. “The plot twist is _you_!”

“I’m enormously flattered,” he replied, amused. “I’ve never been the villain of a story before, let alone some kind of criminal mastermind.”

“Indeed,” said Dorian. “It seems like you had this whole thing well thought out from the very beginning. Although I get a bad feeling about this ‘thing of great value.’”

“Yeah, I don’t think I like where this is going,” Hawke agreed.

“Well, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer,” said Leliana, clearing her throat.

 

 

> _“We don’t need your compliments,” Cullen spat. “And we’re not in the habit of making deals with criminals - particularly ones who hide in the shadows.”_
> 
> _“I have every faith that you will make an exception for me,” said the Dread Wolf. “Place the sword on the floor, nice and gentle. You see, Pheus just wanted to ransom it for money to build his business empire. I have other plans… that sword will make a far greater impact if melted down and reshaped into new forms.”_
> 
> _“You’ll forgive us if we aren’t overly eager to hand the sword over just so you can use it for your own interests,” Dorian cut in. “We’ve all been through hell and back for this bloody thing.”_
> 
> _“I quite understand. Let me make this easier for you.” There was movement above them, and a figure draped in what looked like a fur pelt stepped out onto a walkway. He had an iron grip on a second individual, whose head was obscured by a burlap hood. “I’m sure that after all the effort Detective Tethras expended trying to protect her up until now, he won’t want to see her come to a bad end.” So saying, the Dread Wolf pulled off the hood, revealing Bethany with a strip of duct tape over her mouth._
> 
> _There was a look of fire in Bethany’s eyes that said she longed to make this “Dread Wolf” character pay for what he was doing. But as it was, she was completely trapped and the intensity in her gaze could not disguise the unbridled fear there also. “Oh, Andraste preserve us,” said Cullen in complete shock, his eyes darting towards Varric._
> 
> _The older detective had gone pale, his gun hanging limply in his hand like last summer’s broccoli that was just discovered in the back of the refrigerator. He stared up at Bethany in shock and dismay, his mind churning, desperate to find a way out. But nothing that came into his head seemed like it would work. The Dread Wolf had a gun; if they shot him, she could be hurt. He might throw her over the railing. He might leave and take her with him and who knew if they would ever find him._
> 
> _“All right,” he said slowly. “You can have the sword, just let her go.”_
> 
> _From her place in the Dread Wolf’s grip, Bethany shook her head frantically, her sounds of protest muffled by the tape that covered her mouth. Varric’s companions, on the other hand, both seemed to agree. “No holy relic is worth someone’s life like this,” said Cullen._
> 
> _“An excellent decision,” said the Dread Wolf in a tone so conversational it suggested a waiter complimenting someone’s wine choice, not a criminal being given his prize only after holding an innocent person hostage._
> 
> _Varric held up his hands, the gun gripped loosely in the right hand as he met Bethany’s eyes. “It’s going to be okay, honey,” he said in a forcibly calm tone. “Don’t worry. It’ll all be okay. Look, we’re going to leave the sword right here. You let her go, and we’ll walk away.”_
> 
> _“I would appreciate it if the weapons were left behind as well. As soon as those terms are met and you three are out of sight, you have my word she will be released.”_
> 
> _“We are men of action,” said Dorian, shaking his head. “Lies do not become us.”_
> 
> _“This is not a lie,” the Dread Wolf insisted. “I already told you I have no interest in bloodshed if it can be prevented. Now, do as I say.”_
> 
> _“Look, you’re not exactly proving yourself the most honorable and trustworthy person, so you’ll have to forgive us if we don’t exactly put a lot of stock in your word,” Varric seethed. “Let her go and_ then _we walk away.”_
> 
> _The Dread Wolf scowled. Before he could properly respond, however, he found himself making an unintelligible sort of_ hurk _sound, and his grip on Bethany broke as he slumped to the floor. Blood began to seep through the fabric of his shirt._
> 
> _“Consider yourself lucky it was just your shoulder I hit,” said a brand new voice - cool, elegant, and heavily Nevarran accented. The owner of the voice stepped out of the shadows, lowering the gun and silencer that were gripped in her hand._
> 
> _“Oh hey, there you are,” said Varric casually. Bethany, meanwhile, lost no time scrambling away from the Dread Wolf, pulling the tape from her mouth and finding stairs that would lead her to the floor. “Easy, Sunshine. I told you it’d be all right.”_
> 
> _Shakily, she all but threw herself into his arms, gripping him tightly as she tried to master her breathing. Above them, the new arrival was handcuffing the Dread Wolf to the banister, not doing much to mind his injured shoulder. “Is everyone all right?” she called down._
> 
> _“Pretty sure nobody was hurt, not yet at least,” Varric called back. “Any chance you could bring him down here and let me punch him in the face before you haul him away?” He patted Bethany gently on the back._
> 
> _“I'm sure something can be arranged,” the woman said with a smirk._
> 
> _Bethany looked up at last, peering from Varric to the mysterious woman and back again. “How did… who… how did you know she would come?”_
> 
> _“That would be telling,” he teased. “I’ll let our new friend introduce herself.”_
> 
> _The woman regarded Varric with narrowed eyes for a moment, her arms crossed over her chest, before shaking it off. “My name is Cassandra Pentaghast,” she said at last, “But you may call me the Right Hand of the Divine.”_
> 
> _“You’ve been sent to recover this thing, I expect?” Dorian gestured to the box containing Certainty._
> 
> _“Yes. Although I must admit, this was unexpected.” She nodded curtly in the direction of their prisoner. “All’s well that ends well, I suppose.”_
> 
> _“Well, let’s take him to meet Captain Hendallen,” Varric proposed, “since I’m sure she’ll want to know what’s going on in here.”_
> 
> _“An excellent suggestion,” she remarked, hauling the Dread Wolf to his feet and gesturing towards Cullen. “If you would be so kind, Detective.”_
> 
> _Cullen and Dorian dragged the still-bleeding fugitive outside. “You go on with them, Sunshine,” Varric suggested. “I’ll be right behind you, I just want to make sure we didn’t miss anything here.”_
> 
> _She nodded, then lifted a hand to his cheek. “Once again, you were here when I needed you. Thank you.”_
> 
> _He smiled, and waited until she was out of earshot to speak again. “So… uh… thanks for the timely rescue.”_
> 
> _“Of course,” said Cassandra. She lifted an eyebrow, crossing her arms again. “Admit it - you had no idea help was coming and you know it.”_
> 
> _He raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I admit it. I just didn’t want the poor girl scared any more than she already was. Do me a favor and don’t rat me out, will ya?”_
> 
> _“Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.” Her expression turned into one vaguely delighted. “The idea of you rescuing her is a very romantic one, after all.”_
> 
> _“Oh, not you too.” He chuckled. “Everybody in this outfit has been pushing her and me together since we met.”_
> 
> _“Can't imagine why,” she joked, picking up the box that contained the sword. “Well, perhaps now that the sword is returned and you all are heroes, you’ll have an opportunity.”_
> 
> _“Considering that she’s part of the ‘everybody’ angling for us to get together, I think I’ve been outvoted.” He shrugged. “I can’t complain. Come on, let’s go put the city at ease.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Cullen, Dorian, Bethany, and at least a dozen of Captain Hendallen’s finest were waiting outside when Cassandra and Varric emerged with the sword. There was a collective sigh of relief at the sight of it. “The Divine will be grateful to you,” Cass said, “all of you. You’ve done excellent work. I’m not quite sure I want to know all the methodology that went into it, but excellent work all the same.”_
> 
> _“From what we’ve gotten from this Dread Wolf fellow,” said the captain, “he intended to melt down the sword and sell whatever he made from the metal in order to gain capital for his business empire. Similar to Pheus, but without the bloodshed - at least in theory. It’s been quite a day for Kirkwall.”_
> 
> _“Indeed,” said Cullen. “I have zero illusions that arresting Meredith and Samson will erase corruption in this city overnight, but it will certainly go a long way. I know I’ll sleep better at night with them behind bars.”_
> 
> _“We should get Sunshine home and let everybody else know what happened,” said Varric. “Ev’ll probably sleep better because you’re sleeping better.”_
> 
> _“Probably. Although it won’t fix the sleep talking, I’m sure.” He chuckled. “Now, let’s put this sword business behind us.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _A week later, the worst of the details had been handled, and those which hadn’t were the province of the newly appointed replacement district attorney, Mahanon Lavellan. The detectives and their little circle of newfound friends and allies made their way out to the Adamant club and toasted to their success with a round of drinks. “Not my favorite way to make new friends,” Varric quipped, “but I can’t complain.”_
> 
> _“Well, I met my wife while investigating a bank robbery, I think it only appropriate that I find some new friends while investigating a sword.” Cullen laughed. “No one can accuse us of leading normal lives.”_
> 
> _“Maker forbid.” Varric chuckled, his gaze sweeping the club like a runaway zamboni. “Looks like the club host has a thing for the piano player.”_
> 
> _The club host was a burly man with rough hands and a dark beard, but in the presence of the gold-clad piano player, he was practically putty. There was a vase of roses on her piano that most assuredly had not been there before, and she seemed to be giggling over it with the redheaded singer. “They make a handsome couple,” said Dorian, who seemed to only be half looking at the handsome couple in question; his attention seemed primarily on the other singer._
> 
> _“They do. Well, darling, shall we dance?” Evvy gave her husband a sweet smile. “Otherwise I was brought here under false pretenses.”_
> 
> _“My love, I would like nothing more than to dance with you.” He smiled, stood, and executed a playful little bow. “May I have this dance, my lady?”_
> 
> _“But of course.”_
> 
> _Varric watched them with slight chagrin. “How am I supposed to follow that?” he grumbled. “Well, Sunshine, I promised you a second dance. Would you like it now or later?”_
> 
> _“Now sounds perfect,” she replied, the look in her eyes extremely bright as she got to her feet. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”_
> 
> _“I won’t pretend to know why, but as you wish.” He slid out of his seat and guided her out to the dance floor._
> 
> _Hawke watched them, chuckling. “She’s always had a thing for stocky guys.”_
> 
> _“They’re very well suited,” said Cassandra, who likewise watched the pair, leaning on her hand as she did so. “So romantic.” She sighed dreamily._
> 
> _“Yeah, it could be if he ever loosens up about it. I think he’s afraid of her.”_
> 
> _“Afraid of her or afraid of happiness?” Cassandra inquired sagely._
> 
> _“Both, if I don’t miss my guess,” Dorian put in. “I, on the other hand, am afraid of nothing, so I think I’ll go tender a few requests of the singers.”_
> 
> _“Such as a request to dance with one of them, if I don’t miss_ my _guess?” Hawke teased, grinning._
> 
> _“Possibly. I shan’t jinx myself, however.”_
> 
> _Hawke shook her head, watching him go. “This, I suspect, is only the beginning of our adventures,” she remarked. “Planning to stick around, Right Hand?”_
> 
> _“I think I might.” Cassandra nodded. “At least for a little while. Someone needs to keep an eye on that one, after all.” She pointed at Varric, her tone one of slight suspicion, but friendly overall._
> 
> _“Good. I’m sure the new DA will be glad of it as well,” Hawke teased. She lifted her glass. “Here’s to the next wild ride.”_
> 
> _Cass chuckled and clinked her glass against Hawke’s. “May life always be an adventure - although maybe a little less dangerous next time.”_
> 
> _“Cheers.”_

 

“And a fine ending,” Leliana concluded. “My word, that was quite the roller coaster!”

There was a round of applause as she finished, and a bit of laughter. “It certainly was at that,” said Cullen with a smile. “But extremely creative.”

“Like I said, probably their best one yet.” Varric looked almost like a proud father. “They’re something else.”

“They certainly are that,” said Dorian. “I hope you’ll pass along our compliments. This story of theirs may even inspire me to buy us all fedoras next Wintersend.” He chuckled.

“Can we go skulking?” Evvy laughed. “I’ve never been skulking but it sounds fun.”

“Oh, but of course. It’s a must for any good noir setting, after all,” said Josephine, dissolving into giggles.

“I’ll pencil it in for the Wintersend activity list,” said Leliana, giving the papers back to Varric. “Scheduled skulking time. Well, thank you for sharing that, Varric, it was terribly enjoyable.”

“My pleasure, Songbird.”


	6. Who Says You Can't Go Home Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the announcement comes that Ferelden is going to have a brand new community college system, Skyhold celebrates with a combination party and school reunion - complete with friends, family, new romance, and a bouncy castle (seriously).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest Skyhold Academy readers, the time has come at last for your cameos! We thank you all SO much for your patience as we put this chapter together. And, good news - this is only part one of two! We realized as we started writing it that a celebration this crazy and wonderful deserved two chapters, so there will be even more coming soon. Thank you all for your excitement and enthusiasm for being our alumni - and, of course, thank you in general for your continued love and support.
> 
> Additionally, if any of you are in/are going to be in the Lancaster, Pennsylvania area from May 4th to 6th, LadyNorbert and I are both going to be kicking around Zenkaikon! [https://zenkaikon.com] You can find us doing a few different panels - including a History of Thedas one. We'll give more details as they come, so if any of you are in the area, come find us and say hi in person! Now, without further ado, let's get in to the Skyhold Academy reunion part one!

 

* * *

**Who Says You Can’t Go Home Again?**

* * *

It had been quite a busy few months at Skyhold Academy since the summer. Between the double wedding, another gloriously hectic Wintersend, Cassandra and Mahanon’s ongoing attempt to adopt the baby they hoped to one day call Anthony Lavellan, and other assorted shenanigans, it might have been easy to forget that Krem and Rory had wistfully imagined the establishment of a Fereldan community college. However, Leliana had not forgotten. After Krem had brought the suggestion to her following the summer talent show, she took it to President Theirin, who liked the idea and promised to look into making it a reality.

So Leliana kept her eyes on the mail every day, hoping Alistair would send her an update on whether this dream could come to fruition. Personally, she loved the suggestion, and thought it would be excellent if the students who didn’t want to leave the country still had options for higher education. Therefore, she was delighted one morning to find that her stack of mail included the trademark thick envelope of the President and First Lady of Ferelden.

Inside were two letters. The first letter was an official document, which had been typed out on handsome parchment complete with the President’s official letterhead and was addressed to _Headmistress Leliana Nightingale of Skyhold Academy, Frostback Mountains._ The second letter was a personal one, handwritten with the salutation of _To our dear friend Leli._ But the substance of the two letters was essentially the same - the idea for the college system had been approved. Overjoyed, Leliana reread the personal note at least three times.

 

 

> _To our dear friend Leli,_
> 
> _Good news! After debates and budget meetings and a few favors here and there, we can finally announce with great pride that the Community College of Ferelden is going to become a reality by next year!_
> 
> _If all goes according to plan, there’s going to be a central parent university outside of Denerim - the main campus, if you will. Then, the college system will consist of two or three smaller satellite campuses located throughout the country. As of right now, we’re thinking those smaller colleges will be located in Highever, Gwaren, and Redcliffe. We were also thinking the Redcliffe campus could even be unofficially attached to Skyhold._
> 
> _Obviously, our work is far from done - once everything is approved, we need to break ground and find a worthy staff. We already do have a few benefactors, though. Elissa’s brother is taking a particular interest in the proposed Highever branch, and Anora has made known her intentions to help with the Gwaren campus. In fact, it looks like she might be named dean of that particular campus, although that comes with the caveat that she’ll only agree to do so if she can name the school library after her father. I already had to talk her down from putting a statue of him in the courtyard (compromise - a bust in the library, provided I don’t have to look at it if I come to visit)._
> 
> _But, in spite of the work still to come, this is exciting news and we wanted to share it with you so you could pass it on to our children at the school. This has been a long time coming, but I don’t think it could have happened without you and the kids._
> 
> _All the best!_
> 
> _Your friends, Alistair and Elissa_

Once she was sure she understood what she was seeing, Leliana immediately called a meeting of the senior staff (and Krem) to pass on what the President had told her. Unsurprisingly, the news was met with a resounding cheer and much applause.

“How wonderful!” Josephine said with a look of delight that rivaled Leliana’s own. “I suspect many of the students are going to be thrilled by this prospect.”

“Yes,” Leliana agreed proudly. “We’ll have to tell them at dinner this evening.”

“And I suppose I should start setting up some meetings with a few students who might be interested in it when the time comes,” Josie added. “I know it’s a little while until the school will be open, but it’s never too early to start preparing. Oh, I’m so glad this news came. We should do something to celebrate!”

“Well,” said the headmistress, tapping her chin, “I can’t help but recall the many times we’ve discussed hosting a school reunion, Josie. Maybe we could combine that with a party celebrating this news.”

“I don’t see why not,” Josephine replied. “Some of our graduates went on to the University of Orlais, or one of the smaller institutions on the far side of the Waking Sea. But there were many who didn’t have those opportunities, and I think some of them might be interested in the opportunities presented by this arrangement.”

“So what I’m hearing is I have another party to plan, is that right?” said Dorian, smirking.

“What is it they say?” Cullen remarked with a chuckle. “No rest for the wicked.”

“The founders will definitely need to be brought in for this one,” said Leliana. “We’ll get to work in the meantime tracking down our alumni - and we should invite friends, too. Cullen, are you still in contact with Rylen?” Rylen Knight was a teacher at Griffon Wing Middle School, one of Ferelden’s many public schools, and an old friend of Cullen’s. “We haven’t seen him in ages, I think it would be nice to invite him.”

“Oh, I think he would really enjoy that,” Cullen said pleasantly, nodding. “We’ve been chess partners by mail for a while now, I can definitely contact him. And Michel, maybe you can get in touch with your friends from the University of Orlais, especially if some of our alumni ended up there.”

“I know some of them will be delighted to come,” Michel replied with a nod. “They have been most interested in the stories I tell them about all of you - not to mention taken with some of the photographs I have sent.” He laughed. “My good friend Fairbanks said he would be here tomorrow if he thought our esteemed headmistress would give him the time of day.”

Leliana laughed. “That’s very flattering. Yes, you should absolutely invite them, we would be happy to have them here. Is there anyone else we’re forgetting?”

“Maybe some of our extended family members?” Evvy ventured. “I mean, I doubt too many of mine would come, if any, but Cullen’s siblings probably would. Which I’m sure Michel wouldn’t mind,” she added playfully. “And what about your friend Zevran, Leliana? He’s an old friend of the founders too, didn’t you tell us that?”

“He is indeed. I’m sure he would love to come if he isn’t too busy.” Leliana smiled.

“And I’ll give my siblings a call,” said Cullen. “If they don’t work, I can guarantee they’ll come - they never miss a chance to see their niece and nephew. And Mia never misses a chance to see Michel.” He chuckled. “Oh, do you think any of the Kirkwall gang will want to come?” This last was directed to Hawke, Bethany, and Varric.

“Aveline will probably make noises about not being able to get away from work,” Varric mused. “And Isabela - we never know where she is. I suppose Choirboy might put in an appearance. Maybe Daisy.”

“Maybe I can catch Fenris when he’s between performances,” Hawke added. “Or I can suggest he brings the troupe along with him and they can be the evening’s entertainment,” she added with a laugh.

“I for one would not mind an evening of ballet,” said Josephine eagerly. “If they don’t mind, that is. Failing that, I suppose karaoke is always an option?”

“I’ll see what he says when I call him tonight,” Hawke promised. “Although I’m sure karaoke would be fun too.”

From his place, Dorian was scribbling everything down furiously. “Just make sure you all get me final details and headcounts, that’s all I ask,” he said, still bent over the notebook. “If I am going to plan this, I need concrete details.”

“It’s going to be enormous,” said Hawke, amused. “For maybe the first time, I’m a little concerned about whether the castle will have enough room for everyone and everything. Maybe we’d better reserve a block of rooms at the Redcliffe Inn, just in case we need them for people to sleep.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Josephine, taking notes of her own now. “I’ll take care of it. And I can speak to a caterer for the occasion as well - a few in Redcliffe owe me favors.” She chuckled.

“Ruffles, the Maker Himself probably owes _you_ favors,” Varric retorted with a laugh. He glanced at Bethany. “Any thoughts, Sunshine? Did you want to invite any of those cute nurses I met?” He winked.

Bethany laughed in response. “Only if I can invite… no, I don’t even have any admirers I can say I’ll invite in retaliation,” she said, laughing again.

“You probably have a ton of admirers and you just don’t know about it. All right, we’ll leave the nurses off the list - if we didn’t invite them to the wedding, I doubt they’ll come over to hang out with a bunch of strangers,” he mused. “I do feel like we’re forgetting somebody, though. Oh! The Iron Lady should get an invite - we haven’t seen her in ages. Anyone else?”

“Well, let’s start with this list for now,” Leliana suggested. “If anyone else comes to mind, we’ll add them in too. Don’t worry, Dorian,” she added with amusement, seeing the resident party planner lift an eyebrow, “we’ll give you plenty of time. No eleventh hour additions, I promise.”

“Maybe we could just recycle all the guest lists from recent events,” Evvy offered, chuckling, “and then add to that.”

“Probably not a bad idea,” Dorian agreed. “We can post it in the staff room and just add to it as needed. Might be easier.”

“I will send an email to my friends at the University tonight and let you know what responses I get,” Michel promised.

“And I’ll speak to my siblings,” Cullen added.

“Josie and I will work on the alumni list in the meantime,” said Leliana with a smile. “Thank you for your suggestions, everyone. I’m so pleased you’re all as excited as I am.”

“Can we get a bouncy house?” asked Bull. “Or maybe a ball pit?”

“No, we may not,” said Dorian at once.

Leliana, however, looked amused. “I’ll see what I can do, Bull,” she assured him, winking.

“Think of the children, _kadan_ ,” Bull objected mildly. “Leliana is.”

“Think of the children, he says. I will not be swayed by emotional blackmail,” Dorian replied, pointing with his pen. “I can already hear Cullen saying ‘but Dorian, Cole’s never been in a bouncy house.’”

“Well, he hasn’t,” said Evvy mildly. “But never mind that just now. Let’s pick a date for these shenanigans - a long weekend, perhaps? We’ll go mad if we try to cram it all into one day.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” said Cassandra. “And we’ll try not to make it _too_ close to Skye’s birthday - we don’t want Dorian to drop from all this party planning, after all.”

“Yes, I think the celebration for Skye should be considerably less overblown than this.” The child’s mother chuckled. “My Fairy Godfather works magic on the regular, but I’d rather he not overextend himself.”

“Don’t worry, my dear, I’ll be fine,” he promised. “Little Miss Skye’s birthday will still be wonderful, even if it is less chaotic than this. I would never deliver anything less than perfection for Cinderella and Prince Charming’s little princess.”

“Oh, I haven’t a doubt of that, Dori. I just don’t want you to run yourself ragged in the process.”

“If I’m in danger of overdoing it, I’m sure you will stop me and insist I rest.” He chuckled. “But I appreciate the concern.”

“All right, well,” said Josephine, “I think we’ve each got some people to contact or other work to do to prepare for this. We should perhaps get started.” She smiled. “I do look forward to the students’ response.”

“I suspect there will be some squealing,” said Solas, his lips twitching. “But that’s just a guess.”

“Isn’t there always?” This from Blackwall. “Especially when we promise them pudding at the same time.”

There was a general chuckle at that. “Maybe we can have a repeat of the last wedding announcement,” said Cullen, recalling Rocky’s words. “‘Is it true? There’s going to be _pudding_?’” He laughed.

“Legendary,” Hawke agreed, likewise snickering.

“It was priceless,” said Varric, grinning. “I couldn’t have written a better reaction if I’d tried.”

“Well, I’ll have Felix on standby to record the whole thing,” Dorian promised. “Just in case we get any more priceless reactions.”

* * *

The staff were clearly struggling to hide their own excitement when the school gathered for the evening meal. Leliana was openly beaming as she stood and held up her hands for silence. “We normally save announcements for breakfast,” she said, “but we just couldn’t wait for this one. It’s actually a double announcement. First, I’m very pleased to inform you all - most especially those who will soon be graduating - that our beloved President and First Lady are in the process of establishing a community college system throughout Ferelden. One of the hubs of the system will be based out of our own dear Redcliffe, and nominally attached to Skyhold, which means that if you enroll… well, you don’t have to go very far away just yet.”

There was a collective gasp at the news, followed by a lot of excited chatter. At the prospect of not having to stray too far from their beloved Skyhold, a few of the students may have actually gotten a bit misty-eyed, although it was impossible to tell for sure. For many of them, Skyhold was the only worthwhile home they had ever had, and so this news was especially welcome. After letting the headmistress’s words absorb for a moment, the students’ happy conversations almost halted the announcements entirely.

“I’m not done,” Leliana protested, laughing as she held up her hands again. Once they had quieted, she continued, “Because of this marvelous news, we’ve decided to go ahead with something we’ve been considering for a while. In a few weeks, we’re going to have a big celebration - which will also double as a school reunion. All of our graduates are being invited back, along with many of our friends, some of whom you know and others whom you don’t. So we expect you to be on your best behavior and make them all feel welcome, and show them what Skyhold spirit is all about.”

If it was possible, the excitement for this news was even greater than it had been for the first. While the first announcement was deeply personal, the second announcement promised a bit of good fun, which was always a favorite among the students, naturally. There was a lot of clapping, gossiping, and (as predicted) a fair bit of squealing.

“I’m not saying,” Leliana added, “that there will be karaoke. But it’s on the list of possibilities. We’re also discussing a bouncy castle. Details as they develop.”

At that, there was an even greater cheer, causing Dorian to shake his head. “I really do have to get them a bouncy castle now, don’t I?”

“It’ll be a hit,” Bull assured him. “They’ll be talking about this party for the rest of their lives.”

Dorian groaned comically. “Apparently emotional blackmail _does_ work on me, I stand corrected. Let the record show I was never this easily manipulated before I met you people.” He chuckled.

“ _We love you Dorian, oh yes we do_ ,” Evvy sang quietly, trying not to laugh. “ _We love you Dorian, and we’ll be true…_ ”

“Keep that up, Cinderella, and I’ll make you sing a karaoke duet with me during this soiree,” he warned playfully. “Just like our ‘Ballroom Blitz’ duet, I swear.”

“Is that a threat, serah? Would you truly threaten the mother of your little princess?” Evvy looked at Skye, whom she was holding until Cullen finished eating. “What do you think of that, love?”

“Dodo!” came the reply. It sounded almost scolding, which made Bull crack up laughing.

His lips quirking, Dorian pretended to look shocked. “Well, I can handle just about anything but a rebuke from Princess Skye. Whatever shall I do?” He put his hands dramatically over his heart.

Skye giggled, holding out her chubby hands to him. “Dodo!” she said again, this time more clearly delighted.

“Ah! And I am forgiven! What a relief,” he said, taking her hand and bowing his head over it like he was truly bowing to a princess. “All is well in the kingdom again.”

Evvy laughed. “She is a merciful despot,” she noted, kissing her daughter’s downy head. “Luckily for us all. Now, let Uncle Dodo eat, darling, maybe he’ll hold you when he’s done - if Da hasn’t claimed you already.”

“Unlikely,” said Cullen from Evvy’s other side, wearing a smile. “But I’ll be kind and share, I promise.”

“Speaking of merciful despots,” Bull noted with a laugh. “I think we can see where Skye gets it.”

Cullen held up his arms in a shrug, still smiling. “I can’t deny it.”

“In Cullen’s defense, though,” added Bethany, gesturing to Skye, “just look at that face. I imagine it would be hard to share that much cuteness with others.”

“Spoken like an expert on cute,” Hawke teased her. “Varric probably has the same problem.”

“Hm?” Varric glanced up from where he was making story notes in his phone. “Why am I hearing my name invoked?”

“I was just commenting that Skye’s so adorable I imagine it’s hard to share her with others and Marian said it was spoken like an expert on cute,” Bethany explained, grinning. “And that you probably have the same problem.”

“Ohh. Well, I can’t argue with any of what you said.” He paused, and smirked. “It’s hard being this adorable.”

“I know, dear, and you do it so well,” she replied with a laugh and a sunny smile. “You bear that burden perfectly.”

“Work, work, work,” he said with a sigh.

“Ugh,” said Cassandra, rolling her eyes but still looking amused.

“Changing gears entirely,” said Dorian, wearing a twin expression to Cassandra’s, “if we’re speaking of adorable things, I would like to point out that _that_ is my favorite reaction thus far.” He pointed out to one of the students’ tables where Rory had all but mobbed Krem in a hug, as the college system had, in many ways, been his idea in the first place.

“She’s so proud of him for coming up with this,” said Leliana fondly. “As we all should be. He really was the one who started the snowball. Hopefully he’ll make use of the classes being offered himself.”

“I hope so too, I think it would be great for him,” Cullen noted. “And, with the campus in Redcliffe, he could still stay close. I think that’s my favorite part of the whole thing, honestly - that the students not only get to stay in Ferelden, but that the ones who want to remain even closer have the option to do so.”

“And some of those who have left will come back. That idea does the heart good,” said Blackwall, gruffly.

Josephine favored him with a soft smile. “Yes. In many ways, it just reminds me of why this place is so special - and why what we do is so special too.”

“It _will_ be nice to see what some of them have done with themselves since they left us,” Varric remarked. “Our graduating classes are never exactly large, but we get so busy here that it’s easy to lose track sometimes.”

“Yes, quite,” said Dorian. “And I imagine our alumni will be quite surprised to learn of some of the changes that have happened since they left.”

“I’m looking forward to meeting them, myself,” said Evvy. “But yes, there are a few surprises awaiting them here, aren’t there?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Cullen chuckled. “I suspect ‘who are you people and what have you done with our teachers?’ may come up a bit - particularly when they see me out and about, not sequestered away in my room.”

“They’ll think we’ve replaced you with some sort of interactive robot, Curly,” Varric teased him. “The real Cullen Rutherford is kept in a secret room in the library, surrounded by history texts and out of the sunlight.”

There was a laugh at that. “Oh, I don’t know, Varric,” said Hawke. “If they’re surprised to see Cullen in the sun _light_ , I think they’ll be even more surprised to see you with the sun _shine_.” Both she and Bethany were grinning.

“What’s surprising about me enjoying the attentions of a beautiful woman?” he deadpanned.

“The fact that she enjoys your attentions right back?” Dorian teased, his tone obviously light and jocular.

“Hm. You’ve got me there, Sparkler. That _is_ surprising.”

“Agree to disagree, my dear,” said Bethany, kissing his cheek. “Agree to disagree.”

“No argument here, Sunshine. This isn’t going to be too much for you, is it? We’re talking about a lot of extra work and extra people and extra noise. I don’t want you overdoing it.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll be just fine,” she assured him. “And if I do get tired, married housing is far enough away from the rest of the castle that I can sneak away for a nap without the noise bothering me. I promise I won’t overdo it. Alas, that means no partaking of this bouncy castle we’ve all been promised.” She laughed.

“We’ll find a way to make it up to you,” said Hawke, also laughing. “Maybe we can rent a carousel, I think you could handle that.”

“Now that would be fun,” she agreed. “Although if we go much further, poor Dorian will end up planning an entire carnival.”

“Maker’s breath, could you see that? The Skyhold reunion carnival.” Blackwall chuckled. “Sounds like an adventure.”

“Everything is an adventure with us,” Cullen pointed out, likewise joining in the laughter. “I think it comes with the territory of being the ‘best school ever.’”

“Works for me,” said Varric.

* * *

The next several days passed quickly with plans for the reunion celebration being made during everyone’s free time. Josephine contacted caterers and made hotel reservations as she said she would while Leliana reached out to as many alumni as she could find information for. They had assembled a tidy list in short order, which included the school’s very first valedictorian, Delrin Barris, and several others.

“We’ve not yet had enough graduates to have an alumni committee,” the headmistress remarked one evening in the staff room. “Perhaps when our current crop of seniors graduate we shall have to consider making one.”

Meanwhile, the staff reached out to their friends and family members. Cullen’s siblings were all eager to attend, as were several of Michel’s former colleagues at the University of Orlais and, of course, Alistair and Elissa. Rylen was also thrilled by the idea and promised to clear his schedule to come too. Evvy was not surprised that her parents declined to make the trip, but she was happy to report that her brother Nathaniel would be accompanying Mahanon for the visit.

“So how many does that make now?” said Dorian a few days before the event, counting on his fingers. “Between Cullen’s family and Evvy’s brothers both biological and otherwise and our Headmistress’s associates and Rylen... that’s nine. Michel, how many of your colleagues will be here?”

“I can confirm that Fairbanks, Frederic, and Kenric are planning to come,” he replied. “Bram is a history professor - he’s been looking forward to meeting our esteemed Professor Rutherford to compare notes about the Frostback Mountains. And I’m told that the university’s chemistry professor Lady Morrigan plans to come as well.”

“Oh,” said Leliana in a tone that was forcibly cheerful. “Well, I’m sure Elissa will be very pleased to see her.” She cleared her throat. “Hawke, Varric, any word from Kirkwall?”

“Merrill’s coming,” Varric replied. “Aveline and Donnic send their regrets, and I haven’t heard from Isabela.”

“Fenris will try to be here, and he was amused by the idea of inviting his whole troupe,” Hawke added. “I don’t think it’s feasible, but he said that might be something we could arrange in the future.”

“That would be wonderful,” said Leliana. “I’ll keep it in mind. Oh! And did anyone get in touch with Madam de Fer yet? I don’t know if she’ll come, especially if Morrigan will also be here, but we should definitely at least ask.”

“I sent her the formal engraved invitation,” Josephine reported. “She does like to do things properly, after all. We should have her response within a few days.”

“Excellent, excellent,” said Dorian, putting checkmarks by names on his list. “And I believe we’ve heard back from approximately twenty alumni. Do let me know a final count as soon as possible.”

“What else needs to be done?” Blackwall asked.

“You _are_ ordering cake, yes?” added Solas. “Preferably multiple cakes.”

“Of course. What’s a Skyhold celebration without cake?” said Dorian with a chuckle. “I believe Ms. Montilyet’s caterers are working some magic.”

“And I have a call in to an Orlesian bakery to see about getting some of those little cakes they sell in Val Royeaux,” Leliana promised, grinning.

“Oh, I love tiny cakes!” Evvy said delightedly. “Just - not that ‘exquisite misery’ kind, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I think we’ll stick with chocolate and vanilla. Maybe a bit of blueberry for Cullen.” She chuckled.

“You have my thanks,” said the history professor, likewise chuckling. “Now, the question of the hour - is there truly going to be a bouncy castle?”

“We could put it to a vote,” Bull offered. “Would that sway you, _kadan_?”

“I’m fairly certain I would be outvoted,” said Dorian, amused. “If our dear Ms. Montilyet and Headmistress Nightingale approve the expense, I’ll make some phone calls.”

“Bouncy castle is go!” Bull looked delighted. “Yes!”

Dorian shook his head, chuckling. “The bouncy castle is for the children, _amatus_. The _children_.”

“Aren’t we all children at heart, _kadan_?”

“Yes, this is my _amatus,_ Maker help me,” Dorian said, still chuckling.

“There’s no one quite like him,” Evvy noted innocently. “And you’d have him no other way, let’s be honest.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t change him for the world.” He gave Bull an affectionate smile. “And now that’s enough syrupiness for one day, thank you.”

Everyone chuckled. “Well, now that that’s settled,” said Varric, “let’s get down to business. It’s a shame this isn’t one of my stories where we could just insert a time skip and go right to the fully prepared festivities.”

“Quite. I could definitely go for a time skip,” said the resident party planner, holding up his notebook full of hastily scribbled notes. “There is still a lot to do.”

“Divide and conquer?” Cullen suggested.

“Divide and conquer,” his wife agreed.

* * *

Even without a time skip, the final days flew by in a haze of preparation (and, on the part of the students, much squealing) and soon the day was upon them. The great hall had been decorated, as had the courtyards, and there were tables of food and drink scattered throughout the entire school. Nearly everyone was armed with a camera to commemorate the event and, in characteristic fashion, Dorian was fretting as he waited for guests to arrive.

“Dori,” Evvy chided him fondly, “you’re pacing again. Come and have a little tea, it’ll settle your nerves. Everything is going to be brilliant.”

“Oh, but my dear, I pace so well,” he returned, smiling slightly. But he nevertheless conceded. “You’re right, of course. I just always tend to worry when we have dignitaries coming. And when we celebrate in general. But especially now - I know how important this is to everyone.”

“And when have you ever not risen to the occasion?” she reminded him. “We know how hard you’ve worked, and if anything goes wrong it will _not_ be the fault of my Fairy Godfather. But nothing will go wrong.”

“Yes, nothing will go wrong,” he said, in a tone of voice that suggested he was trying to soothe himself. He took a deep breath. “All right. I believe you said there was tea?”

“Right this way.”

Several of the other senior teachers had collected in the staff lounge to sort of prepare themselves for the coming festivities, and there was rather a preponderance of tea available. “Our intrepid party planner has the jitters,” said Evvy as they entered the room. “Leliana, I think he needs your blend.”

“Oh, of course, I’m always happy to oblige that request.” She smiled and set about preparing a cup. “A popular order tonight.”

“Any idea when people will start arriving?” Blackwall wondered.

“The President and First Lady should be here any minute,” Leliana reported. “And the rest of our personal guests should trickle in after them. The alumni are set to arrive in about half an hour, by the look of things. I’ve made sure they have transportation here, so they should all arrive together.”

“So we’re all just hanging out listening for chopper blades,” Varric concluded. “Curly went into town to meet the train that’s bringing his siblings, I think he took the kids with him.”

“Right.” Dorian took a sip from the cup Leliana handed him. “And do we have someone set to meet the President and First Lady when they arrive?”

“Oh, I was expecting to do it,” said Leliana. “I’ve known them too long to be overwhelmed by the pomp. Besides, at this point, an executive visit to Skyhold is practically old news to the world. I expect they’ll try to have as little fanfare about it as possible.”

“My thanks to our illustrious headmistress. One less thing I have to worry about.” Dorian nodded his thanks, then smiled. “So what about our current students? Are they excited? As if I even need to ask.”

“When are they not excited?” Varric chuckled. “All any of them could say all day was ‘I can’t wait!’ and ‘I hope so-and-so shows up, I haven’t seen them in forever.’ The older kids are really hoping to catch sight of Barris, I know that - he was a mentor to some of them.”

“Yes, I suspect he’s going to get a hero’s welcome,” said Josephine with a laugh. “I look forward to seeing all the reactions.”

“Several of the students have been telling me about some of the alumni they most want to see,” Evvy added. “I think a few of them are worried that I’ll feel left out, which is really very sweet of them.”

“That is sweet,” Leliana agreed. “I think you’ll really enjoy meeting them. I just hope they don’t overwhelm you with questions,” she added with a laugh.

“Let’s not kid ourselves. Of course they will,” said Bull with a grin. “It’s what they do.”

“Well, yes, that is true.” The headmistress chuckled, then checked her watch. “Oh, I should go out front and await our founders, shouldn’t I?”

“Probably. Is there anything you’d like the rest of us to do?” asked Josephine.

“Just keep our favorite party planner from collapsing,” she said mirthfully, giving Dorian’s hand a squeeze as she got to her feet. “Once that’s accomplished and the rest of our guests start to arrive, you can help greet old friends and help corral our students. That would be very helpful.”

“I think we can manage that. Student wrangling is an intrinsic part of our job description,” said Varric. “And I think I do hear an approaching helicopter, seriously.”

“That’s my cue, then! I’ll be back in a moment.” Smiling brightly, she hurried from the room in the direction of the school’s helipad.

“Finish your tea, Dori,” Evvy told him. “Don’t even think about getting up until you do.”

Dorian had indeed been in the process of rising to his feet and eased back down now. “As you say, my dear Cinderella,” he said, smiling and sipping his tea as if to show he was obeying. “Any word from your Prince Charming? Has he collected the rest of the clan?”

“Let’s see.” She pulled out her phone. “Oh, yes, I missed a text - look, Cole and Skye with their aunts and uncle.” She showed him the image.

“Oh, look at that.” He smiled. Josephine immediately came over and peered over his shoulder, letting out an approving coo. “Yes, they are adorable.”

“Branson likes to laugh at Rosalie and Mia pretending to argue over who is the favorite aunt,” said Evvy with a grin. “He’s so smug in his conviction that he’s the favorite uncle, he forgets that the kids have three other uncles on my side of the family. He’s going to be in competition with both Non _and_ Nat this time.”

“It’s going to be a bloodbath, surely. Alas, they’re all going to be completely blown out of the water, because _I_ am obviously the favorite uncle,” said Dorian with a teasing bravado, grinning all the while.

“ _You_ are so clearly the favorite that you have to be taken out of the running altogether,” she retorted with a laugh. “You’re on a completely separate level of unclehood, not least because you’re here all the time.”

“Ah, yes, you’re quite right. Otherwise it would just be completely unfair.”

“It’s as I like to say,” said Bethany, grinning, “one must be merciful.”

“Wait a second,” Varric objected. “Am I not up for consideration? I’m the _whiskey uncle_ , that’s got to count for something.”

“I think much like Dorian, you’re in a league of your own,” said Hawke, chuckling. “You are, after all, the famous Dodo and Ick.”

He considered this, or at least pretended to consider it. “I can live with that,” he decided.

“I can as well,” said Dorian, lifting his mug of tea in Varric’s direction in a toast.

Shortly thereafter, Leliana arrived once more, wearing the type of smile that was the hallmark of her old friends’ arrival. “They’re here,” she reported, poking her head inside the staff room.

“Should we come out there, or would they like to refresh themselves in here first?” Josephine asked. “There’s still plenty of tea.”

“I’ll send them in here to you,” the headmistress decided. “I think Zevran should also be arriving soon, so I’ll go collect him as well.”

A few minutes later, the President and First Lady of Ferelden were in the lounge, and trying to wave off the teachers’ attempts to salute or bow. “Trust Skyhold not to shy away from any excuse to throw a party,” Alistair joked. “There will be cheese, I hope?”

“Oh, yes, we made sure of it,” Josephine assured him, chuckling. “We were all so overjoyed to hear the college plan was approved - we wanted to make sure this celebration was worthy of that news.”

“What’s this Leliana said about a bouncy castle?” Elissa wanted to know. “Was she quite serious?”

“Yes, Your Excellency, unfortunately she _is_ quite serious,” said Dorian, although his tone was obviously light. “I’ve been assured it’s going to be a hit.”

“I haven’t a doubt of it. But please don’t be so formal, Professor,” the First Lady added. “We _do_ consider ourselves part of the Skyhold family, after all.”

“And we consider you part of the family as well,” he replied with a smile. “Although your honorifics are apt, as the excellence of our founders is indeed hard to deny.”

“You’re too sweet. But please, for a few days, we’d like to just be Alistair and Elissa, if you wouldn’t mind.” She chuckled.

“I think we can manage that,” he promised, likewise chuckling. “Now, can we get you anything while we all wait?”

“I wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea, if you’d be so kind - Alistair?”

“Hm. Got any hot chocolate?”

“Always,” Evvy assured him. “It’s my preferred drink. Let me get you some.”

In short order, they were installed with their drinks just as Leliana returned with Zevran and was making introductions to those who didn't know him. “Oh, and Evvy, Cullen is back with his siblings too.”

“Oh good. Anyone care to make a bet on which one is currently monopolizing my daughter?” Evvy joked.

“Hmm.” Dorian tapped his chin. “Provided they were able to get her out of her father’s arms? My money would be on Miss Mia.”

“I would say Rosalie,” Cass interjected good-naturedly. “ _If_ Cullen relinquished her, yes.”

“Yeah, my money’s on Curly-Da,” said Varric, nodding. “He might have surrendered her briefly, but he’s got her back by now.”

“That sounds about right,” Dorian agreed with a laugh. “There are too many variables for me to want to lay actual money down on it - those variables being Cullen’s oft-mentioned inability to let that child out of his sight.”

A moment later, Cullen proved their suspicions correct as he led his siblings into the staff room, Cole trailing behind them all. Mia was playing peek-a-boo with Skye, but she was definitely not holding the child - that honor did indeed go to her father, who had Skye on his hip as they walked in. Dorian and Cass glanced at each other and chuckled slightly. “What?” Cullen inquired. “What did I do now?”

Everyone laughed. “Just lived up to expectations, Curly,” Varric assured him. “Hey, people who are pretending not to be visiting dignitaries for a couple days, have you met the littlest Skyhold resident yet?”

“Come to think of it,” said Alistair, “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure. We got to see her as young Belle during the play a few months back, of course, but I don’t think we got any face time with the young star-in-the-making.”

Cullen was naturally only too happy to correct that, introducing the little girl to both President and First Lady. It seemed only appropriate, given the fact that the Alistair had been the one to marry Cullen and Evvy. “May I?” asked Elissa, holding out her arms.

“Oh, of course,” said Cullen, shifting Skye carefully into Elissa’s outstretched arms. “Darling, this is the First La- uh, Elissa.”

“Madam First Lady, congratulations on getting him to do what we could not,” said Mia with a laugh.

The First Lady chuckled. “While we’re in Skyhold, please just call us by our names,” she said, then smiled at the toddler. “Hello, beautiful. I hear that you’re the one who keeps your father in line. And Cole, I also hear that little Skye couldn’t ask for a better brother.”

“Thank you. It’s not hard when I have a sister like Skye,” said Cole with a little nod. He looked a bit delighted by the compliment. “Father always says if he is good, it’s because Mother saw the good in him first. I think maybe the same is true of me and Skye. She trusts me, so I can trust myself.”

Alistair looked only a little surprised. “I’m starting to see what you mean about the boy,” he said quietly to Leliana. “Wisdom like that, I may need to recruit him for my cabinet in a few years.”

Leliana chuckled softly. “He’s really quite something, isn’t he? He always has been so sweet and clever, but since he became Cullen and Evvy’s son - and especially after Skye’s birth - he’s come into his own even more. He would be a fantastic addition to any presidential cabinet, unless he becomes a famous poet first, that is.” She smiled warmly.

“I’ll keep it in mind. So, Master Dorian, what can we expect from this cavalcade you’ve prepared for us?” the President inquired.

“Well, we have about twenty or so of our alumni and as many friends of the school as could make it still set to arrive. Nothing too terribly formal once they do, really. When everyone’s here, it’s going to become what Skyhold does best - reminiscing, telling stories, maybe a few songs. There will be a few structured elements - for the actual reunion part - but otherwise there’s going to be a degree of freedom, I think.”

“Well, thank the Maker for that!” Alistair laughed. “It’s going to feel like a vacation, not being on a tight schedule!”

“Yes, I imagine so,” said Dorian, likewise laughing. “Our schedules are nowhere near as nightmarish as yours, I’m sure, but hopefully everyone finds it as enjoyable.”

“Liss and I are here - trust me,” came the reassuring reply, “we’re already having a great time. Skyhold is very… important. In many ways.”

“It certainly is that.” It was Leliana who spoke, but all the teachers were nodding or speaking similar words of agreement.

* * *

As Leliana had predicted, the rest of the staff’s personal guests arrived sporadically, where they were greeted by both the headmistress and by the staff member or members who had invited them. Michel’s colleagues arrived together and he greeted them all with great enthusiasm, looking forward to giving them a tour of the magnificent castle. While he was busy herding them inside, Bethany and Merrill were busy embracing and Cullen was clapping Rylen on the back.

“Welcome everyone,” said Leliana, beaming as she gestured for them to come into the great hall. “Thank you for coming. To those of you who haven’t been here yet, we look forward to showing you around. Please, make yourselves at home.”

There was a small sound of joy just then, almost like a minor explosion, and Delrin Barris found himself surrounded by Krem and the other Chargers who had known him as a student. Varric translated for the bewildered Evvy. “Barris was the head of the color guard - not a football player,” he said. “But he was lucky enough to come from a pretty functional background, so he was sort of a big brother figure to a lot of the younger kids.”

“That’s really sweet.” She smiled. “I look forward to getting to meet the graduates I don’t already know.”

Barris was the head of the group of alumni that trooped in, all of whom immediately began to smile at the familiar sight of their old school and old friends. While most school reunions were all from a specific year or class, Skyhold’s small size meant that its entire pool of alumni was smaller than the average graduating class of a major school by half at least. Therefore, all those who could attend were lumped together - one big happy Skyhold family, just like old times. Some had only just graduated the previous school year, and thus Skyhold hadn’t changed much in their eyes, but others, like Barris, had graduated three or four years ago and they looked around as if slowly remembering each stone. One thing they all shared, however, was a fond smile for the school that had protected them for so long and the people that made it special.

“Maker, how have you all been?” Barris was crowing, flinging his arms around the Chargers collectively and laughing a warm, rich laugh. “The Facebook updates simply aren’t enough. Nothing compares to being here, I almost forgot what it feels like.”

“It’s gotten weirder. But happier too. Man, there’s been a _lot_ of changes,” Rocky said.

“And new people for you to meet. Or re-meet, in the case of Mrs. Tethras,” Krem joked. “You saw the pictures, right?”

“Oh, I saw them. You know the expression ‘pics or it didn’t happen?’ Well, I saw the pictures and I’m still not entirely convinced of what I saw.” He chuckled good-naturedly. “And Professor Pentaghast got married the same day, right? _And_ Professor Rutherford’s wedding was about a year and a half before that? I’ve missed a lot!”

“Oh yeah, that’s Mrs. R over there with Professor T. Come on, we’ll introduce you.”

While the Chargers led Barris over to Evvy and Varric, the Partners in Crime were meanwhile having an extremely delighted reunion with another group of alumni. There was a great deal of jumping up and down and hugging, while Jim introduced Seamus to those students who had left before his arrival.

“Seamus Driscoll, at your service,” said the Starkhavener, sounding and looking perplexed as usual. “I do hope there’s not going to be a quiz on all these names.”

The group laughed. “No quiz,” promised the girl called Ally. “Hey, what’s this I hear about Cole being adopted? I always liked him, he was sweet to the stray cat that got taken by one of the gate monitors.”

“Yeah, and by Professor Rutherford, no less, right?” said another one of the girls, Amyllia. “I saw the pictures of his daughter too. Maker’s breath, she’s adorable!”

“Oh, she really is,” said Rory with a delighted giggle. “They named her Skye after Skyhold. Isn’t that cute?”

There was a chorus of awwing. “I still can’t believe he got married,” admitted Nora. “I mean, everybody always liked him - and he was never hard on the eyes - but he was so shy!”

“And he was still super shy in those early days with the future Mrs. Rutherford,” Jim confirmed.

“Rory and I used to pass notes in history class about it,” Nessa added. “ _Aren’t they so cute? Maker, I’m going to die_. Stuff like that.”

“Well, in fairness, we were passing notes in history class long before Mrs. Rutherford ever came to the school,” said Rory. “Usually we squealed about how pretty Professor Rutherford is.”

“Oh, we would too,” said Rachel, gesturing between herself, Alex, and Anna. To another student, she added, “Remember all the gossiping we would do during lunch, Mel?”

“Maker, yes.” Mel laughed. “Although it’s a good thing that Professor de Chevin wasn’t here at the time. I think some of us would have imploded!”

“Yeah, there was kind of a conflict when he first came,” Nessa admitted. “Everybody still loved Professor Rutherford, but at the same time...”

“The struggle was real,” Rory finished for her. “For some people, that is. Professor de Chevin is so great, but I remained firmly on Team Rutherford.” She laughed. “But an abundance of gorgeousness never goes amiss,” she added conspiratorially, then laughed again.

“So just how _did_ Professor Rutherford meet his wife?” Morgen asked.

“Ms. Hawke took a sabbatical for a year,” Jim explained. “Miss Trevelyan came to fill in, and well, the rest is history.”

“Okay, this is a story I’ve got to hear.” Kris laughed. “I want to know _everything_.”

“Me too,” said Ember. “Start from the beginning.”

“That could take a while,” Jim warned, grinning.

“I think we’ve got the time.” Ally giggled and the rest of the group followed suit.

* * *

Mahanon turned up somewhere in the middle of the afternoon, and was mildly baffled (though mostly amused) by the even larger quantity of chaos than he was accustomed to finding in Skyhold. “Good thing I’ve got a bed reserved,” he teased Cassandra, finding her and sliding an arm around her. “This place is jam packed!”

“It really is,” she agreed. “We expected it was going to be quite the gathering, but I have to say this has surpassed even my expectations.” She settled into his arms for a moment. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“As am I, my lady.” He chuckled, seeing a few of the returning alumni watching them with wide-eyed interest. “How has it been so far?”

“Probably exactly what you would expect - a lot of squealing and gossiping. And that’s just from the adults in the room,” she joked. “In all seriousness, it’s been wonderful to see everyone again and to have so many of our friends together.”

“Well, you probably know what I’m going to ask next.” He gave her a mischievous grin. “Which way to the bouncy castle?”

“Why am I not surprised?” she returned, likewise smiling. “All right, follow me. Let’s see this infamous bouncy castle for ourselves.”

“I could say something tasteless, but out of respect for our surroundings I’ll keep my unruly thoughts to myself,” he teased, trailing after her. The bouncy castle was set up in the gym and, unsurprisingly, there was a long line of students and alumni waiting for their turn.

“So Bull was right, it is a hit.” She chuckled. “Not that there was much of a doubt, granted, but still. There was a fair bit of arm-twisting to get Dorian to agree,” she explained, chuckling again.

“I can only imagine how _that_ conversation must have gone.” Mahanon laughed. “I guess we’re not getting in there any time soon. Where’s the rest of my weird extended family?”

“Last I checked, Evvy was talking to some of the alumni she doesn’t already know, which of course means Cullen and Skye are nearby, unless he took her back to the apartment for a little while. I think Cole might be with his friends. And the rest of them... well, there have been a lot of introductions and catching up with old friends. I’m sure we’ll find them around the main hall, perhaps near the staff room.”

“Well, Mrs. Lavellan, I am here for the purpose of you showing me off, so lead the way.” He winked.

“Yes, it will go something like this, I’m sure - _this is my husband, he thinks he’s_ hilarious,” she said teasingly, kissing him before taking his hand to lead the way as requested.

They found most of the other teachers clustered in the upper bailey, where Michel was presenting a number of his old friends from the University of Orlais. “Ah, here come two more of our strays,” he said, raising a hand in greeting at their approach. “Mahanon Lavellan is our good Professor Pentaghast’s husband, as of not so very long ago. Allow me to introduce Professors Evariste Fairbanks, Frederic Serault, and Bram Kenric.”

“Pleased to meet you, gentlemen,” said Cassandra, shaking hands with each of them in turn. “We’ve heard about each one of you - Michel speaks of you all very highly.”

“And he sends us the most fascinating stories about all of you.” Fairbanks chuckled. “If he didn’t occasionally include photographs, I’d be forced to conclude he was getting Master Tethras to ghostwrite his adventures and make them more interesting than they really are.”

“Trust me, Woodsy, the antics in Skyhold don’t require embellishment,” said Varric, walking up.

“And speak of the devil,” Cass said dryly. “I see you’ve already gifted Professor Fairbanks with a nickname. That didn’t take long.”

“Does it ever, General?” he retorted. “And as with all of my nicknames, it’s perfectly apt. Fairbanks runs one of the university’s biggest camping electives, for those people who enjoy sleeping on rocks and walking uphill.”

“Ah, I see. Camping is one thing we've never done here - probably because there are many here who feel the same way about the outdoors as Professor Tethras.” She chuckled, then turned to Kenric. “Oh, speaking of the outdoors, have you had a chance to speak to Cullen, Professor? I know you were eager to speak with him about - forgive me if I’m wrong - the Frostback Basin?”

“Your history professor! Yes, I’m very much looking forward to the conversation,” he replied. “I’m given to understand that his little girl needed a nap, however. I hope to be introduced at dinner.”

“Well that answers the question as to where Cullen has gone,” Cass said with a smile. “But I’m sure he would be happy to speak with you about the subject at length later.”

“If you can get him to surrender baby lady long enough, he’ll talk all night,” Mahanon confirmed. “Speaking of whom, if she’s napping under her da’s watchful eye, where’s her mother?”

“Good question.” Cass peered around, shielding her eyes. “Oh, I think she’s over there with Harding.” She lifted her free hand to wave.

Evvy, upon realizing that her ‘other brother’ had arrived, immediately moved to join the group with Harding at her side. “Well, now it’s a party,” she joked, embracing Mahanon. “Oh, Michel, are these your friends from Orlais? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to miss the introductions.”

“No apology necessary,” he assured her warmly and reintroduced his three guests. “My friends, allow me to introduce Evangeline Rutherford and Lace Harding.”

“It’s great to finally meet you,” said Harding with a nod and a bright smile.

“Likewise.” Kenric coughed. “I’m looking forward - that is, I suppose we all are - to being better acquainted with Michel’s colleagues on this side of the Frostbacks.”

“We can all swap stories at dinner if you like,” she suggested, chuckling. “In the meantime, has anyone shown you around the castle yet? If not, I’d be happy to play tour guide.”

“An excellent suggestion,” said Michel. “Ms. Harding is far better acquainted with the layout of the school - and probably has better stories, or at least stories you won’t already have heard.” His friends nodded and followed her inside to start the tour.

“So has Fairbanks been introduced to Songbird yet?” Varric asked, once they were out of earshot.

“Not yet, I don’t think,” said Cassandra, looking in the direction the others had disappeared, smirking slightly. “But I’m sure they’ll talk at dinner. And I can’t help but noticed another one of the University professors seems eager to talk to a different Skyhold staff member.”

“I’m sure Cullen will be happy to indulge Professor Kenric on the subject of the ancient Avvar,” Evvy replied sweetly. Her expression indicated that she knew perfectly well what Cass really meant.

Cass simply chuckled. “Anyway, speaking of your husband chatting with people, where has Rylen gotten to in Cullen’s absence?”

“He’s apparently playing chess with Rosalie.” Evvy smirked a bit. “Branson thinks this is absolutely hilarious because Ro is not fond of the game - but when Rylen invited her to play, she was only too happy to agree.”

“Oh, really?” Cass’s eyes lit up. “That’s sweet. Although I wonder what Cullen will have to say about it when he finds out,” she added with a chuckle.

“Given that he’s almost as overprotective of his baby sister as he is of our daughter, I’m a little nervous,” Evvy admitted. “But he warmed up to Mia dating Michel fairly quickly, so I don’t think it’ll be too bad. He and Rylen are old friends, after all.”

“Yes, I suspect if it were anyone other than Rylen seeking Rosalie’s attention, said man would be in for a world of hurt. But I think he trusts Rylen enough to know he’ll be good to her. He might still give him a speech about treating her properly, though. I confess I can see that happening.”

“Oh, no doubt. But it’ll be good practice for when Skye’s old enough to date. Because despite what her father and all of her uncles say on the matter,” the child’s mother added, “she _will_ be allowed to date.”

“Allow me to speak for the group when I say, no, she won’t,” cut in a voice. It was Dorian, who was coming over to meet the group, his tone playful. “Unless her potential suitors are sufficiently noble, no one is permitted to date my little princess. And I would venture to say her father won't even allow that caveat.”

Evvy’s face bore an expression which suggested she knew she was in for many years of argument on the subject. “And if I’d given birth to a boy, my dear Fairy Godfather,” she said evenly, “would you be saying the same of your little prince?”

“I will freely admit I may be a tad more overprotective of a female Rutherford child, as she reminds me of my Cinderella and my duties as Fairy Godfather, but let’s face it - any suitors for a male Rutherford child would endure a rigorous vetting process as well. For instance, anyone who Cole brought home would face an absolute Inquisition, no doubt. Lucky for us all, he’s far more into his art and his poems.”

“Well, at least I can’t accuse you of being sexist,” she replied, now amused. “But be forewarned, I will be vetting your vetting process with regards to any and all of my children. Neither you nor Cullen will be allowed to be _too_ harsh on anyone.”

“I don’t know about Prince Charming, but I myself will try to take my cues from Miss Norbertson’s father, who approved of Krem on the basis that he was obviously making Rory very happy. If someone does that for either my niece or my nephew - if they look at someone the way Cullen looks at you - I shall relent. Deal?”

“Now that, Dori, is a compromise to which I can readily agree.”

“I knew you’d come around,” he said fondly, kissing her cheek. “So, how has everyone been enjoying themselves so far? Are there enough refreshments? Did everyone arrive who was set to arrive?”

“I think we’re still waiting on Daniel,” said Cassandra. “He was one of my favorite students, I hope he comes.”

“Ah, yes - our dear Headmistress arranged for most of our alumni to arrive together, but Daniel had some work obligations and so he said he would be arriving separately,” Dorian recalled. “I’m confident he’ll be here, though. By all accounts he’s very excited to come back.”

“Good.” She looked pleased. “He was my student teacher for a time, after he first graduated, but when he transferred to the University of Orlais that had to come to an end. He always did show great promise.”

“Who knows, maybe he’ll even end up teaching here someday,” said Dorian. “I often wonder about that - if some of our students will return to us as staff members in the future.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me. After all, they’re never exactly excited to leave,” Varric pointed out. “Heck, once Sonnet gets her degree, I might hand off the writing department and take early retirement.”

“I suspect she would probably enjoy that.” Dorian chuckled.

“And if Krem stays and continues coaching, a whole new generation of students could start ‘shipping’ their teachers,” Cassandra added playfully, grinning.

Everyone laughed. “Speaking of shipping the teachers,” said Mahanon, “where’s your better half, Varric?”

“Went for a nap at the same time Curly-cloud did. I expect to see her before too much longer.”

Sure enough, about ten minutes later, both Bethany and Cullen (holding Skye) reemerged, talking to each other as they went. Bethany smiled as they approached the group. “Hello, everyone! We didn’t miss anything did we?”

Before anyone could answer, however, there was a sort of yelping noise from up on the battlements, and everyone turned to see what in the world was happening. “Isn’t that Lace and the Orlesian visitors?” asked Evvy, peering.

“Looks like it,” remarked Cassandra. “What’s going on?”

“Why is Ms. Harding with the University of Orlais visitors in the first place?” Bethany inquired. “A tour or something?”

“Yes, she offered to show Michel’s friends around the castle before dinner,” Evvy explained. “I wonder if one of them almost took a fall? Those battlements can be a bit dizzying if you’re not used to them.”

“It almost looks like Professor Kenric had a scare,” Cass said, pointing. It appeared like Harding was helping prop him up, dusting him off as she did so. “Maybe it’s like you said, he might have tripped or something similar.”

“Let’s go find out,” said Varric. “Poor guy might need a stiff drink after something like that.”

Harding and the three university professors were on their way down from the battlements and ended up meeting the little group halfway. “Hello, everyone,” Cullen hailed them. “Everything all right?”

“Yes - that is - it’s fine,” said Kenric, looking a bit embarrassed. “I was a bit diverted by the view up there and sort of... took a wrong turn…”

“It happens to the best of us,” Harding assured him. “I remember the first time I went up on the battlements like that. They just take some getting used to - it’s like a Skyhold rite of passage.”

“Ms. Harding kept him from going over the edge,” said Fairbanks, who seemed to be trying and failing not to sound amused. “Quite the quick reflexes she has there.”

“Yes, it was so lucky she was there,” added Frederic, who was wearing a similar look.

“Oh, it was nothing,” Harding said with a wave of her hand. “I just offered a little help.”

“That’s what you always say,” Cassandra noted with a chuckle. “Every time the students show their appreciation to her, she tells them she just offered a little help.”

“Well, it’s true,” she replied, chuckling a bit herself. “But if my ‘little help’ means a lot to people, that’s more than I could ask for.”

“That’s our Harding,” said Dorian. “Always so modest.”

Kenric looked a little... dazzled, for lack of a better word. Then he coughed. “Well, you have my thanks, Lady Harding,” he muttered. “Ahem. Oh! Is this the little Rutherford, then? And her father? I’ve heard so much about both. Professor Rutherford, I was hoping we might discuss the history of the Frostbacks at your convenience, I have some theories about the former Avvar settlements.”

“It would be my pleasure, Professor Kenric,” said Cullen, shifting Skye so he could shake the other man’s hand. “And I believe I have a few books on the subject back in my office if you’re interested.” Cullen’s words gave Harding a chance to look a little pleased and flattered by Kenric’s title for her without _too_ many people noticing.

“Most assuredly. Perhaps after dinner?”

Varric, who had characteristically noticed everything about the whole exchange, nudged Bethany. “Well, this is an interesting development,” he murmured in amusement.

“It is indeed,” she whispered back as Cullen and Kenric chatted. “Surely we aren’t the only ones to notice that he called her ‘Lady Harding,’ are we? Or that she looks so pleased by it.” She giggled softly.

“Curly-cloud is being a distraction, so we just might be,” he noted, watching; Evvy had taken Skye from Cullen and was introducing her to Fairbanks and Frederic. “You missed the argument between Siren and Sparkler about her future dating prospects, by the way, remind me to fill you in later.”

“Ooh, yes, I definitely want to hear about that.” She giggled again. “Poor girl - if she does want a relationship when she grows up, she’s going to have an entire small army menacing her dates. Hmm... on second thought, maybe I should say ‘poor whomever tries to come along and court her.’”

“You’re not kidding. I think Siren’s going to be as much on the warpath about nobody interfering in her baby girl’s life as everybody else seems to be about not letting anyone get near her.” Varric chuckled.

“Oh, dear. It sounds like they might need some peacekeepers, at that rate.” Bethany laughed. “I guess that will be our job.”

“I think so. We don’t have a nug in this race, really - not to the extent that everyone else seems to do, anyway.”

“Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we’ll leave Cullen with the delusion that his little girl will be little forever, I think he’s earned that much.”

“What a thing it would be if we could stop any of them from growing up,” he mused. “Part of me wouldn’t mind that, but the rest of me is incredibly curious to find out who these kids are going to be.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” she said with a smile. “But I have no doubt that any Skyhold child is going to grow up to be an amazing person. With all this love and support surrounding them, how could they not?”

“That, Milady Sunshine, is the whole idea.”


	7. Hop To It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two of the Skyhold Academy reunion features the arrival of more guests - such as Evvy's brother Nat and the one and only Madam de Fer - along with a potato sack race, some plans, feuds (both friendly and otherwise), and Monty Python jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dearest readers! We hope you are enjoying the Skyhold Academy reunion, especially because there's going to be a lot more of it! Too many shenanigans, so little time. ;) We also hope you enjoy your continued cameos.
> 
> Additionally - there is some discussion here about the backstory of the Dragon Age: Origins characters, which has been left intentionally vague. Mostly because it miiiiiight be featured in an upcoming volume, but you didn't hear that from me. ;)

* * *

**Hop To It**

* * *

The first day of the reunion came to a close with an informal dinner. Tables were set up in the main hall and down in the courtyards so the teachers, guests, and students (current and former) could all mingle with one another as they liked. To the surprise of no one, Professors Rutherford and Kenric spent most of the evening discussing history at great length - although more than once Kenric’s attention drifted in Harding’s direction - while Rylen and Rosalie were barely out of each other’s sight. Soon after, the festivities came to a halt for the evening as those staying at the hotel in Redcliffe peeled off for the trip into town while those staying at the castle turned in, since most of them were still a bit tired from the journey to the school. The next day held the promise of more shenanigans, and no one wanted to be too exhausted for that.

The morning dawned with another informal meal, this time in the form of a buffet style breakfast prepared by Flissa, the head of the kitchen staff. Shortly after that, the castle saw its second, smaller wave of guests arrive, beginning with the arrival of the former language professor, Vivienne de Fer. She swept out of a long, sleek limousine and through the gatehouse like she had been gone mere seconds rather than nearly two years, taking the entire fortress in with one glance.

Dorian and Leliana were waiting for her at the top of the stairs. “Vivienne, thank you for coming,” said the headmistress.

“Of course, my dear,” Vivienne replied, kissing Leliana’s cheeks and then Dorian’s. “How have you been? It seems ages since we’ve spoken. I’ve heard quite a bit has changed in my absence, I’m eager to see it in person.”

“It’s been an interesting few years,” Leliana replied with a laugh. “You look marvelous, not that I expected anything else. I’m sure you’ve been keeping up with our major changes on the school’s Facebook page and the like.”

“Yes. I saw the students are now able to stay full-time - well done indeed. Not to mention the weddings. I must confess I was more than a little surprised to see those.”

“Not as surprised as we were at times,” Dorian remarked, chuckling.

“We were so disappointed that you weren’t able to come back for Varric’s, ah, masterful surprise.” Leliana giggled. “But I hope you enjoyed the DVD.”

“Darling, I lack the words,” she said, likewise chuckling. “Cassandra must have felt like she stumbled into a fairy tale.”

“That’s a good description of what we were trying to accomplish,” said a new voice, and they turned to find that Varric himself had joined them. “Welcome back, Iron Lady, it’s good to see you. You look well.”

“My dear Professor Tethras, excellent timing as usual,” she greeted him. “You seem more cheerful than I’ve seen in years - domestic bliss suits you.”

He smiled, irreverently as usual, but with a touch of something sweet to it. “I can’t argue. Though it does require me to be on my best behavior more often than not.”

“It does?” asked Dorian. Varric ignored him.

Leliana merely laughed and shook her head. “Come, let’s go inside - we can introduce you to the members of the family you don’t yet know. Some of your former University of Orlais colleagues are here as well.”

“Oh, marvelous. It seems an age since I had the pleasure of speaking with some of them. Though there are others whom I most assuredly do not miss,” Vivienne added dryly.

“Yes, I suspect I know who you mean,” said the Headmistress. “If we are thinking of the same person, they’re not here yet. And who knows, perhaps after all this time things will have improved.”

“Your optimism is a delight as always, my dear. So she is expected, then?”

“Unfortunately yes. Or, rather, we had an RSVP.” Leliana coughed. “The First Lady is a friend of hers, otherwise I suspect she wouldn’t come.”

“Oh, I forgot about that. I suppose even the leaders of Ferelden must be pardoned for one or two eccentricities,” Vivienne mused. “Well, no matter. Do show me what you’ve changed since I left, darling.”

“Yes. Let’s see if we can find the Rutherfords first. Cullen is always eager to show his family off, particularly little Skye,” Leliana said, gesturing for them all to follow her back inside.

“I understand that you’re possibly looking into expanding the school?” Vivienne asked, trailing after her. “Bringing in younger children?”

“Yes, we’re considering our options,” said Leliana as they entered. “At the very least, we often joke we may need to start some sort of early child care lesson, as our Skyhold family keeps growing.” She chuckled. “But our hope is that eventually we can bring even more children here. We’ve seen the wonders it has done over the years.”

“It makes perfect sense. Ah, I see our dear Professor Rutherford has made friends with Professor Kenric - I am entirely unsurprised.” Vivienne looked amused as she saw the two history buffs still chattering animatedly, in between Cullen’s efforts to feed his daughter some applesauce.

“They’ve been chatting non-stop since yesterday at dinner,” Dorian noted. “The only time they seem to come up for air is when Cullen needs to take the little princess up for a nap. Or when the good Professor Kenric sneaks the occasional glance at Harding.” He smirked faintly.

“I see you’ve lost none of your taste for gossip, darling. You must fill me in on all the details before I leave; you always were the best source.” Vivienne chuckled briefly.

“And I still am,” he said. “Come up to the library when today’s shenanigans are done - I have two years’ worth of stories and a bottle of very good wine.”

“Fairy Godfather, what are you plotting?” Evvy had arrived on the scene just in time to hear his last comment. “Oh, Madam de Fer, how good to see you again.”

“And you as well, Miss Trevelyan. Or should I say Mrs. Rutherford. I was very pleased to see the continued good news about you and Cullen on the school’s social media - at last someone lured the good history professor out of his office and into the sun.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t easy,” Evvy added with a chuckle, “and I did have some help. But it was worth the effort, in the end.”

“It would most certainly seem like it,” Vivienne agreed, glancing back in Cullen and Skye’s direction.

“I was just promising our dear Madam de Fer all the juicy gossip she missed in her absence,” Dorian explained. “After all, simply reading the news that gets posted on the social media accounts is hardly sufficient.”

“Oh, I see. Planning to gossip without me - I see how easily I’m replaced.” Evvy’s solemn expression was only slightly undermined by the twinkle in her eyes, and Varric snickered.

“Replace _you_? Perish the thought, Cinderella,” Dorian assured her, his lips quirking with mirth as he patted Evvy’s hands. “In fact, if you aren’t too busy with Skyhold’s favorite little princess, join us if you’ve a mind. After all, you have video and photographic evidence of things to which even I cannot do justice with mere words.”

“I’m mildly alarmed at the prospect of what you want to share with Madam Vivienne,” she replied, amused, “but yes, if the children can make do without me for a little while, I’ll certainly join you.”

“Excellent. But all in due time, of course - there is quite a bit of enjoyable nonsense we have planned for the day, after all.”

“Yes, that’s actually why I’m here,” Evvy said. “I’m supposed to get a list of who wants to participate in the potato sack race so we know how many sacks we need. No, I’m not joking.”

“Oh, I had almost forgotten about that.” Leliana chuckled. “I suspect quite a few of our students and alumni are going to want to be a part of that. I hope we have enough sacks.”

“I will very magnanimously volunteer not to participate, thereby freeing up at least one sack,” said Varric dryly.

“You are truly a paragon of virtue,” Dorian replied in a similar tone. “In fact, your actions are so inspiring, I do believe I will follow suit. Not that anyone will be surprised by that, mind you. After all, the only way I would ever be caught dead in a sack is if I’ve been kidnapped and held for ransom.”

“Oh, look, it’s one of those moments where I truly see the resemblance between my brothers,” Evvy deadpanned.

“Brothers?” Vivienne repeated, arching a brow. “I realize I’ve missed a lot in these last few years, my dear, but that one eludes me entirely.”

“Ah, yes. Bit of an inside joke, that. It’s become accepted Skyhold fact that Evvy is the sister I never had and Varric has become the brother I never wanted.” Dorian chuckled. “So as you can see, I’ve been adopted twice over.”

“And if Siren and I are both his siblings, then we decided that makes us siblings to each other,” Varric added. “It makes about as much sense as anything else in my life, when you get down to it.”

“I can relate,” the music teacher said. “We often say we need a flowchart to properly show all of our self-proclaimed kinships, but it’s actually not too far from the truth.”

“What’s that phrase I’ve seen on the Facebook? ‘One big happy Skyhold family’?” Vivienne mused. “I didn’t realize how literal you were being.”

“Yes, it’s actually quite literal.” Leliana smiled. “And while I don’t pretend to put words into the mouths of our dear founders, I suspect this was exactly what they were hoping for when they first started Skyhold Academy.”

“Well, they do think of the students as their children, so it wouldn’t surprise me,” Evvy noted. She paused, and then chuckled. “Although they very generously let me have _mine_.”

“Unless Alistair recruits Cole for politics,” Leliana said, likewise chuckling. “Don’t worry, I’m sure your husband wouldn’t let that happen unless Cole was absolutely sold on that as his path. We all know how protective he is of his boy.”

“True. But if he has to go into politics, Alistair’s not a bad choice for mentor,” Evvy remarked. “Well, if none of you are in dire need of potato sacks, I’ll continue my quest. See you all later.”

“Good luck, Cinderella. And do give our best to Prince Charming when you see him,” said Dorian.

“Heading in that direction now.” Smiling, she crossed the hall to where her husband was still absorbed in his conversation.

“Bull likes to say that they’re ‘so cute it’s stupid,’” Varric remarked to Vivienne. “Still true even after all this time.”

“Well, it’s certainly an apt description,” she replied, watching as Cullen paused long enough to greet Evvy. “In all my time at Skyhold, I don’t think I ever saw Professor Rutherford smile quite that much. His face may split apart if he smiles much wider.”

“We try to keep an eye on that,” Leliana noted with a laugh. Cullen was, apparently at his wife’s behest, reluctantly surrendering his daughter. “He and that little girl are almost inseparable, too, which contributes to the smiling.”

“A little one at Skyhold,” Vivienne remarked. “I never thought I would see such a thing.”

“I didn’t either, if I’m being honest,” said Dorian. “But now I can’t imagine life without her. And she’s not even mine.”

Varric snickered. “Dodo.”

Dorian groaned comically. “Do you have something to say, Ick?”

“Do I want to know?” asked Vivienne.

Leliana translated. “Little Skye calls these two ‘Dodo’ and ‘Ick.’ She’s still getting the hang of all of our names. Hawke found this so entertaining that she actually made them the heroes of a… well, it’s sort of a fairy tale but not exactly. More like several fairy tales blurred into one nonsensical story.”

“And of course, the entire Skyhold family and some of our friends were cast in these fairy tales,” Dorian added. “Hawke apparently had the whole idea, enlisted the Poetry Club to help her write it, then did all the illustrations. It was given out at Wintersend and promptly read aloud. Ridiculous storytelling in the staff room has become a bit of a staple over the past few years.”

“We’ll make sure you get a copy before you leave,” said Varric. “I won’t claim it makes a great deal of sense, because not much around here does, but it’s good for a few laughs.”

“I will look forward to it,” said Madam de Fer, looking amused.

* * *

Having successfully claimed her daughter, Evvy next went in search of her brother - the biological one of the four currently under Skyhold’s roof. “There you are,” she said, spotting him talking with Blackwall and Josephine. “Uncle Nat’s been hiding from us, Skye.”

“Did I hide or get lost in the crowd?” Nathaniel joked. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you - it’s been quite the experience so far.” He stooped to kiss his sister’s cheek, then the top of his niece’s head. “Maker, look how big she’s getting!”

“I know, she’s growing like a little weed.” Evvy laughed. “I’m glad you could make it, there’s been a lot of contention about which one is her favorite uncle and we needed some Ostwick representation.”

“Quite right,” he said with a note of teasing bravado. “Speaking as your favorite brother, I of course need to be here to win my rightful title as favorite uncle. Isn’t that right, little Skye?”

The child giggled and uttered a string of nonsense. “Honestly,” Evvy continued, “I swear we’re going to have to have an ‘uncle-off’ or something just so the argument is put to rest. Between you, Mahanon, Dorian, and Cullen’s brother Branson, I’m not sure who’s been the most insistent about it. Only Varric doesn’t get involved, he says he’s the whiskey uncle and that’s good enough for him.”

“Ick!” Skye crowed.

Nat chuckled. “An uncle-off... now there’s an idea.”

“And what a battle royale it will be, too,” Josephine offered with a laugh.

“You boys figure out among yourselves what the terms will be. I’m sure everyone will enjoy it.” Evvy giggled like her daughter. “Speaking of competitions, Josie, Gordon - some of the students were talking about some kind of quiz show. They want to see which of the teachers is the smartest, or something. Can that be pulled together on such short notice?”

“A quiz show?” Josie repeated. “I don’t see why not. We could come up with a pool of general knowledge questions and divide into teams. Maybe some of us versus some of the alumni - maybe our guests can be a team too. Oh! And I know of someone in Redcliffe who owes me a favor. If he’s free, he might be willing to come up and play host.”

“Is there anybody in Thedas who doesn’t owe you a favor?” Blackwall teased her.

“I’m sure there’s someone who doesn’t. But there _are_ quite a few, I’ll grant you,” she replied, laughing. “It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you send people cakes or promise them tickets to the opera.”

“This is why Skyhold would fall down if we ever lost our ‘ambassador,’ you know,” he returned fondly. “You’ve got the world at your feet, myself included.”

Josephine’s reply to that was an extremely dreamy sigh. “You always do know how to make me smile,” she managed, kissing his cheek.

“Well, on _that_ note,” said Evvy with a grin, “I’m almost done with the headcount for the sack race. Unless I get some additional enthusiastic volunteers, twenty sacks should be enough.”

“Oh, yes, the race! Of course.” Josie looked like she had just now come back to reality. “Thank you so much for getting that count for me. Twenty should be no problem, we’ll have a few sacks to spare, I think. I thought maybe Bull can be the officiator, since sports are his wheelhouse, of course.”

“Ordinarily he’d probably have to arm wrestle Cassandra for that, but she’s a bit diverted by the presence of her husband,” Evvy replied, causing Nathaniel to laugh heartily. “So I think we can safely assign the task to Bull without complaint.”

Josephine chuckled. “Good, I’ll ask him when I next come across him.”

“And speaking of Non and his wife, where are they, I wonder?” said Nat. “I should go talk to him at some point about this legendary Battle of the Uncles.”

“I’d try the dining hall first, knowing his appetite. If they’re not there, follow the sounds of mischief.”

“Yes, always a surefire way to find Non.” He laughed. “But before I do that, I think I’ve earned some time with my niece and nephew, if he’s around.”

“The niece I can provide. The nephew may be more difficult to locate,” observed his sister. “He’s usually with his friends, if not with Cullen - and I just left Cullen, so I know he’s not there.”

“Well, whenever I find him, I come bearing gifts that I didn’t get a chance to deliver yesterday. In the meantime, I think it’s time to start teaching little Skye to say my name too.”

“Good point!” Evvy surrendered the little girl. “Why don’t you work on that, and I’ll see if I can track down my son.”

“Marvelous,” he said, accepting the precious bundle. “While you’re gone, I’ll start swaying little miss Skye to my side in this contest,” he added with a chuckle.

“Good luck with that. Uncle Dodo has the distinct advantage of frequent contact.” Evvy laughed.

As if to prove that, Skye remarked “Dodo,” almost conversationally. Nat just snickered. “Well, everyone loves an underdog,” he said playfully, tickling Skye under the chin.

“I believe Dodo and Ick were telling Madam Vivienne about their book,” Evvy added to the others. “Maybe we can persuade them to stage a dramatic reading after supper or something.”

“Now that would be a treat.” Josephine laughed. “Their reading in the staff room was hilarious - I’m sure our alumni would appreciate hearing it too.”

* * *

‘Dodo and Ick’ were not opposed to the performance. “I can’t very well say no when I have this many admirers on hand, can I?” Varric asked dryly.

“Nope. Especially not when it’s _my_ story,” Hawke replied.

It was a good thing that everyone had something so funny to which they could look forward, because the afternoon soon devolved into something decidedly unpleasant. Morrigan made her entrance to the school, and it quickly became apparent just how much she and Vivienne loathed one another. Leliana was not entirely comfortable either, and Alistair almost immediately found an excuse to be somewhere else.

Elissa, however, shook her head and went to greet her friend. “It’s been too long, Morrigan,” she said. “You look as though Orlais agrees with you.”

“I’ve no complaints,” said the chemistry professor, inclining her head. She then paused to look around. “So this is Skyhold. Most impressive.”

“We’re fond of it,” said the ‘founding mother’ warmly. “Come, I’ll show you around the castle.”

Morrigan smirked in a way that seemed to suggest she was aware neither Headmistress nor President were around to give said tour - and that she was more than all right with that fact. “Lead on, Madam First Lady. You are correct - it has been too long.”

Once the two women had exited the scene, the tension eased in largest part. Varric did a double take at the look on Vivienne’s face; she was normally calm and collected, so to see her even slightly otherwise was almost alarming. “You okay, Iron Lady?”

Vivienne’s lips folded inward a bit as she schooled her expression masterfully once again. “Just fine, my dear,” she said in a measured tone. “After all, if Ferelden’s esteemed First Lady wishes the friendship of an ill-bred, second rate embarrassment to academia, she is welcome to it, just as the University of Orlais was welcome to it. She concerns me not at all.”

“Ah, the Queen Mother and Morrigan go way back, same as with Songbird.” Varric shrugged. “Sometimes friendship defies explanation.”

“Indeed. But as I said, the matter is hardly worth mentioning. Don’t concern yourself, dear.”

“Well then, stupid question time - are you going to participate in the sack race?” He grinned impudently.

“Are you, darling?” she returned, one eyebrow quirking slightly in amusement.

“The sacks are too big, they would actually cover my head. No, seriously, I’m going to try to stay out of the way, it’s just better. What if I injured my hands or something? I wouldn’t be able to type!”

“A tragedy to be sure, my dear. Half of the Orlesian Imperial Court eagerly awaits your next volume, after all.”

He chuckled. “How did you like the last one, with the surprise wedding and whatnot?”

“It was a charming little twist. One I assume inspired dear Cassandra’s nuptials?”

“Kind of. I wrote it so I could get her reaction to such an idea - once I knew she thought it was romantic, we went ahead with the plan.” He grinned. “But only after I got Bethany’s okay first.”

“Smart man,” said Vivienne with a tiny laugh. Then, her expression turned a bit more serious. “And how is your wife faring, dear? I heard about her illness and recovery.”

“She’s doing pretty well, all things considered,” he replied. “She still has her bad days sometimes - this’ll be with her for the rest of her life. But we do the best we can to make sure she has what she needs.”

“I am glad to hear it,” she said. “If I can ever help in any way, do please let me know. My doors are always open to the pair of you if you ever desire a getaway – a week at my darling Bastien’s estate could be a wonderful restorative.”

“Gracious as ever, Iron Lady. I appreciate it,” he said warmly. “We may just take you up on that sometime. Meanwhile, should we go see this sack racing monstrosity with our own eyes?”

“Most definitely. If I don’t see it with my own eyes, I suspect I’ll have trouble believing it.” She chuckled.

He pulled out his phone as they walked and sent Bethany a text. _Time for the potato sack race, Milady Sunshine. How are you feeling? Up for some innocent bystanding?_

 _Are you kidding?_ she replied a minute later. _I wouldn’t miss it for the world! I just finished a nap, I’ll meet you down there after I tame my hair._

 _That’s my girl. See you in a bit._ “Mrs. Tethras will be joining us shortly,” he reported, putting away the phone. “She was having a nap.”

“Good, I look forward to saying hello,” said Vivienne. “If I recall, the girl had an excellent head for fashion - always a pleasure to speak to someone with good taste.”

“In everything but men,” he said with a laugh.

“I will let history be the judge of that, my dear,” she said, her tone lightly teasing. “Although for what it's worth, I think the judgement will be favorable.”

“I do too, but I have to at least try to be modest once in a while.” Smirking, he led the way out to the lower bailey, where everyone was getting ready for the race. “Looks like a decent showing, they have more participants than I expected.”

“It looks like most of the alumni are joining in,” Vivienne remarked, gesturing to where they were all assembling, chortling and taking pictures as they did so. Bull was nearby to call start and she lifted her hand to wave.

He immediately waved back. “Hey there, Vi-uh. Ma’am! Good to see you, ma’am!” he called. Varric snickered quietly.

“And you as well, my dear,” she called back, taking a seat. “It’s been too long. We shall have to speak more after this race, which I’ll admit I’m very curious to see.”

“Right! Should probably start that.” He lifted his hands to signal for the racers to be ready. “On your marks, everyone. Get set… go!”

The air was instantly filled with screaming and cheering and raucous laughter as the racers attempted not to fall or knock each other over while bouncing toward the finish line. A few of those on the sidelines scurried to get out of the path of some competitors’ trajectories, while others went to assist those who couldn’t remain upright.

While all of this was going on, Bethany slid into the seat on Varric’s other side. “Hello, you,” she said, wearing a sunny smile. “This is too fun. I wish I could participate in something like this.”

“There you are.” Her husband gave her an incredulous smile. “You would want to jump around in a potato sack?”

“Why not? They all seem to be enjoying themselves, after all.” She chuckled, nodding in the direction of the racers. There seemed to be a friendly feud going on between Barris and Daniel, who were jockeying for the lead. Kris, Morgen, Anna, and Ember were right on their heels.

“Eh, it doesn’t seem like all that much fun to me, but to each their own. I’d rather have a motorcycle race or something - which I’d automatically win since no one else here has a motorcycle,” he added.

“Well, yes. But I do like the mental image,” she said playfully, kissing his cheek.

“ _You_ could probably talk me into it,” he acknowledged. “So please don’t try.”

She gave a teasingly overdramatic sigh. “Very well, I’ll be merciful,” she replied, before glancing back to the racers. “Oh, my, this is much closer than I expected it to be!”

“I can’t even root for anybody because I don’t want to play favorites.” Varric laughed. “Glad I don’t have any money riding on it.”

“We should have enlisted someone to do commentary,” Bethany added, likewise laughing. “A dramatic play-by-play of what’s happening out of the field, so to speak.”

“Next time,” he promised. “We’ll have enough drama tonight - Ruffles conned us into a performance reading of _The Adventures of Dodo and Ick._ ”

“Oh, Maker, did she really?” Bethany grinned. “That is going to be spectacular. I hope there are voices and dramatic gestures and the whole lot.”

“But of course. Maybe we can all read our respective parts,” Varric suggested.

“I love it.” She chuckled. “I can’t wait. Oh! Oh, look! They’re almost at the finish line!”

“And it’s… Daniel, by a nose!”

Sure enough, Daniel managed to cross the finish line before promptly toppling over. Once he had managed to untangle himself from his own potato sack, Barris made his way over to help Daniel to his feet, clapping him on the back while they both laughed.

“Well, the General will be pleased,” Varric noted. “I will say that President Kingy has my respect for trying, though,” he added, watching as Elissa helped her toppled husband get back to his feet.

“I think it’s so cute that they’re putting their titles aside for the weekend and just having fun,” Bethany remarked. “And it seems to mean a lot to the alumni that the President of Ferelden was right there racing with them.”

Sure enough, a large majority of the alumni were vaguely delighted he was there. In fact, a group of them – notably Nora, Ally, Rachel, Amyllia, Mel, and Alex – seemed to be getting a selfie with him.

“Kingy’s a good guy. He and the Queen Mother have been through a lot - together and separately,” Varric said. “They probably needed this break.”

“I imagine they did,” said Bethany. “It can’t be easy having that much pressure on you all the time. I’m glad to see them just enjoying themselves. And Leliana always looks so pleased when they get to visit the school.”

“Songbird told me a little about it once, how she knew them back when they were just baby television employees with stupid crushes on each other,” Varric said with a laugh. “It was rough because she was technically his boss, and her dad had been killed not long before, and then her brother’s family had a tragedy on top of that. Hell of a mess, she said. And then _his_ brother was killed and suddenly he was king and it was just all kinds of crazy. But they got each other through it.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard this story in full,” said Bethany. “Someday I’ll have to get all of it.”

“I’ve only heard the basics of it myself. But it ties into why they’re so close to Leliana and that Zevran guy. Also why the First Lady is friends with the chemistry teacher who showed up earlier today, she was part of it. From what I hear, she never gave a rat’s ass about much of anything else, but she was always oddly loyal to the Queen Mother for some reason.”

“Perhaps one day soon we can convince Leliana to tell the story. She loves telling stories almost as much as you do, after all.”

“If you ask her once all this is over, I’m sure she’d tell you. Right now she’s actually relaxing.” Varric nodded to where Leliana and Elissa were laughing together; Alistair was talking with Zevran, and even Morrigan, who stood not too far away, looked fairly neutral.

“Now that’s a perfect little scene, isn’t it?” Bethany smiled. “I hope Felix and the photography club are taking pictures of all of this. Well, I mean, of course they are. This _is_ Skyhold.”

“I love years where the school’s biggest problem is limiting the number of pages in the yearbook,” Varric agreed.

“It’s an excellent problem to have. You can never have too many good memories.”

“And hopefully, someday the kids will turn around and establish the Skyhold Retirement Home and take care of us in our old age.”

Bethany burst out laughing. “We would certainly never be bored in our twilight years if that were the case,” she said, grinning. “I wonder if there would still be as much singing.”

“Curly will have grandchildren by then, and I’m pretty sure they’ll sing for us if no one else does.” Varric chuckled.

“I can live with that. That is, if Cullen lets his children out of his sight long enough for them to even go on a date, let alone have children themselves. But we already had that conversation yesterday,” she noted, amused.

“Siren will take care of it,” he assured her. “Meanwhile, I believe the march to the dining hall is underway, so let’s go get something to eat.”

“Sounds perfect.”

* * *

“All right, Jimmy, fess up. What did you do?”

The Partners in Crime were taking their seats in the dining hall when Nessa asked the question. Jim had spent the better part of the day looking inordinately pleased with himself and it had not gone unnoticed. His two best friends regarded him with playful suspicion.

“Oh, I suppose I can tell you. Ms. Montilyet probably thinks I will anyway,” he replied with a smug grin. “There’s going to be a trivia contest tomorrow! Teams of alumni, Skyhold teachers, and University professors competing against each other!” His eyes took on a gleam.

“Ooh, that sounds fun!” said Rory. “Everyone’s going to love that.”

“For sure,” said Nessa. “But why does that make you look like the cat who swallowed the canary, Jim?”

“I’ve been helping to write the questions for the contest! Ms. Montilyet got that DJ from Redcliffe to agree to come and be the host, you know the one – Trifles something or other? So she’s had me and a couple other students drafting questions.” With a joy that was almost terrifying, he added, “I declare the Quizquisition born!”

Rory’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “The _Quiz_ quisition?”

“Maker, Jim, you _didn’t_ ,” said Nessa, slapping a hand to her forehead with a long-suffering groan.

“It’s your own fault, Ness! You wouldn’t let me call the chess club the Inquisition, _let me have this!”_

“You have your username,” Nessa protested. “Isn’t that enough? What is your obsession with that word anyway?”

Rory, meanwhile, was laughing hysterically behind her hand.

“What is my… Nessa, haven’t you ever seen _Monty Python_?” Jim looked scandalized.

“Are you telling me this whole thing - this thing that’s been going on for _years_ \- is all about that scene?” She adopted a similar look. “That Nevarran Inquisition scene or whatever?”

“ _No one expects the Nevarran Inquisition._ ”

“Andraste’s grace,” Nessa said, groaning again.

“You guys, I’m going to cry,” said Rory, who was still laughing so hard she had gone red.

“Ness, I’m Nevarran. On my mom’s side. It’s one of the only things I know about my family,” said Jim plaintively. “So the Inquisition really speaks to me.”

Nessa folded her arms. “Really? And what part speaks to you in particular? The soft pillows? Or the comfy chair bit, maybe. Is that like a really important part of Nevarran culture?”

“It’s more the robes for me, actually,” he replied with a perfectly straight face. “It means so much to know that my fashion sense is apparently hereditary.”

“You two are the most ridiculous people ever,” said Rory, dabbing at her eyes as she giggled. “And I love you.”

“We live to serve,” said Jim. “Anyway, to be serious again, this is really a thing and it’s really called the Quizquisition.”

“Well, I’m excited for it, in spite of the silly name.” Rory giggled again. “I wonder which of our teachers are going to participate.”

“Professors Rutherford and Pavus are confirmed, and I think Professor Tethras is probably going to join up too,” he said. “I’m not sure who else.”

“Oh now that’s a fun trio,” said Rory. “It’s like our three mentor-like figures all being awesome together, I’m so here for it. So are you allowed to give us an advanced preview of these ‘Quizquisition’ questions? Wow, that was hard to say.”

“Don’t encourage him.” Nessa laughed.

“Well, I can’t give you previews, but I can give you an idea of what to expect,” said Jim. “There’s going to be six categories, sort of like playing Trivial Pursuit. We have history, literature, pop culture, science, the arts, and general knowledge. Twenty questions in each category, and the team that gets the most right answers wins. There’s a special question being reserved in the event of a tie.”

“Is there going to be a prize or just bragging rights? I would think it would be hard for them to find a prize on such short notice, but then again Ms. Montilyet can do anything,” mused Rory.

“She sure can. I honestly don’t know about prizes, but I’m sure she’ll come up with something fun.” Jim grinned. “Meanwhile, I happened to overhear something about this evening’s entertainment. Rors, you were part of the Poetry Club group that helped Ms. Hawke with her Wintersend gift, right?”

“You bet I was.” She returned his grin. “Of course there was no way on the Maker’s earth I was missing that.”

“Two words,” he said. “After dinner? _Dramatic reading._ ”

“You’re kidding me.” Rory slapped her hands to her cheeks. “How do you know that?! Usually _I’m_ the one with the inside source on teacher shenanigans!”

“Usually you are! I just lucked out, I was returning one of Professor Rutherford’s history books that I used to make questions and I heard him talking about it with Mrs. Rutherford.”

“So… wow. Okay. Dramatic reading as in… in front of the school, do you think?”

“That’s what it sounded like. Mrs. Rutherford said something about Professor Tethras wanting them all to read their respective parts.” He laughed. “The President and First Lady will probably get a real kick out of this, don’t you think?”

“Oh, yeah, the President and First Lady will be hearing it too, that’s right. Wow.”

“You seem super chill about this, Rors. Doesn’t public reading of your stuff usually make you kind of nervous?”

“Usually. I’m sort of starting to get used to it though. It probably says something about our school that I am, but whatever.” She chuckled.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, it doesn’t have your explicit byline on it,” Jim offered. “Ms. Hawke takes most of the credit, or blame, whichever.”

“Yeah, in our defense, it was _completely_ her idea. We just made it sing.” She laughed again. “Best way to earn extra credit points _ever_.”

“By all accounts, Professors Pavus and Tethras absolutely hated that story,” Nessa remarked. “And by hated I mean loved.”

“Yup, Ms. Hawke suspected they would,” Rory replied, smiling broadly. “I’m happy I got to play a part in it. To the surprise of literally no one, I ended up writing a lot of the lines for Professor Pavus… or rather, the lines for Dodo, I mean.”

“I can believe it,” said Jim. “Well, I really hope they actually do it, because I think everybody’s going to crack up laughing. When they’re not being slain by feels, of course.”

“You can’t have one without the other, my friend,” said Rory. “You can’t have one without the other.”

“I know it all too well. My AO3 account is proof of that.”

“If we weren’t approaching graduation, I would say you should join Poetry Club, Jimmy,” she said. “Although a large, preemptive ‘no’ on renaming it the ‘Poemquisition’ or something.”

“Fair enough, bestie.”


	8. The Adventures of Dodo and Ick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you wondering about the substance of the story that the teachers will be reading aloud? Wonder no more! What follows is the entirety of "The Adventures of Dodo and Ick", Hawke's brainchild, penned by the Skyhold Academy student writers. It's a mash-up of fairy tales featuring the eponymous Dodo and Ick, two storytellers who go off in search of more stories and get more excitement than they bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey gang! So I wasn't lying about this being a mash-up of fairy tales. What you're about to read is basically what happens if you take a bunch of fairy tales - everything from The Princess and the Frog to the Little Mermaid to Jack and the Beanstalk to the Pied Piper - add the Skyhold Academy cast, add a healthy dose of the plot of Dragon Age, and blend it all together. It's silly and weird and admittedly written like a children's book but using SAT words. But hopefully it's enough to make you all chuckle.
> 
> Also, it's VERY LONG. I chose not to break it into two chapters because I was afraid of interrupting the flow, but please feel free to take a break as you read this so you don't strain your eyes or something - safety first! ;) Furthermore, I know it isn't very poetic for something that was supposed to be written by the Poetry Club, but hopefully that doesn't take away from the enjoyment. If you love it, thank the Skyhold Academy Poetry Club; if not, blame Hawke. ;)
> 
> LN adds: AB wrote this as a surprise for me. I had very little to do with it. Am I a lucky co-author or what? I love this so much.

* * *

**The Adventures of Dodo and Ick**

* * *

  

**_Prologue – Once Upon a Time_ **

Once upon a time in Thedas there lived two unlikely friends who went by the names of Dodo and Ick.

Dodo and Ick were as different as it was possible to be. Dodo was a shiny magical fellow who, like a bird with exquisite feathers, could often be found preening and had a lovely singing voice. Ick, by comparison, was short and stocky and stony – or so he liked to have people believe.

But as different as Dodo and Ick were from each other, they were also very similar. Where Dodo came from, for instance, his golden nest offered every comfort and privilege he could ever want. But the nest was more like a cage and Dodo longed for more. Ick likewise could have had anything he wanted – wealth, power, titles, the lot of it. But what Ick truly wanted was to tell stories. And since stories were one of Dodo’s favorite things in the world, it only made sense that fate would eventually cause the two of them to meet.

One fateful spring day, Dodo decided to flee his gilded cage, saying goodbye to his beloved Northern homeland and following the cold breezes in a more Southerly direction. As he travelled, he came across a tavern by the road and decided to stop to rest and have a drink. As luck would have it, this tavern was the very same one where Ick lived and as usual, Ick was regaling the patrons of the establishment with a witty tale of his own making.

“Excuse me, my good Ser,” said Dodo when Ick had finished his tale. “I couldn’t help but overhear your story just now. Are you a storyteller?”

“Guilty as charged. Name’s Ick. How do you do?”

“I am called Dodo. A pleasure.” The Northerner executed a charming bow. “I’ve just recently left my homeland and I’m in need of a place to stay… and new stories.”

“You’re in luck, my sparkly friend. You can find both here,” Ick reported. “The rooms you get from the barman, but the stories you can get from me.”

Dodo pondered this. He studied the tavern (which was abysmal in standards) with a wary eye. Eventually, however, he agreed.

Over the next few weeks, Dodo and Ick exchanged stories and their banter became something of a legend in the tavern, with people stopping by on a nightly basis to see them snark at one another. But soon, Dodo decided he needed to move on.

“Don’t you ever feel like there’s something out there, Ick?” he said to his new friend as they sat at the bar with a pint one night. “Something bigger and more important?”

“More important than good ale and good stories?” Ick teased. “No way.”

Dodo chuckled. “No, no, something _with_ good stories. Something that allows us to make our _own_ stories.”

“Huh. It’s funny you should say that – I’ve been sort of wondering something similar myself,” Ick admitted. “I’m always telling other people’s stories, but perhaps it’s time to make some of my own.”

And so, after much discussion, Dodo and Ick decided it was time for them to move on from their comfortable existence in the tavern and find some adventures. With their belongings packed, they set out at first light, travelling to the docks to find a ship that would take them across the sea to new lands.

“Where exactly are we going?” asked Ick as they walked. “And what exactly do you suppose we’ll find?”

“I have no idea, my friend,” said Dodo with a smile. “But I suspect we’ll find out soon enough. And that is the most exciting part.”

* * *

**_Part One – Sun, Rain, and Rainbow_ **

Within short order, Dodo and Ick had hopped a ship bound for faraway lands and after an uneventful crossing, they arrived in a country called Ferelden, which was not like anything they were expecting. Dodo thought he had never seen so many shades of brown in his life and found the whole place very dreary. Ick, by comparison, was missing home a little more than he had anticipated. But the pair was nevertheless anxious to press on and see what they could find in this strange new place.

They didn’t have long to wait for adventures, however, because as they arrived in a village called Haven, they soon found themselves in the middle of a great caravan of many people.

“I wonder what this is all about?” Ick mused, looking around. He stopped a little dark-haired girl and her friends who were bustling past. “Excuse me, any idea what’s going on?”

“Oh, yes!” said the excited girl, letting out a shriek of delight. “The Princess of Skyhold is due to give birth to her child soon. Noble men and women from across the lands are coming to present the royal couple with gifts, but we’re all hoping we can see the little one too, for the royal couple is so kind and generous, and the Prince loves to talk about his family.” She stopped, looking around at her waiting friends. “Sorry, I have to go get ready!”

As the girl and her friends hurried off, Dodo and Ick exchanged a glance. “Never a dull moment,” said Ick. “Maybe we should go find this ‘Skyhold’ for ourselves.”

“We’ve hardly been in this country for five minutes,” Dodo protested. “We don’t even know this royal couple. And besides, we have nowhere to stay and little more than the clothes on our backs.”

“We came looking for adventure,” Ick reminded him. “I would say this constitutes an adventure for sure. Besides, all those people in one place – there’s bound to be some interesting stories there.”

Dodo considered this. “Well, yes. And perhaps we can find a place to stay while we’re there, provided we can get there before the others.”

With this in mind, the pair decided not to join the slow-moving caravans and instead made their way to Skyhold on their own. It was quite a walk from Haven to Skyhold (during which Dodo complained about how cold it was), but eventually they made their way to an impressive castle nestled in the mountains.

As they made their way across the bridge into the courtyard, it was apparent quite a few people had arrived already. The sunny space was packed with guards and merchants and nobles in bright garments talking to one another as servants buzzed around like overexcited bees.

“We’ll never find a proper place to stay at this rate,” said Dodo with a sigh of exasperation. “Might as well find something to eat and make camp.”

So Dodo and Ick made their way over to one of the merchants to purchase a small meal of bread, apples, cheese, and milk. They were just about to sit down to enjoy their meal when the mewling of a hungry kitten interrupted them. Without hesitation, Ick opened the milk, poured a little in the cap of the bottle, and let the kitten start to lap it up.

“That was very kind,” said a soft voice, causing both men to look over. A boy with sandy hair and large blue eyes was watching them. “I saw you help… like I do. It’s good.” He studied them for a moment longer, as if puzzling out who they were. “Are you here to see my parents too? So many people are here waiting for my brother or sister to arrive.”

“Uh… maybe, kid,” said Ick. “Are your parents the Prince and Princess?”

The boy nodded. “Yes. Are you here to see them?” he repeated. “I don’t recognize you as part of the nobility.”

“We aren’t part of the nobility, no,” said Dodo. “We just arrived in Ferelden this morning. We’re in search of purpose and adventure.”

“Plus maybe a story or two. But in the short term, we’ll settle for somewhere to sleep,” added Ick.

The boy nodded again. “Maybe Mother and Father can help. After all, you helped the cats, so maybe we can help you.” He gestured for them to follow before disappearing off in the direction of the castle. Dodo and Ick decided to follow him.

 

The boy led them inside past the guards. Clearly, being with the royal couple’s son was enough to grant the wandering pair access to the great hall where the Prince and Princess were seated on their thrones.

The Princess was a brunette woman, dressed in an emerald green gown that matched her eyes. Beside her was a handsome, golden-haired man with a scarred lip who was evidently fussing over his beloved wife. They both smiled as their son approached, but looked quizzically at the two travelers that trailed behind him.

“Father is the Sun Prince,” the boy explained, lifting his hand to wave at his parents. “Mother is the Rainbow Princess. And I’m the Rain.”

He came to the base of their throne and bowed his head, a gesture which his parents returned. “Hello, my boy,” said the Prince. “Who are your friends?”

“I am called Dodo, and this is Ick,” Dodo ventured, as they took a step forward to bow to the royal couple. “We are travelers, come to this country from across the sea. Your son brought us here to see you.”

“They helped a cat,” said the boy, as if this explained everything. “I thought maybe you could help them.”

“We’re seeking stories and adventure,” said Ick. “And perhaps a place to sleep.”

“Stories?” said the Prince, chuckling. “Yes, I think we have a few of those.”

“Why don’t you join us for a meal tonight?” the Princess suggested. “We will give you a story and a bed for as long as you like.”

“That is very generous, Princess,” said Dodo, bowing again. “You must let us know if we can repay you for this kindness.”

 

So that evening, Dodo and Ick were the royal couple’s honored guests. The Prince was right that they had an interesting story to tell the pair, for it was the story of how the royal couple had met. As it turned out, the Prince of Skyhold had no idea he was a prince; much like the country’s ruler, King Alistair, his royal lineage was a secret. The Prince thought he was nothing more than a sad, broken wanderer. It took the Princess to show him the truth, although it was not easy, for the Prince had many doubts to be erased and wounds to be healed. But one night, as the Prince and Princess danced together, it became clear they were destined to become one.

“I gave my love a lucky coin to remember me by,” said the Prince to his guests. “But as much as I knew we were meant to be together, I was still very afraid. My princess despaired and left the coin behind.”

“I found it,” added the royal couple’s son. “And I helped Father understand his feelings for Mother, helped them find each other when it seemed like she was gone.” With the boy’s help, the Prince was able to find his beloved and restored the coin to her, which she wore in a unique locket.

“I discovered she was a princess come from across the sea and once she knew I loved her, we made plans to be wed and adopted our son.” He glanced fondly between his wife and the boy.

“A splendid tale!” said Dodo. “You are lucky indeed to find such true love.”

“Yes,” the Princess agree. “I had left my home to escape my wicked aunt, who sought to marry me off to a man I did not love. I found my luck here in Ferelden, even before my prince gifted me his lucky coin.” She smiled at her husband.

The Princess, it turned out, came from the same place Dodo and Ick had just departed, and so Ick had great fun talking to her about their mutual homeland. Between this and the excellent stories the couple had to tell the pair, the evening passed by quickly, as did the next several evenings after that. However, as time went on, it became clear something was weighing on the Princess. She seemed nervous, even worried. It was not lost on her husband, who feared her health or the health of their child was in jeopardy.

“No, it’s not that exactly, dear,” she assured him. “I _am_ worried about the baby, but not in the way you’re thinking. I’ve been worried about my wicked aunt.”

The Prince’s brows drew together in a dark glare. “What about her? Has she sent another emissary?”

“My family’s delegation has arrived with the other nobles,” she explained. “I think my father’s rebuke of her shortly after our wedding did the trick and she won’t bother us again, but I’m still concerned.”

“Surely she wouldn’t try anything against your child, my lady?” said Dodo in some shock.

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” the Princess mumbled. “There have been many times when she sought to spirit me back to my homeland or to try and wield her influence.” Her hand lingered on her stomach, as if trying to protect her child from this wicked aunt. Then, suddenly, the flash of a thought brightened her green eyes. “Oh… oh, yes! A Fairy Godmother!”

Her husband looked flummoxed. “A what, my darling?”

“A Fairy Godmother, to protect the baby,” she said. “My family has told stories ever since I was a little girl about protectors helping us in times of need. I’m sure there’s one out there who can help protect our child!”

“But how could we ever hope to find one, Mother?” her son asked, curious.

She considered this. Then, slowly, her gaze roved to Dodo and Ick. “Oh, my friends, did you mean what you said about repaying us? Do you think… do you think you could find a Fairy Godmother in your travels?”

Dodo and Ick exchanged a glance. “That might be a tall order,” said Ick. “But we can try.”

“Of course we can!” Dodo seemed far more confident in their ability than Ick did. “We’ll make sure no harm comes to you or any member of your family from the machinations of a wicked aunt or any other power.”

The Princess heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you. We will reward you handsomely for your efforts – with both stories and coin.”

“If you succeed,” added the Prince, “I will make sure you want for nothing. My family’s health is more important to me than anything in the world.”

Dodo and Ick exchanged another glance at the mention of these rewards. “Your Highnessess are very generous,” said Ick with a little bow. “I only hope we can succeed. I guess we should set out as soon as possible then.”

“Maker guide you,” said the Prince. 

* * *

**_Part Two – Sunshine and the Seven Bodyguards_ **

As comfortable as the castle had been, Dodo and Ick set off soon after to begin their strange errand.

“I admit, not the task I was expecting to get when we came to Ferelden,” said Ick as they made their way outside. “I don’t even know where to begin with finding a Fairy Godmother.”

“No, nor I,” Dodo admitted. “I’m afraid I didn’t give the task much thought; I simply wanted to help the Princess. She seems quite the deserving person.”

“I get it. I liked the family too – they had some good stories to share,” Ick agreed. “Ah, well. Suppose we start by looking around, seeing if maybe anyone knows more about Fairy Godmothers than we do.”

The two men drifted through the castle’s crowded courtyard, trying to see if anyone knew where they could find their quarry. Everyone they spoke to either didn’t know or was too busy to talk to them properly. They were just about to give up and depart the castle to explore other places, when the sight of a lone figure on the battlements stopped them. The figure was a tall woman, who stood with her arms crossed, surveying the scene below.

“Hmm. What about her?” Ick pointed. “She looks like she’s been observing all the comings and goings. Maybe she can point us in the right direction.”

So the two friends made their way up to where the mysterious woman stood. “Hello there, serah,” Dodo called. “We’re looking for someone and we were hoping maybe you had information that would help us.”

“I’m looking for someone too,” the woman replied. “But will you both keep your voices down? Or do you _want_ Queen Meredith’s men to find us?”

“Queen Meredith?” Dodo repeated. “I thought the name of Ferelden’s queen was Elissa.”

“Evil Queen Meredith isn’t Ferelden’s queen, Dodo,” said Ick. “She’s the queen back in my neck of the woods. Didn’t you pick up anything from our days in the tavern?”

The woman’s eyebrows lifted in some surprise. “You know of Queen Meredith and her crimes?” she asked.

Ick shrugged differentially. “Of course. But why are you concerned her men have followed you here?”

“With the birth of the Rainbow Princess’s daughter so close at hand, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Evil Queen sent a retinue in her name. I hear she used to know the baby’s father, although the Prince turned on her when Meredith started to become unstable.” The woman shook her head.

“All the more reason we should find a Fairy Godmother for the babe,” said Dodo.

“And all the more reason for me to find my objective – a bodyguard for my sister,” said the woman.

“A bodyguard for your sister?” Ick repeated. “Why does she need a bodyguard?”

“To protect her from the Evil Queen,” said the woman, a bit cagily. “My sister is an exiled princess, looking to reclaim her throne. She already has six bodyguards – myself included – but before my mother’s death, she was adamant that there be seven. I don’t really know why. So I’m looking for a suitable seventh bodyguard and I’m very particular.”

“Well that,” said Dodo, “sounds like quite the story. And we’re all about stories.”

The woman stroked her chin in thought. “Tell you what – you help me find this missing bodyguard and I’ll help you find a Fairy Godmother for the Princess’s child. Deal?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not,” said Ick. “But if we’re working together, we should introduce ourselves. My name is Ick and my glimmering friend is Dodo.” He gestured to the other man, who nodded.

“My name is Hawke,” said the woman. “Pleased to meet you. Come on, let’s talk more, but not here. I’ll take you back to our hideout in Crestwood.”

Crestwood was a bit of a journey from Skyhold through woods and plains and over rivers. But eventually, they arrived at a little village that was having a wonderful faire. “This way,” said Hawke, gesturing away from the din of the crowd. “We have a little cottage just outside of the settlement.”

She led them into a woodsy area where a charming house was nestled amongst the trees. Hawke approached the door, knocked twice, and waited as a small slat of wood opened to reveal a pair of suspicious green eyes. However, the eyes softened at the sight of Hawke and the door opened to reveal a handsome white-haired man. “Hawke. Who are _they_?” he asked in an extremely pleasant-sounding but slightly hostile speaking voice, nodding in Dodo and Ick’s direction.

“Don’t worry, they’re friends. They’re here to help look for the seventh bodyguard,” Hawke explained.

That seemed good enough for the man, who opened the door fully. Dodo and Ick trooped in after Hawke, their eyes adjusting from the sunlight as the door closed behind them and the man reclaimed his previous seat by the fire, where four other individuals sat.

Hawke introduced the individuals as her sister’s other bodyguards, aside from herself. There was a bright-eyed excitable young woman, the white-haired man who had opened the door, a woman in white leather, a man with auburn hair and piercing blue eyes, and a stern-faced redheaded woman. Hawke said their names, but Ick barely registered them. Mentally, he was already assigning them nicknames – Daisy, Broody, Rivaini, Choirboy. He decided he wouldn’t give nicknames to the redheaded woman (she frightened him too much for that) or Hawke (whom he just thought he’d keep calling “Hawke”).

Shortly thereafter, they were joined by another individual, who came down the staircase on delicate feet. Ick felt his eyes go wide. The girl who emerged was clad in a blue Orlesian silk dress. Her hair was black as night, her skin pale as snow, and her lips ruby red. But it was her eyes that arrested Ick – they were a beautiful amber that glowed like the sun when she smiled. Perhaps that was why he was not at all surprised when Hawke said, “Gentlemen, this is my sister, Princess Sunshine.”

Both Dodo and Ick bowed, but Sunshine chuckled and held up a hand. “Thank you, you’re too kind, but that’s not necessary. It’s nice to meet you.”

“This is Dodo and Ick,” Hawke told her sister. “They’ve agreed to help me find another bodyguard for you.”

“I wish you wouldn’t go to all the trouble,” Sunshine protested.

“Nonsense. You know I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

 

Hawke invited Dodo and Ick to stay the night – the tiny house had more space than it appeared it would – and offered them both heaping bowls of hearty stew for supper. As they ate, they listened to the stories each of the bodyguards had to tell from their own homelands and of the adventures they had had together. But time and again, Ick found himself studying the face of the princess. This did not go unnoticed by Dodo, who smirked.

The following morning, Ick awoke before the rest of the little household and decided to stretch his legs outside in the early morning light. The cottage was located in a beautiful glade, and the soft gentle breezes rustling the leaves overhead made Ick feel content in a way he hadn’t in a while.

“If one must hide out, it’s a lovely spot to do it,” said a voice, interrupting his reverie. He turned to see Sunshine making her way outside. She was clad in a green dress which matched the trees. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Not at all, Milady Sunshine,” said Ick, inclining his head to the princess. “I was just admiring the view. You’re right, it’s a great spot.”

She nodded and extended a hand to him. “Walk with me?”

A little hesitant in a way he couldn’t quite explain, Ick gave her his arm and allowed her to steer him through the tree line. He pondered what to say as they strolled, suddenly at a loss for words for perhaps the first time in his life. Luckily, Sunshine did most of the talking, speaking of her life in their shared homeland. Talking about home always got Ick to open up, and he chatted with her, surprised that he had never heard of her and that she couldn’t retake the throne from the Evil Queen.

This went on for a while, when a noise in the underbrush caught his ear. He squeezed the princess’s hand to get her to stop walking and held a finger to his lips, signaling for quiet. They stopped, eyes wide, and just as Ick was about to tug her gently back in the direction from the house, a warrior emerged from the bushes, his sword raised. He was a large man, with dark hair and a bushy beard, probably a hired mercenary. The way his eyes fell on Sunshine, Ick knew at once that he had been sent by the Evil Queen.

Ick immediately threw himself in front of Sunshine, but he was no fighter and the larger man easily overpowered him. He watched in horror as the man rounded on the princess, but his terror turned to surprise as the man’s expression shifted. What started off as cold determination morphed into shocked awe as he looked into her eyes. After a moment, his lips quivering, he threw his sword down. “My lady,” he said tremulously, beginning to cry. “I beg your forgiveness. I could never bring harm to so innocent a creature.”

Sunshine, who had been frozen in fear, now reached out a tentative hand to touch the crying man’s head in a gesture of comfort. Ick, meanwhile, got to his feet and hurried over. “You all right, Sunshine?” When she nodded, he turned to look at the man. “Did the Evil Queen send you?”

“Yes. She wants the princess dead,” he said, regaining some control. “She fears the princess will gain enough support to retake the throne.”

 

Although still rattled, Sunshine was extremely merciful towards the man, who thanked her profusely and vowed he’d never return to the Evil Queen with news of the princess’s whereabouts. Hawke was, of course, livid when she discovered what had happened.

“How dreadful!” exclaimed Daisy. “What a relief Ick was there!”

“I’m not sure I would have let him go, were I you,” the redheaded woman grumbled, which made Rivaini’s mouth twitch into a sort of smile.

“For once we’re of the same mind, big girl,” she said.

“And you’re certain you’re all right?” asked Choirboy, touching the princess’s shoulder. Why that made Ick frown, he wasn’t quite sure.

“I am,” Sunshine promised, nodding. “But it shows me how desperate the Evil Queen is. She must really want me dead if she sent someone to find me out here.”

“Don’t worry, Milady Sunshine, nothing is going to happen to you. You have my word.” Ick was surprised to realize he had been the one to speak. “We’ll find your seventh bodyguard, I promise.”

“You’re very kind. My hero.” She smiled at him with such warmth that Ick had no difficulty understanding why she had been named Sunshine.

“It... it was nothing,” he insisted, cheeks a little red and Dodo smirking all the while.

* * *

**_Part Three – The Mage and the Bullfrog_ **

Although they had no idea where to start their search for a bodyguard for Princess Sunshine, the two friends nevertheless set out from the cottage and followed the road that would lead them out of Crestwood. For the most part, Dodo was amused by his friend’s sudden interest in helping the merry band of misfits, but he was also growing a tad exasperated, in truth. Both the Rainbow Princess and Princess Sunshine were extremely worthy of the efforts to find a Fairy Godmother and a bodyguard respectively, but he was starting to worry. This was not, after all, what they had signed up for when they came to Ferelden, and he said as much to his companion.

“I know we came here looking for stories and adventure, my good man,” he said to Ick, “but I’m starting to fear we’re getting in over our heads.”

“What, us? Nah. We’ll be fine. I’m sure we can figure this out. We just have to explore a few places, talk to a few people, and we’re golden.”

Dodo wasn’t convinced, however, and as they walked the wooded path he was lost in thought, trying to riddle out their problem. He was therefore less than thrilled when an enormous bullfrog leapt out from the undergrowth, startling him in midstep, and started to _speak_.

“Halt!” said the frog. “Who goes there?”

“Well, now I’ve seen everything.” Ick chuckled as Dodo scurried back. “Just travelers passing through, friend. I’m Ick, he’s Dodo.”

“You’re talking to it?” Dodo asked, eyeing the creature warily. “Don’t talk to it! A talking bullfrog… Maker’s breath, what will they think of next?”

“Hey,” the frog protested. “Who are you calling ‘it?’ Is that any way to speak to The Iron Knight?”

“The Iron Knight?” Ick repeated. “Lofty title for a talking bullfrog.”

“I’m not _really_ a bullfrog,” the frog knight said. “I’m exactly what I said I am – a famous knight. Like you two, I came to Ferelden looking for adventure. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation,” he added in explanation.

“So how did you end up a bullfrog?”

“Encountered this guy on the road during my travels – Erimond was his name. I didn’t take too kindly to how he was treating the villagers here, so he turned me into a bullfrog for my troubles.”

“Right,” said Dodo, obviously still skeptical. “And now you’re... guarding the wooded path, are you?”

“Ignore my friend,” said Ick, giving Dodo a mock glare before turning back to the Iron Knight. “Turned you into a bullfrog, you say? That’s quite a curse.”

“Yup. And now I’m stuck here,” the bullfrog grumbled. “Waiting for someone to come along and break this spell so I can be free.”

“A valiant knight transformed into a frog by a sinister sorcerer,” Ick mused. “These stories just keep getting better and better. Any way we can help you, friend?”

“No idea. I don’t know the first thing about magic.” If the frog knight could have shrugged, he would have. “All I know is that Erimond disappeared after he cursed me. He could be anywhere. And he’s likely not going to tell you how to break the spell even if you do find him.”

“Hmm. What do you think, Dodo? You come from a land of mages.”

“You’re asking me?” Dodo lifted an eyebrow. “I chose to leave that life behind. I’m not exactly up on my frog magic, thank you very much. All I can say is it’s an exceptionally powerful spell and it’s going to take exceptionally powerful magic to break it.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s some magic around here somewhere that can undo this,” said Ick. To the frog, he added, “Why don’t you come along with us? We’re already searching for a Fairy Godmother and a bodyguard, we might as well search for a way to break your curse too.”

“Thanks, but I’d only slow you down,” said the frog. “Just... if you do happen to pass through this neck of the woods again and you have any idea how to break my curse, let me know.”

“Thank you, we will,” Ick assured him. “Just one more question before we part ways – as we said, we’re looking for a Fairy Godmother and a bodyguard. Any ideas where we might start our search?”

“Hmm. I don’t know about the Fairy Godmother, but if you’re looking for a bodyguard, I’d try the Hinterlands. Only the bravest folks live there. But be careful – I hear it’s full of bears.”

“Bears, that’s just what we need,” said Dodo under his breath.

Ick gave him another light glare, then turned back to the bullfrog. “Thank you, Ser Knight. We will be on the lookout for how to break your curse, we promise.”

 

The two men parted ways with the frog and walked for a while in silence. Eventually, when they stopped to make camp, Ick had a question for Dodo.

“You seemed very tense when we were talking to our froggy friend. Copper for your thoughts?”

“I just don’t care much for this business,” said Dodo. “I mean, talking frogs? Evil queens? Wicked aunts and Fairy Godmothers? I’m starting to think we landed in a fairy tale.”

“Ah, but we’re two storytellers! What could be better than arriving in a land full of stories?”

“True, but I preferred when we were _telling_ the stories instead of _living_ them.”

“But that’s how great stories are found!” said Ick. “You have to live them first. A good story, you don’t really write – it was always there, you just uncover it. That’s what we’re doing now.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

The two friends awoke the next morning feeling refreshed, and set off for the Hinterlands. It was a bit of a trek, but they passed the time in their old companionable way, telling stories and laughing as they walked. They even sang a bit; Dodo teased Ick with a silly song about all the things Ick hated, while Ick penned a song about Dodo’s magnificently colorful wardrobe.

Eventually, however, the men heard a different song echoing through the trees. It was a song so beautiful that even the birds paused to listen, dumbfounded by what they heard.

“What is that incredible music?” Ick asked.

“It sounds like a woman’s voice, but it’s so pleasant I would mistake it for a bird song. Like a nightingale,” said Dodo. “Maybe we should follow it and see where it leads. Anyone with such skill deserves the compliments of a fellow artist.”

“Well, then, what are we doing standing around here? Let’s go.”

* * *

**_Part Four – The Little Nightingale_ **

In short order, Dodo and Ick made their way into the Hinterlands, following the voice they heard rising from the forest. The very air was practically golden with it, and both beast and flower seemed to grow mellow in the wake of its sound.

“What could be responsible for such a beautiful noise?” Dodo mused.

But he didn’t have long to wonder, for in the middle of a nearby clearing, they found the source of the music. The singer looked up and smiled warmly at them; when she spoke, her speaking voice was just as melodious as her singing voice.

“Oh, I didn’t realize I had company,” she said, inclining her head in greeting. “I apologize for not seeing you there sooner.”

“No, it is we who must apologize,” said Dodo, “for interrupting your beautiful song.”

“Why, thank you. I’m pleased you liked it. Music lifts my spirit.”

“And the spirit of the forest, too,” Ick pointed out, gesturing around to the clearing. “Your voice must be magic.”

The woman giggled pleasantly. “Something like that.” She stood, stepping into the sunlight, and for the first time Dodo and Ick could see her properly. She had a pale, beautiful face and red hair, which was obscured by a purple hood that flowed into the rest of her purple and grey garments. She moved with such grace that it was almost easy to mistake her for a bird, which is perhaps how she earned the name she shared with them now. “People call me Nightingale,” she said. “You can too, if you like. What may I call you?”

“I am Dodo and this is Ick.” Both men bowed. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine,” she assured them. “Tell me, did you gentlemen follow the sound of my singing?”

“Yes, Lady Nightingale, we did,” said Ick.

The woman giggled again. “I thought as much. You see, ever since I can remember, the Maker has blessed me with this little gift – my voice has the power to draw things to me. Plants, animals, even people are captivated. It’s quite extraordinary.”

“We happened to be passing through,” Dodo explained. “The sound of your song diverted us.”

“And what brings you to the Hinterlands? It can be quite dangerous for unarmed travelers – there are bears, bandits, all manner of things.” Her blue eyes darkened for a moment. “And of course, there’s the Elder One, Cory Pheus.”

Dodo and Ick both looked slightly alarmed at the woman’s grave tone. “What is a Cory Pheus?” Dodo dared to ask.

“Not _what_. _Who_. He is a vile fiend,” she replied sharply. Then she softened again. “But I won’t speak of him any more just now. Come, you are probably hungry, yes? Stay with me and replenish your strength for a while.”

 

They accepted Lady Nightingale’s offer and followed her to a beautifully kept house. On the way, they passed a large number of children who seemed to be taking shelter there as well. They were of various ages and backgrounds, all playing happily together or reading under the shade of the trees or eating fruit from the garden on the far side of the little plot of land. As the Nightingale came into their view, however, they all stopped and waved or bowed to her. One tiny child even ran up to hug her leg and, smiling, she stroked the child’s hair before sending him on his way.

“These can’t all be your children,” said Ick, astounded.

“Oh, no, no. They’re my wards,” she explained, leading them to the house. “You’ll remember I said my voice calls people to me, yes? All these children are poor or orphaned or otherwise in need to someone to look out for them. They followed the sound of my singing and now I take care of them.”

Both Dodo and Ick stopped short as the Nightingale began talking to another child who greeted her at the door. “Hmm. I wonder if she could be the final bodyguard Princess Sunshine needs,” Ick mused quietly.

“Or the Fairy Godmother the Princess of Skyhold requested we seek,” said Dodo, but fell silent as their host graciously showed them inside.

Once her guests had been given a cup of tea and a warm slab of bread with honeyed butter, the Nightingale sat down across from the pair with her own cup of tea. “It just occurs to me you never did say what brings you to the Hinterlands,” she said, blowing the steam from her mug.

“Oh, right.” Ick swallowed a piece of bread and explained to the Nightingale that he and Dodo had come in search of stories and adventure and now had many tasks to complete.

“And you mentioned a Cory Pheus,” said Dodo. “Who exactly is he?”

“He is a malignant man,” said the Nightingale, “who wields a wicked, unholy version of my gift. You see, where my voice can bring the needy to me to be comforted, Cory Pheus uses a different kind of music – the dark, sick music of red lyrium – to lure the unsuspecting to their doom.”

Ick felt a shiver go through him, but it was Dodo who spoke. “What is this red lyrium?”

“It’s an evil magical substance,” said the Nightingale. “And it corrupts everything it touches. I fear it – and him – for I worry he could use this terrifying music to lead my wards astray. That is why I work so hard to protect them. But we are hardly hidden, and it always worries me that one day he will find us.”

“There are other places you could go,” Dodo suggested. “Perhaps you could take the children to Skyhold – I’m sure the Prince and Princess would give you shelter.”

“Thank you,” she said earnestly. “But I must involve as few people as possible – I already have friends who risk their own safety to help, although I wish they wouldn’t. It is for this reason that I would never ask either of you to lend me your aid either, especially when you are already so busy. Instead, I ask only this: if you encounter people or spells which can help me defeat this Cory Pheus once and for all, please send them to me.”

“You can count on it,” Dodo vowed. But this time it was Ick’s turn to look discomfited.

 

Later that night, the Lady Nightingale offered them beds to sleep in and a rich soup of freshly grown vegetables for their supper. As she entertained her wards outside in their beautiful grove, the two men ate in silence at her dining room table.

“Is something bothering you, my friend?” Dodo inquired, noticing Ick half-heartedly picking at a piece of carrot in his soup. “You’ve been uncharacteristically silent.”

“Huh?” Ick looked up suddenly. “Oh. It’s nothing. I just can’t shake the feeling that I’ve heard of this red lyrium before. But I can’t remember why.”

“Perhaps tales of its fiendishness reached your ears back in your homeland?” Dodo suggested.

Ick shrugged. “I don’t know, seems plausible. Just ignore me. Let’s finish our dinner.”

“A good idea,” said Dodo, eating daintily. “Do you really think Nightingale could be one of the people we seek?”

Ick shrugged again. “Maybe. She certainly ticks a few boxes. I think we should get going in the morning, see what we can see – either we’ll find the real people and spells we’re looking for, or we’ll find the spell she needs to defeat this Cory Pheus, then we can convince her to come along and help.”

“Quite right. She would never leave her charges until that threat is gone. Either way, defeating Cory Pheus seems like a good thing to do.” Dodo nodded. “But we’ll worry about it in the morning. For now, let’s finish here and go listen to the Lady Nightingale’s song.”

“I’ll drink to that, my resplendent friend.”

* * *

**_Part Five – Little Golden Hood_ **

The Nightingale refused to send them off in the morning without something to help them travel the Hinterlands safely.

“Here,” she said, thrusting a pendant into Ick’s hand. “This has the essence of my voice inside of it. If you run into trouble and need to pacify a hostile party, open it. The song will lull any earthly creature - man or beast. Now be careful, and Maker watch over you.” She and her wards waved to the pair as they departed and soon they heard her lovely song disappearing into the trees.

They walked for a long time in silence, neither knowing quite what they were doing or where they were going. However, they soon heard a rustling in the trees that caused them both to stop short.

“What is that?” Dodo asked in some alarm. “A bear? A bandit?”

Ick had Lady Nightingale’s magical pendant at the ready, his hands trembling. But what crossed their path was nothing like what they were expecting. Instead of a wild beast or a fearsome bandit, they found themselves face-to-face with a pretty, dark-haired woman, wrapped in a golden cloak.

“Oh!” she exclaimed when she saw them, her voice heavily Antivan accented. “Oh, I do apologize. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Entirely our fault, miss,” said Ick. “Begging your pardon. My name is Ick and my friend is called Dodo. You’re almost shinier than he is,” he added with a chuckle, gesturing to the shimmering cloak of gold, the hood of which was pulled up over the woman’s head.

Dodo groaned, but the lady laughed. “Thank you. In fact, they call me Little Golden Hood for just that very reason. A pleasure to meet you.” She curtseyed with the hem of said cloak.

“If you’ll excuse me for asking, what are you doing all alone in this forest? Isn’t it dangerous?” Dodo interjected.

“It is.” Little Golden Hood nodded. “But I’m on very important business for a friend – she looks after many poor, neglected children and I am searching far and wide for resources to help her.”

The pair was astounded. “Your friend wouldn’t happen to be Nightingale, would she?” Ick asked.

Little Golden Hood lit up at that. “Yes, as a matter of fact, she is!”

“We just left her abode,” said Dodo. “We thought maybe we could help her find a way to defeat Cory Pheus.”

“Ah, yes,” said the woman grimly, giving a little shudder. “He is a terrifying man, and Nightingale desperately wants to help her wards escape his clutches. That is why I want to help her protect and take care of them. I have many connections throughout Thedas, so I try to use them to Nightingale’s benefit. In fact, I’ve just been in talks to secure a Rivaini amulet said to help ward off the effects of possession. I’m hoping it will help stop Cory Pheus’s music from taking hold.” Suddenly, she sighed. “There’s only one problem – the Wolf.”

“The wolf?” Ick repeated. “We’ve seen no wolves on this forest path.”

“This is not an ordinary wolf,” said Little Golden Hood. “Many have warned me about him, telling me not to deviate from the path. But I can feel he is following me, dogging me at every turn. Every time I think I can get to where I need to go, he’s there.”

“Have you ever seen this wolf up close?” asked Dodo.

“No, but I have heard the legends. They say he is a trickster... that he has many eyes.”

“The better to see you with, my dear,” came a voice.

All three travelers took an alarmed step back at the sudden interruption. The voice in question was so calm and even pleasant to the ear that it was hard to describe why it suddenly put a frosty chill into their blood. But as the trees rustled and eyes blinked in the underbrush, each of them shivered.

“It’s him!” said Little Golden Hood, her eyes wide. “The Dread Wolf!”

“That is correct,” said the voice. The bushes rustled again. But although he stalked them, the Dread Wolf did not show his face, just as Little Golden Hood had described.

“And... and what do you want?” Ick demanded, his fingers once again finding Nightingale’s magical pendant. “Why do you bother innocent travelers just trying to find their way about in the forest?”

“I seek a magical artifact,” said the Dread Wolf. “Lost to me, as so many of the artifacts of my people have been.”

“And you think this woman has it?”

“No, I know she does not. But as she herself has told you, she has many connections that could find it. And so I will not let her pass until I have the artifact returned to me.”

“Maybe _we_ can find it,” said Dodo. “But it would help if we knew what it was.”

“It is one of several foci,” said the Dread Wolf. “An orb. Find it for me and your friend may pass safely. If not… well, I leave you with one of the curses of my people – may the Dread Wolf take you.” And with that, he disappeared.

 

Little Golden Hood was a bit shaken after this encounter but nevertheless determined. “I will not fail in my quest,” she said emphatically. “But for now, I will return to the village and draft a letter to Nightingale, letting her know what’s keeping me.”

“We promise we’ll do everything we can to find this... this orb the Dread Wolf seeks,” Dodo promised.

“Sheesh, a wicked aunt, an Evil Queen, a sinister sorcerer, a villainous piper, and now a Dread Wolf,” said Ick. “Maybe we really _are_ in a fairy tale.”

“Not to mention two princesses, a talking frog, a Nightingale, and a woman on a quest,” offered Dodo. “This is most assuredly a fairy tale.”

Little Golden Hood laughed slightly, their light words returning her to her old self after their frightening ordeal. “Well, if it is a fairy tale, I hope eventually we get to a happy ending.”

“So do we,” said Ick. “Now, why don’t we escort you back to Redcliffe? It’s the least we can do.”

* * *

**_Part Six – The Chevalier and the Demon_ **

Little Golden Hood accepted Dodo and Ick’s invitation and walked with them back to the village. They parted ways with an amicable wave as she went to her write her letter, and the pair of friends found their way to the local tavern. It was warm and tidy, and they decided it was as good a place to stay as anywhere.

They were just in the process of ordering drinks when a man clad in fancy armor all but stumbled into the establishment, sank down at the bar, and ordered a bottle of Orlesian wine. His pale face looked weary and shaking hands snaked through butter-colored hair.

“Are you all right, good ser?” asked Dodo, concerned. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Not a ghost,” said the man, whose Orlesian-accented voice trembled. He threw back his drink as it was presented to him, swallowing hard. “A demon. More cunning than anything I have encountered... and I have played the Game.”

“Are you a Chevalier, then?” Ick interjected.

The man nodded. “I have come from the Emprise du Lion, where I tried to atone for a past mistake. The demon who prowls there only exists because of my foolishness. I tracked him all the way to a tall, frozen fortress and slew him… but something more monstrous awaited me.”

Dodo and Ick both leaned forward, slightly fearful and slightly intrigued. “What did you encounter?” Ick asked.

“The fortress and the town below it have all been corrupted by this substance… a horrible red glowing substance… red lyrium.”

“Just like Nightingale said Cory Pheus controls,” said Dodo said in an aside to his companion.

“The red lyrium is watched over by a man… a man who wears it in his armor as easily as I wear the crest of the empress of Orlais.” The Chevalier shuddered. “He called himself Samson.”

Ick’s eyes went side. “Wait, hold on, Champion. The man’s name is Samson? Andraste’s sanctified girdle, I know that name. Now I remember why red lyrium sounds so familiar! It’s what drove Evil Queen Meredith mad many years ago. Samson used to work with her. Why would he ever want to _wear_ that stuff?!”

“What happened to this Samson?” Dodo wanted to know.

“I could not defeat him, for his armor is too strong,” said the Chevalier. “There must be some way to stop him, but I don’t know how. All I found among his possessions were these tools and a few other useless items.” He laid a pack of various trinkets on the counter.

“Hmm.” Dodo peered at the items. The tools were promising. “Those are lyrium-forging instruments,” he said. “I wonder if these made the armor.”

“Then maybe the armor can be unmade,” said the Chevalier, brightening slightly.

“Perhaps. But it would take remarkable work. It would take an arcanist.”

“Well, why don’t we add it to the list?” said Ick. “We’re already on the hunt for a Fairy Godmother, a bodyguard, a spell to turn a frog back into a knight, something to defeat a fiend, and a magical artifact. We might as well look for an arcanist too.”

Privately, Ick was wondering if maybe this Chevalier was Princess Sunshine’s final bodyguard. If they helped him, maybe he could be convinced to come watch over the princess. Or, if not, perhaps defeating Samson would help destroy Cory Pheus’s supply of red lyrium, which would free up Nightingale to go to Skyhold if she really was the Fairy Godmother they sought. Either way, it seemed like a good idea – after all, red lyrium was bad news.

Dodo seemed to be of a similar mind, but before he could say anything, a voice interrupted them from the doorway. “An arcanist, you say? Nightingale has one numbered among her wards.” They turned to see Little Golden Hood, who approached them. “I apologize for eavesdropping, but I just finished my letter and came looking for you.”

“No apologies necessary,” said Ick. “What’s this about an arcanist staying with Nightingale?”

“Yes, a very skilled girl, if slightly unorthodox. I helped get her to Nightingale’s sanctuary – I’m sure she’s still there.”

“Well then, I guess we’re going back to visit our friend Nightingale.” To the Chevalier, he added. “Champion, don’t go anywhere. We’ll find this arcanist and see what she says about these tools.”

“If all goes well,” Dodo added, “she should be able to make us a rune or some such thing that will destroy Samson’s armor immediately.”

The Orlesian man bowed deeply. “I cannot thank you enough for doing this for me. If we succeed, I will gladly pledge myself to whatever cause you would have me join.”

“One step at a time, Champion, one step at a time,” said Ick. “We have to succeed first. But if we do, we may just take you up on that offer.”

* * *

**_Part Seven – The Rogue and the Arcanist_ **

By the next afternoon, Dodo and Ick had made their way back to Nightingale’s glade. She was surprised to see them, but delighted – especially when they postulated they may have a way to bring Cory Pheus to a heel. They told her all about what had happened since they left her, particularly what the Chevalier had told them.

“An arcanist,” she said. “Why yes. She’s a very clever girl. She has started working under Thom’s tutelage.”

“Who is Thom?” said Dodo and Ick nearly at once, making Nightingale chuckle.

“Ah, of course you would not know him. He arrived after you left. Come, I’ll introduce you.”

She led them outside to the far end of her plot of land where a man stood cutting wood, his big hands carving it into the shape of a griffon. As he turned to look at them, Ick’s eyes went wide. “You… you’re the mercenary who was spared by Princess Sunshine!” he exclaimed in surprise.

“We meet again, brave Ser Ick,” said the man they now knew was called Thom, inclining his head. “After the Princess Sunshine spared my life, I wandered the forest, searching for purpose. I followed the sound of Lady Nightingale’s voice. She knew all about my… attempt on the Princess’s life, but she agreed to take me in.”

“No one is without worth,” Nightingale said kindly. “Whoever you are, whatever your mistakes, you are loved unconditionally. I believe that. And so I believe in second chances too. No one is turned away from my doors.”

“Now I work here, helping instruct some of the children who wish to learn how to make things out of wood or metal,” he explained, gesturing to the griffon. “I’m finding purpose again.”

“Is one of your students an arcanist, by any chance?” asked Dodo.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, she’s one of my favorite students. If you’d like to talk to her, she should be back soon – she went out into the forest to collect some plants.”

“She went out alone?!” Ick asked, slightly alarmed after everything they had heard and seen over the past several days.

“Oh, no, of course not,” Nightingale assured them. “She never goes anywhere without her companion – a rogue archer. They’re inseparable. The archer will protect her. Until the girls return, come and have some dinner. Tell me all about your adventures. What’s this you say about running into Little Golden Hood?”

 

The rest of the evening passed by pleasantly, but Dodo and Ick were surprised to find they were awakened before dawn by Thom, who seemed distressed.

“I’m worried,” he said when they were awake. “The rogue and the arcanist have not returned yet. They can both be very independent spirits, but this is unlike them. I don’t want to worry Nightingale with it. Will you please help find them?”

Although Ick was admittedly slightly reluctant to help Sunshine’s former attempted murderer, the pair agreed. After all, there were two innocent young women who needed to be found. And Nightingale was right in what she had said about second chances. So, before the sun was up, the pair set out through the forest to search for where the rogue and the arcanist could have gone.

“They’ve left a trail,” said Dodo, pointing to carvings in the trees that seemed to point a path back home. “They can’t be too much further away.”

After a while, they came through the tree line and found themselves staring at a cottage. It would almost be easy to mistake it for Nightingale’s little domicile, but it had none of the cozy trappings of domesticity. It seemed more like a temporary outpost than a home. They exchanged a wary glance, but approached nevertheless, and almost as soon as they took their first step, the cottage door swung open. Standing on the threshold was a witch. She peered at them with keen, curious eyes, her lips twitching to reveal gapped teeth set into a sneer.

“Begone, travelers,” she said. “This is no place for you.”

“We seek a rogue and an arcanist,” said Dodo, marshalling his bravery. “We have tracked them here from Nightingale’s glade.”

“Yes, I have them,” said the witch evenly. “My master seeks the talents of the arcanist. The archer refused to leave her side, so she must come too. But they are both unharmed… for now.”

“Your master?” said Ick. “Who is your master?”

“The same man your Nightingale would seek to destroy – the man who will bring growth and new potential to my homeland. Cory Pheus.”

Both Dodo and Ick exchanged a look. Dodo could tell by the woman’s accent that her homeland was his own and he used this to his advantage now. “To your homeland? I believe we share a homeland, Lady…?”

“Calpernia,” she replied, eyeing him suspiciously. “You come from the North?”

“I do. I am called Dodo.” He bowed to her. “My friend Ick and I have not encountered your master, but we hear tales of him. Surely you are not his slave.”

“Once I was a slave,” the woman said grimly. “But no more. Now I choose whom to serve.”

“No, no, Lady Calpernia – you must not choose to serve Cory Pheus. He is a cruel man who enslaves those around him using the horror that is red lyrium. Surely he would do the same to you, to drive you back into slavery the minute you give him what he wants.”

The witch looked taken aback, both indignant and alarmed. “That…” She shook her head. “Where I come from, idle tales must be proven,” she barked.

“Where _we_ come from,” Dodo corrected. “I’ll get you your proof. Then you can see once and for all what kind of man you are working with.”

“Until then,” Ick added, “you must promise not to hand the girls over to him.”

Calpernia considered this. “If what you say is true about Cory Pheus, you will have my help in your quest. If not… you do not want to know what will happen to you if I discover you are lying to me.”

“We are not lying to you,” said Dodo.

“Very well – get me proof of what you say and I will let the girls go. Until then, I will not hand them over to my master. I am a woman of my word. But you have until sundown three days from now before I change my mind.”

Ick sighed in relief. “Thank you. You are by far the most level-headed of the villains we’ve encountered these many days.”

“I must admit I’ve had my… doubts about Cory Pheus,” she confessed. “He has given me so much – lifted me from slavery – I feel I owe him. But if he is enslaving others with this red lyrium…” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head. “I only wish our homeland be cleansed of corruption.” Her gaze fell on Dodo. “I cannot do that if I am a slave.”

Dodo nodded. He felt a strange level of sympathy for this woman. “I understand, Lady Calpernia. We will return with proof, you have my word.”

* * *

**_Part Eight – Seeker of Truth_ **

Although the idea that the witch could be swayed to their side was a boon, Dodo and Ick were worried, for they truthfully had no idea how to convince Calpernia that Cory Pheus would enslave her if given the chance.

“We should send word to Thom,” said Dodo. “If nothing else, he’ll want to know his favorite students are safe.”

“We will, we will,” said Ick. “But I hate to return to Lady Nightingale with nothing else to show for our troubles. And besides, we only have three days before the witch changes her mind. We should get to work.”

They continued into the woods, stopping only briefly to pen a letter to Thom which they sent off with one of the many ravens Nightingale used to deliver messages, which were scattered throughout the forest. Then, they continued onward, searching desperately for the proof they sought.

At last, after a day full of walking and a night full of uneasy dreams, the friends made their way out of the forest and found themselves looking at the back of a tall tower with only a single window and seemingly no doors. They were very perplexed by this, particularly when they saw a dark-haired man strumming a lute and singing at the base of said tower. They approached him curiously and he stopped playing as he saw them.

“Hello, friend,” said Dodo. “I apologize for interrupting your wonderful song, but may I ask what exactly you’re doing?”

“Oh, at last, maybe someone can help me,” said the man. He stood and gave them a jaunty bow. “My name is Ser Non, knight of the forest. I seek the hand of the princess who is locked in yonder tower. But alas, the one door on the other side of the tower is under guard and this window is too difficult to reach by climbing – believe me, I’ve tried. So instead, I play the princess music, but she never responds. I don’t even know if she can hear me. Do you think you can help me find a way inside?”

“Erm... maybe, Ser Non,” said Ick. “We’ll certainly try. I’m Ick, by the way, this is Dodo.”

“A pleasure. Come on, I have a camp not far from here. I can hunt something for dinner, then I will bring you both up to speed on my epic quest.”

 

As they sat by the campfire, Ser Non gave them a bit more detail about this mysterious tower. “It is guarded by a man they call Lucius,” he said. “He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep, he just stands there guarding the tower.”

“Hmm. How odd,” said Dodo. “Perhaps he’s using some sort of magic.”

The knight shrugged. “Seems plausible. The only trouble is how can we possibly hope to move him if he’s stuck fast there?”

“Is there any other way into the tower?” Dodo asked.

“No, none, I’ve searched everywhere. You’re welcome to look come first light.”

They did so and the pair studied the tower for a good long while before sitting down on the ground with a huff of defeat.

“I see your problem, serah,” said Dodo. “This is indeed a challenging puzzle.”

“From what you were telling me last night, it seems you both have had quite your share of challenging puzzles. I’m sorry to add another to your list.” He shook his head. “Just know that if you help me with this, I will aid you in whatever way I can.”

“Thank you, Ser Knight,” said Dodo. “For all we know, you may be one of the people we seek. It’s all very unknown at this point.”

They sat thinking for a time while Ser Non absentmindedly strummed his lute. Suddenly, Ick had an idea.

“Wait…” he said. “We’re overcomplicating this. We don’t have to find another way in. We can just walk through the front door!”

Both Non and Dodo blinked at him. “My dear friend, are you quite well?” Dodo asked at last.

“Dodo, don’t you remember the gift Nightingale bestowed on us?” Ick reached into his pocket and pulled out the pendant. “ _This_ is the magic we need to get Lucius to move from the door. He hears this and he’ll be no trouble at all.”

They made their way to the door and the trio stepped forward with all the bravery they could muster. Lucius was a stern-faced man with curiously empty eyes, which regarded them all with a bizarre combination of disinterest and anticipation. His fingers trembling, Ick opened the pendant and within seconds the melodious voice of the Nightingale filled the clearing until even the birds stopped to listen.

Lucius, however, was unmoved.

“Huh…” said Ick as the song came to an end. “That… should have worked. Didn’t Nightingale say this would protect against any earthly beast or being?”

“She did,” said Dodo. “So why didn’t it work on this man?”

“Because…” said Ser Non, his green eyes narrowing as he drew his knives. “He is not earthly. He is a demon.”

“ _Finally_ ,” said Lucius in a cold, terrifying voice and before their eyes he transformed into a monstrous envy demon the likes of which they had never seen.

The battle was fearsome, the envy demon trying to possess the knight many times, but in the end, the knight would not be defeated and stood victorious against the creature. He stood over the limp form of the demon and turned to the tower where his princess had so long dwelled. But, before he could do anything, the door to the tower banged open and standing in the doorway was a serious woman, tall and dark-haired, with a scar on her cheek.

“What’s all this?” she demanded. “Who are you?”

The knight merely blinked at her for a moment, so Ick spoke for him. “The man guarding your tower was a demon in disguise,” he said once introductions were made. “The knight slew him.”

“A demon?” Her eyes widened in concern and confusion. “That does explain much. I suppose I should be thanking you for making sure he could be defeated. But what were you doing here?”

At last, the knight seemed to find his voice. “I encountered the tower… I heard you praying. I sought to free you from your tower, Princess,” he explained.

At this, the woman laughed. “Princess?” she repeated. “I am not a princess – I’m only seventy-eighth in line for the Nevarran throne. No, I am a Seeker of Truth.”

From their place, Dodo and Ick glanced at each other. “I’ve never heard of a Seeker of Truth,” said Dodo. “What is it? And why were you trapped in that tower anyway?”

“I was not trapped there, I was undergoing my vigil to become a Seeker. I’ve been there for months.” At this, the Seeker turned to Ser Non, and something in her eyes was beyond bright. “And you… you were the one playing the music, weren’t you?”

Ser Non’s own eyes were wide now. “I was. I wasn’t certain you heard me.”

“I did. I may not have answered, but I heard every note and every word.” She smiled at him. “And it kept me going when things were hardest. I told myself then when I was finally done with my vigil – when I could finally step outside again – that I would thank whoever played for me. So thank you. It was _so romantic_.” She sighed dreamily.

The knight smiled back and bowed to her. “As you like it, my lady Seeker.” He turned, surveying his friends and the lady. “Come on, let’s go back to camp. It sounds like there’s quite a story to be told here.”

 

They spent a good long while bringing the lady up to speed on their adventures, to which she listened with rapt attention. She in turn told them of her vigil and how becoming a Seeker had been her goal for years. It seemed like a pleasant evening was in store for them all when suddenly a rustling came from the bushes. Both the Seeker and Ser Non drew their weapons at once, looking around. But, although they could see no one, they could hear a chillingly familiar voice.

“The newest Seeker,” it said. “With a man I can only assume is the great Ser Non.”

All four of them turned and, much to their profound shock, saw Lucius striding out of the greenery to meet them.

“But I… but I killed you!” Ser Non exclaimed.

“What you killed was only an imitation of me,” said Lucius. He seemed completely uninterested in the knight or the wandering duo; his attention was squarely on the newly minted Seeker. “I allowed that demon to imitate me, to guard the tower, as I had important business elsewhere - business with which I knew you would interfere if not guarded.”

The Seeker looked flabbergasted. “Me?” she said. “What business? Why did you send a demon to guard the tower?”

“Because if I had not, you would have stopped me from meeting with Cory Pheus, you would have stopped me from remaking the Seekers of Truth under his banner.”

The Seeker bristled, having just listened to Dodo and Ick’s tale and recognizing this name. “From what I hear, Cory Pheus is a monster!” she spat.

“He is,” said Lucius with a nod. “A monster with limited ambition. But _my_ ambition is so much greater! I will help make a new order of Seekers, a new world. Will you stand in my way as I suspected you would, or will you join me?”

“I’m sorry you went to all this trouble,” said the Seeker coldly. “For I will _never_ join you.” She drew her weapon, and the final battle belonged to her.

 

“For a man with such lofty ambitions, he fell easily,” Ser Non noted when it was all over. He then glanced at Ick and Dodo. “I am sorry you were dragged into all this, my friends. But Lucius is defeated and my lady Seeker is free from her tower. You helped me, and I promised I would help you on your quest. I am here to serve you.”

“We thank you kindly, Ser Non,” said Ick. “But there’s only one problem – we’re not entirely sure how you can help us.”

“I might have something that will be valuable to you,” the Seeker interrupted, walking over to them now and holding out her hand. “A memory crystal. Lucius was carrying it. It seems like some of the memories on it belong to Cory Pheus.”

The three men gasped. “Are any of them about Calpernia?” Dodo asked hastily. “If they are, we could use them as the proof we need!”

The Seeker nodded and activated the crystal. A deep, rumbling voice emanated from within – Cory Pheus – speaking of his plans, his red lyrium, the fate awaiting Calpernia.

“This is perfect,” said Ick when at last the crystal fell silent. “Well, creepy, but perfect. Calpernia will definitely release the rogue and the arcanist now. And the arcanist can help the Chevalier defeat Samson and his red lyrium, which should help bring down Cory Pheus.”

“We still need to figure out what artifact the Dread Wolf needs to let Little Golden Hood pass and there’s the matter of the bodyguard for Princess Sunshine and the Fairy Godmother for the Rainbow Princess,” Dodo pointed out.

“And the spell to free the frog, don’t forget.”

“No rest for the wicked,” said the Seeker, sounding amused.

“Indeed,” said Dodo, then sighed. “I don’t know if we’re going to be able to do it all. We’re just humble storytellers.”

“If there’s one thing I learned in my vigil, it’s that knowing yourself is the greatest victory,” she told the two friends. “I’ve listened to you two speak, I’ve heard your stories. I know you can do this. Which is why I too will accompany you on your worthy quest. My knight may have pledged his help to you, but you have mine as well.”

“Thank you, lady Seeker. That means a lot to us.”

“Just don’t let me down,” she said, chuckling slightly. “Now come on, I believe we have a quest to undertake.”

* * *

**_Part Nine – The Elder One_ **

Dodo, Ick, the Seeker, and Ser Non set off for Calpernia’s cottage at once and found the witch waiting for them.

“We returned as we said we would, Lady Calpernia,” said Dodo, handing her the memory crystal. “And we brought the proof you seek.”

She stared at the crystal, slightly dubious, but listened to the memories contained within it, her eyes growing wide. When at last the diatribe ended, she was silent. “You’re... you... you enchanted this. This isn’t real,” she finally spluttered.

“I’d be willing to wager you know the magic that is used to make these, Calpernia,” said Dodo. “So you know we’re telling you the truth. Those are Cory Pheus’s memories, those are the plans he has made to enslave you once you’ve lived out your usefulness.”

She glanced between the four travelers and the crystal for a moment. Then, in a fit of rage, she flung it to the ground, where it shattered on the flagstones. “He made so many promises. And every one, a lie! _Venhedis kaffan vas_!” she swore. “I was so blind!”

“Cory Pheus has deceived many with his promises, it seems,” said Dodo. “You wanted to make our homeland better and you thought he could do that. Our homeland _does_ need a strong leader, a reformer... but not him. Maybe you can be that woman.”

Suspicion darkened her gaze. “You mock me. As if you and your warrior friends would let me walk away.”

“Our friends are doing you a great service, witch,” warned the Seeker. “I would not waste it were I you.”

Calpernia considered this and the suspicion in her eyes changed to gratitude. “Very well. I am... I am grateful for this. I will release your rogue and your arcanist – and I will also give you something you need in your quest.” She fetched a magical artifact and held it out to Dodo. It was an orb. “I believe you seek this somnaborium. Take it, I give it freely. _Vitae benefaria_ , travelers. Do not follow me.”

 

True to her word, Calpernia released her captives. The rogue was a tall, lanky girl with a mop of yellow hair, a frenzied sort of laugh, and an almost superhuman plethora of arrows. “Widdle! Widdle, you all right, love?” she asked the arcanist immediately.

The rogue’s companion, by contrast, was short and bubbly. She seemed almost excited by the whole ordeal. “All right? I’m great! That magic the witch used to hold us was incredible! I wish I had had time to study it!”

“Ladies,” Ick interrupted, and made the introductions. “We were asked by your teacher Thom to come find you. And we were hoping you might be able to make a rune for us.”

“‘Course she can!” The last statement had been addressed to the arcanist, but it was answered by the rogue. “My Widdle is the best bloody arcanist this side of the Anderfels! You want a rune made, she’s your girl. Isn’t that right, honeybee?”

The arcanist giggled. “A rune? Yeah, sure thing! Let’s go back home and I’ll make you as many runes as you like!”

And so, the little group trooped back to Nightingale’s cottage, where they were met by a very relieved Thom. “Oh, thank the Maker you found them!” he said when the rogue and the arcanist came over the hill, waving enthusiastically. “Wait, who are these two?” He pointed to the Seeker and Ser Non.

“That, I suspect, is a bit of a long story.” Dodo chuckled.

Said long story was told to Thom and Nightingale over supper that night. In the next room, the arcanist cheerfully plugged away at the required rune using the tools the Chevalier had given them. She presented the finished product to them the following morning.

“Next stop, that Chevalier. I hope he’s still in town,” said Ick.

“Little Golden Hood, too,” Dodo added. “She should be able to lead us to the Dread Wolf and he can get his artifact, letting her pass so she can get what she needs for Nightingale. And if Nightingale agrees to follow us and leave the children in Thom’s care for the time being, we can take her back to Skyhold to be the baby’s Fairy Godmother.”

“Then we can take the Seeker, Ser Non, and Champion back to Hawke and see if any of them fit the bill for a bodyguard,” Ick replied. “All in all, not too bad.”

 

While Nightingale and Thom stayed with the children, the others agreed to follow Ick and Dodo into town to find the Chevalier and Little Golden Hood. They found Little Golden Hood first, trying to navigate the path once more. She was surprised to hear what had happened, but nevertheless glad they had the artifact the Dread Wolf required.

“Where did you get such an artifact?” she inquired. “ _How_ did you get it?”

“A witch in a cottage,” said Ick. “I’m not even kidding.”

So Little Golden Hood led the little group into the forest where, sure enough, the tell-tale rustling began. Ser Non drew his knives, the Seeker brandished her sword, and the young rogue had her bow at the ready; but it was Dodo who stepped forward, reaching into his bag and removing the orb. “We have your orb, Dread Wolf. Where I come from, we call them somnaborium, vessels of dreams. I suspect this is what you’re looking for.”

For a moment, the rustling reached a fearful crescendo. But where the group was expecting a terrible wolf with many eyes, what they found instead was a man, his smooth scalp glinting in the sunlight, his lithe torso wrapped in a wolf pelt. “Excellent,” he said in his cool, even voice. “This is precisely what I seek. I will not bar your path through the forest further.”

As he stalked away with the orb, Little Golden Hood turned to Dodo and Ick. “How can I ever repay you?” she asked.

“No repayment necessary. Just go and get that amulet,” said Ick pleasantly.

“And do be careful on the path, Golden Hood,” added Dodo.

“Thank you. I won’t forget this.” She bowed and was gone, finally able to follow the path she wished to take.

“Well,” said Ick, “next stop, to find Champion.”

The group made their way into Redcliffe, searching for the yellow-haired Chevalier, who was still in town and waiting for them to return. “My friends!” he called when he saw them. “Were you successful? Have you found a way to destroy General Samson’s horrid red lyrium armor?”

“This rune will help,” said the arcanist. “It acts on the median fissures of lyrium to…”

“Little people words, Widdle,” the rogue interrupted, her tone playfully loving.

“Right. It’ll destroy the armor. He’ll be powerless.”

“My friends,” said the Chevalier, shaking his head in gratitude. “I cannot thank you enough.”

“We were happy to help,” said Ick. “Just make sure Samson and Cory Pheus can’t use that red lyrium to harm any more people.”

“I will, I swear it. And when I am through with General Samson and the red lyrium, I will go to Crestwood and present myself to Hawke as you have asked. You have my word.”

He left with all possible haste, leaving the six standing there. It was the rogue who broke the silence.

“So, are we going home now?” she asked. “Is your quest over?”

“Not quite,” Ick said. “We still have a few things left to do. But overall, it looks like things are finally starting to go right.”

“Indeed,” said Dodo. “But for now, let’s have a drink and stay the night. We can make the trek back to Nightingale’s little haven in the morning.”

“I think that sounds like a fine idea, my glittering friend,” said Ick. And so the group took up residence in the tavern for a relaxing evening of stories amongst new friends.

“We appear to be coming to a storybook conclusion,” said Dodo as everyone enjoyed the day. “I’m sure the Princess of Skyhold is due to give birth to her child any day now – we can go enjoy that celebration and then you can pay a visit to the lovely Princess Sunshine if you like,” he added teasingly. Ick pointedly ignored him.

However, nothing was ever that easy.

 

The next day, as the six made their way back to where Nightingale resided, they started to suspect things were wrong almost immediately. The peaceful clearing that normally rang with the woman’s pleasant singing was eerily silent and felt as if it had been disturbed. They were just about to postulate what had occurred when Thom and Little Golden Hood came pelting out of the bushes.

“Oh, thank the Maker we found you!” Little Golden Hood exclaimed. Her eyes were wide and next to her, Thom looked pale and terrified. “You must come quickly!”

Alarmed, they all followed them into the clearing, where the same silence that permeated the woods was present in the air all around the little establishment. In the middle of the empty grove sat Nightingale, her face buried in her hands.

“Nightingale?!” Ick exclaimed. “What’s happened? Where are the kids?”

She looked up, her blue eyes wet with sorrow and rage. She parted her lips to speak and no sound came out.

“She’s been cursed,” Thom explained, his tone thick with emotions twin to those that flashed in Nightingale’s eyes. “Her voice is gone, stolen from her. And the children... the children were taken.”

There were cries of alarm from all those present. “Maker preserve us!” the Seeker cried, while next to her, the rogue flexed her grip on her bow.

“Oh, whoever did this is getting arrows for sure! I’ll _run out_ of arrows making them pay, I swear it!” she snarled.

“But how?” Ick asked. “Golden Hood, what about the amulet you fetched?”

“It didn’t work!” she wailed. “All that time spent searching and it didn’t protect them! He took them anyway.”

Dodo’s eyes went wide. “Surely... surely you aren’t saying...?”

Thom shook his head showing he didn’t know, but Nightingale stood and her gaze swept the assembly. Although she could not speak the name, her lips shaped it plainly, sending a shiver through the heroes.

_The Elder One. Cory Pheus._

* * *

**_Part Ten – Dodo and Ick Save the Day_ **

The group was off at once, Thom and Nightingale arming themselves so as to join the fray. They tried to convince Little Golden Hood to stay behind, but she would not be swayed.

“This Cory Pheus left a trail,” said the arcanist as they observed the clearing. “Not one you can see, but a magical one like would be left over from some sort of artifact. We can follow it, I think.”

“Maybe he used this artifact to steal your voice, my lady,” said Ick, placing a hand on Nightingale’s shoulder. She nodded, her cheek twitching.

They set off at once, following the trail as best they could. Desperate as she was to track down Cory Pheus and her missing wards, Nightingale still forced the group to stop and rest, lest they exhaust themselves. Thus, eventually they were found by the Chevalier who, having successfully defeated General Samson and destroyed the red lyrium in the Emprise, had been speeding towards Crestwood. When they updated him, he was livid.

“You will have the strength of my sword arm, friends,” he assured them. “This wretched man _will_ be brought to heel!”

And so onward they traveled, all ten of them following the trail with determination and bravery. At last, the arcanist gestured to a tree. “It looks as though the magical trail ends here. Maybe we can…”

“Not. So. Fast,” cut in a cold, haughty voice.

From the shadows, a man appeared, twirling a mage staff. He had a slimy, ill-mannered look about him and a wickedness to his eyes. At once, Thom, the Seeker, and the Chevalier had drawn their weapons while Nightingale and the rogue raised their bows and Ser Non unsheathed his knives. Thom stepped in front of Little Golden Hood and the arcanist to protect them.

“Who are you?” demanded Dodo in a tone of bravado he did not truly possess given the circumstances. “A hireling of Cory Pheus?”

“No, countryman,” answered the mage. “I am the sorcerer called Erimond. You were all very brave to come so far to confront my master, but you are too late. You will all bow before him.”

“Unlikely,” snarled the Seeker. “You are but one man, and our numbers are greater than yours.”

“You underestimate my power, Seeker of Truth.” Seeing her surprise, Erimond chuckled. “Oh, yes, I have heard of you. I have heard of _all_ of you, as has my master. He knows your strengths...” His gaze raked Ick, causing him to shiver. “And your weaknesses.”

Dodo, seeing the look, stepped forward at once. “If you want my friends, you shall have to go through me,” he declared, putting himself in between Ick and Erimond.

Erimond, however, was unmoved. “Very well. That will not be a hardship.”

He lifted his staff to hex Dodo, but before anyone else could respond or react, a green blur pelted from a nearby plant in a mighty leap, jumping in between Dodo and the spell. The spell that had been meant for Dodo felled the Iron Knight instead, and he dropped to the ground like a stone.

“No!” cried Dodo, stooping to pick up the frog as his friends easily dispatched Erimond. “Ser Knight... you’re injured!”

“Nah, it’s only a flesh wound,” said the bullfrog, croaking weakly. “I’ve had worse.”

Dodo shook his head. “Why... why did you do that for me when I was nothing but cold to you earlier?”

“You’re a good guy. Deep down, you care – I can tell. Didn’t want to see you come to a bad end. Besides, this is what brave knights do – they defend people, even when said knight is a frog.” He gave a noise that sounded almost like a strangled chuckle.

“Please don’t die now, Ser Knight,” Dodo pleaded. “We still... we still need to find a cure for your curse.”

“It’s okay. Knight or bullfrog, this isn’t a bad way to go out. Don’t worry about me, Dodo. Go help your friends.”

“They have everything well in hand. I’m not going anywhere.” He held the bullfrog, watching with some sadness as the bulbous eyes closed. If nothing else, at least he seemed content. Impulsively, Dodo lifted his hands and pressed a kiss to the frog’s head.

To say what occurred next was a surprise to Dodo was the understatement of the age.

Almost immediately, a great light spread around the scene, engulfing Dodo and the bullfrog until it was nearly blinding. Then, after a moment of confused blinking, Dodo realized that there was no longer a frog in his hands, but that standing before him was a bearded man with enough muscles for a small army. The man chuckled while Dodo took a surprised step back. Behind them, their allies left the defeated Erimond to be watched over by Thom and the rogue and approached the scene.

“Well,” said Ick, looking supremely amused. “The Iron Knight, I presume.”

“The one and only,” said the knight, bowing low. “And finally not a frog. Good – hopping everywhere was getting tedious.”

Dodo, meanwhile, was still blinking in bewilderment. “I… I don’t understand. How did you break the spell?”

“I’m starting to suspect _I_ didn’t,” said the Iron Knight. “I think this one was all you, _kadan._ ”

“Wait... I think I’ve heard of this spell.” The Seeker rushed forward, her eyes gleaming. “It’s broken by true love’s kiss!”

“Well what do you know?” said Ick as Dodo blushed underneath his tanned skin. “Looks like you’re more versed in frog magic than you thought, my splendiferous friend.”

“Looks like it.” The Iron Knight laughed a deep booming laugh and Dodo, forgetting his embarrassment, laughed too.

“This is cute, yeah?” called the rogue, “But what do we do with this giant bag of hammers?” She gestured to her prisoner. “Whatever it is, I hope it involves arrows.”

“Your petty justice means nothing to me!” Erimond spat. For someone on the ground with half a dozen weapons aimed at him, he wore the smirk of a victorious man. “Celebrate while you can, for the Elder One is coming and he will be obeyed!”

“Pfft, right. _Blah, blah, blah, obey me, arrow in my face_ ,” the rogue mocked him.

Thom chuckled. “What do you think, should we transfer this miserable worm to the King and Queen of Ferelden for judgement? Or should we let the rogue have some target practice?”

But whatever they were going to say next collectively died on their lips as a shadow fell upon them and a voice boomed.

“ _Enough_.”

This voice was the same one that had emanated from the memory crystal. Cory Pheus’s voice. The man in question was a towering figure, face contorted into a permanent sneer of contempt and rage. As he stepped into the light, the shadows cloaked him like a garment and in his spindly fingers he clutched a dark orb.

“That orb!” Dodo cried. “How did you get it?”

“It was given to me by the Dread Wolf,” said Cory Pheus. “And now with it, I will cause chaos throughout the realms. I am alone in my glory.” He cackled maniacally, holding the glowing orb aloft. “Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Cory Pheus! You will kneel.”

“Someone sure likes the sound of his own voice,” the rogue scoffed, lifting her bow.

“You talk too much, monster,” spat Ser Non, likewise brandishing his weapons.

The heroes charged forward, but Cory Pheus knocked them aside with a blast of magic, cackling again. “Let it end here!” he cried. “Let the skies boil! Let the world be rent asunder.”

They watched helplessly as their foe began whatever strange ritual he had planned... but much to their shock, Cory Pheus’s maniacal glee soon turned to a shock of his own as the magic went haywire. The orb, it seemed, was too much for him and as his eyes widened in horror, they watched as the orb exploded in his grasp and he disappeared in a bolt of green magic. With no one to hold it, the orb fell to the ground and shattered, its last bits of magic sparking as they dissipated. Behind them, Nightingale coughed a bit as her voice returned to her, free from the confines of the magical artifact.

“What... what was his plan exactly?” she asked, perhaps just to test that she could truly speak again. “Chaos for the sake of chaos? Why do these things?”

“I suspect he did it in the name of my homeland’s former glory,” said Dodo, shaking his head. “When I get back home, I think I shall have to have a very stern chat with them all.”

“But we won?” asked the rogue. “It’s over? We can find Miss Nightingale’s other kids and go home and have a drink, right? Big heroes, us.”

“It looks like it,” said Nightingale. “I just pray they’re all unharmed.” She cleared her throat, humming experimentally, then started to sing. One by one, her frightened wards came back to her from where Cory Pheus had been hiding them and their terror turned to joy as they found her.

“Well, look at that,” said Ick, glancing at Dodo. “How’s that for a job well done?”

Before Dodo could answer, however, Erimond began to laugh. He had been all but forgotten when Cory Pheus appeared, but now he was hauled roughly to his feet.

“Your master is dead,” said the Chevalier. “And you will face justice. Why do you laugh?”

“You fools!” the sorcerer cried. “You pathetic fools. You have not won! My master knew your weaknesses, you will recall, and he sowed one final act of chaos you can never undo. You’re too late to save your precious Sunshine.” His gaze was squarely on Ick, who immediately blanched.

“What are you talking about?” Ick demanded, and there was a current of fear in his voice. “What did you do to her?!”

“ _I_ did nothing,” Erimond replied. “This is my master’s handiwork. His red lyrium and its slow corruption will soon take hold.”

Ick looked ready to collapse and Dodo reached out an arm to steady him. “How?” he asked, as Ick seemed unable to speak. “How did Cory Pheus get past her bodyguards?”

“He merely disguised himself as a Warden,” said Erimond. “Pretended to be the seventh bodyguard you had sent. You _failed_ her.”

“You sure I can’t use him for target practice?” the rogue snarled, drawing her bowstring.

“Maker and Andraste preserve us!” Little Golden Hood’s eyes were wide. “How horrible!”

But Ick barely heard any of them. He was already off running through the trees in the direction of the Crestwood, Dodo calling his name as he chased after him.

 

The peaceful clearing which housed Hawke’s little shelter had fallen silent by the time they arrived. There was no bird song, no breeze rustling through the trees, only a muffled sound like quiet weeping. Ick ran through the glade to where he and Princess Sunshine had walked that day and almost immediately, his heart fell.

Laid out on a bed of flowers was the Princess Sunshine, her eyes shut as though she were just asleep, her hands folded pristinely. Her bodyguards were clustered around in various states of shocked mourning. Daisy was sobbing, her shaking form supported by Rivaini, who looked uncharacteristically tragic. On the other side of the bier, Choirboy was praying ceaselessly. The redheaded woman looked both desperately sad and furiously angry, a look shared by Hawke, who was being held by Broody as she cried.

“No. Oh, no,” Ick moaned. Erimond had been telling the truth. He supposed there was a small part of him that thought the sorcerer was lying.

Hawke looked up at the sound of his voice. “Ick. Dodo. We don’t know how this happened. But she’s… she’s gone.”

Dodo explained the situation as best as he could, his own voice choked. “We are very sorry we couldn’t find her seventh bodyguard.”

Hawke shook her head. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Maybe there is no seventh bodyguard. Maybe… maybe this is just what was meant to happen.”

As Dodo spoke, Ick had approached the place where Sunshine lay, the bodyguards moving out of his way so he could crouch down by her side. “Oh, Sunshine,” he said sadly. “If only I had been here to help. If only I had been here to… to tell you that, however briefly we knew each other, you made me feel sunny too. I’m sorry.” He leaned in and, timidly, pressed a shy kiss to her lips.

At once, the color came back to Sunshine’s cheeks and she took a shaky breath. Everyone in the clearing gasped. “S-Sunshine?” Ick stammered, watching with mingled shock as the brown eyes opened.

“Ick.” She smiled. “My hero, once again.”

“But… but I don’t understand,” he said, looking around in perplexity. The other heroes were beginning to gather as well and the story of what had just happened was repeated to them by the shocked bodyguards. “What… ?”

“It’s like the spell Dodo broke, I think,” said the Iron Knight. “What was that about true love’s kiss again?” Behind him, the Seeker, Nightingale, and Little Golden Hood all squealed, as did Daisy, her tears forgotten.

“Sister!” Hawke cried, falling to her knees in order to hug Sunshine to her chest. She smiled at her sister in euphoria, stroking the pale cheeks. Then, she turned to Ick, her mouth slightly open in shock. “It’s you. You’re the seventh bodyguard. It’s been you the whole time!”

“Now why am I not surprised by that?” said Dodo, grinning.

“That does make sense,” said Choirboy, likewise smiling. “And you broke the princess’s curse with a kiss.”

“Me?” Ick still looked surprised, and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “But... but what about all these brave warriors? The Seeker or Ser Non or Champion or the Iron Knight? Or the rogue? Or Nightingale? I’m not a bodyguard or a hero, I’m just a storyteller.”

“Maybe you don’t have to be just any hero,” said Sunshine, sitting up. “Maybe you just have to be _my_ hero. That’s better than perfect.”

She smiled a bright smile and that was enough for Ick, who smiled back incredulously. “Milady Sunshine, I am more than happy to be your hero. Always.”

She laughed merrily and, her strength returned to her, tugged at his shoulders in order to pull him down for another kiss. The entire crowd erupted into applause. When at last they broke apart, Ick blinked, looking as dazed as if he had looked into the sun for too long. “I guess that’s why they call you Sunshine,” he said, smiling as she laughed again.

“Well done, my hirsute little friend,” said Dodo, patting Ick’s back. “So it turns out we were right – something bigger and more important was awaiting us here in Ferelden. And I think I’ve come to realize something too.”

“I suspect I know where your mind is, my shiny friend,” said Ick. “Come on, let’s get to Skyhold. We have one more stop in this epic quest.”

 

By the time the merry band arrived in Skyhold, there was a minor uproar in progress. They hurried into the courtyard to find one of the guards, a short woman with a sea of freckles. “Excuse me,” said Ick. “What’s going on? Is it the Rainbow Princess?”

The guard nodded. “Mmhmm. The healers are with her now, preparing for the arrival of her child.”

“Then we haven’t missed it!” said Dodo. “We need to get inside.”

“Oh, no, I’m afraid that’s impossible. There are-”

Suddenly a voice cut in, the royal couple’s son appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “Dodo! Ick! You came back! Have you found the Fairy Godmother my parents needed?”

“Yes and no,” said Dodo, patting the boy’s head. “Can we come inside?”

“Of course.” He nodded to the guard, showing her it was all right. “Follow me!”

He led the entire group into the castle where, in short order, they found the Sun Prince practically pacing a hole in the floor. He turned at the sound of footsteps and his eyes widened.

“Hello, Father!” his son called. “I found our friends. And some other friends.” He gestured to the large party, all of whom bowed their heads respectfully. “They’re here to help.”

“Oh, thank the Maker!” said the Sun Prince, hurrying forward. He was pale with nervousness, his eyes betraying a bit of fear as he waited for news of his beloved’s safe delivery.

“Is everything all right, Your Highness?” Ick asked in some concern.

“Yes. I think. They’ve been at it for hours with no news. I suspect everything is fine, but I’m…” He swallowed hard. “I’m so worried about her.”

“It will be fine, Your Highness,” Dodo assured him, leading him over to a chair and urging him to sit. “All will be well.”

The Prince nodded weakly. “Thank you. And thank you for returning. Were you able to find a Fairy Godmother for my child?”

“That is a long story, Your Highness. Allow me to tell it while we wait.”

And so the entire assemblage of heroes crowded together in the corridor as Dodo and Ick told the story of their adventure, each hero adding an aside here or there while the Prince listened in wonderment. By the time the tale had concluded, one of the healers came out and smiled at the Prince, who was suddenly on his feet again. “Your Highness, your wife is fine, and the baby is healthy. You can come and meet your daughter now.”

He dashed off at once, his son at his heels, as the heroes cheered and clapped. After a few minutes, he reemerged, wearing a blissful grin. “Dodo, Ick. Come with me.”

The two wanderers followed him into the Rainbow Princess’s chamber, where she sat cradling her newborn.

“My friends,” she said, her voice both exhausted and euphoric. “You returned just in time.”

“My lady, she is beautiful,” said Dodo, smiling. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” She beamed. “Oh, were you able to find a Fairy Godmother?”

“No, my lady.” Dodo shook his head. “I don’t believe a Fairy Godmother for your child exists. However… I suspect that a Fairy God _father_ does. And I believe _I_ am that Fairy Godfather.”

The Prince and Princess absorbed that, exchanging a look. Then, they both smiled. “Yes,” said the Princess warmly, “yes, I think you could be.” Still smiling, she beckoned him over and allowed him to hold the baby.

“Oh.” Dodo was slightly surprised, but chuckled as he watched the baby sleep. “Well, hello there, little princess. I believe I am your new Fairy Godfather. It’s a pleasure to meet you, little one.”

The baby murmured in her sleep. Then, she opened her eyes and reached out to touch Dodo’s face with her tiny hands. He smiled in delight, a look her parents and her brother shared.

“She likes you!” said the boy. “It’s good!”

“It looks like I’ve made a friend,” Dodo said, stroking the baby’s cheek.

“Several friends.” Ick laughed, gesturing around the room and at the doorway where the other heroes eagerly peered over one another’s heads. “Remember when we said we didn’t know what awaited us across the sea? Well, now we know.”

“Indeed,” said Dodo. Glancing at the royal couple’s son with a smile, he added, “And it’s good.”

 

* * *

**_Epilogue – Happily Ever After_ **

The Sun Prince did not forget his promise to Dodo and Ick that they would be handsomely rewarded for their success, and that promise extended to all those who had helped aid the party. The gates of Skyhold were opened to them all.

Nightingale, having to worry no longer about the threat of Cory Pheus, consented enthusiastically when the royal couple invited her to bring her wards to the castle. It was agreed that the children would be schooled there and that she, Thom, and Little Golden Hood would continue looking after them. It was decided that an area underneath the school would become the domain of the arcanist (much to her delight) while the rogue could set up targets in the yard and practice to her heart’s content. Thom also wasted no time in scouring the nearby hills for flowers to pick for Golden Hood, who decorated her new office with them. The Chevalier likewise agreed to stay, to help protect the children and make sure no harm would come to them ever again. The Iron Knight stayed too, both to help the children and to spend time with his _kadan._

Meanwhile, the villainous Erimond was turned over to King Alistair and Queen Elissa and promptly handed over to the Grey Wardens of Orlais, who saw to it he was banished into the wastelands beyond Orlais’s borders. A short while later, they also received word that Calpernia had returned to her homeland to begin reforms and thanked the heroes for their help.

But most importantly, Skyhold played host to several remarkable events, starting with the nameday ceremony of the Prince and Princess’s daughter. Shortly thereafter, Dodo was named the official Fairy Godfather to the new baby and the baby’s mother, which was followed by a spectacular double wedding as both Ser Non and the Seeker were wed immediately following the nuptials for Ick and Princess Sunshine. The castle had never seen a more joyous time, save for maybe when the Sun Prince and Rainbow Princess had been wed.

“So what do you think, Sunshine?” Ick asked as the celebrations finally wound down. “Do you think your sister and your other bodyguards will want to return to Kirkwall to reclaim your throne?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe, maybe not. I’m starting to think I’m not cut out for this princess life. It’s a bit tiring. Besides, there are better people to rule our homeland, I think.”

“Well, no matter what you decide, you’ll always be a princess to me, Milady Sunshine.” He smiled.

“And you will always be my prince,” she promised, and kissed him.

“Isn’t that a pretty picture?” said Dodo, drifting over to join Ick as Sunshine went to talk to Daisy. “So what do you think, my good man, will they all live happily ever after?”

“You know what, my sparkling friend?” said Ick, grinning. “I think they just might.”


	9. No One Expects the Skyhold Quizquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the last day of the Skyhold Academy reunion. The teachers and their guests participate in the Quizquisition, then later baby Skye picks her favorite Skyhold Academy gentleman. Join us for songs, cake, quizzes, and poorly made wind sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although there are still more chapters in the story itself, this particular chapter marks an end to the three-part (four parts if you count "The Adventures of Dodo and Ick") Skyhold Academy reunion extravaganza. I sincerely hope you all had fun with it and that you enjoyed your cameos! I can't thank you enough for your willingness to participate and your enthusiasm, as well as your continued support for the series. You guys rock!
> 
> Now, in this chapter we bring in another cameo from the game in the form of an extremely minor character you can find around Skyhold. If you have not had the pleasure of experiencing the Quizquisition, do yourself a favor and watch this video because it's nothing short of hilarious. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O288LSVD0w&t=9s] We hope you... enjoy! *poorly made wind sounds*

* * *

**No One Expects the Skyhold Quizquisition**

* * *

Before anyone knew it, the third and final day of the reunion was upon them, promising food and songs in true Skyhold fashion - not to mention the Quizquisition and the planned “Uncle Off” among Skye’s very amused uncles. Thus, although no one was eager to see the alumni and the guests go, the excitement for the day’s events was enough to stave off the thought of it coming to an end.

The Redcliffe DJ arrived that morning and he was… an interesting figure to say the least. He looked like this was the first time anyone had lured him out of his recording studio in the better part of a year and he had a flair for drama that made more than one person comment he was wasted on the radio and should have been a stage actor.

As Josephine took him to get him settled, the teachers came together to try to confirm their team. “All right,” said Dorian, “so we have myself, Varric, and Cullen so far. I figure between the three of us, we can easily cover the sections on history, literature, and the arts. Any other volunteers we can lure into this glorious nonsense? Perhaps you, Solas? You’d be invaluable in the science category.”

The science teacher considered this. “Hmm, I’ll have to check the schedule. I promised some of my students I would moderate a little Tetris tournament they’ve set up. But if the two don’t overlap, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Marvelous. I hope the rest of you will consider it too. Perhaps Ms. Montilyet can bribe you all with the promise of whatever prizes she’s managed to come up with. Just as long as we have your answer by lunchtime.”

“What about the missus, Curly?” Varric asked. “We don’t want to be too testosterone-laden here, after all. Or will she be too busy wrangling the Curly-Cloud?”

“One of my sisters might be willing to take Skye long enough for Evvy to participate if she would like - it’s usually never difficult to convince them to put in some facetime with their niece, after all.” He chuckled. “One of the other teams is going to be some of the guests, isn’t that right? She might be going up against Non _and_ Nat if that’s the case. Bragging rights might sweeten the deal.”

“Good point. Speaking of which, have the terms of this alleged ‘uncle-off’ been determined yet?”

“Not quite,” said Dorian. “We’re still trying to determine what exactly we’re going to do to prove our superiority. I’m sure I’ll rise to whatever the occasion may be.” He grinned teasingly. “Are you going to be competing too, Varric?”

“Probably not. That’s not really a question I need answered.” Varric shrugged. “I’m the whiskey uncle, that’s good enough for me.”

“Fair enough. But at any rate, we’re open to suggestions on what to do.”

“I can see you all having a talent competition of sorts,” said Cassandra dryly. “Like the talent show we had for the students last summer.”

“Hey, that’s an idea, General.” Varric grinned. “At least two of those four do like showboating, maybe we could have a singing contest. See whose performance the kid likes best.”

“Somehow I have trouble picturing my brother - or my brother-in-law – singing in public,” said Cullen with a laugh. “But perhaps they’ll surprise me. We can at least run it by them. I’m not exactly sure how this is supposed to help determine which of you is my daughter’s favorite uncle, but it’s sure to be entertaining.”

“I don’t understand it either,” said Evvy, joining them in time to hear the remark. Mahanon and Nathaniel were with her, Nat taking a turn carrying his niece. “What did you all decide?”

“Hello, darling.” Cullen smiled, extending his hand to his wife. “You’re going to laugh, but it’s been suggested that the uncles could potentially do a sing-off.”

“Oh, dear. Well, I know Non and Dorian are game, but what about you, Nat? I can’t remember the last time I heard you sing.”

“Maker, it has been a while.” He laughed. “But in the spirit of all this glorious nonsense, I’m in.”

“What about Branson?” she asked.

“I’ll text him,” said Cullen. “We may need to bribe him with something to get him to agree,” he laughed, “but he probably will agree in the end.”

“I’ll have to dig out the karaoke machine at some point then,” said a very amused Leliana.

“Good thing we actually bought the setup for the school instead of renting it all the time,” Varric remarked. “What does the winner get, anyway? Besides Skye’s endless adoration.”

“I have little cakes,” Josie offered with a laugh. “They’re going to be the prize for the quiz show, but I think I can spare a few.”

“Little cakes? How are you going to keep them away from Cullen and Solas?” Evvy returned with a laugh of her own.

“I feel like we’re missing out, Cullen,” said Solas dryly.

“Indeed,” the history professor returned. “I think I can control myself, though.”

“We do have a couple of big cakes coming for after the Quizquisition, too,” Leliana promised. “So the winner can have the little ones.”

“I think that sounds fair,” said Cullen. “Oh, speaking of which - Ev, my love, we’re still trying assemble a Skyhold team. Do you want to join in or would you prefer to stay with Skye?”

“Decisions, decisions,” she mused. “How many people do you need?”

“Six, ideally, to cover the categories. And also because our participating alumni split into two teams of six exactly. So far we have three people - me, Dorian, and Varric. Solas may join if he isn’t busy with other things.”

“Have you asked Hawke?” she inquired. “Or maybe Felix would enjoy it. I’m willing to help out of course, but I’m trying to think of who else would be good in the game.”

“Well if you still need another person when the dust clears, I’d be happy to give it a shot,” said Harding, who had been silent up to that point. “I mean, I haven’t been on a quiz bowl team since college, but I could certainly try.”

“Good, we have a tidy little roster then,” said Dorian. “I do admit I’m curious as to just who among the guests are going to participate. I can’t imagine Madam de Fer voluntarily joining a team that also features Lady Morrigan and vice versa.”

“I have a feeling the First Lady is probably going to volunteer,” Josephine remarked. “What about you, gentlemen?” She directed the question at Nat and Mahanon.

“Of course,” said Non. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Nathaniel nodded. “Ditto.”

“Well, now I guess I definitely have to participate,” Evvy said with a laugh.

“I knew that prospect would probably sway you,” said her husband, likewise laughing.

“You know me well.” She kissed his cheek. “And now if you’ll all excuse me, I’ll take back my daughter and go give her a bath. Let me know what you need me to do for this Quizquisition thing.”

“We will, darling. On that note, I should probably also text my brother and see if I can convince him to sing something.”

“Yes, do let me know what he says. I’m curious to see if singing runs in the family.” Laughing, she collected Skye from Nat and headed back to their apartment.

“Does it run in the family?” Nat asked Cullen, curious.

Cullen considered this. “Well… yes, as a matter of fact, I suppose it does. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve heard my brother sing, but he is good at it. Rutherford family talent, it seems.”

“This uncle competition is going to be _good_.” Nat chuckled. “Fred doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“We can always Skype him and have him contribute _in absentia_ ,” Dorian suggested, likewise laughing. “But if nothing else, we’ll certainly film it and he can at least see it later. The little princess is going to grow up, see that video one day, and assume all her uncles were mad.”

“I’m not convinced her mother doesn’t already think the same thing,” Varric noted with a laugh. “But that’s all right. Skyhold runs on nonsensoleum, to use a phrase from the internet.”

“That is spot on actually,” Cassandra admitted, chuckling herself. “I think this weekend has proven that. But it’s been marvelous, and this all just seems like the perfect way to round it out.”

“Who’s going to be participating from the alumni?” asked Harding.

“Daniel and Barris at the very least,” said Cassandra. “It’s my understand they’re going to be leading the two teams - sort of a friendly rematch of the potato sack race from yesterday.” She chuckled again.

“You know, technically, Krem could be on either the staff team or the alumni team,” Varric mused. “Sparkler, you know if he’s interested?”

“I’m not certain, but we could ask. Or, if we really want him for our team, I can enlist Rory to ask nicely.”

There was a general laugh. “A few more months and she’d qualify for the alumni team herself,” Josephine noted. “Then we’d definitely lose him from the staff team. No matter; I think we have it covered. I’ll go ask Harritt to pull the karaoke equipment out of storage, and you can have your competition this evening.”

“Excellent.” Dorian nodded. “In the meantime, I suppose we should brush up on our trivia, shouldn’t we? How is the disc jockey settling in? I’m surprised you were able to get him here on such short notice.”

“I work miracles, Dorian,” she teased him. “Ser Trifles Minutiae - that is his professional handle, of course, no sane parent would truly give their child such a name - is a most colorful character. He’s quite popular on the local radio station and I’ve helped him a time or two in the past with station fundraising. When I told him he could meet the President himself, he was delighted to be here.”

“You really do work miracles, Josie,” Leliana complimented with a chuckle. “Well, I know several of the students are very excited to have an actual radio host here for this, so I’m sure it will be quite lively indeed.”

“This is Skyhold. ‘Lively’ is rarely a sufficient description,” Josephine replied with a laugh.

“It can serve as a euphemism for ‘full of squee,’” noted Dorian, grinning.

* * *

In the late afternoon, on the heels of the Tetris battle royale, the teams for the trivia contest assembled in the great hall. Trifles Minutiae was shuffling the cards containing the questions. As the setup lacked any sort of buzzer system, he would instead pose the questions to the individual teams in clockwise rotation, with incorrect answers giving the next team a chance to steal. Whichever team had the most points once all the questions were answered would win the fabulous array of tiny cakes as well as considerable bragging rights.

As stated, there were four teams - the Skyhold team, the guest team, and the two alumni teams headed by Barris and Daniel respectively, who shook hands cheerfully before taking a seat. The Skyhold team “captain” was Cullen, who couldn’t help but chuckle as they grouped together.

“I’m remembering a line you had me say in your spoof of ‘The Princess Bride,’ Varric,” he said, amused. “ _I am no one you want as an opponent in a trivia match or a chess game._ Let’s see if I can live up to that expectation.”

Varric chuckled approvingly. “Between you and Solas alone, I’d say we stand a good chance of not disgracing the school.”

“Don’t let them fool you,” said Dorian as he joined the group. “They’re both just in it for the cakes.”

“By the way, Curly, is the missus joining us?” Varric inquired.

“I think we managed to convince her,” Cullen reported. “She should be joining us any second while Auntie Mia and Auntie Rosalie fight over who gets to take of Skye in the meantime.” He laughed.

“Who’s our sixth, then? Harding or Felix?”

As if on cue, both Felix and Harding drifted into view a moment later. Harding, having heard the question, gestured to Felix. “I’ve been drafted into keeping score,” she said, “but I managed to find a replacement.”

Felix gave them a playful salute, grinning as he did so. “Reporting for duty. This is going to be fun.”

“That it will.” Varric looked around at the other teams. The alumni were all chattering animatedly, while the university professors on the guest team seemed mostly amused. Kenric was captaining the guests; he was joined by Fairbanks, Frederic, Mahanon, Evvy’s brother Nathaniel, and the First Lady. As Varric watched, Kenric caught Harding’s eye and gave a little wave of greeting.

She smiled and returned the wave broadly. “Good luck, Professor,” she called. “Or should I say _Captain_.”

“Either will do, Lady Harding.”

Varric turned to see Dorian also watching. “You thinking what I’m thinking, Sparkler?” he murmured.

“Oh, absolutely.” He chuckled quietly. “I just wonder what their ‘pairing name’ will be if the students discover this new ‘ship.’”

“Don’t know. I don’t think they ever gave Sunshine and me one - though I hear tell they call you and the coach ‘Adoribull.’”

He gave an entirely unconvincing groan. “Yes, yes, very clever.”

“I won’t tell anybody,” Varric promised, amused. “Oh, here comes that Trifles guy.”

Sure enough, “Trifles Minutiae” was sauntering in dramatically, surveying the audience and the four assembled teams. After a moment, he held his hands up for silence. “Skyhold Academy and guests…” he began. “You have done much this weekend. But have you the stomach for… the Quizquisition?”

Out in the audience, Jim was grinning. “This is the best day _ever_.” Beside him, Nessa merely groaned.

There was a general murmur of approval. “Have you ever listened to this guy’s show?” Varric muttered to his teammates. “He’s... colorful.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure,” said Dorian, looking slightly dubious. “How does he have a following, honestly?”

“Maybe he has more appeal for the younger crowd. The kids seem like they’re happy to have him here.”

Sure enough, the students seemed to be enjoying his over-the-top theatrics. Dorian merely shrugged. “I would have hoped our students had better taste, but as long as they’re happy, who am I to argue?”

“You saw them in the school play. They love anything ridiculous.” Varric watched as Trifles made whooshing wind sounds - poorly - with his mouth. “And this definitely qualifies.”

“Quite.” Dorian agreed, lifting an eyebrow.

Trifles shook his head. “Apologies, I usually have a sound effects board when I do this. I’m doing the best with the circumstances.” He cleared his throat. “Regardless, the Quizquisition... begins...  _now_.”

The first question was all too easy for the Skyhold teacher team, given that Varric was native to Kirkwall. The extermination of the common nug was known as ‘the Battle of the Squealing Plains.’ “And may I add, it’s never mentioned in polite company,” he said after giving the answer.

“Correct,” trilled their host as the other teachers who were watching in the audience clapped. “Well played.”

After the first round of questions, the score was tied among all the teams. It seemed that the questions had started off easy and were getting slightly more difficult as things went on. Anyone watching Jim’s expression as he sat mesmerized by the proceedings could probably guess which questions he was responsible for writing.

“Next question to the guest team - in the history category,” said Trifles, reading a card. “What was the name of Emperor Florian’s infant daughter who perished during the Hundred Days’ Cough?”

“Oh.” Kenric was rubbing his temples. “I know this… it’s on the tip of my tongue… something with an ‘E’, but there were two ‘E’ names in the family, weren’t there?” On the Skyhold team, Cullen had shifted his hand over his mouth to hide the fact that he was smirking a little.

“E... E...” Fairbanks seemed faintly annoyed. “Why isn’t it ringing a bell?” He glanced around the room as though hunting for inspiration, then did a double take at the sight of Evvy. “Oh, Maker’s breath! Evangeline!”

“Is that your _final_ answer?” Trifles asked ominously.

“Uh... yes.”

“Correct!”

Cullen sighed. “I was so hoping that one would come to us. Oh, well.”

Evvy merely laughed. “If I’d known that was a question, I would have tried to hide,” she said. “I wonder if that little princess was named after the same song I was. It is rather old.”

“It’s certainly possible,” said Cullen. “It might be documented in a family history or personal diary. Perhaps Kenric would know better, given he probably has better access to Orlesian documents than I do. I’ll have to ask him later.”

Skyhold’s next turn ended up being a mathematical problem, which Felix - who had actually majored in the subject at the University of Orlais, while minoring in his more creative love of photography and filmography - solved quickly. “Bravo, Felix!” Frederic called from across the room. “He always was a sharp one.”

Felix looked pleased. “Thank you, Professor, I appreciate that. Nice to put my mathematical skills to good use from time to time.” He chuckled.

“Don’t let his brilliant mind go to waste,” said Fairbanks with a grin. “By the way, Ser Trifles, I seem to have lost track. Could you give us a rundown of the current score?”

“There has been a request for the score,” said their host in his usual fashion, glancing over at where Harding had been diligently keeping tally on a chalkboard. “The score is as follows - the Skyhold team has 27 points, the guest team has 26 points, the alumni team headed by Master Barris has 23 points, and the alumni team headed by Master Daniel has 22 points. And… there are only three questions left for each team.” He waved his fingers, a gesture which was accompanied by more poorly made wind sounds.

The students giggled. Nessa shook her head. “You’ve listened to this guy once or twice, haven’t you? What is up with the wind sounds?” she muttered to Jim.

“His whole radio gig is freelance,” Jim explained. “Apparently he does it when he has time and ‘when the wind calls him.’ Hence the…” He mimicked the wind sound himself.

“Interesting. So meanwhile, fellow shipping enthusiast... what’s with the looks I see flying back and forth between Professor Kenric and Miss Harding?”

“I _knew_ I wasn’t just imagining that!” He chuckled. “You know, I heard she rescued him the other day from... something. I don’t know what though.”

“Hmm... you and Rory going to write fic about them?” She grinned. “Long distance relationships can be so deliciously mutually-piney.”

Jim’s lips quirked. “Watch this.” He gently elbowed Rory, who had been watching the quiz up until this point. “Hey, Rors - Ness and I were just talking about Professor Kenric and Miss Harding and how shippy they’re being. We should write a fic. A long distance letters fic.”

Rory’s eyes immediately widened. “ _Yes_. Yes, we absolutely should. I _love_ letters fics.”

“Brilliant. Put me down for beta reader.” Nessa chuckled. “You guys don’t write too much about Cullevelyan anymore, I kind of miss it.”

“I know, so many ships, so little time,” said Rory. “But hey, here’s something fun - apparently the teachers liked our noir fic so much that Professor Tethras suggested we do more. We might write a noir Cullevelyan as part of it.”

“Really?!” Nessa paused, thinking. “You know... if you do noir stories, it’s obviously _not_ about our teachers. You could just change the names of the characters and maybe publish for real, like Professor Tethras himself does!”

“The thought did cross our minds,” said Rory, shrugging. “It could work. But we have to finish them first,” she added with a laugh.

“If I don’t get to be the first reader I will be very sad. That’s all I’m saying.” Chuckling again, Nessa turned her attention back to the contest.

The next two rounds were lively - but friendly, as the entire game had been. Following a lucky steal by Barris’s alumni team, by the time they had one last round of questions to go, the scores ended up very close indeed. Barris and Daniel’s teams had 26 and 24 points respectively, while the Skyhold team and the guest team both had 28.

“There is... a tie,” said Trifles theatrically, prompting a few _oohs_ from the audience. “Each team has one more question to answer. If the tie remains after that round, we will have to ask...  _the tie-breaker question_.”

“Oh, man,” said Jim eagerly. “I _really_ hope they go to the tie-breaker. It’s such an awesome question.”

“Are we allowed even a hint, bestie?” Rory asked. “Don’t make me pout for it.”

“It’s a history question. I wanted to see who would get it out of Professors Rutherford and Kenric,” he admitted. “That’s all I’m telling you.”

“Hmm. That works. Now I’m excited too.”

Sure enough, after the final round of questions the tie between Skyhold Academy and the guests still stood. There was a louder chant of _ooh_! from the audience as both professors and guests started to chuckle.

“This is it!” Jim almost wriggled.

“The tiebreaker question,” Trifles intoned, “is in the history category. Whichever team comes up with the answer fastest will win the game. We don’t have buzzers, however, so...” He gestured to Cole, who was standing off to one side holding something, and as the boy approached the audience started to laugh when they realized he had a squeaky bicycle horn in each hand. “The first team to blare the horn and give the correct answer wins.”

Both Cullen and Kenric laughed too as Cole handed them the horns. Cullen gave it an experimental squeak, chuckling again as he did so. “Thank you, my boy.” To the rest of the team, he added playfully, “All right, wish me luck.”

“You got this, Curly,” said Varric. “And if you don’t, it’s not like we don’t get cake anyway.”

“The final question is this,” said Trifles, pausing for dramatic emphasis. “In the Black Age, Rivaini princess Asha Subira Bahadur became Queen of Antiva through her marriage to King Alonso Campana. History remembers her as the ‘Queen Mother of Thedas.’ Prior to her marriage, what was her title in Rivain?”

There was a long pause in which the audience could have heard a pin drop as both Cullen and Kenric pondered the question. Eventually, both men squeaked the horn, but Cullen was just a bit faster. “The Gana of Ayesleigh,” he said. “Before her marriage she was the Gana of Ayesleigh. There’s a marvelous chapter in _In Pursuit of Knowledge_ about Queen Asha.”

“Correct - point goes to Skyhold!” Trifles paused. “Insert raucous cheering.”

The audience didn’t need to be told twice and the Skyhold students immediately broke into thunderous applause coupled with the customary cheer of “Skyhold! Skyhold!”. The other three teams laughed and clapped for the victors as well.

“To the victors go the spoils, and so the Skyhold team receives this tray of delectable tiny cakes imported from Val Royeaux,” Trifles added, once the din had lessened. “For the other three teams, we have consolation prizes in the form of... I don’t know, something. Ms. Montilyet will take care of it.”

Everyone chuckled. “An array of gift certificates and other assorted trinkets I hope everyone will find useful,” Josie called from the audience. “Thank you all so much for your participation. I hope you had as much fun playing as we did watching.”

“It was a treat,” Professor Kenric said, as the various teams moved to shake hands with one another. “You are a worthy opponent, my dear Professor Rutherford! You must come visit the university.”

“I would enjoy that, Professor,” said Cullen, shaking Kenric’s hand. “Perhaps when my little girl is a bit bigger, I can plan a family trip to Val Royeaux and stop by the university for an afternoon.”

“Marvelous. In the meantime, your friend Professor Pavus has asked me to visit your library - the three of us should have a grand discussion, yes?”

“Oh, without a doubt.” Cullen chuckled. “I suspect they’ll probably have to come drag us out when dinnertime comes.”

“That’s why you keep me around,” said Evvy lightly. She kissed Cullen’s cheek. “I’m terribly proud of you, dear. Go on, you and Dori have fun - I’ll go see if I can get our daughter back from her aunts. Maybe Rylen and Michel can distract them long enough for me to steal her.”

“A good plan.” Cullen chuckled again, squeezing her hand. “Thank you, darling. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Evvy collected her son, who was still loitering nearby, and went in search of her daughter but first stumbled across the Partners in Crime. “Hey, you three,” she greeted them. “What did you think of that? Excellent job with the questions, Jim, Cullen told me you helped write them.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Rutherford.” Jim still looked ridiculously pleased with the whole venture. “It was a lot of fun - both the writing and the watching.”

“I’m going to try to get Skye back from her doting aunts, but I’m not sure that’s going to be easy,” said the child’s mother with a laugh. “I think tonight is the grand ‘uncle-off,’ if you were planning on watching that. My understanding is that it’s a singing competition,” she added.

“Oh, man, I wouldn’t miss that for anything!” said Rory gleefully. “Is Professor Pavus going to sing a Queen song? I bet he’s going to sing a Queen song.”

“I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t! Honestly, I’m not sure what they think this will accomplish,” Evvy admitted, “but far be it from me to deny them their amusement. Professor Tethras is declining to participate - he says he’s satisfied being the ‘whiskey uncle’ - and my brother Fred isn’t here so he can’t join the fun. Cole, do you know anything about what your uncles have planned for this?”

“They’re all going to sing something for Skye - sweet or silly, as long as she smiles. I’m not sure how they would win, but maybe making her smile is the prize.”

“That’s so cute,” said Nessa, smiling.

“Well, they may be having a competition over your sister,” said Evvy, putting an arm around her son, “but they’re every bit as fond of making you smile. You know that, right?”

Cole nodded cheerfully. “Yes, and they’re very good at it. Everyone at Skyhold is, especially you and Father and Skye.”

“That’s my boy.” She kissed his temple. “You go have fun with your friends and I’ll see you all at dinner.”

He nodded again and went off with the Partners in Crime, joining the group of alumni who were still chatting animatedly about the competition. A moment later, Dorian walked up to stand at Evvy’s side, handing her one of their tiny cake prizes. “I see your husband already collected his prize before he disappeared up to the library. If you want another, you may have to fight Solas for them.”

“One is plenty,” she assured him. “I’m watching my sugar. So, Rory is hoping that you’re going to sing a Queen song in the ‘uncle-off.’”

“Is that so? I’m going to exhaust their musical library at this rate,” he said, amused. “But I think that can be arranged.”

“Well, you’ve done ‘You’re My Best Friend,’ but that was for me, and you did ‘Somebody to Love’ at the original concert,” she replied thoughtfully. “I suppose ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ would be difficult to perform by yourself.”

“Although if anyone you knew could, who would it be?” He chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do. I could always do a reprise of one of my previous attempts. I doubt anyone will mind.”

“There’s always ‘Killer Queen,’” Evvy offered with a smile. “Just - please - don’t make it ‘Tie Your Mother Down.’”

He laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “I would never, my dear Cinderella, fear not.” Still chuckling, he kissed her cheek. “Speaking of my niece, is she still with her aunts?”

“Yes, I need to get her back. But at the same time I hesitate because they see her so rarely… I should let them have time with her while they can.”

“Well, that’s true. And it _is_ a rare opportunity in which they get to hold her without her father immediately reclaiming her.” He chuckled again.

“He’s off with Professor Kenric again. Speaking of whom, I believe they were expecting you to join them in the library.”

“Ah, yes, that they are, I should be off. If you do reclaim your daughter, give her a kiss for me and tell her that her favorite uncle promises he will come up with something to sing by the time the ‘uncle-off’ rolls around.” His lips quirked playfully.

Evvy laughed and shook her head. “I’ll tell her that Uncle Dodo has something fun up his sleeve. We’ll leave it at that. For all I know, Varric is her favorite uncle.” She winked.

“Well, now I’m insulted,” he teased. “Until later, then, dear.”

“Have fun, Dori.”

* * *

There were other assorted games and nonsense throughout the remainder of the afternoon until at last the time of the “uncle-off” arrived. While there were other things the students could partake of if they weren’t interested, quite a few of them were and they were once again chattering excitedly. Dorian, who had excused himself from the discussion in the library early in order to prepare, chuckled to the other three uncles as they waited. “Do you think we can convince our new disc jockey friend to announce us?” he laughed.

“I don’t see why not,” Mahanon mused. “This sort of thing _is_ his schtick, and I’m given to understand that Josephine did invite him to stay for dinner.”

“Nothing adds to a karaoke competition like theatricality, after all,” said the music professor. “And I assume the little princess is in the audience, yes? I should hope so, since this is for her.”

“Both niece and nephew will be in the front row, or so I’m told,” replied Branson. “I’m actually a little less certain whether their father will be there, however – he’s been tied up with Kenric since the end of the trivia contest.”

“Yes, I suspect they hardly realized I was gone,” Dorian noted. “No matter - Cullen can watch the video later. So, shall we, gentlemen?”

“If they’re ready for this much awesome, I say we give it to them,” Non said cheerfully. “At least whatever happens, I know my wife will enjoy it.”

“Yes, that she will, I’m sure,” Nat agreed, laughing.

“And I’m sure your sister will record it and send it to _your_ wife,” Non added.

“Oh, without a doubt. And my wife will probably laugh herself sick.” He chuckled.

“I have a feeling Ev is counting on that,” Non teased him. “All right, fellas, let’s go show them how it’s done.”

They trooped down to the great hall once more, where the trivia teams’ tables had been replaced by the karaoke setup. “Looks like someone already talked to the Trifles guy about announcing us,” Branson commented.

Sure enough, Trifles was standing near the karaoke machine, fiddling with the controls. When he saw the four, he stood and spread his hands. “Gentlemen,” he said with his usual flair. “Welcome to... the _Sing_ quisition.”

Branson gave him a mildly baffled, faintly unimpressed look. “...really, dude?”

Trifles shrugged slightly. “My good ser, do I come to where you work and criticize you? No.”

“Fair enough, but why that name?”

“One of the students suggested it. His reasoning was that it will annoy his friend.” He shrugged again. “After the Quizquisition, this seemed thematically appropriate.”

“Oh.” The four men looked at each other and nodded. “Jim,” they chorused.

“I know one thing,” added Dorian. “If he suggests that as the name of the choir, Miss Dasher is going to kill him.” He chuckled.

“He probably already tried it and was shot down,” Non retorted, also chuckling. “Ah well, kids will be kids.”

“Especially the Skyhold kids,” said Dorian. “Well, shall we begin then? I volunteer to go first, help break the ice.”

“Sure, that works.” Mahanon nodded. “Knock ‘em dead.”

Ser Trifles took the microphone to address the audience. “Welcome back, friends. You have seen much and had many adventures, but now… are you prepared to face... the Singquisition?”

The was a fair bit of giggling and an affirmative cheer - slightly more subdued than it might otherwise have been, obviously for the sake of little Skye. Dorian gave her a little wave as he moved to stand behind Trifles and the karaoke machine.

“Your first competitor…” Trifles interjected some more poorly made wind sounds. “Blown here by the Tevinter winds… your very own… Professor Pavus!”

Clearly amused by this introduction - and by the cheers - Dorian took the microphone with a little grin. “Some of you may recall I sang this song for my dear Cinderella’s birthday about a year and a half ago - and my, how things have changed in that time period. And so, I think a reprisal is necessary, don’t you?”

There was a general chorus of agreement. “I certainly won’t object,” Evvy called from the front row. She had Skye in her lap, earplugs carefully in place, and gave Dorian a warm smile.

With approval thus achieved, Dorian once again serenaded his best friend (and his “little princess”) with “You’re My Best Friend.” Those who hadn’t been present for his first performance cooed in delight as he did so.

Evvy helped Skye clap her tiny hands when the song ended, and the little girl giggled. “Dodo,” she crooned, beaming up at him.

He left the little stage area for a moment in order to press a kiss to the tiny blonde head. “That’s my girl,” he appraised fondly, before heading back over to the machine and passing the microphone to Branson.

Skye watched, and gave a little squeal. “Ban!” she called, waving. People around her were also squealing, mostly at how sweet the baby was.

Branson waved back with a grin then launched into his own song. When he was finished, he looked more than a little smug at the reactions from his niece and the students, before stepping out of the way for Evvy’s brother Nat to go next.

Nat, being the other biological uncle on hand, seemed to feel a little pressured to do at least as well as Branson, and it was obvious that he tried. Mahanon, however, succeeding him at the microphone, was clearly more comfortable with performing than Nat had been, and concluded with a wink for his honorary sister and niece.

There was a lot of excitement from the students, and when Non finished, Trifles lifted his hand for silence and took the microphone once more. “Splendid performances, all. But we have a very special judge today, a judge whose opinion matters more than ours…”

Evvy rose and brought Skye up to the stage. “We have a problem,” she said gravely into the microphone. “She enjoyed _all_ of her uncles’ performances. Skye seems to have declared this a four-way tie.”

The audience cooed again at that and clapped, while Dorian pretended to be scandalized - the effect of which was completely ruined, since it was coupled with a smile.

“A four-way tie,” Nat repeated, laughing. “I think I can live with that.”

“I think we all can,” Branson agreed. “Especially since each of us was planning to go on thinking we were the favorite uncle _anyway_ , am I right?”

“Most likely, yes,” Dorian said with a chuckle. “And we were able to entertain the students and our little princess. I would call that a win.”

“I’m inclined to go along with that notion,” said Non, smiling. “Plus, with any luck, I’ll be adding the little prince to the collective sometime in the near future, and then I’ll be the undisputed favorite.” He winked.

“Come, let’s go get ready for dinner and leave the man with his delusions,” Dorian said playfully. As they turned in that direction, he added, “Speaking of the little prince, have you and Cassandra had any word about the adoption?”

“We have a hearing later this month. I haven’t said much because I don’t want to jinx it,” Non admitted.

“Of course. But I’m sure everything will go well for you both,” Dorian assured him.

“I hope so. I got to visit him for a few hours the other day, and… Dorian, he wants to come home with us. I know it.”

“I don’t doubt it. Cassandra showed us the pictures she took of him when she visited you for Wintersend and the boy looks like he was made for the two of you. I could be speaking from a place of bias, of course, but I think it will be apparent to the powers that be, too.”

“From your lips to the Maker’s ears.” Non chuckled. “I’m surprised Ev hasn’t accused me of copying her, since she adopted first.”

“In a way it’s almost poetic - you and Evvy are one set of de facto adopted siblings who found Cassandra and Cullen, another set of de facto adopted siblings, and are now adopting children who really need you.”

“And Skye and Anthony will also grow up almost like adopted siblings,” Non acknowledged. “Unless they end up married or something.”

“Don’t let Cullen hear you say that,” Dorian teased as they made their way down for another evening’s informal dinner. “He’ll make that face he makes whenever anyone even suggests the idea that his baby girl will grow up one day.”

“I’m afraid he’s going to have to accept the idea that she will do that whether he likes it or not…”

Cullen and Kenric were entering at that same time, and Cullen caught a few of Mahanon’s words as they did so. “Why do I suspect that’s about me?” he said, lifting an eyebrow. “What am I going to have to accept whether I like it or not?”

“That your baby girl isn’t going to stay a baby forever.” Mahanon shrugged. “I was just saying to Dorian that Skye and Anthony will grow up together like her mother and I did, except that maybe they’d get married someday or something, and he said you wouldn’t like that.”

“Oh, I see.”

“And there’s that face I mentioned,” said Dorian, gesturing.

“What? There is no- I don’t-” Cullen protested.

“I see what you mean,” Non remarked.

“I’m not even going to ask,” said Evvy as she joined them. “Da, someone has been asking for you.” In her arms, Skye was wriggling and reaching her chubby hands toward her father, repeating his name happily.

Whatever “look” Non and Dorian had been referencing was replaced immediately as Cullen’s face lit into the bright smile he usually wore in his family’s presence. “Is that so?” he said, holding out his arms. “Have you been asking for me, darling?”

“Daaaa!”

Evvy surrendered her, laughing. “In the long run, I don’t think it matters too much who her favorite _uncle_ is,” she noted. “We all know that Cullen is her favorite, period.”

“I know, none of us got a reaction like this,” said Dorian, folding his arms over his chest and looking amused.

“Even _I_ don’t ever get a reaction like that, and I gave birth to her!” Evvy retorted with a smile.

Dorian chuckled. “Well, both of my fairy tale princesses have the same prince,” he noted. “Prince Charming is very lucky indeed.”


	10. To Letting Go and Holding On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the school reunion comes to a close, Skye's first birthday comes about, inspiring Cullen to create new memories for his children. Meanwhile, Dorian and Varric discuss the past, and Cassandra gets some exciting news for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating, darling readers, but I hope this is worth the wait! We have a lot of things going on in this chapter, but hopefully they're all enjoyable things. ;)
> 
> Indeed, this volume of Skyhold Academy Yearbook is coming to an end, with one more chapter after this one. Once "The Memory Band" comes to a close, we're going to be taking a brief hiatus - I'm taking a trip to visit LadyNorbert for a few days in the beginning of May and then shortly after I get back from that, LadyNorbert is taking a trip of her own. Neither of these things are very conducive to writing or posting chapters, but fear not! It won't be a long hiatus (if I had to guess, I'm hoping we'll be back with more Skyhold shenanigans sometime in June?) and when we return, we have plenty more fun to bring you - including more of Jim and Rory's overdramatic noir, a prequel showing you how the students and teachers alike arrived at Skyhold, and PLENTY more songs.

 

* * *

**To Letting Go and Holding On**

* * *

It was agreed that Skyhold Academy would be talking about their first ever reunion for years to come. In fact, those students who were getting ready to graduate were already promising to form an alumni association so all the alumni could gather more frequently. But as with all good things, said reunion had to come to a close. The courtyard by the gatehouse was filled to maximum capacity as students both current and former hugged and sent each other off with well-wishes. Cassandra, looking proud beyond measure, seemed to be giving Daniel some final words of wisdom while a little bit further off, Rylen and Rosalie were sharing a romantic goodbye which her siblings were doing a heroic job of ignoring.

Her eldest brother was aided in this blissful ignorance by saying goodbye to his new friend Kenric. The two history professors and Dorian had all promised to keep in touch - especially since Kenric was hoping to plan a research trip into the Frostback Basin in the near future - which had earned them the collective nickname of “The History Brothers,” courtesy of Varric. Before he left, Kenric was also stopped by Harding, who pulled him aside.

“There you are. Couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye,” she said, giving him a smile which seemed to temporarily dazzle him.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Lady Harding. I’ve very much… I’ve very much enjoyed your company this past weekend.”

“I’m glad to hear it. And I’m going to miss you when you go back to Orlais, you know. But I hear you might be coming back to our neck of the woods for research.”

“Yes, indeed, Lady Harding.” Kenric nodded, still looking a little dumbfounded by her words. “If the university will fund me, that is.”

“Oh, I’m sure they will. And you know… the Frostback Basin can be a bit treacherous. I’m sure there won’t be any castle ramparts from which to almost fall.” Her eyes were sparkling and her tone was clearly playful. “But if you need a bodyguard or anything all the same… don’t hesitate to give me a buzz, Professor.” She handed him a slip of paper.

“T-thank you, Lady Harding. But please, do call me Bram.”

“Gladly, Bram. And you can call me Lace, if you like. Although I won’t lie, I’m a big fan of this ‘Lady Harding’ thing.” She giggled.

“As you like it then, Lady Harding.” Both of them laughing, Harding sent him off with a hug and a wave as he joined his very amused colleagues by the gate.

* * *

With their guests departed, the attention of the Skyhold Academy residents turned to two things - that spring was just beginning to make itself known throughout the castle, and that Skye Rutherford’s first birthday was fast approaching. Anyone who dwelled within the castle walls knew that, and anyone who took even one look at her father could tell he was almost criminally excited. He was also, however, a little melancholy too, in a way only a father really could be.

“I can’t believe she’s a year old already,” he said almost every day for a week leading up to her birthday. “Where has the time gone?”

But at last the day came and - thanks to Uncle Dorian, of course - it was a celebration worthy of the name. Armed with a camera and Skye’s baby book, Cullen was particularly in his element, diligently recording everything alongside his wife and children. At last, as the birthday girl’s bedtime approached and her father took her up to the apartment, the party reached its natural conclusion. Shortly thereafter, Evvy made her way up herself where she found Cullen, looking slightly lost in thought.

“Hello, my darling,” he greeted her. “Is Cole around? I’ve had a thought.”

“He’s helping with the clean-up,” Evvy replied. “What’s on your mind, dear?”

“Tonight has been lovely - and I’ve spent most of it immersed in pictures and Skye’s memory book. Which got me thinking… do you think we could do something like that for Cole? A memory book, I mean.”

“Now that’s interesting,” Evvy mused. “Circumstances being what they are, he missed a lot of the traditional baby milestones. I mean, we don’t know what his first word was or anything like that… we only know his birthday because of the orphanage records. What would you want to include?”

“I’m wondering if maybe we could make some new memories - maybe see if there’s anything he’s been wanting to do,” Cullen said. “Like you said, we may not know some of his earliest milestones and so much of his childhood was hard. We can’t change that, but we can add some new, better memories perhaps. Sort of like giving him the childhood he was denied?”

“I love this plan. There’s some extra photos from the wedding we could use, like him dancing with me,” she said thoughtfully, “and I’ll bet Dorian still has the pictures he took when they took him to get the suit he wore. ‘Cole’s first formal outfit,’ you know.” She chuckled. “It’s a sweet idea, Cullen.”

“I’m so glad you like it. I think it will be a lot of fun.” He smiled. “And I know I want to remember every important moment of my children’s lives. When Cole gets back, we can see if there’s anything he has in mind that he’s been hoping to do.”

“All right. I’ll do a bit of online shopping in the meantime and see if I can’t find a book we can use. I don’t want to use an actual baby book, of course, but I’m sure there’s a suitable scrapbook somewhere.”

“That’s an excellent idea. And if you find a plain one, I’m sure Cole would enjoy making a little art to go with it.”

“There’s that. It’s funny how much he’s like me in some ways and you in others,” Evvy remarked, “even though he didn’t become our son until so late in his youth. Was he very close to you before I came?”

“In some ways,” Cullen recalled. “We were both quiet and reserved, so I think he tended to seek me out because I understood him in that sense. It was a bit of an adjustment for him when he first came here, of course, so I did my best to help him.”

“I can imagine. Those first couple years must have been quite an adjustment for everyone,” she mused. “Sometimes I forget the school is as young as it is, it was running so well when I arrived.”

“You know, it’s strange - sometimes I feel like Skyhold must have surely been around forever, even though I remember the very first day it opened.” He chuckled.

“I suppose in a way that contributes to the secret keeping,” Evvy said with a smile. “You’re all starting to believe your own story about the place.”

“Yes, I rather think we are.” He laughed again. “I know some of the students say they think this place is magic, but I swear they’re right sometimes - something about Skyhold seems to transcend the rules a bit.”

“I’m fairly certain it does,” she replied teasingly. “At most schools we’d have been fired for fraternization.”

“Yes, you’re right about that. Here at Skyhold, we’re not only kept on, but we have an entire school shipping us, attending our wedding, and throwing our children parties.”

“It’s a fairy tale castle and they think we’re their fairy tale prince and princess.” Evvy laughed, remembering Cass using those very words at the wedding. “I for one am not complaining!”

“No, nor I,” said Cullen. “I never expected to be a fairy tale prince - especially not one with a princess by my side - but I would say it suits us.” His smile was playful.

“Of course, then Skye came along and really did become everyone’s princess. Especially _Dodo’s_ ,” she added mischievously.

Cullen chuckled. “Most definitely Dodo’s - given the massive party he just threw… for our _one-year-old_.” He chuckled again, shaking his head good-naturedly. “That really was something.”

“Poor man really needed - and wanted - a family, and now he’s enjoying having one,” Dorian’s ‘sister’ noted sagely. “Not to mention, any excuse to plan a party.”

“Yes to both. But especially to the first. We’re so lucky to have him as Skye and Cole’s uncle. We’re lucky to have all those many aunts and uncles.”

“And to think I might have missed all this if I’d given up on you.” She stuck her tongue out at him, then grinned.

Cullen laughed and tapped her nose. “Well, thank the Maker you didn’t give up on me, as much as I may have deserved it in those early days.” He returned her smile, although there was an impish twist to it as he leaned in to kiss her.

“Lucky for you, you’re irresistible.”

* * *

Cole returned a short time later. “Just the son we wanted to see,” his mother greeted him. “Your father had a very interesting idea and we wanted to discuss it with you.”

Seeing Cole’s look of curiosity as he sat down, Cullen explained his idea. “My boy, I was just thinking - for the past year, we’ve been making a memory book for Skye, but I was just wondering if we could maybe make a book of memories for you. We don’t know some of your firsts like we do for her, but maybe we can make some new memories.”

“A memory book,” he repeated slowly. “A place to capture time, something to do the remembering when everything else forgets. I think I would like that.”

“Yes, exactly. As usual, you put it so much better than I ever could, but that’s something like what I was thinking.” Cullen beamed. “So I thought maybe we could make some memories, like a second childhood almost. Is there anything specific you would like to do?”

“Or anything special you particularly want to remember?” Evvy added. “We know some of them, of course, like the day we became a family and the day you got Snow.”

Cole’s eyes brightened. “Yes. Maybe we could include the first winter we all got to spend here,” he mused. “I had never made a snowman before that. Or the first time the entire school went to see a movie together.”

“Oh, yes!” Cullen said, smiling as he glanced at his wife. “It was a special showing of _Cinderella_ , ironically enough, given your and Dorian’s nicknames for each other.”

Cole nodded. “I liked the mice.”

“I’m sorry I missed that,” Evvy noted, laughing. “And we’ll have to include some pictures of you with your friends. Maybe with the book you all helped Ms. Hawke to write.”

“It's a shame there can't be an audio-visual component,” Cullen remarked. “The reading of that book was quite something.”

“It was certainly that!” Evvy laughed again. “All right, suppose we make plans to start this. I’m sure I’ve got enough art supplies that we can make the scrapbook look just the way you want, Cole. You can help with the design on every page.”

Cole’s large eyes were bright with excitement. “I would like that very much! We can go in order, starting with my first day here at Skyhold.”

“And once you reach the point where we all started to become a family, I can supply the photos,” Cullen said, then chuckled. “Maker knows that whenever there was an important event, I made plenty of copies of those photos. Then once that’s done, we can all plan some new memories.”

“It might be a little hard to find pictures from your first day here,” Evvy said thoughtfully. “But we’ll ask the other teachers. I’m sure someone has something we can use.”

Cole nodded along with his mother’s words. “I hid far more back then,” he noted. “Hiding, hoping, hearing everyone’s else’s hurt and how the teachers helped it heal. I don’t know if I’m in many pictures from that time. But if I am, I think they should go in my book, to help me remember how far I’ve come since then.”

“How far we’ve all come,” Cullen agreed, placing a hand on Cole’s shoulder. Then, he paused. “You know, if we’re planning ways to make new memories, we could always go with an old standby from my childhood - a visit to Lake Calenhad. We went there while we were dating, Ev, but it would be nice if we all went.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, dear,” she replied. “And I’ll ask Dorian to get Felix to look through the pictures he’s been taking for the yearbook all this time, there may be some extras we can claim.”

“Fantastic.” He beamed. “Then we can all sit down and plan out this little trip - I want it to be perfect.”

* * *

With all manner of parties concluded, things settled down a bit throughout the school - as much as they could settle down at Skyhold - and Varric thought he would take advantage of the relative peace. He only wandered into the school post office about once a week now; since both of “his girls” were generally within arm’s reach these days, he didn’t usually hear from anyone except his editor or, very occasionally, one of his few remaining distant cousins. (Well, he also heard from the Merchants’ Guild, but they didn’t count.) So there wasn’t often anything waiting for him. But he thought he was due to check in and since the weather was cooperating, he pointed his steps in that direction.

“Afternoon, Bishop,” he greeted Jim, who was manning the desk. “Thought I’d drop by on my way to the staff lounge, got anything for me?”

“Actually, yes, Professor,” the boy replied, turning to extract an envelope from a bin behind himself. “This just arrived today. Here you go.”

“...thanks.” He almost forgot to say it, dumbstruck as he was when he recognized the handwriting. Jim was curious, that much was obvious in his expressive eyes, but Varric kept his poker face firmly plastered on and gave a little wave as he strolled back out into the sunshine.

Meanwhile, with classes over, Dorian had left the library in Felix’s care and was busy cleaning up from the latest Skyhold celebration. Although most of the accoutrement from both the reunion and Skye’s birthday had already been dealt with, there were still some final things that needed to be returned to their rightful place. Thus, Dorian spent the better part of the next hour putting away or tidying the things he himself had fetched in the first place - tables, chairs, tablecloths, anything that still needed a home. Doing so made him realize just how many things he had borrowed or appropriated for the sake of the parties and he couldn’t help but chuckle wearily. Still, the delight both events had brought his fellow staff members, the students, and his Skyhold family were entirely worth it. _His family_ … it was nice to be able to say such a thing. It was something he hadn’t been able to say for a very long time.

When at last his tasks were completed, he made his way down to the staff room and all but threw himself into his usual chair with a sigh. Varric was already there, coffee in one hand and the other hand editing some pages from his latest manuscript. “Long day, Sparkler?”

“You have no idea,” he replied, running a hand over his face. “Parties, wonderful… cleaning up after parties, less wonderful. I need a drink.”

“I imagine there’s something in the wine cellar - there usually is.”

“As soon as I feel like moving again, that’s where I’ll be,” he replied, shutting his eyes. After a beat, he opened one again. “Join me, if you’ve a mind.”

“Oh, I could _definitely_ use a drink, brother. Let me know when you’re ready to relocate.” Varric scratched out a few words and scribbled something in their place.

“As soon as I can feel my arms again, we’ll go.” About twenty minutes later, he was ready and sent out a few text messages that he was going to be unavailable for a little while before getting to his feet.

“You sure a drink is the best thing for you right now?” Varric asked, stacking up his papers and pulling off his reading glasses.

“Technically sleep is probably the best thing for me, but that’s not going to happen. So a drink will do.” He paused, then smirked. “Are you concerned about my welfare? Color me shocked.”

Varric laughed and followed him down to the wine cellar. “What are you having?”

“Some Antivan brandy sounds like just the thing.” He immediately set to searching for the bottle. “What about you? Pick your poison.”

“I’m usually a whiskey guy, you know, but Antivan brandy does sound pretty good just now. I’ll have what you’re having.”

Dorian nodded, found the bottle and two snifters, and poured a bit of liquid in each glass, passing one of the glasses to Varric. “I feel like we should toast to something,” he remarked. “But there has been quite a bit of that the past few days and weeks already, so I’m afraid I’m fresh out.”

Varric pondered it for a moment. “To absent friends,” he offered.

“Oh, yes. To absent friends indeed,” Dorian said, lifting his glass then drinking from it almost contemplatively. “Have you been thinking of absent friends a lot lately?”

“Not on purpose, but I had a minor blast from the past today that has me stuck on the subject. Mostly in the sense that I wish I could go back and let younger me know he won’t suffer forever.”

The music teacher chuckled mirthlessly. “I quite understand that feeling. Past me could use such information in spades, I know that much.” He drank again, smiling slightly. “Ah, well. I suppose all we can do is enjoy the present with reckless abandon to make up for the lost time.”

“There’s that.” Varric studied the contents of his glass for a moment before taking another drink. “Part of me wonders if I should tell Bethany about… things. But as I said to her once, she can’t un-know things once she knows them and I don’t want to make her carry any more burdens than she already has.”

“If you’re referring to that terrible business in the Undercroft, I would venture to say she doesn’t need any more information on that. She knows how much it upsets you.”

He nodded. “That’s one of them, yeah. It’s not even just that I killed a man - I’m not sorry I did. That was the part I really had a hard time accepting, that I could end someone’s life and feel no remorse about it. What I really don’t want to burden her with is the reason why. Never was sure if you guys could hear what he and I said to each other.”

“I could sort of surmise what it was,” said Dorian. “I only caught part of it, but the blanks weren’t too hard to fill in. They did know everything that was discussed in the staff room, after all, thanks to that bug.”

“Yep. I snapped,” Varric said simply. “He said they’d be paying a visit to ‘the poor sick girl in Kirkwall’ and I snapped. I had nightmares for weeks that we missed one who went there.”

“Maker’s breath.” Dorian shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Those people were as close to monsters as one can find in the real world. To think we knew some of them - the ones who had worked here, Cullen’s old army friend Samson, Alexius… it’s just hard to swallow sometimes.”

“Agreed on all counts.” Varric drained his glass and reached to refill it. “I talked about it afterward with Cullen and Cassandra, they sort of calmed me down some. The General taught me how to box so I could vent on the punching bags. But even now I have bad dreams once in a while.”

“I imagine so. It’s only natural to worry about the ones we love, and you had even more reason to worry than most people.” Dorian sighed. “Feelings are just dreadfully difficult, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, and I’m convinced that when you’re a creative type, they’re worse than for regular people,” Varric retorted. He swirled the brandy lazily in the glass, studying it. “Case in point, I got a letter today.”

Dorian lifted an eyebrow, studying Varric carefully. “Oh yes? I’m guessing based on your tone it wasn’t a humorous proposal from an Antivan dowager or something like that.”

“Shit, I ever get something like that I’m having Songbird read it out in the morning announcements.” He chuckled briefly. “No, it’s… from my ex.”

“ _Oh_.” The noise Dorian made was somewhere between curiosity and commiseration. “That sounds _delightful_. Although if you’ll forgive me saying so, I’m a little surprised to hear of an ex. I think this is the first time you’ve mentioned there was anyone else in… well, all the years I’ve known you.”

“It was long before I met any of you, even Hawke, and I don’t talk about her for very cogent reasons. But you know how my typewriter is named Bianca? That’s why. She was a gift from my college girlfriend, who has the same name.”

“Ah, that makes sense. I suppose I never really thought it was named after a real person, I’ll grant you, but it _does_ make sense.” He paused for a drink. “I’m sure it came as a surprise to hear from her.”

“First time I’ve heard from her in a while.” Varric nodded. “I can’t tell the whole story - I promised, and it could land her in some serious hot water. Short version, her parents didn’t think I was good enough. We almost eloped, but she backed out at the last minute. She’s married to someone else now, but every so often I hear from her - just often enough, just words enough, to keep stringing me along. I did tell her off a bit a few years back,” he added. “I think that was around the same time I realized that Sunshine had become more important to me than I wanted to admit.”

Dorian nodded thoughtfully. After several seconds of silence, he spoke again. “Allow me to start off by saying that I, the man who all but ran away from his problems by leaving his homeland, may not be the best person to give you advice on this. However, I would say that by being as happy as you are now means you’ve already claimed victory.”

“You’re not wrong,” Varric acknowledged. “There’s a vengeful little part of me, you know, that wishes she’d show up at Skyhold _just_ so someone could point out my wife to her.” He chuckled darkly. “Maker’s breath, I was ridiculous over her. I mean, I was a lot younger then, and young people do get ridiculous. She just seemed, then, like everything I wanted. Truth is we probably would have made each other miserable in the long run.” He paused. “Well. _She_ would have made _me_ miserable, anyway. I can admit it now, she treated me like a cat treats a toy mouse.”

“Mm. Well, at least you realize that now. That’s good. And at least you aren’t left wondering about things - that’s the cruelest trick of the universe.”

“Sounds like it’s your turn to tell a story.”

“Yes, I suppose it is.” He sighed and drank deeply. “His name was Rilienus, he worked for my father’s software company. So right there already - boss’s son and an employee? It probably wasn’t going to work on those grounds alone. Add in my family’s attitudes being what they were, and it most assuredly wasn’t going to work. I knew that, so I watched from afar and… well, as you said, young people do get ridiculous. It was all just a silly dream, but part of me has always wondered… if I had asked, would he have said yes? Would he have been… at all interested?” He laughed bitterly and drank again. “All of that probably sounds even more ridiculous these days, I’m sure. I’m here now and with Bull and I’m far happier than I ever could have imagined myself being at the time. But it’s still at the back of my head sometimes…”

“Not ridiculous,” Varric assured him. “Just… human. We have a terrible tendency to be that, despite our best efforts. Maybe it would have worked out for you, but the odds of you getting that young man into trouble with your dad were pretty damn strong. Sounds to me like you did the selfless thing by not giving him the chance.”

“You’re probably right. After all, my parents already had their eyes on the perfect girl for me to marry - money, political ties, perfect package. They wouldn’t have been thrilled to see me bring anyone home who wasn’t her, I’m sure. They would have been less thrilled had it been him… for several reasons.”

“And you’re happy now. So am I. As far as I can tell, so are Tiny and Sunshine. So in the long run…” Varric lifted his glass again. “To letting go and holding on, in that order.”

A genuine smile crossed Dorian’s features as he lifted his own glass. “I can definitely drink to that.”

After a few moments of companionable silence, Varric snorted. “I nearly forgot about that software company you almost ended up owning,” he said. “Did you meet Isabela at the wedding? She’s a professional _software pirate_.”

Dorian paused, digesting that for a moment, and then almost immediately began laughing uproariously. “That… is _fantastic_ ,” he said at last. “Well, if she’s ever pilfered anything from Altus Software, which I’m sure she has, tell her to keep up the good work.”

“I’ll mention it next time she’s in town. Wait, yes, you did meet her - when my innocent comment was taken to not so innocent places.” Varric’s grin was faintly evil.

“Yes, I recall. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

“Hey, I’m a perfect gentleman… in public.”

“Aren’t we all?” said Dorian with a smirk, draining his glass. “And, in rare cases, in private too.”

* * *

They were finishing the bottle when Dorian’s phone buzzed. _Dearest darling Fairy Godfather, I need a teensy tiny favor if you please._

Dorian’s lips quirked pleasantly as soon as he read the message. “Ah, I’m being summoned, hang on,” he remarked and immediately set out to reply. _Anything for my Cinderella. How may I be of assistance?_

 _In shortest form, Cullen had the idea to create a sort of belated baby book for Cole. Would you be a love_ _and ask Felix to look through the backlog of yearbook photos and see if he can find any of my boy?_

 _Of course, it would be_ my _pleasure. Consider it done._ He paused, then sent another message. _A belated baby book, you say? Like a scrapbook of memories? That’s a marvelous little idea._

 _I thought so myself, but I’m a little biased._ He could almost hear her chuckling in the text. _And if Uncle Dodo has anything he’d care to contribute as well, it would be welcome, of course._

_I’m almost certain I have a few pictures from various events here and there. I’ll see what I can find. There are quite a few Skyhold memories to preserve, after all._

_That there are. The yearbook is wonderful, of course, but this is something just for Cole. I wish we could do one for each child that never had a baby book._

_That would be wonderful, wouldn’t it? I wonder if Josephine could work her magic… get some books, print some_ _photos. Perhaps it could be an elective - each student who wants one can join up and make a book._

_As ever, Dori, you’re brilliant._

_I do my best._ He smiled at his phone screen. _We can float the idea by her some time. Until then, I’ll see what I can find in terms of pictures so you can get that book of memories started. I look forward to seeing it._

“What sort of stunt are you plotting now?” Varric asked, observing Dorian’s expression with amusement. “Thought you’d want a break from wacky hijinks for at least a few minutes.”

Dorian chuckled and explained the substance of the text messages. “So I’ve been enlisted to help find pictures and I may spread the word to Josephine, see if we can get some sort of club or special activity going for other students who may want to do likewise.”

“Put a bug in Sonnet’s ear,” Varric advised him. “Ten royals says the poetry club would be all over that.”

“An excellent point. I’ll mention it when she next comes in for her volunteer work in the library. And I’m sure if I tell Bull about the idea, he’ll mention it to Krem, and the rest will be history.” He chuckled again.

“Sounds about right.”

* * *

About a week later, the time had finally arrived for the “perfect weekend” Cullen had so been wanting to plan for his son’s memory book, and as such he was almost more delighted than Cole himself. Having prepared a small picnic for the family, he gathered his wife and children to journey to Lake Calenhad. Even the weather was perfect as they arrived and established themselves on the bank underneath the shade of a few trees to have their lunch. As they sat enjoying the early spring warmth, Cullen entertained his daughter by blowing the soft white heads of the numerous dandelions growing on the hill and told his son about his own childhood memories of the lake. This was the place where he used to escape when his siblings were too boisterous, and the place where Branson had given him his lucky coin before he left for the military - the lucky coin he had given to Evvy and which still resided in her locket.

After their lunch, he took Cole to the dock to skip stones, something Cullen had often done as a child. “You’ll have to ask your Uncle Branson if you ever want to learn how to fish, though,” he told his son. “I’m terrible at it.”

It was even warm enough for Cullen to teach Cole how to swim a little, although the lake was freezing so that plan was quickly abandoned for instead sailing a small model boat around with Skye. Of course, this was all documented in photograph after photograph to add to the book Cole had already started constructing with Evvy’s help. They even collected a few flowers to be pressed and included between the pages in memory of “Cole’s first trip to Lake Calenhad.”

By and large, the day had gone exactly as Cullen had hoped, and as afternoon began to give way to early evening, he made his way over to their picnic blanket once more. Cole was tossing some grapes to a small family of ducks at the water’s edge while Evvy took a break to tend to Skye. As he arrived where his wife sat, Cullen immediately presented her with several colorful flowers he had picked while walking around. “For you, my darling,” he said cheerfully, kissing her cheek.

“Oh, thank you, love, they’re beautiful.” She shifted the baby in her arms so she could accept the gift. “This is such a perfect place. Look at Cole, he’s so relaxed.”

“I love seeing him like that,” Cullen agreed, sitting down next to her. “I love seeing all of you like that. This place was always so peaceful, I’m glad it still is.”

“It’s nice when some things actually are the way we remember them. Did you have enough to eat, dear?”

He nodded, then paused. “Well, unless one or two of those little cakes from Skye’s birthday are left, that is.”

“There might be. Look in the basket.”

He did so and after a moment, found what he was looking for. “Aha! Today just gets better and better, doesn’t it?” He beamed, tickling Skye under the chin with his free hand. “I hope everyone had a nice time.”

“I think it’s safe to say that we did,” Evvy assured him. “It was a beautiful day with my three most favorite people.”

“Good, I’m so glad to hear it,” he said, sounding pleased beyond measure. “I’m not sure how exactly to top this for our next outing,” he chuckled, “but I will certainly try. I want him to have as many good memories as possible to make up for the ones he couldn’t have before.”

“So do I.” She watched their son for a moment. “I do wonder what will become of him, sometimes. He’s come a long way, of course, but his future is hard to see.”

“I think about that all the time,” Cullen said. “All I want is to make sure he has a good future, that he has a chance. I hope that we’ve given him enough to make it happen. I _think_ we have.”

“I admit I was hesitant about him pursuing higher education,” Evvy confessed. “Not that he isn’t bright enough, because of course he is, but he… well, I didn’t know how he’d fare in such an environment. With the new system coming into place, I’m less worried.”

“I know exactly what you mean. Now he will probably end up going to school with all his friends and he’ll be close enough that he can visit us as much as he likes, so he can still be involved in Skye’s life.” Cullen reached out to stroke his daughter’s cheek as he spoke. “I’m glad she won’t be losing her big brother - although Maker knows we’ll all miss him just the same. I don’t like thinking about the day he leaves,” he added with a faintly pained chuckle.

“Children do tend to do that sooner or later,” Evvy pointed out, smiling.

He put a finger to his lips. “Shh, no, my little girl is going to stay my little girl forever. Isn’t that right, love?” He addressed his last statement to Skye, giving her a soft smile.

“Da,” she replied, with the sort of gravity of which only toddlers are capable.

“I seem to remember my brother Fred saying something along those lines too,” Evvy remarked. “His daughter Jahane is ten now.”

“I don’t like thinking about that either,” he said, chuckling again, although this time it was a little more genuine. “But I do look forward to the memories… I never thought I would get a chance at those.”

“That’s why the Maker sent me here, dear,” she teased.

“I think you’re right,” he told her with a smile, planting a lingering kiss on her cheek. As he pulled back, he let his thumb brush the place where his lips had just rested, looking thoughtful.

“Perfect as this day has been,” Evvy mused, after enjoying the moment, “we should probably get back to the school.”

“Yes, probably, before the sun sets,” Cullen noted, glancing up at the sky. “Cole can begin putting today in his book and I… I’m starting to get an idea I would like to look into a bit more when we get back.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“All this talk about memories… I really did mean what I said before - I never thought I would get a chance to have so many good ones. I know how blessed I am, to have been able to put some distance between myself and the past. Not everyone like me gets that same chance. I’m just wondering… is there something I can do to help them? To make sure other people - other former soldiers and what have you - can get onto a path to happiness?”

“It’s a wonderful thought,” she mused. “Maybe Leliana would have some suggestions for how to get started.”

“Perhaps.” He nodded. Then the corners of his mouth lifted into a tender smile. “You know, before I fell in love with you, I was up almost every night with a nightmare. They’re almost entirely gone now, but sometimes they do still happen - and when they do, I remind myself that you’re there, that the children are there. Sometimes I’ll go check on them - make sure Cole isn’t still up writing,” he chuckled, “or watch over Skye while she’s asleep. It feels so… safe. If I can make sure even one person gets to experience feeling safe again, it’s worth it. Maybe… maybe I can start a support group, I don’t know. Something to pass on everything the Maker has given me.”

“I think that’s a fantastic idea. And if I can help at all, I will,” Evvy promised. “I’m sure the others would want to contribute in some way if you need it, too. A lot of our colleagues have difficult pasts, after all, although not the same way you do.”

“That’s very true. It would be nice to think that several of us could contribute to something so positive. Well, we already contribute to Skyhold, but an additional positive something,” he added with a laugh.

“The world can never have too many positive somethings, my love.”

“How right you are, darling.” Smiling, he kissed her again before calling to Cole that it was getting time to leave.

* * *

Evvy was surprised, when they returned to the school, to find that although they were greeted by the usual sight of students milling about, there didn’t seem to be a single teacher in evidence. “I even texted Dorian to say we were on our way home, and he never answered,” she said, puzzled. “I wonder why.”

“It’s very possible that we left them alone too long and they’ve done something mad. But I would think even they’re partied out after all the events we’ve had lately.” Cullen laughed.

“I would think so too. Oh dear, I hope it’s nothing bad…” They made their way into the great hall and, finding still nothing, decided to try the staff lounge.

Cullen knocked on the door, mostly as a formality, then entered. He took a surprised step back however as what greeted them was a great deal of excitement. For a moment, the Rutherfords went entirely unnoticed as the senior teachers chattered together in delight. “What did we miss?” Cullen asked when there was a small lull, amused once again now that he could clearly see there was no actual trouble at play.

“Oh, we wanted to call you but we weren’t sure when you were due back,” said Josephine excitedly.

“I’ve just had a call from Mahanon,” Cassandra explained. “It’s official - we have Anthony! I have to go to the Marches to sign papers and appear before the judge, but he’s ours!”

At once, Cullen’s eyes widened. “Cass, that’s wonderful news! Oh, congratulations!” He crossed the room to embrace her, smiling broadly. Then he turned back to Skye and Cole. “Your first Skyhold cousin,” he said cheerfully. “And Skye gets a playmate her own age.”

“Yes, Skye finally gets to play with someone who speaks her language.” Evvy chuckled, bouncing her daughter lightly. “What do you think, Cole?”

Cole was taking in everyone’s delight with a soft, thoughtful look. “Anthony is like me - he was left behind and someone found him. Skyhold found him. I’m very glad he gets to come here and be happy like I am. And I like seeing you smile so much, Aunt Cassandra.”

“Thank you, Cole.” She put a hand on his shoulder for a moment. “I’m sure Anthony will look up to you for guidance as he grows up.” There was a glow of happiness about her such as hadn’t really appeared since her wedding.

“I would like that. I will do my best to help him like I try to help Skye.”

“You’ll do wonderfully, my boy,” Cullen assured him. To Cassandra, he added, “When are you going to the Free Marches, Cass?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll be gone for about a week, but Bull will watch my classes,” she added. “I don’t think the girls will mind too much.”

“I offered,” Varric put in, “but apparently getting the kids to write essays about physical fitness doesn’t fit into the General’s syllabus.”

“I’m sure some of them would prefer it,” Dorian teased. “I know I would. Anyway, given the expedient nature of this whole thing, I can’t plan an actual party to celebrate the news. But, lucky for us, we just had a party not that long ago, so I imagine we can find something with which to celebrate, even if just to make a toast to the growing Skyhold family.”

“That seems more than reasonable, all things considered,” said Leliana. “We’ll work something out - but Cassandra, if you’re going to catch that flight Mahanon booked for you, you probably don’t want to be up too late.”

“Do you need a lift to the airport?” Cullen added. “You know I’m happy to help if I can.”

“I won’t say no, Uncle Cullen.” Cass chuckled. “If you can bear to be away from Skye long enough, that is.”

“It will be hard, but I’ll try,” Cullen returned playfully. “After all, it’s for such a good cause.”

“Your sacrifice shall be noted in the hall of fame,” Varric quipped. “We will compose songs in honor of what you have done.”

There was a general chuckle. “That worries me, given the history you and Dorian have of _actually_ penning songs.” Cullen laughed.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, Curly.” The writer smirked.


	11. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra and Mahanon finally get to bring Anthony home, while the staff has fun playing Pass the Baby and surprising the new parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have come to the final chapter of "The Memory Band" and have come full circle as baby Anthony finally gets to come and meet his Skyhold family. Just a reminder that we're going on a brief hiatus after this, as various real life things demand our attention, but we hope to be back with more Skyhold goodness by June with any luck. In the meantime, we're debating making a Discord channel so our readers can hang out with us and with each other. If that sounds like something you would be interested in, please let us know - we want to see how much interest there might be in such a thing before we actually do it. ;)
> 
> And of course, as always, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your continued support of our series. We hope you enjoy this chapter and we can't wait to get back to bringing you plenty more Skyhold Academy Yearbook adventures very, very soon! <3

* * *

  **Welcome Home**  

* * *

The Lavellans - all three of them - approached the castle, Cassandra wearing a bright smile. “So here we are, Anthony,” she said to the infant in her arms. “Skyhold. Home. What do you think?” She bounced him slightly.

He made a laughably unimpressed noise and tried to burrow into the side of her neck. Mahanon chuckled. “You’ll get used to it, son. You’ve got a big family waiting to welcome you.”

“I love hearing you say that,” Cass said, still beaming. “‘Son.’ It’s not anything I ever expected, in truth, but I’ve never been happier.”

“Me neither, love.” He looked around as they climbed the stairs leading to the great hall. “Suspiciously quiet... wonder where everyone is.”

“Knowing Skyhold,” she said playfully, “they’re all probably waiting to jump out of a cake.”

“That would be a waste of cake,” said a new voice. Varric smirked at them from one of the side doorways. “Welcome back. So is this the new kid on the block?”

Cass turned and smiled, nodding. “Yes indeed. Varric, this is Anthony. Anthony, meet Varric. He’s your... well, I suppose he’s one of your uncles. We have an interesting family here.”

“I’m the whiskey uncle,” Varric clarified. “As opposed to the singing uncle or the chess uncle. Hey there, champ, glad to meet you. Everyone’s downstairs,” he added. “Welcome home banquet awaits you.”

“A welcome home banquet?” Cass repeated. “That’s so generous of you all, you didn’t need to go to all that trouble.”

“Sure we did. Curly and Siren got one when they brought home Skye, remember? Only fair you get a turn too.” He chuckled. “Come on, everyone wants to meet the kid.”

They followed Varric downstairs to where everyone had assembled. Leliana spotted them at once and got to her feet, spreading her arms to indicate the little family.

“There they are,” she said cheerfully. “Welcome back! Oh, we’re all over the moon to meet little Anthony. And to think, it all happened because of one Wintersend trip to Ostwick. Who would have thought?”

“Certainly not us,” Mahanon replied with a grin. “But here he is. As you can see, he has his father’s good looks and charm.”

“Clearly,” said Evvy dryly. She smiled, however. “Anthony Nathaniel Lavellan, the adopted son of my adopted... whatever you are. I couldn’t be more pleased for the both of you.”

“Thank you,” Cass said warmly, then laughed. “We were just saying to Varric that this is becoming quite the complicated family tree. But I couldn’t ask for a better group of people with whom to raise my son.”

“I completely understand the feeling. Cullen, dear, come introduce Skye to her sort-of-cousin.”

“With pleasure,” he replied, smiling broadly as he carried Skye down to where Evvy and the Lavellans stood. After kissing Cassandra’s cheek in greeting, he turned to Skye and gestured to Anthony. “Skye, my love, this is your cousin Anthony,” he told his daughter. “You’re no longer the only little one in Skyhold.”

Skye, her expression perplexed, stared at Anthony. “She’s never been this close to someone her size before, has she?” Varric quipped.

“No, come to think of it, she really hasn’t been, has she?” Cullen agreed. “All her other cousins are older than she is. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” He chuckled and stroked her cheek. “What an adventure this is, hmm?”

The teachers then alternated between eating (which the students were already doing) and indulging in the favored Skyhold pastime of pass the baby. Varric’s expression was amused as he watched both small people being handed around the staff table. “Well, at least nobody’s likely to mix them up,” he joked.

“Let’s hope not,” said Dorian with a chuckle from his place nearby. “They’re almost like a little matching set, aren’t they?”

“In a way, yeah. Maybe we’d better stop at two, I’m not sure how much more cuteness this place can handle.”

“Well, we certainly may all run out of space on our laps soon, that much I can say,” Dorian remarked. As if to accent that point, Josephine passed Anthony down, arranging him carefully in the music teacher’s arms. “Why hello, messere. Pleased to meet you, of course.”

Anthony stared at the mustache in fascination before reaching up to touch it. “It begins,” Varric deadpanned.

“The boy clearly knows style when he sees it,” Dorian retorted, smirking.

Josephine, meanwhile, was laughing and insisted on getting a picture of the scene, while Cass leaned forward from her place further up the table to watch with pretend concern.

“Josie, should I be worried that my son is currently in the company of the ‘two brothers’?” she called, her tone dripping with playfulness.

“They’ve yet to corrupt my daughter, despite unrestricted access for the last few months,” Evvy put in, laughing. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“General, you wound me!” Varric added.

“Yes, all is well,” Dorian assured her. “Anthony and I are just discussing fashion sense, that’s all.”

“I'm horrified,” Cass replied in a dry tone, wearing a smirk.

“It could be worse,” Bull offered. “Your son could be having this same conversation with _Cullen_.”

“Then I _would_ be forced to intervene,” Cass said, throwing a teasing glance in Cullen’s direction.

“I beg your pardon?” the history professor replied, pretending to look affronted. “What have I done now that I deserve to be slandered like this?”

“It’s been a long time since we joked about your ties, Curly,” said Varric. “I guess Tiny figures you’re due.”

“Oh, well, in that case I may just have to get more so the jokes can continue to flow,” Cullen baited, giving a comical shrug.

“I’m sure Cole would be happy to help you select some new ties,” said Evvy mildly.

“That’s an excellent idea, darling! Maybe he can even start his own collection.”

“You’re a cruel man, Cullen Rutherford,” said Dorian. “This I will not allow. You may do whatever you want with your wardrobe, but spare my nephew such horrors.”

“Cole is much fonder of hats,” his nephew’s mother reminded them. “He would pick out ties for his father and hats for himself.”

“That I can live with,” Dorian conceded. “But I’m watching you, Professor Rutherford.” Cullen chuckled, holding up his hands in a gesture of innocence.

“Perhaps Anthony can go hat shopping with cousin Cole when he gets a bit older,” Mahanon suggested, amused.

“I get the feeling I’ll have to keep an eye on all of the Skyhold men when they go shopping, won’t I?” The music teacher sighed dramatically. “Ah, well, such is my lot in life. Were I not already so busy, I would just open my own haberdashery and be done with it.”

“On top of your extra careers as a singer and wedding planner?” Varric teased. “You’d be a one-stop service outlet.”

“That’s true. I could provide a useful service and have the market cornered to boot.” Dorian chuckled. “However, I have two demanding jobs already - I’m quite busy being both Professor Pavus and Uncle Dorian, after all.”

“And you are utterly indispensable in both positions,” said Evvy, loyally. “Now, when do I get a turn with my new nephew? And hey, where’s Bethany?”

“To answer your first question, you can take your turn right now.” Dorian came over to pass the baby to her. “As for your second question, your guess is as good as mine.”

“She’ll join us as soon as she can,” Hawke reported, studying Anthony over Evvy’s shoulder with a smile. “It’s time for her medication.”

“I’m sure she’ll be very excited to meet Anthony when she does come down,” said Cullen. “She’s so excellent with Skye.”

“True,” Evvy agreed. “Look at this handsome devil. Skye finally has a playmate her own size.” She chuckled. “Do you know how old he is or anything like that?”

“About six months, according to the pediatrician,” Cassandra reported. “As for anything else about him, he was a little John Doe before Non found him, I’m afraid. How anyone can do that to a child...” She shook her head.

“Clearly the Maker put him where Mahanon would find him,” said Leliana gently.

“I agree completely," said Cassandra. "Whatever his short life was before that day, the Maker led him to us - and us to him.”

“I think we all can relate to that,” said Cullen, his tone full of warmth.

“True. He was made for Skyhold, just like the rest of us.” Varric chuckled. “I’m sure the kids will be mobbing you as soon as they finish eating.”

“Mm, yes, they look quite keen already.” Cass likewise chuckled. “Perhaps we should have them from a single-file line.”

“Good luck,” Dorian teased.

“Yes, I’m afraid we’ve left them hanging a bit.” Leliana got to her feet, the universal sign for quiet among the students, and they looked at her expectantly. “So... we have someone for you to all meet over the next few days - or hours, depending on your impatience,” she added, smiling as the kids giggled. “Professor Pentaghast and Mr. Lavellan have brought home their son, and they’re very excited to introduce you to little Anthony. Just please don’t overwhelm him, all right?”

The kids did their best to temper their excitement, but there was nevertheless a lot of cooing and excited whispers at the announcement. Several students were already craning their necks to try and sneak a peek at the new arrival.

“He’s already famous,” said Bethany, arriving at the table as Leliana sat back down. “And no wonder, just look at him!”

“Here, Bethany, your turn.” Evvy surrendered the bundle with some reluctance. “New baby smell. Take a hit, pass him down.”

Bethany laughed. “Hello, Anthony, welcome to Skyhold. Oh, aren’t you precious? It’s nice to meet you.”

Anthony stirred a little in her arms, rubbing his face with one tiny hand. “He’s a keeper,” said Varric, laughing quietly.

“He certainly is,” Bethany said, beaming as she watched the baby. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “If he and Skye keep being this adorable, I will likely end up walking out with them one of these days,” she joked. “So, who wants to hold the new little prince next?”

“I’ll take a turn,” said Hawke. “You know, if you want to steal one so badly, sis, I bet some arrangements could be made.” She shot Varric a playful look.

“Oh, I have no doubt,” the younger Hawke said with a laugh, carefully handing Anthony off to her sister. “I’ll try to control myself, though.”

“I offered to buy you some baby goats. You said they wouldn’t do well in the city.” Varric shrugged. “You know you just have to ask and I’ll make magic happen.”

“We’ll see what happens,” she replied with a smile. “About children, that is. Not about goats. Although they certainly would fare better here than in Kirkwall,” she added, laughing.

“Hmm, an excellent point. Hey, Songbird, should I get some goats for the school? Free milk and somebody could teach a cheesemaking class.”

Leliana chuckled. “We certainly have the space. Let’s see what the budget looks like next year.” She winked in Josephine’s direction.

“I can contact Redcliffe Farms about a guest cheesemonger,” Josephine offered, in a tone that made it impossible to tell whether she was joking.

“We would never be able to get rid of the President then,” said Leliana mirthfully. “He would probably move the presidential mansion here.”

“Foiled again,” said Varric with a sigh.

Leliana shook her head good-naturedly. “Oh, by the way, I've been meaning to ask,” she said, turning to the Lavellans. “How will adopting Anthony affect your living arrangements?”

“Unfortunately,” said Mahanon, “I won’t be around much more than I have been. So I’ll be counting on you lot, Ev especially, to help my lady when I’m not here.”

“Absolutely,” said Cullen, speaking for all the nodding teachers up and down the table. “You can definitely count on us to do everything we can.”

“The first thing you probably already know from watching me,” Evvy added. “You won’t be sleeping all that much for the first couple of months.”

“Oh, yes, I’m well aware.” Cassandra laughed.

“We should pool our resources over the next few months,” Cullen said playfully. “Like a Skyhold Parenting Club of sorts.”

“That’s a good idea,” his wife agreed. “And we definitely should start an elective on child care. I think it’s important for the kids to learn skills they might need later.”

“Even if they don’t plan to have children of their own later in life, a few of them may want to work in child care,” Josephine agreed. “We could help prepare them for higher education.”

“I could suggest Early Childhood Studies be taught at the new Fereldan colleges too,” added Leliana, looking thoughtful.

“Sounds like a good idea,” Varric agreed. “You can probably find a couple people who can teach that stuff. Not me, obviously, but somebody.” He looked amused at the very idea of running such a class.

“I’ll make the suggestion,” said Leliana, smiling. “And I’m sure there are plenty of candidates, don’t worry. Although I’m sure we would all enjoy seeing you teach a class like that, Varric.”

“Oh sure. ‘Okay, kids, time for independent study. Write me an essay about why having kids is hard work.’ Easy.”

Everyone laughed. “Well, you can teach the theoretical portion of the class, and Rutherford can teach the practical portion,” Dorian suggested, smirking.

“And they can employ you to demonstrate lullabies,” Josephine added with a giggle.

“But of course,” he replied. “It would be quite the class, no doubt.”

“I’ll admit, hearing you describe it, I sort of want to see it now!” Evvy chuckled.

“Maybe we can be the opening act, so to speak, for the real class,” Cullen suggested. “Could be fun.”

“So…” Varric looked like he was trying to keep his expression neutral. “We heading down to the staff lounge after dinner?”

“I don’t see why not,” said Cassandra, shifting Anthony in her lap as he was passed back to her. “Provided this one doesn’t need a nap.” She raised an eyebrow, watching Varric. “Why?”

“Oh, we were talking about putting in the DVD of the school play from last year and having a good laugh at the funny run,” he replied glibly. “We can bring down the playpen and put both kidlets inside, neither of them is especially large.”

“Well, that sounds nice.” She smiled. “A good round of Skyhold reminiscing is always welcome.”

“Knew you’d be on board, General.” He caught Dorian’s eye and winked.

“I’ll make the coffee,” Dorian noted innocently, his lips twitching slightly in a smug smile.

* * *

Once the students had dispersed to the dorms for the evening, the staff made their way back up to the main floor and into the lounge. “Surprise!” said a giddy Evvy, throwing open the door. “It’s a reverse baby shower!”

Looking quite surprised indeed, Cass looked from the room to her friends and back again. She let out a note of shocked laughter. “A reverse baby shower? You didn’t have to go to any trouble.”

“Of course we did!” Evvy protested. “I don’t forget how careful you were to make sure we got celebrated when Skye was on the way. We couldn’t do this before Anthony arrived, of course, but he and you deserve to be celebrated just as much.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you. All of you.” Cass beamed. “Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome.” Cullen returned the smile. “Now, I’m still not sure I have the straight of it yet - why are we calling this a ‘reverse’ baby shower again?”

“With a regular baby shower,” Josephine explained, “the presents come first and the baby comes later. This is the opposite.”

“Precisely,” said Dorian, entering the room and spreading his arms wide. “And there is quite an array of presents.”

“We knew you probably wouldn’t have time to buy anything yet,” said Leliana, “so we took it upon ourselves to get you some of the essentials. We hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind?” Mahanon repeated, smiling almost stupidly. “Of course we don’t mind! This is incredible, I can’t believe you - no, wait, I most certainly _can_ believe you did this. I don’t know why we’re surprised, honestly, this is a terribly Skyhold thing to do.”

Cassandra laughed. “You have a point there,” she conceded. “But it’s still very generous, I’m overwhelmed.”

“Nonsense, you both deserve it,” said Dorian, waving them inside. “No matter how he became your son, he’s your son. And my niece and nephews only get the best.”

“Your nephews…?” Mahanon glanced at Evvy, who laughed.

“Let’s go to the flow chart for this,” she said. “Dorian considers me his sister, since he never had one. You also consider me your sister, since you never had one. That kind-of-sort-of makes you brothers, which makes Anthony his nephew as much as he’s mine.”

Mahanon furrowed his brow for a moment; then his expression cleared. “Works for me. Okay, Uncle Dorian, our son thanks you for this and so do we.”

“My pleasure, oh kind-of-sort-of brother of mine,” Dorian returned, chuckling and offering a playful little bow. “Now come, these gifts will not open themselves, after all.”

“Indeed,” said Solas. “Nor is that cake likely to cut itself, as I believe we determined at your wedding.”

Bull chuckled. “Solas always has his priorities in order,” he joked. “Okay, Cass, how about you start ripping into the packages, and I’ll start cutting the cake? Can’t have our resident sweet tooth owners suffer too long.”

“I think I can do that,” she replied, handing Anthony off to his father and taking a seat amongst the myriad of presents. “Count this among experiences I never expected to have,” she noted, likewise chuckling.

By the time all the gifts were opened, the floor was virtually recarpeted in discarded wrapping paper, and the cake had been liberally dispersed. “You’re all too much,” said Mahanon. “Really. Thank you so much. It’s such a relief to me to know that Cass and Anthony will be with all of you when I can’t be here.”

“You won’t ever have to worry about a thing,” Cullen assured him. “Anything Cass can’t handle on her own, we’ll all be able to pitch in to make sure everything is all right.”

“And we all know your wife can handle a great many things, so you can rest even more assured that all will be well,” Dorian teased.

“I haven’t a doubt of it,” Mahanon promised. “And I’ll be here when I can, I swear it. I hate that I have to be away at all, but… well, we’ll make it work. It’s worked thus far.”

“It most definitely has,” Cassandra agreed, reaching out to squeeze one of his hands. “Even if we still must be separated from one another for now, I’m so thankful to be on this journey with you.”

“As my son would say, it’s good,” said Evvy with a gentle chuckle.

* * *

_Fin_

* * *

 


End file.
